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Divinity M

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Lex: I will take away the guns. We can't have innocent people dying because Joe forgot to put the safety on the gun.

Reimu: I will protect gun rights. Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Maybe in the future, robots will kill people. My point is that we can't blame an inanimate object for the will of people. That's like blaming fictional Japanese cartoons and video games for toxic men!

Deadpool: Border security.

Reimu: No more illegal immigrants. They're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime. I will build a wall, if necessary, for some universes to keep them out.

It will probably not be a physical wall. It will be a spiritual barrier, just like the Hakurei barrier that I already set up in Gensokyo to keep the demons out.

Mario: I don't support a full barrier, but I do support some form of border protection.

Ash: It really depends on the situation.

~ Closing Statement Highlights ~

Laura: On Super Tuesday, let's take out the trash.

Reimu: I need as many delegates as possible. It's the only way for me to win. Anything else, and the will of the people will be ignored. The establishment will decide the winner and you know how much they hate us! I've been there for you in the Touhou games and in the fanmade anime. Now I need you.

Can you please vote for me tonight?

Deadpool: ALRIGHT, THAT CONCLUDES THIS EPIC DEBATE!!! HOPEFULLY WE SEE YOU NEXT TIME!!!! DON'T FORGET TO VOTE ON SUPER AWESOME TUESDAY!!!!!

*APPLAUSE*

~ March 2, 2020 ~

12:00 PM

Quizmaster: Welcome to the RuneScape News Network. We will live stream the Super Tuesday results all night long, and post the final results.

Wise Old Man: I think Reimu's going to win this. The 4chan community is furious. This whole impeachment trial has stirred them up in way like never before.

4chan is very big community. They're not normally into politics, so this is first time that we'll see them really get involved.

28-Nov-2014 14:32:11 - Last edited on 28-Mar-2020 01:50:51 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

King Roald: It's not just 4chan. Reddit, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram...every anime character and anime supporter in existence is coming out to vote. There are anime fans in every universe and for the first time they're all going to vote.

Wise Old Man: Not all of them. But about 90% of them. And it's not just them. People who support freedom of speech will come out to vote. That includes Marvel and DC fans, video gamers, and people in general. The only question is, will it be enough to propel Reimu to prevent a brokered convention?

She needs to win so the establishment has no choice but to declare her the nominee. She would obviously lose a brokered convention that the establishment controls.

King Roald: What about the Democratic-Liberals?

Wise Old Man: I'm still not sure. It's going to be either Homer Simpson or Santa Claus. They both have name recognition. The only difference is that Santa is more popular among poor people. I think the establishment is backing Homer.

Sorry, Guthix, but you just don't have enough votes. Winning RuneScape is not enough. You had to win many universes, and the Pokémon primary showed us that only RuneScape supports you.

Quizmaster: Breaking news.

~ Conservative-Republican Candidate Drop Outs ~

Candidate (donors, campaign money left, date, endorsement)

Ash Ketchum (10,300,000 donors, $0, March 2, Reimu Hakurei)
Mario (12,500,000 donors, $0, March 2, Reimu Hakurei)
Misaka Mikoto (10,300,000 donors, $0, March 2, Reimu Hakurei)

Quizmaster: We brought Misaka here to discuss her difficult decision.

Misaka: I am suspending my campaign. I thank all of my fans and their support.
This was a tough decision, but a necessary one. Running out of money was not the only reason. I had to drop out in response to the establishment move to deny us a fair election.

28-Nov-2014 14:32:44 - Last edited on 28-Mar-2020 01:53:05 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

I had to drop out to avoid splitting the anime vote. In a normal election, of course we shouldn't be working together, but this is obviously not a normal election, and if you watch the debates, you can see why.

I am good friends with Marisa Kirisame. She has shown me what anime Touhou populism has to offer. It brings back our humanity. It is freedom. Since we agree on most of the issues, it makes sense to support them. I wish Reimu Hakurei and the Touhou Project all the best moving forward. Thank you again, and I look forward to providing you with great anime content.

