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Chapter 20: A Noble Noob Christmas

noble noob: Merry Christmas everyone, Merry christmas!

level 30: Wooo there buddy, you can't just go around shouting Merry Christmas anymore.

noble noob: What do you meen?

level 30: Well not everyone is Christian are they? And if you keep shouting Merry Christmas the people down at the Walmart will get mad.

noble noob: So what am I suppose to say?

level 30: Happy nondenominational, and totally respectful to other people's religion, holiday gift giving winter season.

noble noob:

Santa Claus: Ho ho ho, where's your christmas spirit level 30?

noble noob: Reported for offensive language!

Santa Claus: What the*Santa Claus Dissapears*.

level 30: OMG you just banned Santa!

midgnight: Thanks a lot jerk you just ruined Christmas.

noble noob: You are very welcome.

midgnight:

noble noob: Will you marry me?

midgnight: NO!

noble noob: Go out with me?

midgnight: NO!

noble noob: Wanna see my giant pet rat?

midgnight: Ewwwwww!

noble noob: Can I at least get your number?

midgnight: NO!

noble noob: Ok so I'll call you around 7:00?

midgnight:

novice noob: Now who's gonnna bring deliver the presents for me and Betty?

noble noob: Well I will of course! My cat Sir noobykins-

cat: My name is Armadyl!

noble noob: and my giant rat Sir Noobert shall pull my cart all over runescape as I deliver the presants to all the good little boys and girls. But where am I gonna get the
presents?
*3 days later*

noble noob: I'd once again like to thank you slaves- I meen errr, childerkins for making me the presents.

little timmy: *faint cough* When can I see my parents again?

noble noob: No one sees their parents until all the presents are done.*whips little timmy*

childerkin: We've been working 20 straight hours, when can we take a break?

noble noob: *whips the childerkin* No breaks until the presents are finished, Christmas is in 3 days!

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chapter 23: Noble noob and the barbarians

noble noob: Hmm I wonder what this is.*enters barbarian village.*

noble noob: Omg look at all these fat, stupid barbarians!

barbarians: Yeaaarrgghh!

noble noob: No I wasn't saying all of you are fat and stupid, just the fatty over there.*points to Gunthor the Brave*

barbarian: He's insulting our fat chief!

Gunthor: You try staying in shape after you've had this many kids!

barbarian 2: Kill the noob!

noble noob: Now let's be civilized here, no need to act like a bunch of barbarians.

barbarians:

noble noob: You guys got a clothes pin or something I can barrow, you guys smell awful.

barbarian 2: Now he's calling us smelly!

noble noob: No, that was him. *points to little timmy*

barbarian: Now kill him and little timmy!

noble noob: Add me?

barbarians:

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chapter 23: Kids

noble noob: Hey Novice, how are doing on the whole, Betty is a man but you still somehow got him pregnant thing?

novice: Don't worry I am way over Betty, I got a new girlfriend now.

noble noob: Who?

novice: My wooden shield Bertha.

noble noob:

novice: I know Bertha is so much hotter then Betty.

noble noob: ...

novice: Not that Betty was ever hot or anything, seeing as how he's a man.

noble noob: Is there something you wanna tell us novice?

novice: No!

*9 months later Betty is at the doctor's in labor*

little timmy: Come on Betty you can do it!

noble noob: Will you learn to be quite!!!*brutally whips little timmy*

noble noob: I still don't understand how Betty is giving birth since she's a man .

*the baby is born*

noble noob: Awww what a beatiful baby.

novice: Wait a second, that's not my kid, it's Bertha*s!

noble noob: Your wooden shield Bertha?

*The baby is a wooden shield with bronze short swords for arms and legs*

novice: I can't believe you cheated on my Bertha, after all we've been through!

*3 months later Betty and Bertha got happily married*

noble noob: So how you doing about this whole Betty and Bertha thing?

novice: I'm doing good, I'm gonna stay away from dating my armor for a while.

noble noob: Good to know...

novice: And I would like you to meet my new girlfriend, Bethany the tree.

11-Mar-2007 02:02:05 - Last edited on 13-Mar-2007 20:40:12 by Elitemage14

chapter 24: Noble Noob Inc.

noble noob: Now that we have 150gp from robbing that bank and chimney sweeping, what should we buy?

rookie: HATS!

amateur: A CIRCUS!

little timmy: Build a company an reinvest our money back into the community.

noble noob: *uncoils his whip* You just never learn do you timmy?

amateur: Wait, lets do Timmy'* idea and build a company, and then we can make our own hats!

*many cups of coffee and broken bones later*

noble noob: Well I would once again like to thank you childerkins for "volunteering" to help build my factory and to make our hats.

childerkin: But you kindnapped us from our homes.

noble noob: I can't hear you over the sound of all my beautiful hats being made.

childerkin 2: But you said we could leave after Christmas.

noble noob: *pulls out a torch* Stop talking our I'll burn your feet!

rookie: Finally, all these beautiful hats are mine!

