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Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Jan 10 2015- I'm rebooting Part IV, rewriting the first 3 chapters, plus adding a fourth, in honor of the new direction RuneScape is heading.

Welcome to the Bono the Noobiest Noob in RuneScape story.

Rules:
-I am not accepting any bios for new characters, so please don't make any.
-No Forum Fights. This is not the place at the moment.
-No Spamming like @@@@@ or other pointless messages,
-Keep chat appropiate and mature.

*QFCs at bottom of this post.


News:=======================================================


-Mod Poppy has read the story!


Main Characters:

Bono Runescape: The star of the show. He's a noob who's obsessed with cheese. He has black curtains, dark blue woolen sleeves, iron chainbody, sea green fine breeches, black cape, leather boots, Anti-Dragon shield, and Darklight.

Thorblade4/Throrblade: Author of the story and Bono's caretaker. Tries his best to keep Bono out of trouble. Has light-brown long curtains, ringmaster shirt, Abyssal Whip/Lunar Staff, Dark Blue Striped Trousers, Boots of Lightness, Gnome Amulet, Spotted Cape, and Ring of Charos.

Rocky Road*: Bono's pet rock. His full name is Rocky the Rockiest Rock in Runescape Road*. He was transformed into a Tz-Haar like creature after his encounter with ???. Has amazing powers of magic, melee, and range.

Puss Cat: Bono's pet cat. His full name is Puss in Boots Cat. Son of Bob and Fluffs the Jagex Cat. He weilds a small dragon shortsword, pirate boots, and a dark cavalier. He's Bono's loyal partner.

Blue Dragon: Thorblade4's pet Blue Dragon. His full name is Blue the Bluest Blue Dragon. He was originally Drag0n Kn1ght's dragon before the gang freed him. He loves chocolate.


Story's Official Clan Chat: Thorblade4

Story's Official Chat Thread: 49-50-676-57800220

Story's Official Fansite: 49-50-607-57078672

Story's Official Bio Thread: 49-50-239-57355472

Story's Official Fight Thread: 55-56-99 "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 22:59:32 - Last edited on 13-Jan-2017 02:21:02 by Blaze Deku

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Part I Chapters:
Chapter 1: Tutorial Island pg 1
Chapter 2: Bono Meets Thorblade4 pg 1
Chapter 3: In Search Of A Pet pg 1
Chapter 4: Druidic Ritual pg 1
Chapter 5: Jungle Potion pg 1
Chapter 6: Shilo Village pg 2
Chapter 7: One Small Favour pg 2
Chapter 8: Valentine's Day pg 2
Chapter 9: Rocky Turns to the Dark Side pg 3
Chapter 10: The End of Rocky, the Rockiest Rock in RuneScape pg 3
Chapter 11: In Search Of A New Pet pg 3
Chapter 12: Bono's New Look pg 4
Chapter 13: Itchlarin's Little Helper pg 4
Chapter 14: A Tail of Two Cats pg 5
Chapter 15: Ratcatchers 5
Chapter 16: Bono's Great Idea pg 6
Chapter 17: The Great Race pg 6
Chapter 18: Thorblade4's Great Idea pg 6
Chapter 19: Tears of Guthix pg 7
Chapter 20: The Return of ??? pg 7
Chapter 21: As A First Resort pg 7
Chapter 22: Bono Raises Construction pg 8
Chapter 23: Bono Raises Summoning pg 8
Chapter 24: What Lies Below/Hunt for Surok pg 9
Chapter 25: 1 Small Flavor pg 10
Chapter 26: Stronghold of Player Safety pg 9
Chapter 27: Easter Event 2008 pg 9
Chapter 28: Shadow of the Storm pg 10
Chapter 29: Bono vs. The Wise Old Man pg 10
Chapter 30: The Final Chapter! pg 11
Part 2 Chapters: pg 11
Part 3 Chapters: pg 25 "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:00:09 - Last edited on 17-May-2009 21:25:38 by Blaze Deku