Wise Old Man: Given what has happened, I don't think anyone blames you. Besides, you had no money left anyways, so you might as well pull the plug now instead of waiting until you're in debt.

~ March 4, 2020 ~

12:30 AM

Wise Old Man: We have some final results.

Candidate - Delegates - Votes

Fortnite Caucus - 100 delegates

- Democratic-Liberal -

Santa Claus (Independent) - 50 - 1,117 (47.6%)

Homer Simpson - 50 - 1,115 (47.5%)
All Others - 0 - 113 (4.8%)

- Conservative-Republican -

Reimu Hakurei - 100 - 2,000 (98.9%)

All Others - 0 - 22 (1.1%)

Minecraft Caucus - 100 delegates

- Democratic-Liberal -

Santa Claus (Independent) - 71 - 2,400 (69.55%)

Homer Simpson - 29 - 999 (28.95%)
All Others - 0 - 52 (1.5%)

- Conservative-Republican -

Reimu Hakurei - 100 - 1,550 (94.1%)

All Others - 0 - 97 (5.9%)

League of Legends Caucus - 60 delegates

- Democratic-Liberal -

Santa Claus (Independent) - 51 - 5,431 (83.1%)

Homer Simpson - 9 - 1,007 (15.4%)
All Others - 0 - 101 (1.5%)

- Conservative-Republican -

Reimu Hakurei - 60 - 3,125 (99.0%)

All Others - 0 - 30 (1.0%)

28-Nov-2014 14:33:58 - Last edited on 28-Mar-2020 02:06:05 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

World of Warcraft Caucus - 60 delegates

- Democratic-Liberal -

Santa Claus (Independent) - 32 - 2,879 (41.9%)

Guthix (Independent) - 28 - 2,566 (37.3%)
All Others - 0 - 1,432 (20.8%)

- Conservative-Republican -

Reimu Hakurei - 60 - 5,116 (99.5%)

All Others - 0 - 25 (0.5%)

Undertale Primary - 3 delegates

- Democratic-Liberal -

Santa Claus (Independent) - 3 - 352,113 (93.6%)

Guthix (Independent) - 0 - 16,008 (4.3%)
All Others - 0 - 8,077 (2.1%)

- Conservative-Republican -

Sans - 2 - 308,108 (74.9%)

Reimu Hakurei - 1 - 100,100 (24.3%)
All Others - 0 - 3,122 (0.8%)

MapleStory Primary - 1 delegate

- Democratic-Liberal -

Guthix (Independent) - 1 - 27,200 (97.74%)

Santa Claus (Independent) - 0 - 534 (1.92%)
All Others - 0 - 95 (0.34%)

- Conservative-Republican -

Reimu Hakurei - 1 - 28,324 (99.6%)

All Others - 0 - 112 (0.4%)

Independent Comic Books and Western Games Primary - 1 delegate

- Democratic-Liberal -

Guthix (Independent) - 1 - 108 (100%)

All Others - 0 - 0 (0%)

- Conservative-Republican -

Reimu Hakurei - 1 - 96 (100%)

All Others - 0 - 0 (0%)

Wise Old Man: Voter turnout is way up in all places except for the independent comics and western games. They're not really interested in politics so they almost never come out to vote. So far, Reimu is winning. Sans was expected to win his home universe. Santa is winning. Guthix is winning in places that are related to RuneScape.

King Roald: We expect some more drop outs after all of the votes are counted. We're still waiting for 3 big universes.

Wise Old Man: Thank you for watching our Super Tuesday live stream!

- END OF EPISODE 7 -

28-Nov-2014 14:34:05 - Last edited on 28-Mar-2020 02:46:15 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Episode 8: Primary Evolution

~ March 5, 2020 ~

10:00 AM

Guthix has taken a private plane to Wuhan, China, to investigate the coronavirus. He spent 2 weeks collecting samples of the coronavirus and interviewing the local people. Using the data that was given to him by Rick and Morty, he manages to locate a chef in his apartment.

