RuneScape Forum Archive | Ultra Noob The Noob Of Noobs

Dead Devil05

Posts: 15,243 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

My reserves are done. You can post.

Yes, this was 100 chapters long.

I made this exactly 5 years ago on September 23rd 2006.

So... Prepare for bad grammar, mispellings, typos and all the good stuff!

This was quite populer surprisingly, so I'm gonna repost it.

23-Sep-2011 00:46:18 - Last edited on 23-Sep-2011 03:59:20 by Dead Devil05

Dead Devil05

Posts: 15,243 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

!CHAPTER 1!
-= Training is complete =-
Ultra noob: Finaly my training to be a noob is complete! Now I shall start!
Ultra noob goes to varrock.
Ultra noob: The noob of noobs is here!
Random newb: Hey Ultra noob? Do you know the price of a bronze dagger?
Ultra noob: How am I supost to know?
Random newb: Well your lvl 80 and you have a nice dragon long.
Ultra noob: Yeah I got 5 of them I use them to slise cheese and then I put em all in a dish washer. Cheese graters are so expensive these days.
Random newb: Ok? Do you know the prize?
Ultra noob: Hmm? let me have a look at that. Hmmm? Ill trade ya one of my dragon longs for the bronze dagger it looks like a must better cheese sliser.
Random newb: Deal!
Random person: Wow you are such a noob.
Ultra noob: Hey! ive been though 2 years of training to be an Ultra noob and your calling me a beginer!?
Random scammer: Hey Ill trade you this peace of cheese for that stupid looking party hat on your head.
Ultra noob: You got your self a deal!
Ultra noob and random scammer trade.
Ultra noob: Ha! I riped you off big time!
Random person: You idiot! You could have bought a lot of cheese with the cash you could have sold that party hat for!
Ultra noob: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

23-Sep-2011 00:47:27 - Last edited on 23-Sep-2011 01:30:36 by Dead Devil05

Dead Devil05

Posts: 15,243 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

!CHAPTER 2!
-= The cheese shop =-
Ultra noob: OMFG A CHEESE SHOP!
Shop keeper: Can I help you?
Ultra noob: Ill have a cheese cake please.
Shop keeper: Sorry we are all out.
Ulrta noob: You call this a cheese shop! ARGH! You asked for it! GIMME FREE STUFF! GIMME FREE STUFF! GIMME FREE STUFF! GIMME FREE STUFF! GIMME FREE STUFF! GIMME FREE STUFF! GIMME FREE STUFF!
Shop keeper: OK OK! For the love of saradomin please stop! Ill give all the cheese you want if you just stop! AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
Shop keeper runs out of the shop and jumps off a cliff.
Ultra noob: WOOHOO! I own a cheese shop!
Random person: Can I have some cheese please.
Ultra noob: What does this look like? A cheese shop!?
Random person: Well yes that what it is.
Ultra noob: Oh right the shop keeper ran off a cliff and killed him self because I anoyed him to death because he dident have a cheese cake.
Random person: YOU MADE A PERSON KILL HIMSELF JUST BECAUSE HE HAD NO CHEESE CAKE?! OMFG!
Random noob runs to call the police.
Ultra noob: Whats his problem?

23-Sep-2011 00:48:17 - Last edited on 23-Sep-2011 15:46:58 by Dead Devil05

Dead Devil05

Posts: 15,243 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

!CHAPTER 3!
-= Light house of cheese =-
Ultra noob: Oooooo! A lighthouse!
Person: Meh thats just the lighthouse of cheese.
ZOOOOOOOOOM!
Person blinks and Ultra noob disapeard.
Ultra noob: So many stairs!
Ultra noob finaly gets to the top and he sees a lighthouse keeper.
Ultra noob: I am here for the cheese.
Lighthouse keeper: Take all you want its not good to me.
Out side the light house...
Person: Geez that guy can run fast!
Ultra noob: YAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH! (BANG)!
Person: And he can make one hell of a fall!
Ultra noob: I guess the lighthouse keeper was right...
On top of the lighthouse...
Lighthouse keeper: That idiot! I told him redbull dosent realy give him wings!
Out side the lighthouse.
Ultra noob: Hey! This is not cheese its plastic!
Person: April fool!
Ultra noob: I thought it was december...Well ill just rob some cheese from my own shop bye.
Person: A CHEESE SHOP! O_o