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 1: Tutorial Island:
Bono: Huh? Where am I?
RuneScape Guide: You're on Tutorial Island!
Bono: But I'm supposed in RuneScape, not Tutu-oriole Island.
RuneScape Guide: First of all, it's called Tutorial Island, not tutu-oriole island, and second you're already in RuneScape.
Bono: Oh.
RuneScape Guide: Now go out and talk to the Survial Guide.
Bono: Ok
(Bono walks out)
Suvial Guide: Hi there! Go catch some shrimp with this net net, then cut down that tree and set the logs on fire.
Bono: Ok
(Bono goes up to tree then uses tinderbox and sets it on fire)
Survial Guide: What are you doing!
Bono: I heard you tell me to "catch" something, then "tree," then "on fire" so I thought you said to catch the tree on fire.
Survial Guide:...Just get out.
(Bono walks to Cooking Guide just as more trees catch fire.)
Cooking Guide Hiya!
Bono: Hey you're the cooking guide, got any cheese? I love cheese!!!=)
Cooking Guide: No...
(Skips to Quest Guide)
Quest Guide: Your quest is to stop the Island from burning up. Some noob set a tree on fire and it's causing a huge fire!
Bono: Umm...ok I'll get some buckets of water.
(Skip to Combat Guide)
Combat Guide: Get those Giant rats in Cage!
Bono: Hey! Those were the rats that stole my cheese!
(Bono beats Giant Rat, with only 1 hp)
Combat Guide: Now defeat another one!
Bono: B-but I'm barely alive!
Combat Tutor: Then use this bow an arrow and attack through the cage.
Bono: Oh boy!
(Skip to Magic Guide)
Bono: Sumbit to my rule! I am now a powerful mage!
Magic Guide: No you're not. You only have level 1 Magic. Anyway, you're ready to head to Lumbridge.
Bono: Oh boy! Good-bye Mr. Wizard!
Magic Guide: Good bye Mr. Runescape.
(Bono disappears)
Magic Guide: Boy am I glad he's gone. He's damaged Tutorial Island with releasing all the Giant Rats and Chickens, not to mention a fire and a cave in,
Next Chapter: Chapter 2: Bono meets Thorblade4 "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:00:39 - Last edited on 13-May-2009 23:01:07 by Blaze Deku

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 2: Bono Meets Thorblade4
Bono: So this is Lumbridge.
Hans: Hey! You're the guy that caused trouble on Tutorial Island!
Bono: No I'm not!
Hans: The guides told me it was a player named Bono.
Bono: Dude I'm not Bono! I'm Bono the Noobiest Noob in RuneScape!
Hans: Well Mr. Noobiest Noob in RuneScape...
Bono: That's Mr. RuneScape! The Noobiest Noob In are my middle names.
Hans: Well Mr. RuneScape, you have a choice of being put in jail, or having a responsible player watch over you.
Bono: Is there a 3rd choice?
Hans: No...
Bono: Then I choose #2.
Hans: Very well. Then the first player I lay eyes on will be Mr. RuneScape's caretaker.
(Players in Lumbridge Castle run away)
Hans: That's odd. Where did everybody go?
(Thorblade4 appears)
Hans: You!
Thorblade4: Yes?
Hans: You'll be this Noob's caretaker!
Thorblade4: What?!
Hans: That's right! You'll be by him 24/7!
Thorblade4: Ok then! Give me a leash or a rope and I'll do it!
Hans: ...
Bono: ...
Thorblade4: Fine then! Neither of those, then.
(Bono and Thorblade4 walk out of Lumbridge)
Thorblade4: So Mr. RuneScape? What shall we do?
Bono: I wish to be called Bono.
Thorblade4: Ok then Bono. What shall we do then?
Bono: Let's find the closest piece of cheese possible!
Thorblade4: That would be in Draynor.
(Thorblade4 and Bono walk to Draynor)
Bono: Hey look at those guys with maces. They must be guarding the cheese!
Thorblade4: Bono! Wait! That's not where the cheese is!
(Bono runs to Draynor Jail getting hit hard. Bono runs in and shuts the door)
Bono: Now I know there is cheese in here. Those guards really want to protect the cheese.
Lady Keli: Hey, what are you doing here?!
Bono: Looking for cheese.
Prince Ali: Hey you there! Get me out of here and I shall give you cheese!
Bono: Ch-cheese?
(Bono receives amazing strength, gets Prince Ali out of jail and takes him out of the Jail) "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:01:21 - Last edited on 24-Aug-2010 15:16:20 by Blaze Deku

