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Part 7 Somewhere in the Forest of Doom
Sc*mitty: Hey guys, guess what?
Deejay: Let me guess: you're an idiot?
Schmitty: Not even. I have donuts. A gift, as a way of apologizing for getting Patsy killed.
Deejay: Really?!
Schmitty: Yep *devours all the donuts and gives the box to Deejay*
Deejay: Guthix dammit, Schmitty!
Pinchatoshi: those poor donuts. They no deserve to be eaten by you!
Schmitty: As a way for apologizing for that, I am giving each of you, save Pinchatoshi, a celebratory kick in the nuts *kicks Deejay in the nuts so hard that he hurls one of his testies*
*Schmitty kicks Albert Fish in the nuts so hard that it raises Albert's voice by six octaves, so that Albert sounds like the main singer of The Four Seasons*
Albert: What the hell, Schm-! *Gets interrupted by Schmitty's laughter*
Albert: What the? Oh Guthix! My Voice, my beautiful voice! I hate you, Schmitty!
*Schmitty finishes his round of fun*
*2 hours later*
*Arrives at the hospital
*Guards knock out Schmitty, Albert Fish, Scottie, and Deejay with a brick.* *Guard launches Pinchatoshi out of a mortar* Pinchatoshi lands in Pinchville*
*three hours later*
*Everyone wakes up to find themselves strapped to chairs*
Schmitty: Where's Albert?
Dr. Pedigee: Thanks for bringing me back the water, you shartsickles! Elanore is VERY pleased that you got it for her.
Schmitty: so why knock us out?
Dr. Pedigree: what? Did you think I would actually live up to my end of the bargain? You upheld yours. I won't uphold mine. Now you get to watch as I kill Sir William Shankspear! *Strangles William, Starts carving holes into William's chest, desecrates the corpse, And starts ripping out the organs* Albert, Would you like to join in the feast?
Albert: HELL YEAH
*45 minutes later
*Albert and Doctor Pedigree are eating William Shankspear's remains.
Albert: M-m-m-mmmore tea?
Schmitty: So where does that leave us?
Dr. Pedigree: Well funny you should ask. Because the White Knights are coming to arrest all of you. Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

11-Oct-2014 23:21:44 - Last edited on 12-Oct-2014 19:52:00 by Pink 4 Twink

Schmitty: Are you serious?
Dr. Pedigree: Do you think I would lie to you?
Schmitty: Well considering how you cold-heartedly betrayed us-
Dr. Pedigree: SILENCE!!! Not another word from any of you! Just sit back and relax.. the White Knights will be here any minute.
Patrick: How can anyone relax whilst stripped of all clothing and chained to a wall?
Dr. Pedigree: Silence, fool, did I give permission to speak?
*Three White Knights arrive*
White Knight: is this all of them?
Doctor Pedigree: yes. Give them what for!
White Knight: All in due time. *Walks up to Schmitty* Tell me, Leprechaun, Have... you ever spent time in a Falidorian prison?
Schmitty: No.
White Knights: Oh joy... I'm sure all of the other inmates would love to... get to know you better. Yep you are being transferred, all of you, to the Jizzery Compound,
Albert: Well, I for one, am going to enjoy prison.
Schmitty: Albert, you are disgusting!
Patrick: I doubt anyone will want to "get to know" someone with AIDS
Schmitty: You have WHAT, Patrick?!
White knight: I hope you like the taste of prison food... and *****
Nah: Oh no...
end of part 7 and chapter 3 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

12-Oct-2014 20:24:05 - Last edited on 13-Oct-2014 21:40:53 by Pink 4 Twink

12-Oct-2014 22:57:35

Chapter 4: Stone-Cold Reformation Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

