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Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 12: Bono's New Look
Thorblade4: Bono it's time to change.
Bono: Why do you say that?
Thorblade4: Because your clothes are starting to smell and everyone thinks you're a macroner...
(Flashback starts)
Random Player: Hey! A macroner! I'm reporting you!
Thorblade4: He's not a marconer! Please don't ban him!
Random Player: Why not?
Thorblade4: He's the star of our show. If you ban him, everyone will be mad at you.
Random Player: (Laughs) Nice try Choob, but I'm not falling for that lie. Now to report yo-
(The random player is hit with rotten tomatoes, snowballs and rubber chickens)
Readers: Leave them alone Jerk!
Thorblade4: Thank you loyal readers for saving us from the random player!
(Flashback Ends)
Bono: Good point...
Thorblade4: First let's do something about your hair...
At the Hairdressers...
Hairdresser: No I can not do it!
Thorblade4: Why not?
Hairdresser: Because he is bald! He has no hair.
Thorblade4: You could use his beard.
Bono: But...but... I love my beard! Then again it's starting to itch.
Hairdresser: I can cut off his beard and use this Hair Growth Formula.
Thorblade4: I thought you said you couldn't do it...
Hairdresser: Now let me get to work on him!
After a few minutes...
Hairdresser: Here he is!
(Bono has black curtains)
Bono: Oh yeah! Bono likes!
Thorblade4: Now some new clothes.
(Thorblade4, Bono and Rocky walk out. Puss jumps on the wheel clawing at Ridgley)
Hairdresser: Hey leave my Chinchompa alone you beast!
(The Hairdress takes out a club and trys to hit Puss, but misses and hits the chinchompa)
Hairdresser: Uh oh.
(The Chinchompa explodes destroying all of the hairdresser's building. Puss walks out unscratched)
Bono: Did you hear something?
Thorblade4: Nope.
Rocky: No.
Bono: Because I heard a great big boom. Must be thunder.
Thorblade4: Since when is there thunder in RuneScape?
Bono: Have you guys seen Puss? "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:37:37

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
(Puss appears right behind Bono)
Bono: Puss! Where have you been?
(Puss looks and Bono with cute eyes)
Bono: Never mind. Just come here you!=)
(Bono picks up Puss and hugs him)
(Thorblade4 rolls his eyes)
At Thessalia's Fine Clothes...
Thessalia: I can't believe you were walking around for 12 Chapters with those...those...tramp clothes. It's time for something new!
Bono: What's new?
Thessalia: Nothing, what's new with you?
Bono: I don't get it.
Thessalia: Just let me change your clothes...
A Few Minutes Later...
Thessalia: Here we are!
(Bono is wearing a blue waistcoat with woolen sleeves and is wearing fine green trousers)
Thessalia: You look fabo!
Bono: Cool!
(Bono, Thorblade4, and Rocky walk out of the store. Puss starts messing with Iffie's knitting)
Iffie: Stop that you naughty cat!
(Iffie trys to hit the cat with her ball of yarn but misses and hits Thessalia)
Thessalia: Ow!
(Puss rolls the ball of yarn around Thessalia and Iffie and ties them up)
Puss: Meow!=)
(Puss runs off)
Bono: Puss where have you been?
(Puss looks at Bono with cute eyes again)
Bono: You are soooooooooo cute!!!
(Bono picks up Puss and scratches Puss behind the ears)
Puss: Purrrrrrr!
(Thorblade4 and Rocky roll their eyes)
Thorblade4: I thought we said that rocks don't have eyes!
Rocky: Well in my new body I do!
Thorblade4: Oh.
Next Chapter: Chapter 13: Icthlarin's Little Helper
Will we finally know what Puss is really saying? What noobish thing(s) is Bono going to do next? Find out in our Next Chapter!!! "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:37:55

