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chapter 38: Noble noob in jail

Noble Noob is locked up in jail with pirates and other low lives.

jail guard: Noble noob is on the cell on the left.

cousin: Noble noob what are you doing locked up in jail with all these pirates, and why are you wearing a dress?

noble noob: I'm getting married

cousin: , We gotta break you outta here!

jail guard: Don't even think about breaking your cousin out, you'll never get past our top-notch security, right men!

jail guards: *Snore* Zzzzzzzzzzzz

noble noob: He's right, those sleeping gaurds sure look tough.

cousin: What are you in here for?

noble noob: I mugged a mugger.

cousin: How ironic.

cousin: I got a friend of mine who's a lawyer, he'll get you outta here.

noble noob: Pffff, I don't want some lawyer with his fancy degree, no, I shall be my own lawyer!

*1 month later in court*

judge: Mr. noble noob, do you have any opening statements?

noble noob: Yes, what are you doing this Friday night good looking?

judge: *takes off his wig* I am a man!

noble noob: Can you put the wig back on and we can pretend?

judge: , what does the persecuter have to say?

persecuter: Well your honor, my cliant was just walking around the back streets of Varrok mugging people, when out of nowhere this HOOLIGAN came and mugged him!

jury: GASP!

noble noob: Thats a lie! I wasn't trying to mug him, I was trying to murder him!

cousin: Noble noob you idiot!

judge: Noble noob your out of order!

noble noob: No, my refridgerator is out of order!

judge: , I've had just about eneough of your back-talking.

noble noob: I'm gonna make your back talk.

judge: !!! I'm gonna lock you up for a long time.

noble noob: Maybe if I put this shiny bronze dagger on your desk you'll change your mind.

judge: Your bribing me with a bronze dagger?

noble noob: Gimme back my bronze dagger you thief!! *attacks the judge*

11-Mar-2007 02:08:53 - Last edited on 14-Mar-2007 22:47:58 by Elitemage14

11-Mar-2007 02:08:54 - Last edited on 14-Mar-2007 22:49:47 by Elitemage14

chapter 39: The Scammer

*deadeye has just teleported right infront of Noble Noob with 1 hp left*

deadeye: Well that was a close one, I just teleported from the wild with 1 hp, skulled, with no prayer, food, or potions left. Its a good thing to because I just pked this whip and it would be horrible if I lost it. And before I got to the bank and heal I'm going to bury these bones...

*A shade appears and kills him*

noble noob: What is this?

kimui: Wow lucky, you got an abbysal whip, there really expensive- AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

noble noob: Flossing my teeth. This whip is really good for getting the cake icing out from between your molars.

kimui:

Idontscamu: Hey that sure is a nice whip, I meen piece of floss you got there. I will give you this "magical" peice of cake for it.

noble noob: What magical about it?

Idontscamu: Uhh, It'll make you level 100!

noble noob: Boring.

Idontscamu: Ummm, It'll make all the chicks dig you!

noble noob: DEAL! *they trade*

Idontscamu: Yes, this calls for chalice of noob blood! *slirp slirp* MMMM sweet sweet noob blood!

noble noob: Well I'm off to church, wanna come?

Idontscamu: No, I should get inside. Us scammers, I meen vampires, no I didn't meen to say that. Anyway we can't stay out in the sunlight for too long. Plus we don't have souls.

noble noob: Really? Hey would you mind holding this wooden cross I just found?

Idontscamu: ARGH, It burns! Us scammers can't stand the sight of the cross! *turns into a bat and flies away*

11-Mar-2007 02:09:49 - Last edited on 14-Mar-2007 22:51:37 by Elitemage14

Chapter 40: Noble Noob a god?

noble noob: Hey, I'm at Lumbrudge but what happened to my church?

rookie: We tore it down 2 weeks ago to make the hat factory, remember?

noble noob: I don't remember ever making a hat factory!

rookie: Thats because you have short-term memory loss from eating so much glue.

noble noob: *takes a drink of glue* Don't critisize me.

welly: There he is! There is our savior!

noble noob: Savior?

welly: You are the leader of the International Runescape Church of Pastries! You are the reincarnation of our god!

noble noob: Then who are all those scary looking pale guys in robes behind you?

welly: We are your dedicated worshippers and followers.

rookie: Like a cult?

welly: We prefer the term extremists.

noble noob: Well I'm a little to busy to be worshipped right now...

welly: Awww but it won't take long, I need to go prepare my mother's bath in a few minutes anyway.

noble noob: You live with your mom?

welly: Ya so? I'm only 45 years old.

noble noob:

follower: Can I touch your clothes sir?

noble noob: No, your hands are all covered with Doritos.
*takes a few steps*

rookie: What are you guys doing?

follower 2: We're worshipping the ground noble noob just walked on.

noble noob: I think you guys should leave.

welly: Ya your right, its already 8 pm, its almost our bed time.

noble noob: How old are you guys again?

welly: 26-45, well except for the Sniws, the bears.

sniw: Hello.

noble noob: And how old are you?

sniw: 2 months.

noble noob: And what about your son?

sniwy: 3 years.

noble noob:

11-Mar-2007 02:09:56 - Last edited on 14-Mar-2007 22:54:31 by Elitemage14

chapter 42: Valentines Special

noble noob: Wow, Valentines day is in under 2 weeks, and I don't have a date yet! No where am I gonna find a girl so desperate that she would even possibly consider going on with an annoying noob like me?

novice: Varrok square?

noble noob: Of course! What are you doing for Valentines day Novice?

novice: Well I'm taking Bethany the tree to the nicest resturaunt in town.

noble noob: Which one is that?

