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Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 87: Case of the Murdered Druid
Thorblade4's House...
Thorblade4: I'm bored...
Monkey164, Chu Master5, Groovy Gal62, Pink Punk39, Chaserm1, Eggypants 2, and Flameater20: Same here...
Bono: I like cheese!
Everyone: O_o
(Headpwner3 appears)
Headpwner3: Fear me mortals!!! I am the dreaded, the feared, the awesome, the super-!
Thorblade4: Get to the point!!! You're wasting characters!!!
Headpwner3: Fine meanie! I'm Headpwner a.k.a. Agent H. I have been sent by the Dark Empire to kill you.
Thorblade4: So want can you do?
Headpwner3: I can make heads explode! Watch!
(Headpwner3 puts stares at a player and makes his head explode)
Thorblade4: Was that Zezima?!
Headpwner3: Nah. The real Zezima died.
Flameater20: No. That's just a rumor.
Headpwner3: Well, he's dead now. Now prepare for your doom!
Pink Punk39: Aw man... The noob can explode all our heads before we can attack. We're doomed!
(Bono walks up to Headpwner3)
Bono: Hey Headpwner3, can you make your own head explode?
Headpwner3: You know, I never tried that. I'll do it right now!
(Headpwner3 concentrates really hard and his head explodes)
Chu Master5: Wow Bono, that's the smartest thing you've done through-out the story!
Bono: Thanks- Hey!
Dark Empire HQ...
D4rk L0rd: Never send a noob to do a high level's job... Now I have to find someone to replace the position of the noob that was once Headpwner3 and Agent H. Here comes more paperwork...
Thorblade4's House...
Thorblade4: Great... We just finished off a Dark Empire assassin. What are we supposed to do for the rest of the chapter?
(Doomskull999 appears on the MTV/Magical Television)
Doomskull999: This just in! Moderators discovered the body of Stikklebrix, the apprentice of Pikkupstixx! Moderators are baffled of how the young apprentice died! Anyone who can solve this case will be rewarded. Remember, Channel DS9 is right all the time! This is Doomskull999 signing out.
Thorblade4: Did you hear that?! "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

17-May-2009 22:04:37

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Bono: Yeah. Dooomskull999 is un-muted and he has has his own channel on MTV!
Thorblade4: No... A murder of a druid was committed and who ever solves it gets a reward.
Bono: A murder mystery you say...
Thorblade4: Uh-oh. Here it comes.
Monkey164: Here what comes?
Thorblade4: You'll see...
Bono: This looks like a job for...
(Bono changes into a trench coat and dark calavier)
Bono Bozo: Bono Bozo, Private Eye.
Monkey164: Oh... That.
Bono Bozo: Come on, you dips! To the scene of the crime!
Pink Punk39: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL US?!
Bono Bozo: Uh... Did I say "dips"? I meant...
(Bono Bozo turns around)
Bono Bozo: (mumbles) Lips, kits, bits, zits, spits.
(Bono Bozo turns around)
Bono Bozo: I got nothing...
Pikkupstixx's House...
Pikkupstixx: You!
Bono Bozo: Huh?
Pikkupstixx: I know you did it!
Bono Bozo: Sir, I don't know what you mean.
Pikkupstixx: You killed my apprentice! You were one of the people that went up to White Wolf Mountain around the time he died!
Bono Bozo: No. That would be Bono the Noobiest Noob in RuneScape. I'm Bono Bozo, Private Investigator.
Pikkupstixx: You're the same person!
Bono Bozo: Saying a suspect and a private investigator are the same person is like saying a banana and cheese is the same.
Pikkupstixx: I still don't trust you, Mister Bozo.
Bono Bozo: That's good. You shouldn't trust anyone, Gramps.
Pikkupstixx: GRAMPS?!
Bono Bozo: Time to go investigate the crime scene!
(Bono Bozo runs out of Pikkupstixx's House)
White Wolf Mountain...
(Bono Bozo walks up to Shafin25)
Bono Bozo: So what do you think happened, Shafin25?
Shafin25: We found two wolf bones, a kebab in his stomach, and some smashed glass with some sort of yellow liquid. Judging by the evidence, Stikklebrix died of food poisoning.
Bono Bozo: Can I take the sample of the smashed glass and liquid?
Shafin25: Sure.
(Shafin25 hands Bono Bozo samples of the glass and liquid) "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

