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Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Wise Old Man: Sanae was expected to lose but she did technically outperform expectations. Democrats were supposed to win by 10% and won by 0.8% instead. Conservatives came out to vote for her even though she may be a RINO.

King Roald: Yeah, overall, this is a blackpill for conservatives and for the anime movement. They lost. It doesn't matter if they lose by 1 or by 10. A loss is a loss. Anything else is just copium (cope) and hopium (hope). Overall, Sanae did not resonate with voters the way she wanted to. Let's look at the normie index which are all of the votes excluding anime.

Homer Simpson - 2,207,392,103 (59.3%)
Sanae Kochiya - 1,511,941,710 (40.7%)

As you can see, it's easily Homer +18.7% (when the unrounded percentages are subtracted) which is not that bad but it's not good enough to win a general election.

Wise Old Man: Alright, let's hear Sanae's defeat speech.

~ Moriya Shrine, Gensokyo ~

Sanae: The time we spent together was cut short! BUT WE WILL RISE AGAIN!
I WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU! I'M NOT DONE YET! TOUHOU IS NOT DONE! WE WILL COME BACK! MAKE ANIME GREAT AGAIN! THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!

Crowd: SANAE! SANAE! SANAE!

King Roald: That was it. OK, now let's hear Homer's victory speech.

~ Springfield, USA ~

Homer: TOGETHER, WE ARE STRONGER TOGETHER! TOGETHER WE DID IT!
TODAY WE DEFEATED ANIME!

Crowd: HOMER! HOMER! HOMER!

Homer: NOW ENDS A DARK CHAPTER IN OUR HISTORY, AND THE BIRTH OF A NEW GOLDEN AGE! TOGETHER, WE WILL BUILD BACK BETTER! LET'S GO!

Crowd: BUILD BACK BETTER! BUILD BACK BETTER!

Wise Old Man: ...And that's your election night. Any thoughts on this?

King Roald: I mean, what do you do? You already promised health care. You already tried to fix the schools. Your people came out to vote. Like I said, this is a blackpill. Conservatives really have to go back to the drawing board...and maybe Sanae isn't the one moving forward.

02-Dec-2014 11:42:42 - Last edited on 24-Dec-2023 09:25:46 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Wise Old Man: If not her, then who else?

King Roald: I don't know. I have no idea what they can do. We'll just have to wait and see.
In the meantime, let's give Homer a chance here.

~ December 10, 2022 ~

~ Moriya Shrine, Gensokyo ~

Suwako: The Touhou Council has decided that you need to resign, Sanae. I really like you but we have to put feelings aside for the greater good.

Sanae: Tch, I can't believe this. You know you're not going to find anyone better than me.

Junko: I agree. I think we're just overreacting. We're getting votes, it's just not happening outside of anime.

Sanae: 40.7%...among normies. That's not good enough for you?

Suwako: It's not about what's good enough for us...it's about what's good enough for the normies.

Sanae: Just 1% more...

Suwako: Would've won you the popular vote, but it would not have won you the delegates. You were down big in every other multiverse except for Asian drama. Too many of our votes are concentrated in anime alone. We need to branch out here. We need a more normie-friendly candidate. You are just too extreme.

Sanae: I'm not even...*sigh* Never mind.

Junko: It doesn't matter what you are. It just matters what people think and as silly as this sounds, they think you are crazy.

~ December 11, 2022 ~

~ Sanae's Resignation Speech ~

Sanae: My fellow anime fans, friends across the multiverse...
I regret to inform you from the deepest of my heart that I am stepping down as your Conservative-Republican leader. It has been a great ride but unfortunately things did not pan out the way we intended. In the interest of the party, I am resigning from my position to allow an open Republican primary for the next election.

We accomplished so much together, and know that this is not the end but a new beginning. I will continue to serve within the party. Together, we will continue to make everything great again.

02-Dec-2014 11:42:47 - Last edited on 24-Dec-2023 09:42:06 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Sanae silently walks off the podium.

The crowd sighs and quietly exits the area.

Wise Old Man: What makes this undemocratic is that only Touhou had a say in this. No one else voted. So basically a few people decided what's best and everyone's just expected to go along with it.

King Roald: Yeah, I think this is a bad choice. They have no one else.

Wise Old Man: I think they're up to something. Touhou is not stupid. We will just have to wait and see...

TO BE CONTINUED...

02-Dec-2014 11:42:53 - Last edited on 24-Dec-2023 09:47:28 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Episode 19: Cryptomania


~ January 6, 2023 ~

Wise Old Man: Breaking news report. We're reporting from the Capitol Building where riots have broken out. People are trying to storm into the building to overthrow the government.

