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Divinity M

Divinity M

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Episode 7: Super Stupid Tuesday!


~ February 13, 2020 ~

2:00 PM

Superman and others are gathered in the Multiverse League Headquarters conference room for an emergency meeting.

Rick: The virus is spreading at an alarming rate. Even if it is just a virus, it could end our existence anyways.

Morty: People will stop writing stories about us in the worst case scenario. We need their imagination to stay alive.

Zeus: If the real world dies, that's their problem. Why can't we just break the link with them? Live on without them?

Rick: We could. If we changed ourselves in a way that no human has imagined.

Morty: We would prefer not to do that.

Zeus: Let them die. Viruses happen all the time. And it'll only get worse as their technology gets worse. I say we cut ties while we can and live our own lives.

Deadpool: I honestly agree. It's too much trouble for us to intervene. Once we enter the real world, there's no turning back. Everything will be a mess. The humans need to figure themselves out.

Zeus: Until this virus affects us directly, in our universes, it is not our problem. And since it's a real world virus, that will never happen. This virus is basically the Spanish Flu all over again anyways. I'm sure the humans will find some way to survive it. They survived the Spanish Flu.

Guthix: That's really selfish. We need to try to help them.

Superman: OK, you go help them. Then what? When the next war happens, are you going to help them again? Are you going to help them clean their laundry while you're at it? My point is that, once you help them, they'll ask you for help again and again.

Zeus: This virus is a nothing burger. For us, it is. For the real world, it's a problem.

Goku: I have to go with Zeus. We can't bail humans out every time. This is not a world ender. This is just another virus.

Rick: The data do not lie. The anomaly does not belong to the real world!

28-Nov-2014 14:27:07 - Last edited on 29-Mar-2020 03:32:29 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Superman: Well, you don't know everything in the real world, right? So, maybe you just picked up something you don't know. That doesn't mean it's the end of the world.

Morty: I have checked the data 10 times. It does not match any real world energy signature.

Zeus: That could just be the computer. Look, we're not trying to ignore you. We want to believe you. But you need more evidence than just one blip.

Superman: You need to prove to us that this is not a virus. That this is something more. Maybe even that thing that tried to kill us all 2 years ago.

Zeus: But until then, we're not going to sound the alarm and go into full panic mode.

Morty: The news will just say it's a virus. I need someone to go into the real world and actually physically check it out!

Guthix: I'll go.

Goku: But your campaign?

Guthix: Some things are just more important than mere politics. If there's a chance that he could be right, we have to look at it. I'll do it.

Morty: I have managed to create a portal. It was really hard, but we found a way. The back door is the Internet.

Rick: If we could do it in 1 month, then so could the villain.

Morty: We can upload your mind to the Internet, and then have your mind downloaded into a human in the real world.

Guthix: So I'm not physically going into the real world.

Rick: Yes, you will have no magical powers out there.

Morty: We don't think the villain used this method to get into the real world. We think the villain went through a portal so no power is lost.

Guthix: So the villain could kill me and I can't defend myself. Great.

Rick: If that anomaly is the villain. It could be anything. You just need to check. We really hope this is a nothing burger.

Batman: Chances are, it's a random alien. I'm pretty sure.

Rick: We've been communicating with humans in the real world. They'll have someone ready for you to possess in America.

28-Nov-2014 14:28:54 - Last edited on 27-Mar-2020 06:11:39 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Morty: We'll give you a cellphone and special tools in the real world. The anomaly is located somewhere in China.

Guthix: The same place where the virus broke out. Do I need to drop my campaign?

Rick: No. People would get suspicious. Keep your campaign running, have a friend run on your behalf.

Superman: You can't tell anyone about this. That goes for all of you.

Deadpool: But we can't have the real world primaries if this coronavirus gets serious. It might be better to cancel them, since China is already under lockdown.

Superman: Unfortunately, we might have to do that. I will talk to the committees.

Guthix's mind is transferred over the real world.

~ February 14, 2020 ~

Chairman: So that's the deal. It looks like the real world primaries may be cancelled.

Lex: Given the disaster known as the impeachment vote, I suddenly care about this coronavirus thing. I'm glad that the Multiverse League has decided to execute Plan Z for us!
Indeed, we can use this to our advantage. You can't get delegates if there are no elections.

You can't win the game if you can't play the game.

We'll force a brokered convention where I will be nominated as the Conservative-Republican Presidential Candidate. Checkmate, Reimu. This is almost too easy. Thanks, Superman! You people are too stupid!

Chairman: So what do I do?

Lex: It looks like our work has already been done for us. We just need to act natural, and pretend this is all just a bunch of unfortunate random events stacked up against the anime weeaboos. Of course, we might want to destroy the evidence.