*knocks on door*

Chef: Who is it?

Guthix: Oh, you speak English? Very good. I need to speak to you. It's really important.

Chef: I need to be quarantined. I can't let you in.

Guthix: Do you have Internet? We can use video chat.

Chef: Yeah. But why?

Guthix: It's about the virus. I'm looking for the source. This is important to save the world.

Chef: Fine. Your name?

Guthix: Run3scape101. With a 3.

Chef: I got it.

Guthix: I need you to download VideoChat Secret for me. Here's the USB drive for it. It lets us communicate without the government knowing about it.

Guthix sits in the lobby with his laptop open. He starts a video chat with the chef.

Guthix: Can you hear me OK?

Chef: I got you.

Guthix: When did it start? My intel says the coronavirus broke out from your restaurant. You cooked bat soup?

Chef: Yes. But I always made sure it was well cooked. Not raw.

Guthix: But when did it start?

Chef: Umm...New Year, I think. Really busy day. Worked from 8 AM to 2 PM. And after that, the first case came out.

Guthix: Did you notice anything strange during that night?

Chef: Umm...No, honestly, no.

Guthix: Are you sure? Before? After?

Chef: I mean, everything was normal until the first case came out.

Guthix: *sighs* Thank you for your tim-

Chef: Wait. Yes. There was one thing. I almost forgot. It's really fuzzy...

The chef groans.

Chef: Ow, my head really hurts...

On my way to work. I felt really dizzy, and then I passed out on the street.

Guthix: And?

Chef: That's it. I got back up.

Guthix: Can you give me a blood sample of yourself?

28-Nov-2014 14:34:25 - Last edited on 08-Apr-2020 06:26:22 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Chef: Why?

Guthix: It's important. Your blood might hold a clue.

Chef: Fine.

11:30 AM

Guthix: Hand me the USB drive and your blood sample.

The chef drops them outside his apartment door.

Guthix: Thank you.

Chef: Are you with the government?

Guthix: No, I am a friend.

Guthix then sneaks out the back door and manages to sneak into a secret underground lab.

Scientist 1: Hey, buddy.

Guthix: Here's some more stuff to analyze.

Scientist 2: Any leads yet?

Guthix: No.

Scientist 1: He tests positive for coronavirus.

Guthix: Anything else?

Scientist 3: Nothing. It's just a regular virus. I don't know what you're looking for.

Guthix: Proof that it's something else.

Scientist 1: We've been here for 2 weeks. As much as I want to believe that this is something extraordinary, I just can't. We've seen enough. Can we go home before we actually get sick?

Guthix: He passed out before he got the virus. That's not normal. And remember, about the same time, the Space Station glitched out!

Scientist 3: But these are just random events. They don't mean anything.

Scientist 2: This is just an overrated virus. I'm sure Rick and Morty's computer just glitched.

Guthix thinks about it for a moment.

Guthix: OK, one more night. Then we're outta here! The incubation period for this virus is 2 weeks anyways, so we might as well test ourselves again before we go.

Sorry, Rick and Morty, it's a nothing burger after all.

3:00 AM

Guthix and the scientists are fast asleep. Suddenly, they hear a strange noise.

Guthix: Check the mice!

The scientists turn on the lights to find the lab mice acting weird. The mice are hissing and scratching the glass.

Guthix: What did you do?

Scientist 1: I injected the coronavirus into them 2 weeks ago.

Scientist 2: But shouldn't it only affect humans?

Scientist 3: Why didn't you tell us?!?!

Scientist 1: I forgot!

Guthix: Get a camera! This could be it!

28-Nov-2014 14:34:36 - Last edited on 28-Mar-2020 03:44:29 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Scientist 1 starts recording the event.

Guthix: Don't open it!

The mice start attacking each other. Soon, only one mouse is alive. That mouse behaves like some sort of zombie by eating the other mice. It then tries to attack the scientists by jumping onto the glass.

Scientist 2: It'll break soon! Should I kill it?

Guthix: Wait!