13-Oct-2014 21:45:39 - Last edited on 13-Oct-2014 21:52:48 by Pink 4 Twink

*Part 1
*White Knights throw Schmitty and his friends into different Prison Cells
Patrick: Hey, Schmitty!
Schmitty: Yeah?
Patrick: You're an ass hole.
Schmitty: I didn't do anything.
Deejay: Uh YEAH! Let me count all the WONDEROUS things we did while under your authority: Attempted Theft, Murder, Embesslement, Accessory to Murder, Assualt. And Lollygagging. Hell, Pedigree even pinned the Cannibalism charges on us. They're taking Albert to Death Row tomorrow because of it.
White Knight: SHUT THE **** UP, WORMS!
Nah: This is not how I imagined dying! And that's rude
Deejay: You do not think about what your actions do to those around you. You ignore the consequences of everything you do. As long as I'm doing the killing, It aint murder, right?
Schmitty: And your point?
Deejay: My point is that You should start being more mindful of your actions and the consequencces they cause and have caused. Take a long look at this brief stint of freedom and think "what good have I done?" Only then will you change.
Patrick: Poor William, though.
Deejay: I still don't get why Pedigree even killed him in such a brutal fashion.
Schmitty: At least, Pedigree let us say our goodbyes to both Patsy and William before we were hauled here.
Nah: I don't get that either, Why did he get us arrested, and then let us give Patsy and William make-shift funerals?
Frank: Could be that he has a far more agreeable side to him?
Schmitty: Or he could be insane
Patrick: Well, Schmitty. What a WONDERFUL observation? How long did it take you to figure that out?
*Scottie wakes up*
Scottie: Ohh, My aching head! Could you guys quit the bantering, It is giving me a headache.
Frank: Scottie! You, um, sound different I think you.. um
Scottie: You think I.. did what? Become a male escort? Knitted a doylee
Frank: Got smarter. Did that blow give you back your brain function?
Scottie: I can't remember. I only remember a hard brick hitting me in the skull.
Deejay: He's back!
end of part 1 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

13-Oct-2014 22:26:11

18-Oct-2014 05:01:37

Part 2
Schmitty: We've got to get out of here
Random Prisoner: *Scoffs* good luck with that. You are in Falidor's most heavily guarded military prison.
Another Prisoner: trust us, we've tried escaping. They've got us locked up tighter than a miser's purse in here.
Schmitty: So, are you going to help me or not.
Prisoner: *yawn* nope! my daily nap comes first!
???: Don't be so glum, Schmitty, prison isn't so bad.
Schmitty: and that's coming from a woman. Wait... Valencia?
Valencia: nice to see you again Schmitty. I am so very overjoyed.
Schmitty: what are you doing here?
Valencia: Sitting around. anything else?
Schmitty: No, I mean what are you in for?
Valencia: well life outside of the Toolshed Leprechaun Service employment roster is quite bleak for those of us who leave that slavery institution. I became an escort to make ends meat.
Schmitty: That's terrible!
Valencia: I've been locked in this cell for forty years for trying to live life the only way an escaped leprechaun can.
Schmitty: Did you not see opportunity to make the most of your life?
Valencia: Opportunism is a double edged sword, Schmitty. You can advance your own life, but think about who it'll affect. The world needs men of vision. People who endeavor to solve problems instead of create them. people who care more about other people, instead of themselves. The world has too many profiteers, scoundrels, charlatans, and knaves.
Schmitty: Among other things, I'm sure. enough. Are you going to help me escape or not?
Valencia: No, but I know someone who can. Have you heard of Grigor the Quack?
Schmitty: why is he called the "Quack."
Valencia: , you should ask him about it, anyway, when they let you out of your cell, make your way to him , he usually sits around. doesn't wear the prison jumpsuit he wears brown shirt and floral designed pants. Give him these documents, they are Favors that he owes me
S**mitty: thank you, but why help?
Valencia: It gets you out of my face. good luck!
end of par Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