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Thorblade4: Holy Cow! Bono how'd you do that?
Bono: The desire of cheese is a powerful thing. Now Prince, what about that cheese?
Prince Ali: If you come to Ali Kharid, east of Lumbridge, I shall put 100 pieces of cheese in your bank along with 600gp.
Bono: (Sniff) Dreams really do come true.
Thorblade4: Nice job Bono! You completed your first quest!
Bono: I did?
Thorblade4: Yup!
(After all the Free quests except Black Knight's Fortress)
Thorblade4: Who knew you could defeat Elvarg in your cheese rage mode without an Anti Dragon Shield.
Bono: And Delrith was no match for me either.
Thorblade4: You know Bono, we make a great team. With your Rage of Cheese, we could become the greatest players in Gielinor!
Bono: Umm... Thorblade4. I have two things to say.
Thorblade4: What are they?
Bono: #1: I thought this was called RuneScape and #2 I can't use the Rage of Cheese anymore.
Thorblade4: Gielinor is another name for RuneScpae and what do you mean you can't use the Rage of Cheese anymore.
Bono: Because I leveled up to 10. The Rage of Cheese can only be used by Level 3's that know the secret.
Thorblade4: Oh...
Bono: You might as well bail on me.
Thorblade4: Bono, I am not going to bail on you. You're a good guy .
Bono: You really mean it?
Thorblade4: No. I said it to make you feel better
Bono: OK!
(The two friends go off in a sunset for more adventures)
Next Chapter: Chapter 3: In Search of A Pet
Bono has been thinking of a new pet. What kind of a pet will Bono get? And will there be a new member or two joining our companions? Stay tune to fine out! "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:01:41

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 3: Search for A Pet
(Bono and Thorblade4 are sitting at a table drinking tea outside of the Blue Moon Inn in Varrock)
Bono: So I said to him well if you call me a noob I'll call you a noob.
Thorblade4: I still don't get it Bono.
Bono: Well here's another joke-
Thorblade4: Wait. We're rolling already?! We haven't finished our tea!
Readers: Yeah! You should be searching for a new pet!
Thorblade4: We'll do that when we're good and ready!
A Few Minutes Later...
Bono: We're still not ready
An Hour later...
Bono: Still not ready!
Thorblade4: Actually Bono, I think our readers have waited long enough.
Bono: I'm bored. I want a cool pet to take care of.
Thorblade4: Bono, cool and noobs don't mix...
Bono: Oh...
Thorblade4: I know a good pet for you.
A Long Hike Later...
Bono: OOOWWW!!!!! My sides are hurting.
Thorblade4: Stop complaining Bono! We're at Rellekka where you can get your own pet-
Bono: OOOOOOH! Look at the doggie!
(Bono runs off)
Thorblade4: Bono! Get back here!
A Few Minutes Later...
Thorblade4: That's the last time I'm letting you near a wolf Bono...
Bono: I thought it was a cute harmless doggie...
Thorblade4: Like I was saying , we're here to get you your own pet rock.
Bono: COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!
Thorblade4: ... Anyway follow me.
Rellekka Long Hall...
Thorblade4:...So you see Askladden, my friend here wants to buy a pet rock.
Askladden: He can have a rock for free.
Bono: Cool. And didn't your mother tell you never to talk to strangers?
Askladden: Yeah. And she told me not to talk to complete noobs.
Bono: Well good for her!
(Thorblade4 does Slap Head Emote)
Thorblade4: Well now you have your very own pet rock. What will it's name be?
Bono: It's not an "it," it's a "he." And his name is Rocky the Rockiest Rock in RuneScape.
Thorblade4: Ok...
Next Chapter: Chapter 4: Druidic Ritual "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:02:01