- 5 seconds later -

Guthix: Yes!

Scientist 2 presses a button to take the oxygen out of the container. After a minute, the mouse dies.

Guthix: Take its blood sample. Still think it's just another virus?

Scientist 3: This makes no sense. If this is true, then the humans should be zombies right now.

Guthix: Maybe it works faster with mice. Anyways, let's pack up and go. We have the evidence now.

8:00 AM

The team finishes packing up.

Guthix: Just burn anything we can't bring.

They travel through the sewers to the outskirts of the city. While they're in the sewers, an army of rats suddenly attack them.

Guthix: GO GO GO!

Guthix takes out a flamethrower to defend the team. They are forced to climb up to the streets.

Scientist 1: Are they still there?

Guthix: No! Just keep going! Get into the alleys!

The team steals a car to drive out of the city. They notice a few bats surrounding them.

Scientist 2: What is this? Some kind of movie?

The bats try to attack the car, but they manage to dodge them. Since the streets are empty, they can drive as fast as they want. After a few minutes, the bats leave.

Guthix: I've uploaded this onto the Internet. Even if we die, the evidence lives!

*SIRENS*

Scientist 2: The road ends up ahead. We're going to have to go into the woods!

The team runs into the woods before the police cars arrive.

Guthix: OK, Rick. We've done our job. Now it's your turn.

~ March 8, 2020 ~

Wise Old Man: The results for the Disney multiverse are still delayed. We do have the results for the Marvel & DC multiverse and the western cartoon multiverse.

28-Nov-2014 14:35:31 - Last edited on 28-Mar-2020 05:40:00 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

5:00 PM

Candidate - Delegates - Votes

Marvel & DC Multiverse Primary - 1500 delegates

- Democratic-Liberal -

Homer Simpson - 580 - 60,974,626 (31.8%)

Santa Claus (Independent) - 462 - 48,373,231 (25.3%)
Superman - 458 - 47,991,101 (25.1%)
All Others - 0 - 34,107,500 (17.8%)

- Conservative-Republican -

Reimu Hakurei - 1180 - 100,000,174 (69.0%)

Lex Luthor - 320 - 27,177,453 (18.7%)
All Others - 0 - 17,800,123 (12.3%)

Western Cartoon Multiverse Primary - 1050 delegates

- Democratic-Liberal -

Homer Simpson - 760 - 89,234,567 (69.46%)

Santa Claus (Independent) - 290 - 34,114,500 (26.56%)
All Others - 0 - 5,117,899 (3.98%)

- Conservative-Republican -

Reimu Hakurei - 1050 - 79,127,404 (73.6%)

Lex Luthor - 0 - 14,567,101 (13.6%)
All Others - 0 - 13,789,102 (12.8%)

Wise Old Man: One important thing to notice is that Seto Kaiba's advertising did not pay off. He spent billions on TV ads in these universes in an attempt to buy the election, and he couldn't even get 1 delegate. Guthix has basically been eliminated. Reimu shut down Lex in the Western Cartoon Multiverse Primary.

King Roald: People are complaining on social media about the Disney results. They think that there is a conspiracy against Santa Claus.

Wise Old Man: Reimu is winning because only villains like Lex Luthor. He is just not a relatable guy. Laura is obviously just there to attack Reimu, and Sans didn't campaign outside of Undertale. He had money issues. And you need at least 15% of the vote to be eligible for delegates. At 13.6%, Lex gets 0.

~ March 9, 2020 ~

Wise Old Man: We finally have the results for Disney.