*SIRENS*
*FIRES*
*GLASS SHATTERS*

"VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!!!!!"
"ANIME FOREVER!"

Crowd: HOMER, GO HOME! HOMER, GO HOME!

*GUNFIRE*
*EXPLOSIONS*

King Roald: We have to evacuate. I've been told they're bringing in the tanks.

The Wise Old Man and King Roald head down to an underground bunker.

Wise Old Man: Allegations of voter fraud have apparently driven conservatives insane. Multiple cases are heading up to the courts of mail-in ballot harvesting. They're accusing Homer of making up fake ballots to win the election.

King Roald: It's just not going to work. Not enough evidence and you just look more crazy to normies.

~ January 10, 2023 ~

Wise Old Man: Over 9,000 arrests have been made and still counting. Thankfully, no one died. A violent insurrection to overthrow the government has finally been brought to an end. Let's hear Homer's speech on this.

~ Multiverse Government Capitol Building ~

Homer: We will not be intimidated by mere thugs trying to take us down. We will certainly not be distracted by these ridiculous and false allegations of voter fraud. I'm the rightfully elected president, and you just have to accept that. I will build this society back better, and rest assured, bring justice to the extremists.

~ Homer's Approval Rating ~

Approve: 51%
Disapprove: 45%
Approve +6

~ February 30, 2023 ~

Wise Old Man: The multiverse government is forced to withdraw their troops from the MMORPG lands. They have lost the war to 4chan trolls. This has caused a major crash of the entire stock market and people blame Homer for the loss...

~ Homer's Approval Rating ~

Approve: 48%
Disapprove: 47%
Approve +1

02-Dec-2014 11:42:59 - Last edited on 24-Dec-2023 10:06:01 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
~ March 20, 2023 ~

Wise Old Man: Double whammy. Another war has been broken out. This time it's against the goblin invasion in the anime multiverse. Homer has promised unlimited funding and troops to fight them off but it's causing massive inflation and debt.

King Roald: Disney's banks have collapsed. I repeat, Disney's banks are no more. People are withdrawing their cash in panic. Now, Homer Simpson's approval rating has dipped into the negative for the first time.

~ Homer's Approval Rating ~

Approve: 44%
Disapprove: 49%
Disapprove -5


~ Gensokyo Market ~

Chimata Tenkyuu announces a new currency that will solve the financial crisis.

Chimata: For too long, we've relied on paper fait currency which is overprinted out of value. The money printer turns on and you lose your wealth. It's bad enough that you're a tax slave to the government but now your money is worth nothing.

Fortunately, there is hope for you. A genius known as Satoshi Nakomoto has invented a brilliant new coin that will solve all of your problems. He's not from Touhou but that's fine.
It's Bitcoin! 21 million fixed supply. It can't be minted which means no new coins will ever be printed. It's a virtual coin that you can store in your wallet or online.

Buy Bitcoin today and get your free NFT (non-fungible token), which is a virtual trading card or image.

Person 1: What about other cryptocurrencies like Ethereum or Solana?

Chimata: Yeah, they don't come from Satoshi so be careful. Could be scam coins.

Person 2: BITCOIN IS WAY TOO EXPENSIVE! DOGECOIN IS BETTER! DOGE TO THE MOOOOOOOOON!

Chimata: Doge...? It's not even a real coin. It's a joke. You're going to get rug pulled. They're going to dump on you hard.

Person 3: HATER! STOP SPREADING FUD (FEAR, UNCERTAINTY, DOUBT)! YOU DON'T GET IT! DOGE IS THE CHOSEN ONE!

Person 4: Y'ALL STINK! SHIBA INU FOR THE WIN!

Chimata: Not financial advice, people. Fine, do what you want...

02-Dec-2014 11:43:04 - Last edited on 24-Dec-2023 10:21:31 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The Multiverse Federal Reserve is formed to counter the high inflation by raising the interest rates, which are the costs to borrow money. What makes it controversial is that Lex Luthor will be the head chairman.

~ March 25, 2023 ~

Lex: In response to 10% inflation happening across the universes, we are raising interest rates to 10%, effective immediately. We recognize the need for tight monetary policy and also the fact that people are suffering worldwide. We stand firm in our resolve to stop inflation at all costs.

Wise Old Man: Let's see how our stocks and crypto react...

~ Starting Numbers ~

Multiverse Stock Index: 10,000
Bitcoin: $10,000
Ethereum: $1,000
Solana: $100
Dogecoin: $0.01
Shiba Inu: $0.000001

~ Today's Numbers ~

Multiverse Stock Index: 7,776
(-2,224, -22.24%)

Bitcoin: $3,000
(-$7,000, -70%)

Ethereum: $310
(-$690, -69%)

Solana: $10
(-$90, -90%)

Dogecoin: $0.02
(+$0.01, +100%)

Shiba Inu: $0.00001
(+$0,000009, +900%)


Person 3: SEE?!!!?!? I TOLD YOU! DOGE IS THE WAY! DOGE IS LOVE, DOGE IS LIFE!