23-Sep-2011 00:50:15 - Last edited on 23-Sep-2011 15:48:44 by Dead Devil05

Dead Devil05

Posts: 15,243 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

!CHAPTER 4!
-= The kitchen =-
Ultra noob: Hey cook! Do you know how to make cheese?
Cook: Well duh you stupid noob I am a cook.
Ultra noob: My name is Ultra noob you idiot you are calling me a beginer!
Cook: Get out!
Ultra noob: You asked for it! GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF!
Cook: NOOO! The noobyness! Take all the cheese you want! ARGH! (Runs out screaming)
Ultra noob: Yummmmm cheese!
Mouse: Hey you get away from my cheese!
Ultra noob: I was here first!
Mouse: I got here an hour ago!
Ultra noob: I got here 1 minute ago!
Mouse: You asked for it!
Mouse kills Ultra noob in one hit.
Ultra noob: NOOOOOO! My cheese! How can a lvl 80 loose to a mouse!
Everyone: HAHA NOOB!
Ultra noob: Im Ultra noob you noobs!

23-Sep-2011 00:54:21 - Last edited on 23-Sep-2011 15:50:09 by Dead Devil05

Dead Devil05

Posts: 15,243 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

!CHAPTER 5!
-= King black dragon =-
Ultra noob goes to king black dragons lair.
King black dragon: RRRRRRROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRR!!!
Ultra noob: How rude!
King black dragon: Get out or ill kill you!
Ultra noob: Fine! I just wont invite you to my house its got one wooden chair and its better than this dump!
King black dragon: Dude just get out before I fry you to death...
Ultra noob: Only if you give me free stuff.
King black dragon:

Ultra noob: Dont look at me like that!
King black dragon:

Ultra noob: You have been a very naughy dragon. Your grounded!
King black dragon: O_o

Ultra noob: Now sit!
King black dragon: Thats it your going down!
Ultra noob: GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF GIVE ME FREE STUFF!
King black dragon: OK OK! JUST STOP! Here have this Dragon med helm its worthless to me anyway you can never get them my size.
Ultra noob: Yay!
Ultra noob goes outside of lier.
Ultra noob: WOOHOO! I Got a dragon med helm now im unstopable!
lvl 126 player killer: Now your not! (Kills Ultra noob.)
Ultra noob: NOOOOOOOOOO! (Died)

23-Sep-2011 00:54:21 - Last edited on 23-Sep-2011 15:51:38 by Dead Devil05

Dead Devil05

Posts: 15,243 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

!CHAPTER 6!
-= The argument =-
Ultra noob: GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF!
Person: Do I know you?
Ultra noob: I am Ultra noob the noob of noobs!
Person: Riiiiiiighhhhhhhhht?? Im off.
Ultra noob: Im going to anoy that lvl 98.
Dead Devil05: Not if I can help it! Ultra noob runs into a tree.
Ultra noob: (BANG) Ouch! How did you do that?
Dead Devil05: Geez your an idiot.
Ultra noob: How dare you talk to the noob of noobs like that! Do you know who I am!?
Dead Devil05: Yeah your Ultra noob I created you and I just made you walk into that tree.
Ultra noob: You lost me.
Dead Devil05: I created this noob story and I control this story.
Ultra noob: Geez and you had to make me stupid?
Dead Devil05: Yep.
Ultra noob: You asked for it! GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF!
Dead Devil05: If you dont shut up Ill delete this story and you with it!

Ultra noob: Ok fine

Dead Devil05: Now go and anoy someone else or Ill turn you into a cockrouch made of cheese so you will eat yourself.
Ultra noob: You cant do that. If you did Ill report you under bug abuse!
Dead Devil05: You do know I created this story, anything can happen!
Ultra noob: Fine Ill go anoy someone else sheesh.