17-May-2009 22:04:54

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Bono Bozo: Thanks.
(Bono walks back to Taverley)
Taverley...
(Bono Bozo walks up to Flameater2))
Bono Bozo: Hey Flame, can you tell me what this is?
Flameater20: Sure.
(Bono Bozo hands Flameater20 the evidence)
Flameter20: These are the remains of a pint of beer.
Bono Bozo: Darn. I thought it was melted cheese.
Flameater20: You mean fondue.
Bono Bozo: There's a named for it?!
Flameater20: Yeah.
Bono Bozo: Sweet!
Flameater20: Let's go talk to Shafin25 to see who was on White Wolf Mountain around the time of Stikklebrixx's death.
Bono Bozo: Ok.
(Bono Bozo, Thorblade4 and Flameater20 leave for Moderator HQ)
Eggypants 2: Something's not right. Why wasn't the body of Stikklebrixx discovered till now? There were like 54 chapters when he could have been found, but he shows up now.
Chaserm1: Me neither. I hope Master Bono takes care of him. The darkness is moving again...
Moderator HQ...
Thorblade4: Hey Shafin25, can you show us who was on White Wolf Mountain around the time of Stikklebrixx's death?
Shafin25: Sure.
(Shafin25 gets on a laptop)
Shafin25: There were six people on White Wolf Mountain at that time: Bono T. N. N. I. RuneScape, Grimgnash, Ms. Go N. Green (a druidess in Taverly), Captain Bleemadge, and the Drunken Dwarf.
Thorblade4: Ok. Let's start talking to Grimnash.
Bono Bozo: Ok, Thorblade4, you are the dame-
(Thorblade4 punches Bono Bozo)
Bono Bozo: You are the most awesome person of all-
(Chuck Norris glares at Bono Bozo)
Bono Bozo: ...besides Chuck Norris.
(Chuck Norris nods and disappears)
Thorblade4: Ok...
White Wolf Mountain...
Bono Bozo: So, what did you see, Mister Grimgnash?
Grimgnash: Mmmmmm... Noob look tasty...
Bono Bozo: Uh... Noobs aren't the good for you and taste terrible!
(Bono Bozo puts Im D34d in front of him)
Bono Bozo: Eat him! He's nutrious and delicious!
Im D34d: No! Put me down! I don't wanna die again!
Grimgnash: Ooh! He look tasty. Me eat him! "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

17-May-2009 22:05:12

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
(Grimgnash reaches toward Im D34D)
THE FOLLOWING HAS BEEN BLOCKED SINCE IT IS TOO GORY TO SHOW TO PLAYERS OF RUNESCAPE. INSTEAD, WE WILL SKIP TO THE NEXT SCENE.
White Wolf Mountain Gnome Glider...
Bono Bozo: What did you see?
Captain Bleemadge: There was a huge blizzard up here, so I couldn't see clearly. I saw the a druid slay two wolves. Then I saw a dwarf. Then the blizzard thicken for a few minutes, so I could not see, and I heard a gasp. Then another player came up and stood nearby the corpse of the druid, then walked away.
Bono Bozo: Thank you very much.
Moderator HQ...
(Bono Bozo interrogates Bono)
Bono Bozo: Mister RuneScape, did you murder Stikklebrixx?
Bono: Nope.
(Bono Bozo turns to Shafin25)
Bono Bozo: He says he didn't do it.
(Bono Bozo walks out)
Shafin25: How did he do that?
Thorblade4 (shrugs) Dunno.
Later...
(Bono Bozo interrogates Go N. Green)
Bono Bozo: Miss Green, what were you doing on White Wolf Mountain around the time of Stikklebrixx's death?
Go N. Green: I was trying to get a sample of the White Pearl plant for my garden. I'm a botanist.
Bono Bozo: What's a botanist?
Go N. Green: It's a person who studies of plants. I'm also have level 99 in Herblore, Farming, Summoning and Magic.
Bono Bozo: Ok. Thank you for your time, Ms. Green.
Later...
Bono Bozo: What were you doing on White Wolf Mountain, Mister Drunken Dwarf?
Drunken Dwarf: Me name's Drunk N. Dwarf.
Bono Bozo: Figures... Anyway, what were you doing on White Wolf Mountain.
Drunken Dwarf: Delivering food to Stikklebrixx. He good to me. He gives me drinks of colored stuff to help with me "problem" with drinking. He'd try to get me to drink "non-alcoholic" stuff like Fruit Blast and Pineapple Punch. Sounded more violent than beer so I said no. But he got me to drink it and I liked it.
Bono Bozo: So you don't have any reason to kill him.
Drunken Dwarf: No! Not even with me "problem" would I do it! He good! "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

17-May-2009 22:05:42

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Bono Bozo: Ok. Thank you for you time, Mister Dwarf.
Drunken Dwarf: No officer, problem!
(Bono Bozo exits the room)
Shafin25: There goes our main suspect. Who could have killed him?
Bono Bozo: I know...
Taverley...
(Bono Bozo walks up to Go N. Green)
Go N. Green: Hello, Mister Bozo. How can I help you?
Bono Bozo: I wish I could come here under more happier terms.
Go N. Green: What do you mean?
(A squad of Moderators appear)
Shafin25: Go N. Green, you are under arrest for the murder of Stikklebrixx! Come out with your hands up!
(Go N. Green looks around and turns to Bono Bozo)
Go N. Green: Very clever, Mister Bozo. Very clever.
Bono Bozo: I figured it was you when the beer glass was smashed. It wouldn't have been smashed if Stikklebrixx died of poisoning, which meant he struggled. And when Captain Bleemadge said he heard a gasp, I figured Stikklebrixx was being strangled. That ruled out the Drunken Dwarf, since it's not his style. I found out about a plant species known as the Tangle Vine that strangles its victims. It's been extinct because of Jagex wiped it out for the safety of players. Hearing you talk about collecting the White Pearl made me think that you would collect the tangle vine. And seeing that sprig of Tangle Vine in your Greenhouse confirmed my suspicions.
Go N. Green: Very good Mister Bozo. I did kill Stikklebrixx because he suspected I was betraying the druids the one called D4rk L0rd which I did!
Bono Bozo: D4rk L0rd?
Go N. Green: The leader of the Dark Empire, an organization that wants control over RuneScape!
Bono Bozo: That I know.
Go N. Green: You see, Bono Bozo. I am Agent G!
Bono Bozo: Well, too bad your going to jail!
Go N. Green: Actually, Bozo, I'm escaping!
(Go N. Green squishes Gnome Seedpod and escapes)
Shafin25: Dang it! She got away!
Bono Bozo: At least we know who's behind the Dark Empire...
Dark Empire HQ...
Go N. Green: Thank you, D4rk L0rd.
Next Chapter: Chapter 88: Armies of Gielinor "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