20-Oct-2014 05:20:41 - Last edited on 20-Oct-2014 21:46:14 by Pink 4 Twink

*Part 3*
White Knight Guard: OKAY, SCUMBAGS, OUTTA YER CELLS!!! *Everyone's cell opens*
*Schmitty walks out of his cell and runs into a White Knight*
White Knight: What's the deal? You looking for a husband, Leprechaun?
Schmitty: No, I'll just get out of your way...
*Walks down a set of stairs into the cafeteria*
*Schmitty get's his food and sits down next to a guy in floral designed pants*
Schmitty: Are you Grigor?
Grigor: Maybe...
Schmitty: I need your help, WE. need your help
Grigor: With what? knitting a sweater? Washing dishes?
Schmitty: *Whispers* my friends and I need to get out of here.
Grigor: And... Grigor must help you? Grigor needs details, greenie!
Schmity: Can you help five individuals escape? Please don't call me "greenie" That's racist against lepeh****. I also have documents for you of the numerous "favors" you owe Valencia.
Grigor: Greenie has docuements? That's cute. Grigor has documents that prove he is queen of Varrock.
Schmitty: Aren't queens usually female?
Grigor: Don't question royalty!
Schmitty: can you or can you not?
Grigor: fine. I can help. But first..... we must play I Spy!!!
Schmitty: No! Schmitty no play I Spy!
Grigor: No play, no deal!
Schmitty: fine...
Grigor: Grigor spies with my little eye... something gold and shiny.
Schmitty: GOLD?!! SHINY!!!?
Grigor: yes. What does Grigor see?
Schmitty: Hmmm... *looks around* *sees a guad with a shiny gold key* a key?
Grigor: Yes, that is your way out. That particular key opens all the cell door. However the guard captain carrying it is almost never is this part of the prison.
Schmitty: What else?
Grigor: It's your turn...
Schmitty: *looks around* *sees a fight in progress*
Schmitty: I spy with my little eye something out of the ordinary
Grigor: Easy, you see a fight.
Schmitty: That quick!
Grigor: Grigor a master at this game. Those fools are going to get thrown into solitary confinement. Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

20-Oct-2014 21:42:21 - Last edited on 03-Nov-2014 20:12:08 by Pink 4 Twink

01-Nov-2014 06:12:35

Schmitty: And why is that information important?
Grigor: You need to pick a fight.
Schmitty: Pick a fight?
Grigor: It will get you thrown into solitary confinement; and that's where the guard captain with the key will be.
Schmitty: And when he realizes that his key is gone?
Grigor: He won't, Grigor sends his best thugs to kill him.
Schmitty: So I got to beat up some people...
Grigor: Make it bloody and brutal, rip out their entrails if you must. One punch will only entertain the guards!
Schmitty: You are talking to the right guy! *Shows Grigor his gardening shears*
Grigor: Brilliant! Oh and one more thing: Word has it that you are looking for your friend, Albert.
Schmitty: And if I am?
Grigor: *A duck flies on Grigor's shoulder and quacks in his ear* My duck senses are telling me that he is in Solitary confinement, apparently, he ripped off a guards arm and cooked and ate it.
Schmitty: And the guard didnt just kill him?
Grigor: Albert also ate the guard's weapon. So the guard decided to put him in solitary confinement.
Schmitty: And How will I get him out?
Grigor: Grigor has some contacts on the outsi-
Guards: OK SCUMBAGS! BACK IN YOUR CELLS!
Grigor: Come find me tomorrow, same spot.
Schmitty: Fine
*8 hours later*
*Schmitty is trimming his beard*
Schmitty: *turns to look at Patrick* Patrick!
Patrick: yes?
Schmitty: How was your day?
Patrick: I'm starting to feel lucky. Because of my AIDS, No one has tried to force themselves on me yet.
Nah: That's better than what happened to me! I got forced upon 723 times today alone! And one of them was a guard! What the hell kind of prison is this?!
Schmitty: You've been counting?
Nah: Nahthing to do. I hate being the only woman in a man's prison!
Patrick: Yeah, that's sure to be bad..
Deejay: Ok, let me tell you what happened to me. I was forced upon by six female guards, the women are just as bad as the men. Damn you, Schmitty!
Patrick: What was that saying? Oh yeah: Power corrupts & absolute power absolutely corrupts. Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

03-Nov-2014 20:42:20