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Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 21: As A First Resort...
Bono: Man. 21 Chapters and I haven't had a single break...
Thorblade4: I know a good quest for you. It's known as As a First Resort. You need to Complete Zogre Flesh Eaters, Big Chompy Bird Hunting, have 58 Woodcutting, 51 Firemaking and 48 Hunter.
Bono: Let's do it!
An Hour Later...
Thorblade4: That was easy.
Bono: I know.
(Flashback begins)
Rantz: Hey it you! Bring me chompy! They live in trees, but-
Bono: Ok!
(Bono cuts down a tree and the Chompy dies)
Rantz: Thanks human!
(Another Flashback occurs)
Slash Bash: Roar!
Bono: Quick! What's 1x1?
Slash Bash: Um. Uh. Uhhh! My brain hurts!
(Slash Bash Dies)
Bono: Yay! Now I get the arty-fec!
(Flashback ends)
Thorblade4: Well you're finally ready for As A First Resort.
At As A First Resort Starting Point...
Balnea: First I need you to blah blah blah and then blah blah food with Chargurr so we can blah blah.
Bono: She appears to be speaking a forgien language of some kind.
Balnea: ... Just go speak to Chargurr.
Chargurr: Me need to raw chompies, 4 spears and 4 Achey logs and 8 Eucalyptus tree.
(Everything that Chargurr needs flies toward them)
Bono: That was useful.
Outside of Oo'glog...
Thorblade4: I hope Bono appreciates what we've done for him.
Inside of Oo'glog...
Balnea: Now I need you to blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and blah blah blah.
Bono: Huh?
Balnea: ...Just talk to Snurgh.
Snurgh: These pillows smell.
Bono: That's not a pillow. That's a steak.
Snurgh: Then where are the pillows?
Somewhere in RuneScape...
Random Player: Here's a treat for you pooch!
Bulldog: Arf!
(Random player pulls a pillow from behind his back)
Bulldog: Grrrrrrr!
Random Player: Oops. "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:49:59

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Snurgh: Good. Me now try them out!
(Snurgh takes a pillow and takes a nap. Her snores bring down the building)
Bono: Wow! I'd better go before she wakes up...
Balnea: I you to blah blah blah at the salon.
Bono: Speak english lady!
Kringk: I need some laurpia fur and wolf bones.
(Some wolf bones and laurpia fur hit Bono on the head)
Bono: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Hey some fur! Ow! It's spiny!
Outside of Oo'glog...
Rocky: Man, that was so worth it!
Kringk: Thanks human! Here's a free wig!
(Kringk throws a wig on Bono)
Bono: Cool! I have a purple penguin on my head!
Balnea: Now I need to do blah blah blah by blah blah the spas!
Bono: Something must be done about her...
(Bono walks out of the bank and talks to an Ogre Child named Chomp)
Chomp: Hi, human.
Bono: Hi, ogre. How are you today little ogre?
Chomp: Can I have some shiny pretties, human?
Bono: What makes you think I'd give my shiny pretties to you? You sound like a noob. Wait I'm a noob!
Chomp: That skinny lady at de bank say visitors bring lots of shiny pretties with them when they come visit Oo'glog. Me want my share!
Bono: Ah you see, I've given your share to that skinny lady at the bank; you'll have to ask her for it yourself. Make sure you ask really loudly and growl at her every time she uses a word you don't understand, okay?
Chomp: Yay! Thanks human. I'm gonna get my shiny pretties, even if I have to growl all afternoon.
Seegud: I've put rocks to help remember what I used. Brown rocks mean eucalyptus logs and etc.
Bono: Ok! Now I need the herbs and logs...
(Logs and herbs rain from the sky)
Bono: Uh oh.
(The logs hits Bono)
Bono: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
(Bono takes the logs and herbs and uses them on the fireplace. He lights the fire, but the bugs don't go away. The nearby ogre children are giggling)
Bono: I think those kids switch the rocks around.
Seegud: They will help you. Remember, eucalyptus logs go into every fire. "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:50:14