~ February 15, 2020 ~

Wise Old Man: Every poll opens from 8 AM and closes at 8 PM. Results are available at 9 PM. Depending on how many voters there are, it could take days for the final results to be made.

10:00 PM

Candidate - Delegates - Votes

RuneScape 3 Caucus - 1 delegate

- Democratic-Liberal -

Guthix (Independent) - 1 - 3,310 (94.3%)

28-Nov-2014 14:29:01 - Last edited on 27-Mar-2020 20:16:51 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Homer Simpson - 0 - 121 (3.4%)
All Others - 0 - 79 (2.3%)

Old School RuneScape Primary - 2 delegates

Guthix (Independent) - 2 - 344,117 (92.7%)

Santa Claus (Independent) - 0 - 15,780 (4.3%)
All Others - 0 - 11,200 (3.0%)

- Conservative-Republican -

RuneScape 3 Caucus - 1 delegate

Reimu Hakurei - 1 - 2,879 (77.2%)

Natsumi - 0 - 725 (19.4%)
All Others - 0 - 125 (3.4%)

Old School RuneScape Primary - 2 delegates

Reimu Hakurei - 2 - 301,736 (85.5%)

Natsumi - 0 - 23,512 (6.7%)
Misaka Mikoto (Independent) - 0 - 23,108 (6.5%)
All Others - 0 - 4,670 (1.3%)

Wise Old Man: Guthix was obviously going to win this one. The big surprise is Reimu overperforming at the polls. The online poll had her at 40% and she is way over that!

King Roald: Is it just a fluke or is this for real? We need to see more polls to find out.

~ February 25, 2020 ~

The final results for the Pokémon Universe Primary are now available. It took 3 days to count the votes.

10:00 PM

Candidate - Delegates - Votes

Pokémon Universe Primary - 300 delegates

- Democratic-Liberal -

Homer Simpson - 155 - 16,756,114 (48.6%)

Santa Claus (Independent) - 145 - 15,678,123 (45.5%)
All Others - 0 - 2,045,011 (5.9%)

- Conservative-Republican -

Reimu Hakurei - 150 - 17,034,051 (42.8%)

Ash Ketchum (Independent) - 150 - 17,031,799 (42.8%)
All Others - 0 - 5,750,111 (14.4%)

Wise Old Man: A recount was done for Ash and Reimu. This is a bad night for Ash, since he lost the popular vote in his home universe. As you can see, every universe is different. Guthix may have won RuneScape, but he didn't show up in Pokémon.

King Roald: People voted for him. It just wasn't enough to make a difference.

~ Conservative-Republican Candidate Drop Outs ~

Candidate (donors, campaign money left, date, endorsement)

Monkey D. Luffy (3,100,000 donors, $0, February 25, Reimu Hakurei)

28-Nov-2014 14:29:07 - Last edited on 27-Mar-2020 21:52:09 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Natsumi (11,000,000 donors, $0, February 26, Reimu Hakurei)

Natsumi: Honestly, it's pointless to continue. The people have made up their minds already. It is a waste of time to keep campaigning. The other candidates will soon find themselves in debt without rewards if they do not drop out now.

~ February 29, 2020 ~

5:00 PM

Deadpool: IT IS SHOWTIME!!!!!!!! TIME NOW FOR THE DEMOCRATIC-LIBERAL DEBATE NUMBER 4!!!!!!!!!!

Jimmy: YOUR EPIC LINEUP!!! BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE PEOPLE!!!

Santa Claus (98,000,000 donors) (Independent)
Superman (20,000,000 donors)
Homer Simpson (14,000,000 donors)
Darkseid (12,500,000 donors)
Junko Enoshima (10,300,000 donors)

Shuang Guo (10,200,000 donors)
Empress Long Cheng (10,200,000 donors)
SpongeBob SquarePants (10,010,000 donors)
Seto Kaiba (0 donors)

AND A SPECIAL SHOUT-OUT TO THE GOOD PEOPLE WHO COULDN'T BE HERE WITH US TONIGHT!!!

Guthix (12,000,000 donors) (Independent)
Haruhi Suzumiya (2,500,000 donors)
Eric Cartman (1,600,000 donors)

Deadpool: Important announcement from the Multiverse League. All elections in the real world are cancelled due to the coronavirus outbreak. I repeat, all real world elections are cancelled. We don't know if we can have the general presidential election in the real world yet. You are not allowed to campaign in the real world in any form. This includes online campaigning on social media.

Jimmy: So Super Tuesday IV is cancelled. The 3 Super Tuesdays will decide the nominee. In about 4 weeks, the nominee will be declared.

Deadpool: For the Democratic-Liberals, whoever has the most delegates at the end wins. You do not need to get 18,823 delegates anymore.

Jimmy: Debate #6 is cancelled. Debate #5 could be the last one. If you have anything important to say, make sure you say it now before Super Tuesday.