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 4: Druidic Ritual.
Bono: Rocky say something!
Rocky: ...
Bono: Noooo!!! Rocky is dead
Thorblade4: Bono will you be quiet!!! You've been doing that for the last hour and a half!
Bono: But Rocky can't speak or move.
Thorblade4: Bono, that's because Rocky's a rock.
Bono: So?!
Thorblade4: So they can't speak or move!
Bono: But there must be a way!
Thorblade4: The only rock that has ever moved was when I was doing-(Thorblade4 does lightbulb emote) That's it!
Bono: What's it?
Thorblade4: I remember doing a quest called One Small Favour and their was a scroll that animated rocks!
Bono: Really? Let's do it! Where did you get the scoll?
Thorblade4: Wizard Cromperty in Ardougne.
Bono: Let's get him (Bono runs off)
Thorblade4: Does he even know where he's going?
(Bono runs back to Thorblade4)
Bono: Which way is Ardougne?
Thorblade4: You ran off and didn't know?! I thought you did!
Bono: Hey! I'm just a noob!
Thorblade4: It's down south of here (P.S. we're still at Rellekka where we got Rocky)
A Few Minutes Later...
Bono: (panting) Man that was a good jog!
Thorblade4: I'll bet it was.
Bono: Hey how come you're not tired like me!
Thorblade4: I used the Fairy Rings. I'm a high level player remember?
Bono: Oh. Which way is this Wizard Property?
Thorblade4: It's Cromperty and he's northeast of of Ardougne Square.
(Bono runs off)
Thorblade4: Bono!! Come Back!! That's south-west! Not North east!!
At The RPDT...
Bono: Hey do you know where Wizard Property is?
RPDT Employee #1: Who?
RPDT Employee #2: I think he's that Wizard who live's in Not* Eastern, East Ardougne.
Bono: Hey here's a box that says Wizard Cromperty! He must be living here!
(Bono climbs into box)
At Wizard Prop-Oops!-Cromperty's House...
Thorblade4: Hey Cromperty. Have you seen a noob named Bono the Noob?
Wizard Comperty: No I haven't.
RDPT EMployee: Here's your parcel. It's very heavy! "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:05:35

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Wizard Cromperty: Ah! Here's my very fragile and rare crystal ball I ordered!
(Cromperty opens the crate and Bono pops out)
Bono: Hi Wizard Property!
Cromperty: That's Cromperty!
Bono: Whatever! Just hand over the Animate Rock Spell
Cromperty: You can't have it! It's a quest item in One Small Favour.
Bono: Where can I start 1 Small Flavor?
Cromperty: It's One Small Favour and you start it in Shilo Village...
Bono: Ok!!
Cromperty: ...After you complete Shilo Village...
Bono: Ok!
Cromperty: ...After you complete Jungle Potion...
Bono: Ok.
Cromperty: ...After you complete Druidic Ritual...
Bono: So that's all?
Cromperty: Yes that's all.
Bono: Thanks, oh and why do you live in a box Property?
Cromperty: I'm Cromperty and I don't live in a box!
(Thorblade4 and Bono run to Taverley to start Druidic Ritual)
Bono: So they need meat for this caldron to get their stone circle in Varrock back?
Thorblade4: That's right.
Bono: Sounds simple.
After a few fights with a Giant Rat, Grizzly Bear, Cow and the Evil Chicken...
Thorblade4: Sounds simple huh?
Bono: Be quiet and give me another Monkfish.
Thorblade4: Ok. You have all the meat. Now the Caldron.
(They walk to Taverley Dungeon)
Bono: EEK! Jelly-tens!
Thorblade4: They're called Skeletons.
(Both walk to a metal gate)
Bono: OOOOOO! I like that armor!
(Bono puts on armor)
Suit of Armor: Hey! Get out off me!
One Fight Later...
Bono: The armor didn't like me...
Thorblade. Just throw the meat in...
(Bono throws the meat in and heads back to Kaqemeex)
Kaqemeex: Congratulations! You finished Druidic Ritual!
Bono: Alright! Now I can make Potions!
Thorblade4: How's that going to help you in combat?
Bono: I don't know yet, but I'll find out!!!
Next Chapter: Chapter 5: Jungle Potion "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:05:49 - Last edited on 13-May-2009 23:08:27 by Blaze Deku

