Forums

03-Jun-2011 00:10:33

I've made some various tweaks and updates - thanks Poller5. Theres still a few places I'm not completely happy with, so I'll be working on it some more in the coming weeks.
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Archaic Lord said...

"Great story.
P.S I think you mean aide, not aid."
Thanks! And yes you're right, fixed.
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Kittyphantom said...

"This story is brilliant.
That is all."
Thank you.
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Pakvald said...
"Hello, I was just reading this story while letting my friend kill me for wilderness hat boost and must I say it is brilliant, and also might I suggest a change to something?
When you said:
Membranous winds protruded from a hunched back, ripped and torn by splintered protruding bone.
I think you meant to say wings instead of winds? It doesn't distract from the story but thought you might want to know and also

I'm a member of The Novelist Guild's Outreach Program and from reading this story I am confident that you would qualify for a writer at the very least, if you have not already applied.
QFC: 49-50-512-62337215"
Thank you. And thanks for the spot, I've fixed that up. The Novelist Guild looks very interesting, I'll look into joining some time. Proud leader of The MaSoRS . A skilling and community clan, founded 2003.

03-Jun-2011 12:10:14 - Last edited on 03-Jun-2011 12:18:15 by MilkN2Sugars

"By Jove, Pakvald. I did not even get that until you pointed it out... I had been visualising wind emerging from holes in the creature's back.
Perhaps the fact that I was tired at the time (and still am, as a matter of fact) contributed to this foolishness on my part...
Addendum: For the sake of transparency and honesty and whatnot, I suppose I should state something that occurred to me even as I was reading the story.
At some point in the future, I hope to examine a certain piece of lore material which I have been led to believe may at least partially involve Reldo.
Now, I do not yet know what I might learn about Reldo from this piece, if he is indeed involved at all.
However, if upon reading this material I find that he does not live in the eastern part of the city after all, may I post here to present what information I have gleaned regarding his place of residence so as to prevent your story from breaching canon on this note?"
Well, that would be a rather interesting concept indeed - although certainly not what I was aiming for. :p
I'd be very interested to hear of anything you learn about Reldo. I'm unashamed to say that I only mentioned him living in the east of the city in order to make the sentence flow better :p, but keeping to cannon is always good and I'm sure I could fit in whatever you find.
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insane rev said...

"great story it acualy is better than most of the books i read"
Thank you.
………¸•*ˆ*•¸..ˆ°*•¸..….¸¸,‹•*ˆ\±/ˆ*•›,¸¸(¯`•¸•´¯)MìÌkÑ2Šùgärš(¯`•¸•´¯)¸¸,‹•*ˆ\±/ˆ*•›,¸¸.…..¸•*°ˆ..¸•*ˆ*•¸
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'›„¸¸¸„‹ˆ…°»„¸¸¸„«ˆ…ˆ›,¸¸,Äñd ÿöµ`|| mäké †hé b隆 špééçh ÿöµ`|| ëvër rëgrë†,¸¸,‹ˆ…ˆ»„¸¸¸„«°…ˆ›„¸¸¸„‹' Proud leader of The MaSoRS . A skilling and community clan, founded 2003.

03-Jun-2011 12:17:54

12-Jun-2011 22:24:31

Thank you guys.
………¸•*ˆ*•¸..ˆ°*•¸..….¸¸,‹•*ˆ\±/ˆ*•›,¸¸(¯`•¸•´¯)MìÌkÑ2Šùgärš(¯`•¸•´¯)¸¸,‹•*ˆ\±/ˆ*•›,¸¸.…..¸•*°ˆ..¸•*ˆ*•¸
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'›„¸¸¸„‹ˆ…°»„¸¸¸„«ˆ…ˆ›,¸¸,Äñd ÿöµ`|| mäké †hé b隆 špééçh ÿöµ`|| ëvër rëgrë†,¸¸,‹ˆ…ˆ»„¸¸¸„«°…ˆ›„¸¸¸„‹' Proud leader of The MaSoRS . A skilling and community clan, founded 2003.

16-Jun-2011 16:33:19

27-Jun-2011 10:37:04

27-Jun-2011 10:37:06 - Last edited on 27-Jun-2011 10:38:05 by h6h67h67h

Thank you.
Yes, I was being purposefully vague about the civilisation and it's downfall, the focus of the story being on Harvey's journey and encounter with the creature, rather than how the creature itself came to be.
That being said, the fall of the civilisation does sound like it would make for an interesting story. :p I may look into it some time.
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'›„¸¸¸„‹ˆ…°»„¸¸¸„«ˆ…ˆ›,¸¸,Äñd ÿöµ`|| mäké †hé b隆 špééçh ÿöµ`|| ëvër rëgrë†,¸¸,‹ˆ…ˆ»„¸¸¸„«°…ˆ›„¸¸¸„‹' Proud leader of The MaSoRS . A skilling and community clan, founded 2003.

28-Jun-2011 19:48:40