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 13: Icthlarin's Little Helper
Bono: Puss, say something.
Puss: Meow!
Bono: Say something other than "Meow!".
Puss: Meow!=)
Bono: Say something other than "Meow!" and "Meow!=)"
Puss: mEoW!
Thorblade4: I know a something that will help. It's an a-
Bono: Animate cat scroll?
Thorblade4: No...An amulet of catspeak.
Bono: Where can I get that?
Thorblade4: During Icthlarin's Little Helper.
Bono: Where can I start that?
Thorblade4: By talking to a Wanderer near Sophanem.
(Bono runs off to the Khardian Desert)
At Shantay Pass...
Thorblade4: I wonder how far Bono's gotten?
(Bono appears right behind Thorblade4)
Thorblade4: AH! I thought you were in the desert!
Bono: The guys wouldn't let me in. I told them I was an outlaw and they threw me in jail and ransoming me for 5gp. I didn't agree so they took me to Port Sarim.=(
Thorblade4: ...Here's some money, desert robes and waterskins.
Bono: Thanks!
At Icthlarin's Little Helper Staring Point...
Wanderer: Look deep into my eyes...
Bono: Whhhhhhhyyyyyy...
Wanderer: I shall give you cheeeeeeeese...
Bono: Ok*kkkkkkkk and whyyyyy are we talking like thiiiiiissss?
Wanderer: It makes it more hypnotiiiiiiiic...
Bono: Ok*kkkkkkkk...
(Bono is hypnotized and walks into cave)
In Sophanem...
Bono: Huh? Where am I? I remember being with the Wanderer and Thorblade4, then nothing.
Puss: Meow!
Bono: Puss! You're here!
Puss: Meow!=)
(Thorblade4 appears right beside Bono)
Bono: AAAAAAAH!!! Thorblade4 you scared me!
Thorblade4: Sorry Bono.
Bono: Hey a door. I wanna touch it!
(Bono touches it and flashback begins )
Bono: Woah. Deja vu!
(Flashback begins)
Bono: Woah. Deja vu!
(Flashback begins)
Bono: Woah. Deja vu!
(Flashback be-
Readers: ENOUGH ALREADY!!!! YOU'RE BORING US TO DEATH!!!
Thorblade4: Sorry!
Bono: I think I should talk to the winged lion.
Sphinx: I have a name you know!
Bono: Sorry! "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:38:13

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Sphinx: Answer my riddle. If nine brothers each had a sister and there was a mother and a father, how many would be in the family?
Bono: 1,574,382.4823481742
Sphinx: Nope. As punishment, I shall take your cat!
Bono: No! Puss!
(The Sphinx trys to pick up Puss, but Puss scratches the Sphinx multiple times)
Sphinx: Ok OK! I shall help you. Give this to the high priest!
At the High Priest's House...
High Priest: Return the urn to it's rightful place to "urn" the god's respect.
Thorblade4: ...
Bono: ...
Puss: ...
Rocky: (Finally I get to say something) ...
High Priest: It's a pun! Sheesh. Some people don't appreciate comedy.
At the Tomb...
Bono: Now to return the urn! Hey I rhymed!
(Bono trys to return the urn, but Het appears)
Het: Thief!
Bono: But I'm returning the urn!
Het: Not you! Him!
(Bono turns around and see's Simon Templeton)
Simon Templeton: Hey! I don't want to be in this story!
Het: Simon, you owe me money and you stole from temple! Give want you owe!
(Simon Templeton runs off screaming like a little girl)
Het: Thank you for retuning the urn. It was almost overdue.
Bono: Ok...
At The High Priest's House...
Bono: I returned the urn!
High Priest: Good. Now for the cermony...
An hour later...
High Priest: Good. We have everything we need. Thanks for your help Bono.
Bono: No problem.
(As the priests disappear, Bono has another flashback)
Bono: Thorblade4, we got to stop the priests!
Thorblade4: Why?
Bono: I left something bad in the tomb!
At the Tomb...
(Bono rushes in)
Bono: Everybody get out! I left something bad here and the Devourer is in this-
(Bono realizes the Devourer is already there and the possesed priest is there too)
Bono: Man, am I late.
Devourer: Go my priest, attack the noob!
(Bono flings everything he has at the priest. A nitrocerylin falls out)
Possesed Priest: Uh oh.
(The Possesed Priest dies)
Devourer: Fudge. "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:38:32