~ Opening Statement Highlights ~

Santa Claus: I've already said what I needed to say.

28-Nov-2014 14:29:14 - Last edited on 28-Mar-2020 01:46:36 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
This is 2020. This is a major year. This cannot be just another normal election.
It is clear that the Old World is failing humanity. It is time for the New World.
If you are not here for the revolution, then you are wasting your time and our time.
I don't want to debate you.

I am here for real change, the likes of which you've never seen before.

Homer: People want results, not a revolution. I am here to restore the world back to normal. The world has gone crazy. I'm here to bring it back.

~ Anime and Video Games Impeachment Debate Highlights ~

Santa Claus: I voted to impeach anime and video games on the grounds of toxic masculinity. Now, we all have our different opinions here, but the fact remains. There are too many bad men out there to justify protecting the good men. The anime and gaming communities need to be reformed before we can just let them wander freely.

Shuang: I agree that they are toxic, but I don't think we should impeach them. I saw a poll on the news yesterday. Approval ratings for anime and video games are way up.

Impeachment did not stop them. It made them stronger.

Anime and manga sales are through the roof. Record turnout at the stores. 3 hour lineups just to buy the Railgun manga.

Look, Reimu is not the problem. She is a symptom of the problem. Unless we address the root cause, anime and video games will always be toxic.

Deadpool: And what is the root cause?

Shuang: The education system. We'll get to that later.

~ Economy Debate Highlights ~

Long Cheng: Shuang thinks money grows on the trees in the gardens of billionaires. It's really stupid, and it's not going to work.

Santa Claus: Wouldn't you agree that the billionaires aren't paying their fair share of taxes?

Seto Kaiba: I'm already paying my taxes!

~ Health Care Debate Highlights ~

Superman: We can have private and public health care.

Santa Claus: Wouldn't you agree that health care is a human right?

28-Nov-2014 14:29:39 - Last edited on 27-Mar-2020 22:41:34 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Superman: Yeah, but what you're proposing is too radical-

Santa Claus: WHAT'S SO RADICAL ABOUT BASIC HUMAN DECENCY?
ABOUT CREATING A FAIR SOCIETY FOR EVERYONE?!?! YOU TELL ME!!!
WHAT'S SO RADICAL ABOUT GIVING PEOPLE WHAT THEY SHOULD HAVE IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!

~ Education Debate Highlights ~

Shuang: For the root cause, it's the education system. Toxic males are born from toxic schools. We don't teach them manners, we don't teach them respect. The schools are a mess. A lot of high schools are vandalized by street gangs. Bullying happens every day. The teachers just collect their paycheques and don't care about their students.

When the male students graduate, they don't remember the math equations their teachers just glossed over. They remember the times when they were beaten up. When Billy smacked them in the head for forgetting their lunch money. When Tom made them do his homework. When Matt set the gym on fire.

In university, they fall into debt and despair. They take courses they don't understand with useless professors, fail these courses, and then fail them again. Even if they do graduate, they get no jobs.

Broke. Homeless. Hopeless.

Society failed me. I hate society. I hate you all.

But then I found 4chan. Anime. Video games. A chance for payback. A chance for revenge. I am inspired by the toxic male protagonists in anime and video games. I want to get revenge on my enemies and dominate them. I want to become a toxic male.

Long Cheng: Cool story, sis. But as usual, you have no evidence to back it up. And who said all anime fans had to be men?

~ Special Topic Debate Highlights ~

Deadpool: Did you sort out your little issue with Santa?

Junko: Yeah, he apologized to me. It's all good.

SpongeBob: I am the only one here who will take climate change seriously.

Darkseid: Not true. The climate is very personal to me. I want to switch us over to electric cars.

28-Nov-2014 14:30:12 - Last edited on 27-Mar-2020 22:58:26 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Homer: We need clean energy. I will get us off oil and gas.

Deadpool: Let's talk about gun violence.

Homer: It's simple. Ban all the guns. The fact is, gun violence is responsible for the deaths of 50% of the human population. A lot of people died due to guns.

Santa: I am proud to be hated by the gun owner community. I will ban guns and make our society safer.

Darkseid: I think that a lot of toxic males on 4chan wield guns. The same guys who watch anime also carry guns. We should look into that.

Deadpool: Border security.

Homer: If you are an immigrant, I will let you in. You are a dreamer, not an animal to be locked up in a cage and deported.

Superman: Unless they have committed a serious crime, we should just let them into the country.

~ Closing Statement Highlights ~

Santa: Please join my movement if you want real change. It is clear that everyone else is just more of the same.

Homer: I am confident in Super Tuesday. Just remember, 1 out of every 1 person will experience conservative violence at some point in their lives.