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
A few minutes later...
Bono: Ok so the tall blue means lavender and the red means stinkweed and...
2 hours later...
Bono: I did it!
Seegud: Good. Now talk to bossy skinny lady.
Balnea: I just had the strangest thing happen to me. And ogre ask me for his share of shiny pretties. And when I tried to explain in my vocabulary that he had to earn them, he kept growling at me.
Bono: Now how could that have happen...
Balnea: Anyway, I need one more thing.
Bono: What is it?
Balnea: I need you to get rid of the wimpy birds, diseased kebbits, and and a family platypods.
Bono: Ok!
(While capturing the wimpy birds, Bono gets his hand caught in the bird snare)
Bono: Ow!
(While capturing the diseased kebbits, Bono's hand gets trapped under the rocks)
Bono: Yeow!
(While releasing the platypod, they all throw heavy caskests at him)
Bono: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Thanks for the caskets!
Platypod Family: Eep! (You're welcome)
Balnea: I-
Bono: Say another word I don't understand and I'll throw this mud pie at your face...
Balnea: I just wanted to say thanks. We're having VIP trolls attending and fairies cutting the ribbon for the grand opening of the spa.
(Cutscene starts and ends)
Bono: Was that the Wise Old Man? In a bathing suit?!
Balnea: Here's your reward!
(Bono receives 15000 Firemaking, Hunter and Woodcutting Xp)
Bono: Thanks!
(Thorblade4, Rocky, Puss and Blue appear)
Thorblade4: So Bono, you ready to hit the spa?
Bono: You bet!
(Bono jumps into the mud bath and starts eating it)
Thorblade4: Bono what are you doing?
Bono: I'm eating this chocolate pudding!
Thorblade4: That's not chocolate pudding! That's mud!
Bono: Bleah! No wondering it tasted horrible...
(Rocky jumps in the mud bath and starts eating it)
Thorblade4: Why are you eating it Rocky? We already know it's not chocolate pudding.
Rocky: Because I love mud pudding!
Thorblade4: Whatever "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:50:27

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Ogress at Spa: Would you like a facial?
Bono: Yes please with cucumbers.
Ogress at Spa: We don't have cucumbers. Sorry.
(The ogress fling mud at Bono)
Ogress at Spa: Ha! I threw mud at your face! Ha ha!
Bono: I don't get it...
Rocky: Why don't you get in the Thermal bath, Puss? It's very nice.
Blue: Yeah!
Puss: Amigos! We cats don't like water.
Rocky: Why not?
Puss: Because it takes us hours to dry and we smell funny when we're wet.
Next Chapter: Chapter 22: Bono Raises Construction "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:50:45 - Last edited on 18-Mar-2012 18:36:52 by Blaze Deku

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 22: Bono Raises Construction
At Philip3477's POH...
Philip3477: Ah! Relaxed at last!
(The doorbell rings)
Philip3477: A visitor? In the middle of the night? That's strange. I didn't even know I had a doorbell.
(Philip3477 opens the door and Thorblade4 is outside with tired eyes)
Philip3477: Thorblade4, what are you doing here? And with tired eyes?
Thorblade4: Please, take me in Phil!
Philip3477: What happened?
Thorblade4: Well it started out just this afternoon...
(Flashback begins)
Thorblade4: Well the day's almost up. I'd better head home.
Bono: Can I come? Rocky, Puss, Blue and I don't have a home.
Thorblade4: First off, Blue lives with me. And second if you don't have a home, where have you been sleeping?
Bono: We've always bunked at your house.
Thorblade4: Oh yeah...
Bono: Please! Just one more night. We don't have a home.
Thorblade4: Fine...
At Thorblade4's POH...
Bono: I'm hungry!
Thorblade4: Here's some cheese.
Bono: Nice!
A few minutes later...
Thorblade4: Time for bed!
Bono: No wait!
Thorblade4: What?
Bono: Pillow fight!
(Bono whacks Thorblade4 with pillow and Thorblade4 dies)
Thorblade4: Ouch!
(When Thorblade4 reenters the POH, Bono throws more pillows and Thorblade4 dies)
(Flashback ends)
Thorblade4: ...and that's the whole story.
(Philip3477 laughs)
Thorblade4: It's not funny. So how am I going to get them out of the house?
Philip3477: Get a house for Bono of course.
Thorblade4: Ok. Anything to get some sleep.
Philip3477: Where are Bono, Rocky, Puss and Blue?
Thorblade4: They're still at my house. I put Bono, Rocky and Puss in a steel cage to keep them out of trouble.
At Thorblade4's POH...
Bono: Got any 3's?
Puss: Nope. Go fish.
Rocky: Wait! I think Thorblade4 tricked us.
Bono: Nah. Thorblade4 would never do that.
Rocky: Then why are we in this cage?
Bono: What cage?
Puss: It was a trap! "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:51:17

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Rocky: I never thought Thorblade4 would betray us.
Bono: What's the big deal guys?
Rocky: We have been betrayed by Thorblade4!
Puss: Let's spring a trap for HIM when he gets back.
Rocky and Bono: Yeah!
A few minutes later...
Thorblade4: Guys, I'm home! I've got good new and even better news! FIrst off you can come out of the-
(Thorblade4 notices the cage is empty)
Thorblade4: ...cage. Where did they go?
(Bono, Rocky and Puss are on the ceiling above Thorblade4)
Puss: Now!
(They all fall on to Thorblade4)
Thorblade4: Yeow! What was that for?!
Rocky: For trying to capture us for Evi1 Mag3 or someone like that.
Thorblade4: You dummies! I wasn't going to sell you to Evi1 Mag3!
Puss: Then why were we in the cage, "boss"?
Thorblade4: To keep you out of trouble! How'd you escape anyway?
Rocky: It was like this...
(Flashback starts)
Puss: We must escape before our "amigo" returns.
Rocky: But how? It's nitroglycerin proof and the switch is way over there!
(Bono lassos the switch with his mouse toy)
Bono: I got it!
(The floor gives way)
Rocky: Bono, you just activated the trapdoor...
Puss: Into the Oubliette we go...
(All three fall into the Oubliette)
Puss: Eeeew! We fell into some water! I hate water!
Rocky: Uh oh! I see a tentacle!
Bono: Yum! Calimari!
(Bono bites the tentacle and the tentacle squels and dives back into the water)
Puss: Now with my claw, I shall pick the lock on this cage!
(Puss picks the lock wrong and the drain of the pool opens)
Puss: Not again! I hate water!
Rocky: And rocks can't swim...
Bono: Weee!
(All are flushed down and shoot out from Thorblade4's pond)
Puss: I will never go near water again!
Rocky: That was terrifying...
Bono: Let's do it again!
(Flashback ends)
Thorblade4: That explains why you're all wet.
Bono: So anyway, what's the good news?
Thorblade4: You're all going to move in a new house! "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:51:53