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
(Devourer disappears)
Bono: Hey! Get back here! You still owe me cheese!
High Priest: Thank you Bono for helping us. Come to my house to "urn" your reward.
Thorblade4: Dude, once may have been funny, but twice is not.
High Priest: Whatever.
At the High Priest's House...
High Priest: Here is Woodcutting, Thieving, and Agility Xp and an Amulet of Catspeak.
Bono: Yay! Now I can talk to Puss and-
(Evil Bob appears)
Evil Bob: Meow!
Bono: Ooooh! Nice Amulet. I'll take it!
(Bono swipes Evil Bob's amulet and gets away)
Bono: What am I going to do with this amulet?
Thorblade4: It's an amulet of manspeak. It non-human beings to speak human.
Bono: Well that's useless to me.
(Bono throws the Amulet of Manspeak and it goes around Puss's neck)
Puss: Excuse me! I'd like some milk and fish now!
Bono: Puss, you can talk! Maybe the amulet of catspeak is working!
Thorblade4: Bono, it's the amulet of manspeak that's working.
Bono: Oh.
Puss: Feed me!
Bono: Then why did I go through Icthlarin's Little Helper when I could have gotten the Amulet of Manspeak?
Puss: Feed me!Feed me! Feed me! Feed me! Feed me!
Thorblade4: I didn't expect to be able to swipe it from Evil Bob.
Puss: Hello? Anybody there?
Bono: And you also didn't expect me to get a Rouge's Purse either.
Puss: That's it...
(Puss scratches Bono and Thorblade4)
Puss: I'm hungry!
Thorblade4: We were going to feed you!
Puss: Then you should done it sooner!
Rocky: I didn't get much lines back in this chapter...
Next Chapter: Chapter 14: A Tail of Two Cats "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:38:51

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 14: A Tail of Two Cats
At A Tail of Two Cats Starting Point...
Unferth: I lost my cat!!!=(
Thorblade4: Now why does that sound familiar...?
Unferth: His name is Bob.
Bono: I know where he is!
(Bono runs off and returns 30 mins later with Bob of Bob's Brilliant Axes)
Bono: Here is is!
Bob: Put me down!
Unferth: That's not my cat. That's not even a cat...
Bono: Sure it is.
(Bono puts a Cat in the Hat hat on Bob)
Bono: See?
Unferth: ...
Thorblade4: ...
Puss: ...
Rocky: ...
Bob: ...
???: ...
Thorblade4: ??? what are you doing here?
???: I got bored after waiting 4 chapters so I decided to pop by.
Thorblade4: Get out of here! You're not supposed to come back for another 6 chapters!!!
???: Fine, fine.
(??? disappears)
Unferth: Go talk to Hild. She'll help you
Hild: Give me 5 Death Runes.
Thorblade4: Here you go.
(Thorblade4 gives Hild 5 death runes)
Hild: Yes! Now I can finally force my neighbors to stop making noise!
Thorblade4: Ok...
Hild: Here's your amulet of catspeak back.
Bono: Thank you.
At Draynor Manor...
Bob: I can't go back to Unferth right now.
Bono: Why not?
Bob: Here's the reason. He doesn't clean the littler box, serves me just shrimp, he smells bad, and I'm in love.
Bono: Hang on.
(Bono starts counting his fingers)
Bono: That's 4 things, not 1.
Bob: To me it's 1.
Bono: Whatever.
Bob: Talk to Gertrude about my past.
At Gertrude's House...
Gertrude: I found Bob in Lumbridge a few weeks ago.
Bono: You found your cat in Lumbridge?
Gertrude: Oh THAT Bob! I thought you meant Bob of Bob's Brilliant Axes! I found Bob on my doorstep. Talk to Reldo about Robert the Strong.
Bono: What's that got to do with anything?
Gertrude: I have to write a report about him and I have to watch the kids.
Bono: What?!
Gertrude: Only joking. I only know the Robert the Strong has something to do with Bob. "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:39:19

