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Inferi

Inferi

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No. Annie Wells is the same character you always play, I know how this is going to go, and I don't want it. I'm sorry, but there's no space for a bumbling spy that has no reason to be where they are and then they mess up and get captured by the main cast and then it goes from there. Besides, I told you no Black Hand, and you did nothing about it. Your "revision" was changing the 12 to a 13, and that is in no way making it better.

If there's a child spy here, then they're extremely competent and not someone I want to be in the main cast.

You know what, screw it, no spies. I realize now that's going to complicate things unnecessarily, so I'm disallowing it.
Done in by the dubious doings of destiny.

19-Jul-2017 00:54:41

Westenev

Westenev

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Annie1227 said :

Age: 13
Gender: Female

Appearance:
5”1’, 42kgs. A cute young girl in a spring yellow shirt, jeans and good boots. She has long
blond
hair and green eyes.
Her body is covered in hard muscle and show’s very little fatty deposit anywhere on her body.
That's because she has been training and traveling.


The-I-uhm. Annie is on roids? Would explain her blond hair – IT’S A TRAP.

Okay. Onto the things wrong hair (pun, lol). Blond is for guys, Blonde for girls. It's one of those funny gender words that changes depending on who you’re subjecting the word on. Annie is a girl, so she has blonde hair.

Girls tend to not develop all muscly – and, if they do, it’s not often described as “cute”. Call me a judgemental prick, but I call it how I see it. Muscles just have another form of beauty is all, in a smellier, more AWESOME way. That aside, Annie also wears shirts and jeans, which are typically male workware. At this point, I’m wondering if Annie (the character) wants to be a boy.

Also, muscle weighs more than fat - she would have a higher BMI if she were musclebound. Keep this in mind as she ages too.
Noth
ing
inte
rest
ing
happ
ens.

19-Jul-2017 01:09:35 - Last edited on 19-Jul-2017 01:14:01 by Westenev

Westenev

Westenev

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I don't know you well enough to get into that.


Annie1227 said :
Profession/Skills: She was trained as a spy. She’s
small and light
, so she can reach or hide in places that others can’t! She can also start fires and survive in the wilderness.


I took a bush trek once. That qualifies me to live out in the wilderness, right?

Annie is only only several years off being a grown woman (and is likely reaching the peak of that growth curve), and is musclebound – so these descriptions "small" and "light" seem somewhat contradictory. Keep in mind that changing one part of your bio can leave effects on other parts of your bio. If you end up changing a lot of things, it's often better to rewrite the bio entirely.

Annie is only 13 – she likely gets by on third hand information she’s been told, but has never had the chance to put into action. This isn’t to say a 13 year old COULDN’T have amazing survival instincts, or know some lifesaving information. Read Hatchet, by Gary Paulson. It’s a semi-realistic book about a 13 year old who was the sole survivor of a bushplane crash, and has to survive half a year in the ass end of the Canadian wilderness before he finds the survival kit and calls for rescue. It’s a good read, and is a good basis for what a 13 year old will and will not know.

As for being a spy? A spy is nothing without a network – you need a team, you need contacts, and most importantly, you need a mission. It’s honestly more effort than its worth – I’d cut this part entirely, or re-evaluate what you want to see come of this.
Noth
ing
inte
rest
ing
happ
ens.

19-Jul-2017 01:46:07 - Last edited on 19-Jul-2017 01:47:37 by Westenev

Azi Demonica

Azi Demonica

Posts: 5,600 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Westenev said :
Azi Demonica said :
Music and music videos may also heighten creativity,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPgBZsGba8A


... Goth Annie? I approve.

XD not quite what I was thinking. That music video was meant to invoke, what I felt, was an artistic representation of human emotions and characterization, hence the lyrics' meaning. ...and I completely forgot that most people can't understand growls/screeches. Though, the music video does a good job showing different kinds of characters, which was what I meant to allude to. Though, I always liked the idea of blackened death metal/Gothic features in a story, they work quite well in steampunk worlds.

I like muscly girls, so long as it's not overloaded or roided. In my opinion, abs just beginning to show look the best on girls. Musculature on girls looks best when either soft or lean, I don't like it when the muscles are jacked or ripped, 'cause it's a guarantee she's on roids. To make things worse, steroids and similar drugs make a girl's forehead grow, making the girl look like a Neanderthal.

About Hatchet,
Had to read that in elementary school, hated it. The sequel, Brian's Winter, a book I never read, was a peculiar twist as a sequel, a 'what if'-based novel.

19-Jul-2017 01:58:22

NotFishing

NotFishing

Posts: 16,946 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Westenev said :
I took a bush trek once. That qualifies me to live out in the wilderness, right?


I was in Scouts for a few years and even with that experience and knowledge I can say with utmost confidence that I will probably die should I have to live in the wilderness.
Beneath the gold, the Bitter Steel.

19-Jul-2017 02:06:19

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