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Bono, Rocky, and Puss: Yah!
Thorblade4: Tomorrow we shall get you a new house, but first we go beddy bye.
Bono: But I'm not tired!
(Thorblade4 whacks Bono with a blackjack and knocks him out)
Rocky: O_o
Puss: O_o
Thorblade4: Any questions?
(Rocky and Puss immediatly fall asleep)
Thorblade4: Good. I'm glad we understand each other...
The Next Day...
Bono: It's moving day!
Puss: Do you think we can wake up now?
Rocky: I dunno. I don't wanna be hit by that blackjack...
Thorblade4: WAKE UP YOU TWO!!!
(Rocky and Puss jump)
Thorblade4: We're heading to Falador so Bono can purchase his new POH.
Blue: I can take you there.
Thorblade4: No need to Blue. We can use the portal.
Blue: Thank Guthix! I thought I would have to carry you! You're all so heavy, especially Thorblade4 and Rocky.
Thorblade4: =@
Rocky: =@
Blue: What?!
At Falador Real Estate...
Real Estate Agent: A POH will cost you 1k.
Bono: OMG! That's expensive!
Thorblade4: ...
Rocky: ...
Puss: ...
Blue: ...
Bono: What?
Thorblade4: Here's 1k.
Real Estate Agent: Your POH is in Rimmington.
Bono: Thank you Mr. Realator!
Real Estate Agent: I'm Real Estate Agent, not Mr. Realator!
At Rimmmington POH Portal...
Thorblade4: Ok Bono, go into building mode to work on your house.
Bono: Ok!
(Bono enters the POH Portal)
At Bono's POH...
Bono: Cool! My POH already has furniture and plants, but they're all white. They must be covered with snow!
(Bono enters the parlor)
Bono: I think I'll light a fire in the fireplace and rest in the chair, before getting to work.
(Bono sets a fire in the fireplace hotspot and trys to sit on the Chair hotspot but falls down)
Bono: What happened? My chair was right there!
(The parlor catches on fire and burns down)
Bono: Odd. Now my parlor is white...
At Rimmington POH Portal...
Thorblade4: Oops! I forgot to get Bono Construction items. "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:54:45 - Last edited on 18-Mar-2012 18:41:30 by Blaze Deku

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Rocky: You forgot to give Bono Construction items?!
Puss: And you're desperate to get him out of your POH?
Blue: Man you are a noob!
Thorblade4: =@ Anyway, I'd better go give Bono the supplies...
(Thorblade4 enters the POH Portal)
At Bono's POH...
Thorblade4: Bono I brought some Construct-
(Thorblade4 notices the whole place is covered with ashes)
Thorblade4: What happened here?
Bono: The POH caught on fire.
Thorblade4: I'm not even going to ask why...
Bono: Now I don't have a POH...
Thorblade4: This looks like a job for our friends)
(Rocky, Puss and Blue appear)
Rocky: We'd be-
Puss: -glad to-
Blue: -help you!
(Everyone starts to do major construction. Bono accidently hits his finger with a hammer)
Bono: Ow.
(Bono hits himself again)
Bono: Ow.
(Bono hits himself again)
Bono: Ow.
(Bono keeps doing this until Thorblade4 takes the hammer away)
Thorblade4: That's enough hammering for you...
(In the end, Bono has Basic stone house in Taverly with loads of furniture at or below 20 Construction and two bedrooms with one for Bono and one for Rocky and a pet bed for Puss)
Thorblade4: And here's a Teak Larder to supply you with infinite cheese.
Bono: This is the happiest day of my life!
Thorblade4: Well, the day's almost up. Me and Blue should fly home and-
Bono: Wait.
Thorblade4: What?
Bono: Could you sleepover for tonight?
Thorblade4: Fine...
Later that night...
(Bono is talking in his sleep and snoring)
Bono: (snore)...Yes I'd love some gorganzola cheese. And some blue cheese too... (snore)...
(Thorblade4 has tired eyes)
Thorblade4: Here I go again...
Next Chapter: Chapter 23: Bono Raises Summoning "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

13-May-2009 23:55:04

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