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
At The Varrock Palace Library...
Reldo: Robert the Strong you say? I know he was a warrior who lived in the 4th Age.
Bono: Ok.
(Bono then sets the books on fire)
Reldo: What are you doing?!
Bono: I need to raise my Firemaking level and these books are pretty flammable.
Reldo: They're "inflammable"!
Bono: No they aren't. If they were, they wouldn't catch on fire.
(Reldo kicks Bono out of the library and has a long talk with Bono)
Bono: Inflammable means flammable? Man what a strange
language we use.
Thorblade4: Bono we should get going...
Bono: Ok.
At Draynor Manor...
Bob: Me! Robert the Strong! You're mad!
Bono: I am not. If I was, I'd be yelling at the top of my lungs and smoke would be coming out of my ears.
(Thorblade4 whispers something into Bono's ears)
Bono: Mad also means "crazy"? What a weird language we use.
Thorblade4: Let's head to the Sphinx.
At Sophanem...
Sphinx: So, Bob doesn't remember he's Robert the Strong.
Thorblade4: Nope.
Sphinx: I can help him remember. I'll summon him.
(Sphinx summons Bob)
Bob of Bob's Brilliant Axes: Hey! I was going to make the greatest deal ever!
Thorblade4: Sphinx, that's the wrong Bob. That's the one that sells axes. We need the cat.
Sphinx: Oh. You could have said so you know...
Thorblade4: Sorry.
(Bob of Bob's Brilliant Axes disappears and Bob the Jagex Cat appears)
Bob: Oh hello Thorblade4, Bono, Rocky, and Puss. And you too Sphinx. How are you?
Sphinx: Bob, look into my eyeeeeeeeeeeeees...
Bob: Whyyyyyyyyyyyy...?
Sphinx: So I can hypnotize youuuuuuuuuuuuuu...
Bob: Oh Okkkkkkkkkkkkk...
(Sphinx hypnotizes Bob)
Sphinx: I got him.
Thorblade4: You also got Bono...
Bono: What is you command my liege?
(Thorblade4 pours a bucket of water on Bono's head)
Bono: Huh? Where am I? And why am I wet?
Thorblade4: You were sleep swimming in the River Elid and I saved you.
Bono: Wow! I'm lucky I wasn't hurt! "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:39:57

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Sphinx: Ok... Anyway Bob, what can you remember before you were left on Gertrude's doorstep?
Bob: I remember...
(Cutscene occurs and ends)
Sphinx: Ok then. You know your past Bob. Now I shall summon your "true love".
Bob: Wait! Not yet! I haven't got my cologne on!
(Neite appears)
After a long talk...
Neite: So you're the legendary Robert the Strong huh?
Bob: Yup.
Neite: Cool. I wanna date you!
(Bob blushes)
Bob: Oh by the way. Bono, while I'm gone, take care of Unferth for me. Here's the list of chores.
Bono: Wait! I'm taking care of him?
Bob: Pretty much.
Bono: Ok.
Thorblade4: O_o
At Unferth's House...
Bono: First I have to make the bed. It shouldn't take me too long...
An hour later...
Bono: I made Unferth his bed.
Thorblade4: Bono, you were supposed to tidy his bed, not make a new bed from scratch.
Bono: Oh. Man I am really messing up this language.
Thorblade4: Yes you are...
After a minute...
Bono: Ok. Now I finished the bed. What's next?
Thorblade4: Make Unferth some chocolate cake and milk.
Bono: What's chocolate cake look like?
Thorblade4: It's brown cake.
Bono: Ok. I've got the milk. I'll be right back!
A Half Hour later...
Bono: Here's the cake Unferth. Try it.
(Unferth takes a bite of the the cake and spits it out)
Unferth: Bleah! This cake is disgusting and hard! What kind of cake is this?
Bono: It's a rock cake with a mud frosting.
Unferth: It's disgusting! Make me a new cake!
(Unferth tosses Bono the mud coated rock cake)
Thorblade4: I have some chocolate cake right here Bono.
Bono: Thanks, but what am I going to do with this mud coated rock cake?
Rocky: I'll take it. I love mud coated rock cake!
Bono: Ok! Here you go!
(Bono gives Rocky the mud coated rock cake)
Bono: Ok, what's next?
Thorblade4: Build a fire in the fireplace.
Bono: No problem!
(Bono starts a fire in the fireplace and the house burns down in seconds) "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:40:14