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 5: Jungle Potion
Bono: So what's the next quest?
Thorblade4: It's called Jungle Potion.
Bono: So I get to brew a potion in the junge? Cool!
Thorblade4: Um, no. You'll see for youself...
A few minutes later at Tai Bwan Wanni...
Trufitus: Get me some herbs!
Bono: Ok here you go
(Bono hands Triftus a grimy guam)
Trufitus: Not that kind! I need Snake Weed.
A few minutes later...
Thorblade4: Ok let's get that snake weed.
(Bono searches a marshy plant and finds something green)
Bono: I found some Snake weed!
Thorblade4: Umm... Bono, that's not snake weed. That's a snake.
Bono: Oh.
(Snake bites Bono, Bono is poisoned and dies, dropping all of his stuff including a Dragon Chainbody)
Reader: Hey wait a minute! How'd Bono get a Dragon Chain and why'd he drop it?
Thorblade4: Ask me no questions and I shall tell you no lies.
(After that, Bono gets a snake weed)
Trufitus: Now get me some Ardrigal!
Bono: Umm... How about a thanks?
(Trufitus kicks Bono out)
Thorblade4: The Ardrigal is in those palm trees...
Bono: Got it!
Thorblade4: ...And watch out for those Harpie Bug Swarms...
Bono: You mean these?
(Harpie Bug Swarm attack Bono)
Bono: Die bugs!
(Bono attacks the Swarm but does them no damage because he does not have the right slayer level)
Bono: I'll just use my insect repellent.
(Bono uses insect repellent and kills all the Harpie Bug Swarms)
Thorblade4: 0_o
Bono: I got the Ardrigal!
A few minutes later...
Trufitus: Get the Sito Foil!
Fire Place in Tai Bwan Wanni...
Thorblade4: Why do I get the feeling something is going to happen?
Bono: I've got the Sito Foil!
Thorblade4: Good! Let's get going before something bad happens!
(A tree falls down an crushes Bono)
Thorblade4: That was unexpected...
Trufitus: Get the Volencia Moss!
At Tai Bwan Wanni Mining Pit...
Bono: So all I have to do is pick the moss off the rock and I have the moss? "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:12:52 - Last edited on 24-Aug-2010 15:20:53 by Blaze Deku

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Thorblade4: YES!!!! FOR THE 457,392,163 time!!!!
Bono: Ok!
(Bono picks rock off moss and the rock begins to move)
Thorblade4: Run Bono! It's a golem!
Bono: No it's a rock.
Golem: Roar!=@
Thorblade4: Let's get out of here!
(Rocky slips out of Bono's Invetory)
Bono: Rocky run!
Rocky: ...
Golem: Roar?
Rocky: ...
Golem: Roar roar roar roar roar roar.=(
Rocky: .........
Golem: Roar!=)
(Golem disappears)
Thorblade4: Ok... That was weird.
Back At Trufitus...
Trufitus: One more! Need Rouge's Purse!
Bono: Ok! I'll be right back!
(Bono runs off)
An hour later...
Thorblade4: Where have you been?
Bono: Rouge's Castle in the Wilderness. I mugged a rouge.
(Flashback)
Bono: Give me your purse!
Rouge: How in the world did you know I had a purse? I'm a boy rouge.
Bono: ...Just give me your purse!
Rouge: Take it! I don't want trouble!
Bono: Now to get back quickly...
(Chaos Elemental attacks Bono and kills him)
Bono: Thanks Mr. Elemental!
Chaos Elemental: Doge Boy Mr. RuneScape
(Flashback ends)
Thorblade4: Give me that! I'll show you where the real rouge's purse is!
At Jogre Cave...
Bono: Oooooo! I like this wallpaper!
Thorblade4: It's Rouge's Purse. Just take some!
(Jogre trys to attack Bono, but a cave-in kills the Jogre)
Bono: Hey look big bones!
At Trufistus Hut:
Trufitus: Thank you Bwana. Now I can make a potion to appease the gods.
Bono: Why do the gods need a potion?
Trufitus: Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.
Bono: Ok. Hey Thorblade4! Did you find my Dragon Chain? I lost it when the snake got me.
Thorblade4: Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.
Bono: Ummm. Ok. Well I'll see you later!
(Bono logs off)
Next Chapter: Chapter 6: Shilo Village "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:13:11

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