9:00 PM

Disney Multiverse Primary - 1500 delegates

- Democratic-Liberal -

Homer Simpson - 450 - 42,179,181 (25.6%)

Santa Claus (Independent) - 429 - 40,188,181 (24.4%)
Superman - 354 - 33,173,500 (20.1%)
Seto Kaiba - 267 - 25,107,156 (15.2%)
All Others - 0 - 24,167,321 (14.7%)

28-Nov-2014 14:35:38 - Last edited on 28-Mar-2020 06:42:20 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

- Conservative-Republican -

Reimu Hakurei - 960 - 50,143,707 (53.66%)

Lex Luthor - 540 - 28,189,909 (30.17%)
All Others - 0 - 15,107,476 (16.17%)

~ Democratic-Liberal Candidate Drop Outs ~

Candidate (donors, campaign money left, date, endorsement)

Darkseid (12,500,000 donors, $55,000, March 9, Homer Simpson)
Eric Cartman (1,600,000 donors, $0, March 9, Homer Simpson)
Haruhi Suzumiya (2,500,000 donors, $0, March 9, no endorsement)
Seto Kaiba (0 donors, $0, March 9, no endorsement)
SpongeBob SquarePants (10,010,000 donors, $0, March 9, no endorsement)
Superman (20,000,000 donors, $0, March 9, Homer Simpson)

Wise Old Man: Just because you have a lot of donors doesn't mean you have a lot of campaign money. Most people only donate one cent. Campaigning across multiple universes is very expensive, since you have to rent many different places. The budget burns out very quickly.

King Roald: Thank you for watching our live stream. We hope Guthix can improve the score at least. We don't think he can win at this point.

9:30 PM

At the Multiverse League Headquarters, the Chairman calls Superman.

Chairman: This is the chairman of the Democratic-Liberal Committee. You need to drop out now.

Superman: Why? I can still keep going. I have a lot of support-

Chairman: We have already chosen Homer Simpson as our nominee. You would be just splitting the vote. Please consider this for the greater good. You are only helping Santa Claus at this point. If you refuse, we can pull your bank account out.

Superman: Fine. I'll drop out.

~ March 10, 2020 ~

9:00 PM

Wise Old Man: Thank you for tuning in to our channel. No results are available at this time.
Super Tuesday II has just happened. We have a special interview with Yukari Yakumo, Reimui's campaign manager. So tell us, Yukari, how did you do it? How did you get so many votes?

Yukari: It's not just what I did.

28-Nov-2014 14:36:10 - Last edited on 28-Mar-2020 21:48:51 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

The impeachment trial really brought out the anime and gaming community to vote. We have a lot of Touhou fans, but they don't normally get involved in politics. This trial has pushed them out of their comfort zone, and into the voting booths. They felt that they had no choice, but to come out and defend the things they love.

Wise Old Man: So the trial had the opposite of its intended effect?

Yukari: The trial was supposed to bring anime down. At least, that's what they thought. Instead, it lifted anime up. Way up.

Wise Old Man: A lot of people are impressed by Reimu's debate performances. What was the strategy that you gave to her?

Yukari: There was no strategy. I just told Reimu to be herself and to keep it real. And, well, this is her personality. She loves to talk back. Honestly, I was surprised myself when she raised her hand on that nominee question.

Wise Old Man: She refuses to support anyone but herself.

Yukari: No point in bowing down to the establishment. I think it's so unfair, the way the establishment has handled these debates.

~ March 13, 2020 ~

5:00 PM

Wise Old Man: The results had to be released before the fifth round of debates.

Bollywood Multiverse Primary - 3000 delegates

- Democratic-Liberal -

Santa Claus (Independent) - 1744 - 137,808,330 (47.85%)

Homer Simpson - 1256 - 99,184,677 (34.44%)
All Others - 0 - 51,009,002 (17.71%)

- Conservative-Republican -

Reimu Hakurei - 2415 - 152,008,111 (69.4%)

Lex Luthor - 585 - 36,789,010 (16.8%)
All Others - 0 - 30,166,500 (13.8%)

International Film (African, Australian, European, South American) Multiverse Primary - 2100 delegates

- Democratic-Liberal -

Homer Simpson - 1369 - 75,162,580 (62.4%)

Santa Claus (Independent) - 731 - 40,109,566 (33.3%)
All Others - 0 - 5,134,787 (4.3%)

28-Nov-2014 14:37:22 - Last edited on 28-Mar-2020 22:23:54 by Divinity M

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