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Azi Demonica

Azi Demonica

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NotFishing,
Ah, you're also making fanfiction, very cool! I will attempt to find you at FanFiction and start reading at least a little bit. Currently, have a slight hangover due to drinking too much French brandy, but it was delicious. The brand is B&B Benedictine, btw, if anyone cares.



Rainbowrider,
Hello again old friend, how've you been? Nice to see you back. Activity is a bit low right now, but feel welcome to posting a new RP, why not? But if you're busy with software programs, well, that's more important.

This month was gay pride month? I didn't see anything like anywhere in Prince George. I tend to not be part of any political movement, so I just don't care. I also dislike the idea of pride-to-narcissism.

Currently, Into the Ashlands is the only active RP. Wake Up, my science fiction RP, seems to have died, but it might commence sometime.



Oh, and speaking of which, yes, Fishing, I think you can go ahead and timeskip in Into the Ashlands. There does not seem to be anything else going on.

01-Jul-2018 07:23:45 - Last edited on 01-Jul-2018 07:28:44 by Azi Demonica

Inferi

Inferi

Posts: 35,939 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I'll just tell you now, Annie, so you can fix it before Fish has to say anything: Your character is too young, and there's no reason she'd be part of this expedition. You're almost certainly gonna need to fix those. The age 100% needs it, and you're probably gonna need a damn good reason she'd be along with that past. Done in by the dubious doings of destiny.

02-Jul-2018 05:27:56

Westenev

Westenev

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Y'know, if Annie were a dwarf, I think that bio would work. Elves aren't usually associated with hard muscle, after all - they're lithe and graceful. Dwarves are the down to earth, stout musclebound type - and at 5'1, who would ever guess she were underage?

I'm *Pretty* sure Lasky has said magical tallent develops around ones teens. Let's say you get a haphazard teacher who decides to skip the basics; would it be possible to create an over-specialised black mage?

There are quite a few fictional examples of this, where the character in question has a HUGE mana pool, but simply lacks the basic training to use small or simple spells. Instead, they focus on one spell and simply amp it up to 11 (usually at the cost of exhaustion). In video games, such a character would be called a "Nuker" or a "Glass Cannon".

Oh, and I'm still lurking.


EDIT: Also of note: Spies don't work alone. If Annie WERE working alone, that would mean she would had to of been cut off from the network. There are two possibilities for this; someone up the chain didn't see any use in keeping Annie around, or perhaps they felt she was compromised. Ergo, as she has no interested parties that she can contact to sell information, so she is no longer a spy, but rather, she is a "concerned citizen".
Noth
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rest
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happ
ens.

02-Jul-2018 12:33:45 - Last edited on 02-Jul-2018 12:55:17 by Westenev

NotFishing

NotFishing

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Annie, here are the problems with your bio:
-The Black Hand spy background. I'm going to give that a no.
-Her magic. Not only did you fail to specify which schools of Combat Magic she practiced, but you also haven't explained her experience.
-Her equipment and skills. She has magic, a sword, a dagger, and a bow. As a spy she is also presumably good at lying or sneaking around. How did she acquire these skills? She's only fifteen. Even if she started training at a young age, that still only gives her a few years to pick up these abilities.
-There's no reason for her to be here. There's no point in sending a spy to the Ashlands when chances are the expedition isn't even going to succeed, and most of its participants will almost certainly die.

You need to do two things:

1) Narrow the focus. Pick one thing she excels at, and one thing she understands the basics of. Either that, or increase her age so you can justify why she might have all of these skills.
2) Change her backstory. Create something new that not only explains how she developed her skills, but also gives her a believable reason to end up in a mercenary company.

Westenev said :

Let's say you get a haphazard teacher who decides to skip the basics; would it be possible to create an over-specialised black mage?


Yes. It's difficult, though. It's like learning how to multiply before you have even figured out how to add.

The main reason people start with Generic Magic is because most of the early spells are relatively easy and safe - it gets people used to the idea of channeling/focusing their mana and willpower without much risk.

Westenev said :

Instead, they focus on one spell and simply amp it up to 11 (usually at the cost of exhaustion). In video games, such a character would be called a "Nuker" or a "Glass Cannon".


This sounds incredibly boring. Beneath the gold, the Bitter Steel.

02-Jul-2018 16:07:07

Inferi

Inferi

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Maybe if they're about 100 years old and have had time to practice it. You should probably read these sections:

NotFishing said :
It can take a decade or more just to master one school of magic.

NotFishing said :
Becoming a Mage

Magic is usually hereditary, and is typically discovered at a young age, generally around puberty. Done in by the dubious doings of destiny.

02-Jul-2018 23:50:50

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