*a guard enters*

guard: Hi I'm here to investigate the kidnapping of some childerkin, would you know anything about this?

noble noob: I said get back to work our I'll burn your feet!

gaurd: What was that?

rookie: Nothing.

gaurd: I swear I just heard someone say they were gonna burn someones feet.

rookie: We're just an honest hat factory here.

guard: In that case I would like to buy a hat.

rookie: Buy a hat? What do we look like to you a hat factory?

guard: , I'll buy a boater.

rookie: No you won't.

guard: I'll buy a cavelier then.

rookie: We're out of stock.

gaurd: But theres a whole pile of caveliers behind you.

rookie: Those are all my hats.

gaurd: Do you have any hats for sale?

rookie: We have this straw hat.

guard: I'll buy that straw hat then.

rookie: We don't sell hats here sir.

gaurd: But you just said...

rookie: WE DON'T SELL HATS HERE!

*The guard leaves and another person enters*

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11-Mar-2007 02:02:07 - Last edited on 13-Mar-2007 20:44:23 by Elitemage14

chapter 26: Woodcutting

noble noob: Well rookie, I think it's about time we, *gulp* work on our skills!!

rookie: , I'm scared noble noob!

noble noob: I'm scared too, but we can't just be level 1 in everything for forever right?

*walks to a yew tree*

noble noob: Well its good to see we're not the only level 3s here.

macros: ...

deadeye: What are you 2 doing here?

rookie: We're here to cut down a yew tree!

deadeye: Cut down a yew tree? LOL!!! *laughs so hard he stabs himself with his ax* AHHHH, it hurts but I can't stop laughing!

*deadeye is now curled up in a ball laughing hysterically and screaming in pain*

raven1106: Why don't I show you where you two can cut something more your speed?

*takes them to a 4 feet tall sapling*

noble noob: I dunno, its awfully big.

raven1106: Just chop it down.

noble noob: *gulp* Here I go. *swings his bronze ax at the tree, but he misses*

raven1106: OWW my eye!

noble noob: Sry! *swings again*

raven1106: Oww my other eye!

noble noob: Ok this time there's no way I can miss! *swings*

raven1106: OWWW my foot!

noble noob: Ok, one last swing. *swings his ax*

raven1106: My pet cat Fuffy!!!

noble noob: Well we can add that to the list on 100 things I can't do.

raven1106: You have a list of 100 things you can't do?

noble noob: Yep, I'll put cut down a tree right after call a girl the next day.

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Chapter 27: The skiller

Noble Noob is at the yew tree in Varrok, talking to the macros.

noble noob: So, how are you guys doing?

level 3 macros: ...

noble noob: Pretty good?

macros: ...

noble noob: Good to hear. Anyone got any plans tonight?

macros: ...

noble noob: Really, the blonde from the general store? Where are you taking her?

macros: ...

noble noob: That sure is one classy resturaunt.

macros: ...

noble noob: I actually did see that special on Oprah the other day, that Tom Cruise is insane.

The 0magic0: You do know what a mac is, right?

*noble noob look to see a level 3 with a lave staff, red boater, full pirate, and an obby cape*

noble noob: Quite noob, I'm talking to my friends.

the 0magic0: I'm not a noob, I'm a skiller, I'm a level 3 but I have a very high woodcutting.

noble noob: So does everyone else here.

macros: ...

noble noob: I think this guy is an annoying noob too, but there is no need to bring his mother into this.

the 0magic0:

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Chapter 28: Merchanting

noble noob: Merchanting, come to my big merchanting sale.

wildwarrio10: Do you have an abbysal whip?

noble noob: I sure do. *pulls out a "whip"*

wildwarrio10: Thats not a whip.

noble noob: Yes it is.

wildwarrio10: Thats a piece of rope.

noble noob: 1 million gp for this finely made piece of rope.

wilwarrio10:

noble noob: Merchenting sale here.

komui: What you got for sale?

noble noob: This extra-super rare red cape.

komui: How much?

noble noob: 100 million and 1 gp.

komui: I'll give you 50 gp for it.

noble noob: 100 gp.

komui: 55 gp.

noble noob: 200 gp!

komui: Thats twice the original!

noble noob: 300 gp!

komui: Thats 3 times-

noble noob: 75 gp.

komui: Ok 75 gp is reasonable...

noble noob: 500,000 gold pieces for this red cape!

komui: How did you get from 75gp to 500k?

noble noob: 500k take it or leave it.

*komui leaves*

noble noob: Pffft, what a noob merchant.

*a level 126 appears*

double the Z: I hear you got a cape for sale.

noble noob: I SURE DO!

double the Z : Shhh, not so loud, I'll give you a piece of bread for the cape.

noble noob: Deal!

*they trade*

double the Z: Muhahahaha, the extra-super rare red cape is mine, now I shall somehow rule Runescape with it!

noble noob: Did I do something wrong?

TO BE CONTINUED...

11-Mar-2007 02:04:18 - Last edited on 13-Mar-2007 21:00:25 by Elitemage14