Person 4: SHIBA INU SUPER SAIYAN GAP UP OVER 9000%!!!!! TAKE ME TO $1.00$$$$$$$$$

Person 5: Everything's going to crash to zero. Didn't you get the memo?

Person 3: Bears coming out desperate today, I see.

Person 4: COVER YOUR SHORT POSITION!!! SHORT SQUEEZE INCOMING!!! :O

Person 6: I laugh at you delusional bulls. Dog coins are pump and dump scams. Lex Luthor is rug pulling all of you fools! I will short this whole market to the ground!

Person 7: ABC THEATRES FOR THE SQUEEZE! HOLD ON, APES! WE GOT THOSE HEDGE FUNDS!

Person 8: NO, STOP SPREADING FUD! GAMERHOP STORES ARE REAL THE SQUEEZE!

King Roald: Imagine trying to do some basic research and you get spammed by these trolls. Social media is a mess now that everyone thinks they're a genius.

02-Dec-2014 11:43:11 - Last edited on 24-Dec-2023 10:40:21 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Wise Old Man: The banking collapse and the interest rates will weigh down on stocks and crypto until they're over. Meme coins will go up for no reason. For all the crypto moon boys, be careful out there and always remember to take profits...

Person 4: OPEN YOUR SHORTS! I DARE YOU! 100X LEVERAGE ON THE 1 MINUTE CANDLES!

Person 6: Been there, done that.

Person 7: ABCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

Person 8: YO, GAMEJUMP IS JUMPING UP! SHE'S A RUNNER, SHE'S A TRACK STAR!

Person 5: We're all going to get rekt.

A wave of cryptomania sweeps the multiverses as people are desperate to overcome inflation and be able to buy food and maybe even a house. A lot of self-proclaimed geniuses even opened up streaming accounts on social media to pump up and dump their stocks and crypto on unsuspecting newbie investors.

Person 9: WHAT IS HAPPENING, MY HOMIES?!?!?! I'M STACKED ON DOGE! DOGE IS ABSOLUTELY MOOOOONING RIGHT NOW! BIG BUY ALERT TODAY! DOGE TO $1.00! YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!

Person 10: DOGE IS DIPPING! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! BUY THE DIP!

Person 9: LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE! LET'S GET RICH TOGETHER! ROCKET EMOJIS PEW PEW PEW!

Little did people know that it's only going to get worse from here...

TO BE CONTINUED...

02-Dec-2014 11:43:16 - Last edited on 25-Dec-2023 01:25:28 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
[Dark Music Plays]

The dark reaches of space are shown...

The music gradually builds up towards a climax.

- Episode 20: Anime Resurrection -


~ April 5, 2023 ~

~ Hidden Spaceship, Gensokyo Outer Space ~

It was not just a conspiracy theory. Touhou is indeed up to something. They made Sanae resign for a very specific reason none other than...

Suwako: We hired a team of the best scientists from around the multiverses for one purpose: To resurrect our one and only god, Reimu Hakurei.

Now, I had mixed feelings about this. You know well that I'm not a big fan of the Reimu...

...But desperate times call for desperate measures. There is no one out there who can convincingly and I mean CONVINCINGLY defeat Homer Simpson. Is it because normies can't handle anime, is it because we're too weird? Whatever!

It's time to bring Republicans back to form. What was once thought to be impossible will now become possible. It's time to bring our OG (original gangster) back.

Mouse Brain, what's our status report?

Brain: Yes, by some complex quantum physics calculations it is indeed theoretically possible to resurrect Reimu from her base DNA obtained from her hair strand in her shrine-

Suwako: Um, yeah, in plain English!

Pinky: WAIFU BROUGHT BACK BETTER, NARF!

Suwako: Not like that...but OK. Professor Yumemi?

Yumemi: Flux capacitators are fully operational. Nuclear fusion reactor stable.

Suwako: Ahem.

Yumemi: Yes, about that. Reimu's existence has been erased by Corona-Chan but we still have her DNA, which we can use to bring her back. However, bringing her memories and powers back is another story.

Brain: Can she inherit them back via the quantum realm?

Yumemi: Honestly, that's up to her. We can only bring back her physical form. The Reimu we know and love may never come back.

Remilia: Well, as long as we bring her back, that's the first step...

02-Dec-2014 11:43:27 - Last edited on 25-Dec-2023 02:04:24 by Divinity M

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