Deadpool: THAT'S OUR DEBATE! DON'T FORGET TO GO OUT AND VOTE ON SUPER AWESOME TUESDAY!!!!

*APPLAUSE*

~ March 1, 2020 ~

5:00 PM

Deadpool: ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE?!?!?! IT'S TIME FOR ROUND 4 OF THE CONSERVATIVE-REPUBLICAN DEBATE!!!

Jimmy: OUR STARTING LINEUP BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE PEOPLE!!!!!

Reimu Hakurei (155,000,000 donors)
Lex Luthor (13,000,000 donors)
Mario (12,500,000 donors)
Misaka Mikoto (10,300,000 donors) (Independent)
Ash Ketchum (10,300,000 donors) (Independent)

Laura Stuart (0 donors)

Shout-out to Sans (2,200,000 donors) who couldn't be here for the party.

Deadpool: Important announcement from the Multiverse League. All elections in the real world are cancelled due to the coronavirus outbreak. I repeat, all real world elections are cancelled. We don't know if we can have the general presidential election in the real world yet. You are not allowed to campaign in the real world in any form.

28-Nov-2014 14:30:44 - Last edited on 27-Mar-2020 23:49:17 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
This includes online campaigning on social media.

Jimmy: So Super Tuesday IV is cancelled. The 3 Super Tuesdays will decide the nominee. In about 4 weeks, the nominee will be declared.

Deadpool: For the Conservative-Republicans, we haven't decided on how the nominee will be chosen. The committee will decide after they look at the Super Tuesday results.
You do not need to get 18,823 delegates anymore.

Jimmy: Debate #6 is cancelled. Debate #5 could be the last one. If you have anything important to say, make sure you say it now before Super Tuesday.

~ Opening Statement Highlights ~

Reimu: You've seen the man-hating in the Democratic-Liberal debates and in the impeachment trial. It is clear that I am the only candidate who will stand up for the dignity of men. I am the only one who believes in true equality, and I have the momentum that is required to claim the nomination.

Laura: It is clear that we need to elect a true conservative, and not someone who will shill (take money from) for the anime industry.

~ Anime and Video Games Impeachment Debate Highlights ~

Laura: Anime is trash. The weebs who support it are trash. Reimu, you are trash. You should just drop out right now if you really care about the dignity of men and women. You are corrupting our precious society. Memes on 4chan have skyrocketed since you first entered the race. And as this circus goes on, it will only get worse...for women.

Reimu: We had a trial. It's over. We voted against impeachment. You lost. Get over it.

Laura: The only reason you won was because your alt-right buddies backed you up. This is a right-wing power play.

Reimu: Aren't you supposed to be a conservative? Anyways, the only reason it passed the House was because the Democrats voted for it. Look, we had more independents vote in our favour than them.

Laura: They're not real independents. They're anime characters. They're biased.

28-Nov-2014 14:31:19 - Last edited on 28-Mar-2020 01:49:51 by Divinity M

Divinity M

Divinity M

Posts: 3,032 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Reimu: I have endorsements from non-anime characters as well. The voter turnout for me in RuneScape was very strong.

Laura: Hank Hill voted against you.

Reimu: Only on the first article.

Deadpool: I'm going to have to break this up. We need to move on.

Reimu: Look, anime and video games did nothing wrong. That's my point.

~ Economy Debate Highlights ~

Lex: I have a plan to bring back jobs. It's on my website.

Reimu: I read it. It stinks.

Lex: The mindless critic wouldn't understand it. I trust that the actual intelligent adults will clearly see that the jobs will come from me.

~ Health Care Debate Highlights ~

Lex: I also have a plan-

Misaka: Will all due respect, your plan doesn't work. You're just letting the big corporations run the market and oppress small businesses.

~ Education Debate Highlights ~

Deadpool: Yesterday, Shuang Guo talked about how the toxic education system is the source of toxic masculinity. Do you agree with her claim?

Reimu: Absolutely not. This is so stupid. This whole trial and this whole debate. Look, anyone could be toxic. It's not just men. I agree that we need better schools so everyone can learn in a safe environment. We need to focus on the courses that matter, the courses that can get you a job. But all of this stereotyping on men doesn't help anyone.

Laura: But it's already too late for the men who have graduated and are now unemployed. Their only refuge is 4chan.

Reimu: It's never too late. If they have access to the Internet, they can learn new skills and get a job. They don't have to be a victim.

Misaka: I did some actual research, unlike some people. It turns out that most people on 4chan have full-time jobs and are not angry at society. They post memes just for fun, not for hate. Some men on 4chan even have families.

Laura: Toxic families. Domestic abuse.

~ Special Topic Debate Highlights ~

Deadpool: What is your opinion on gun control?

28-Nov-2014 14:31:41 - Last edited on 28-Mar-2020 00:09:12 by Divinity M

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