23-Sep-2011 00:54:22 - Last edited on 23-Sep-2011 15:53:40 by Dead Devil05

Dead Devil05

Posts: 15,243 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

!CHAPTER 7!
-= Castle wars =-
Ultra noob: Yes I got the flag!
Jagex mod: Ultra noob. For breaking the number one rule "Being a noob" You will now remain lvl 3 for the rest of your life and become extra dumb even dumber than a newb.
Ultra noob: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
lvl 70s: HA! Your not lvl 80 anymore! Get the flag guys!
Ultra noob: ARGH! (Died)
lvl 126: Haha! You got owned!
Ultra noob: Shup up or Ill ask for free stuff!
lvl 126: ROFL!
Ultra noob: GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF!
lvl 126: ARGH! How can someone be that nooby! You are the most anoying person to ask for free stuff ever! Take this and leave me aloun!
Ultra noob reaseved Dragon chain.
Ultra noob: OOOOO Red mexican cheese! (Bites it and his teeth crack)
lvl 126: Man he is stupid all right.

Ultra noob: To the dentist.

23-Sep-2011 00:54:23 - Last edited on 22-Jul-2012 14:18:49 by Dead Devil05

Dead Devil05

Posts: 15,243 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

!CHAPTER 8!
-= The dentist =-
Ultra noob knocks on the dentists door.
KNOCK KNOCK!
Dentist: Hello?
Ultra noob: Er eed ew eeth.
Dentist: What? You dont have any teeth I cant understand you.
Ultra noob: Er nee ne tee!
Dentist: Come inside and choose some new teeth then after Ill be able to understand you. Now choose a pair.
Ultra noob picks up a pair of teeth.
Dentist: THE EXTRA NOOBY ULTRA TEETH! Are you serius? That will make your voise extra anoying.
Ultra noob: Ep.
Dentist puts in extra nooby ultra teeth.
Dentist: Now what were you saying?
Ultra noob: I was saying I need new teeth but now you gave me some.
Dentist: Ok. That will be 1000k gp.
Ultra noob: WHAT I CANT AFORD THAT!
Dentist: Ill just take back these teeth then..
Ultra noob: GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF GIVE ME SOME FREE STUFF!
Dentist: ARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH! The extra nooby ultra teeth makes it extra anoying! ARGH! (Runs to his bedroom jumps out the window and kills himself.)
Ultra noob: Yay free teeth! I wonder if they are good at eating cheese.

23-Sep-2011 00:54:23 - Last edited on 22-Jul-2012 14:19:25 by Dead Devil05

Dead Devil05

Posts: 15,243 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

!CHAPTER 9!
-= Noob busters =-
Person: Theres a noob anoying all of varrock! What shall I do?
(Ghost busters theme tune sound)
YOUR GETTING ANOYED BY A NOOB?
AND THERE NOTHING YOU CAN DO?
WHO ARE YOU GONNA CALL?
NOOB BUSTERS!!!!!
WE PROTECT YOU FROM NOOBS!
AND WE NEVER FAIL!
WHO DID THE JOB?
NOOB BUSTERS!!!
Ultra noob: How rubbish is that theme tune. Mine is much better!
(Triple Hs theme tune sound)
THE NOOB OF NOOBS...
HE IS THE ULTRA
BOW DOWN TO THE
BOW DOWN TO THE NOOB...
BOW DOWN TO THE
BOW DOWN TO THE NOOB...
HE TAKES SOME CHEESE
OVER A PARTY HAT...
HE ATE THE CHEESE
AND IT TAISTED GOOD...
THE NOOB ATE IT ALL...
BOW DOWN TO THE
BOW DOWN TO THE NOOB!
Noob busters: Get him lads!
Ultra noob: ARGH! (Runs for his life)
Noob busters: Hes getting away!
Ultra noob: EEK! (Hides behind wall and Noob busters run past)
Noob busters: Where is he?
Ultra noob: PHEW!
Person: Hes over here!
Ultra noob: Ill anoy you later! (Runs)
Noob busters: Comon! Hes only lvl 3!
Ultra noob: I might lose them in lumbridge! Buts its sooo far away!
Person: Its just over the bridge!
Ultra noob: Over he bridge!? Thats miles away! I got a better idea! YAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Ultra noob jumps in the water and drowns because he cant swim.
Ultra noob: Yay! Im in lumbridge! Now they will never find me!

23-Sep-2011 00:54:24 - Last edited on 22-Jul-2012 14:19:59 by Dead Devil05

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