novice: McDonalds.

noble noob: Can I get the toy that comes with your happy meal?

novice: Ya.

noble noob: Whats so special about Bethany the tree anyway?

novice: She's got huge branches *nudge nudge*

*at Varrok all the girls are gathered around some guy*

noble noob: Hey, all the girls are gathered around someone, and it's not me! Whats going on here?

midgnight: His name is jakeman and hes got blonde hair and blue eyes!

sakura: Ya!

noble noob: So Sakura, what are you doing this Friday night?

sakura: You destroyed both my berets, and now your asking me out!

noble noob: So is that a yes?

sakura: NO!

noble noob: So which movie are we gonna see?

sakura: We're not seeing a movie!

noble noob: So I'll pick you up around 9 and we can go see Hannibal?

sakura:

noble noob: Whats so special about this guy anyway?

midgnight: He's got blonde hair and blue eyes, and he has 30 pet cats and 20 walking trees.

noble noob: Ya? Well I've got new pets too. There names are Brandon the Leech and Stubbs the Zombie.

stubbs: Brains!

girls: EEEK!*runs away*

jakeman: Hey man watcha scaring the ladies here for?

noble noob: I get all the ladies around here, right ladies!

*crickets*

noble noob: Not even the lady crickets?

*guy crickets*

lenny: *monotone* I like Hannibal.

11-Mar-2007 02:11:24 - Last edited on 15-Mar-2007 20:44:53 by Elitemage14

chapter 43: Valentines special 2

novice: So how'd getting a date tho?

noble noob: Horrible, no one would go out with me.

novice: So your not taking anyone to the Valentines prom then?

noble noob: The prom!

novice: Yep its tonight, Im taking Bethany.

*later that night*

novice: So wheres your date?

noble noob: On my leg.

novice: You brought your cat Sir Nobbykins to the prom?

noble noob: Well I was gonna bring your mom, but she wouldn't return my calls.

novice:

noble noob: And your grandma was already on a date with Rookie, so she couldn't come with me either.

novice:

noble noob: And your sister was busy.

novice: MY SISTER IS 6!!!

midgnight and sakura: So wheres your date noble noob?

noble noob: He's over by the punch bowl, probobly licking himself.

11-Mar-2007 02:11:24 - Last edited on 15-Mar-2007 20:46:45 by Elitemage14

chapter 44: Noble noob goes to the doctor

doctor noobitus: Hello, I'm doctor noobitus, what is wrong with you today noble noob?

cousin: He got slapped so much from asking girls out for Valentines he got a concussion.

noble noob: Listen grandma-

cousin: I'm not your grandmother, I'm your cousin.

noble noob: Listem grandma cousin, the ladies love me, isn't that right Nurse Betty?

nurse betty: *slap*

cousin: Is there anything you can do for him doctor?

doctor noobitus: Doctor? Who said anything about me being a doctor?

cousin: Your not a doctor?

doctor noobitus: Of course I'm a doctor!

cousin: But you just said you weren't a doctor!

doctor: O My God a doctor! Where!

cousin: Is noble noob gonna be ok?

noble noob: My name isn't noble noob, I am Guthix, creator of Glienor, now give me all your cake!

guthix: Your not Guthix, I am, and I hate cake!

doctor: Well I have bad news. Unfortunately noble noob is going to be completely fine.

cousin:

doctor: I know it's just awful isn't it, I hate it when my patients live.

cousin: Well thank you doctor, I guess...

doctor: O I'm not the doctor, I'm the janitor. Have a nice day!

11-Mar-2007 02:11:25 - Last edited on 15-Mar-2007 20:49:20 by Elitemage14

11-Mar-2007 02:12:03 - Last edited on 11-Mar-2007 02:13:43 by [#RAQ12BDHF]

11-Mar-2007 02:12:10 - Last edited on 15-Mar-2007 20:50:53 by Elitemage14

Chapter 47: The Cure?

Little Timmy is limping through the back allies of Lumbridge in the dark. But what he doesn't know is that he's being followed...

Boon Blbon: There's a noob now! He's perfect for the experiments!

Double the Z: Quite, he'll here us, why can't you be more like Killer?

Killer: *looks angrily at Doulbe the Z and Boon Elbon.*

little timmy: Hey is somebody there?

boon elbon: Get him!

*killer runs over and sticks little timmy in a potato sacks, and him, boon elbon, and zezy start to leave*

guard: Hey! Whats going on here!

boon elbon: O, we're just hauling a bag potatoes to our house.

little timmy: Let me out of here!

boon elbon: Our magical kicking and screaming bag of potatoes to our house.

gaurd: Ok, carry on.

*the next day*

noble noob: Rookie whats going on?

rookie: Boon elbon his back, and he's up to no good! Hes says he's found a cure to make people stop being noobs!

boon elbon: Thats right, we have found a cure to this disease known as "noob."

crowd: Oooooo.

boon elbon: We injected little timmy with the cure, and know he is a level 90!

little timmy: Kill me... Kill me!

Zezy: And soon, Runescape will be clear of noobs!

crowd: *applause*

noble noob: But whats wrong with noobs! We lie, we steal, we beg, we eat lots of pie, we're to lazy to work!

crowd:

boon elbon: I've had just about eneough of you! *grabs noble noob and sticks a needle in him*

noble noob: What! Nooooo!

cousin: OMG! Noble noob is know a level 100 in full dragon!

level 100 noble noob: Why do I all of a sudden feel the urge to help people and eat healthy food, and to show off my armor on free to play!

TO BE CONTINUED...

11-Mar-2007 02:12:11 - Last edited on 15-Mar-2007 21:15:35 by Elitemage14