The end is tragic of course, but would it make more sense if the gull was somehow connected to the king? Could the narrator hear the king's cry in the gull's call? Perhaps a single subtle mention of the sea at the beginning of the piece could allow this choice of demise to have a place that ties inextricably in to the tale. Just some ideas.
The end is fantastic though! I love the foundation and tower analogy, especially since towers are almost always measured by their foundations in literature, and you took the exact opposite perspective to excellent effect!
With that in mind, and as I review the fourth paragraph again, I wonder if my thoughts about no physical pain might be too clichéd, and your existing approach might be more effective, just because it's less usual and more iChukish! I do believe in always keeping to ones own way of telling a story -- not that you need me to tell you that!
This was skillful and creative storytelling as always, Chuk! Thanks so much for bringing it to my attention.
Dreamweaver
The end is fantastic though! I love the foundation and tower analogy, especially since towers are almost always measured by their foundations in literature, and you took the exact opposite perspective to excellent effect!
With that in mind, and as I review the fourth paragraph again, I wonder if my thoughts about no physical pain might be too clichéd, and your existing approach might be more effective, just because it's less usual and more iChukish! I do believe in always keeping to ones own way of telling a story -- not that you need me to tell you that!
This was skillful and creative storytelling as always, Chuk! Thanks so much for bringing it to my attention.
Dreamweaver
14-Sep-2010 02:07:04 - Last edited on 14-Sep-2010 02:14:09 by Dreamweaver