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Bono: Um... Unferth. You wouldn't happen to have insuarance on your house would you?
Unferth: Insuarnce? What's insuarance?
Bono: Never mind...
An hour later after building the house...
Bono: Ok, what's next?
Thorblade4: Cut Unferth's hair.
Bono: Ewwwww! That's disgusting! I can't do that!
Thorblade4: Then what are you going to do?
Bono: I'll give him 2k and send him over to the Hairdresser.
Unferth: Oh goody!
(Bono sends Unferth to the Hairdresser for all of his hair to be cut)
Bono: What's left?
Thorblade4: Plant potatoes.
Bono: Ok.
(Bono plants some potatoes. The potatoes become evil)
Evil Potato #1: At last! We can finally conquer RuneScape!
Evil Potato #2: Nothing can stop us now!
Bono: Oooooooo! Potatoes! I'm hungry!
(Bono picks the Evil Potatoes. The Evil Potatoes start to scream. Bono eats them and burps)
Bono: That was yummy!
(Unferth returns home)
Unferth: I don't feel very good...
Bono: You don't look sick.
Unferth: Yeah, but I have that fever that I can't go to Gradma's today.
Bono: You're a grown man and you still go to your Grandma's?
Unferth: Who told you that?
Bono: You did...
Unferth: Noooo!!!
Thorblade4: It's time we head to the Apothocary...
At The Apothocary...
Apothocary: Oh no! Not you again!
Bono: Why does everyone we meet a 2nd time always say that?
Thorblade4: Anway Mr. Apothcary, we're here because Unferth is feeling ill.
Apothocary: Unferth is just pretending he is sick.
Thorblade4: Figures. A grown man who is still in school pretends to be sick so he can skip class.
Apothocary: Take this water filled vial and nurse's hat and tell Unferth that you are a nurse and that water filled vial can cure anything.
Bono: Ok!
At Unferth's House...
Nurse Bono: Hello Mr. Unferth. I am Nurse Bono and I'm here to make you all better.
Unferth: You look familiar... Have we met before?
Nurse Bono: I think you're talking about my brother Bono. "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:40:29 - Last edited on 13-May-2009 23:43:11 by Blaze Deku

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Unferth: Ok then. Give me that medicine!
(Unferth snatches the water filled vial and chugs it)
Unferth: I feel better all ready. Thanks Nurse Bono!
Nurse Bono: You're welcome!
At Draynor Manor...
Bob: Thank you for taking care of Unferth. Neite and I had the most wonderful time. Here's your reward.
(Bob gives Bono two xp Lamps and a mouse toy)
Bono: OMG! Thank you Bob! I always wanted a Whip like Thorblade4! And the 2 Xp Lamps are nice too! I'm using them to raise Construction and Hunter.
Thorblade4: That's not a whip Bono, that's a mouse toy.
Bono: Even better!
Thorblade4: ...
Bono: Now watch me take someone out!
Thorblade4: Wait Bono!
(Bono attacks a level 48 Soldier. The Soldier hits Bono a 5)
Thorblade4: Bono run!
(Bono hits a 56 with the Mouse Toy and the Soldier dies)
Thorblade4: O_o
Bono: I love my Mouse toy!
Next Chapter: Chapter 15: Ratcatchers "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:40:48

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