17-May-2009 22:07:19 - Last edited on 14-Nov-2009 19:18:56 by Blaze Deku

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 88: Armies of Gielinor
Thorblade4's House...
Everyone: We're bored...
Thorblade4: Woah. I'm experiencing deja vu.
(Mod Poppy appears)
Mod Poppy: Thorblade4! Bono! I need your help!
Thorblade4: What is it?
Mod Poppy: A huge war has broken out and I need you to fight in it!
Eggypants 2: Why us?
Mod Poppy: You're the first people that came to mind.
Everyone: O_o
Chu Master5: How do we know what you say is true? I didn't hear anything about a conflict.
Flameater20: No. She's right. I sense feelings of great anger and violence in the air.
Mod Poppy: So will you help?
Thorblade4: Give us time to think about-
Bono: Yes!!!
Everyone: O_o
Mod Poppy: Ok then. Here you go!
(Mod Poppy teleports the party)
Somewhere in RuneScape...
(Thorblade4 wakes up)
Thorblade4: Huh? Where am I?
(Thorblade4 crawls to a river and sees his reflection as an Elf Lord)
Thorblade4: AAAAAAAAAGH!!! I'm an elf!!!! Wait! That's good!
Groovy Gal62: Thorblade4, you ok?
Thorblade4: Yeah but the strangest thing happen-
(Thorblade4 sees Groovy Gal62 as a Saradomin Mage)
Thorblade4: Groovy, why are you a Saradomin Mage?
Groovy Gal62: I don't know...
(Monkey164 appears as a Gorilla)
Monkey164: I have the strangest craving for bananas...
(Chu Master5 appears as a Multi-Cannon Dwarf)
Chu Master5: WHAT THE-?! I'M A MIDGET!!!
Thorblade4: What the heck is going on here?!
(Flameater20 appears as a druid)
Flameater20: I think I know. We're in an area that transforms people into what their most similiar to. For instace, Thorblade4 is intelligent, agile, and strong so he's an elf. Groovy Gal62 randomness is magical and she is a girl so she's a Saradomin Mage. Monkey164 likes moneys so he's a gorilla. Chu Master5 loves his Dwarf Multi-Cannon so he's a dwarf. And I'm a healer and magical so I'm a druid. I just don't understand why this is happening though...
(Mod Poppy appears as an Elf Lady) "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

17-May-2009 22:08:37

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Mod Poppy: I'll explain. You so, I shrunk you and teleported you to this game in JaGeX HQ known as Armies of Gielinor.
Chu Master5: What about the war we're supposed to fight?!
Mod Poppy: You see, Andrew and Paul Gower are fighting and they challenged each other to Armies of Gielinor, but we're low on pieces so we borrowed you- Hey! Where's the rest of you?!
Thorblade4: Dunno.
Mod Poppy: Must have gotten lost. I'll teleport them here.
(Mod Poppy summons Eggypants 2 as a Crystal Shapeshifter, Pink Punk39 as a Sea Slug, Chaserm1 as a Greater Demon, and Bono as a Barbarian)
Pink Punk39: What the-?! I'm a sea slug?!
Chu Master5: You know, seeing Pink Punk39 like that makes me feel better!
Mod Poppy: Oops. Must have been a glitch.
(Pink Punk39 transforms into a Menaphite Thug)
Chu Master5: Dang it!
Bono: I am Bonan the Barbarian!
Thorblade4: Why does this seem familiar...?
Mod Poppy: That's all you there is? Nine people won't do!
(Mod Poppy summons Puss, Lazy Bob, Neville, and Snikklefritz as Lions, Rocky as TzHaar-Ket, Blue as a Red Dragon, Ellemar as a White Knight, Dragon Knight as a Portal Mage, and Axel as a Barbarian Cheiftian)
Thorblade4: Let me guess Blue, you're transformed into a Red Dragon because there are only Red Dragons in the game.
Blue: Nah, I just got sunburned.
Everyone: O_o
Mod Poppy: There we go. That should be enough. Now you will be divided so it is fair. Thorblade4, Groovy, Bono-
Bonan: That's Bonan for this chapter!
Mod Poppy: Bonan, Snikklefritz, Blue, Ellemar, Rocky, and Puss on Andrew's team. Pink Punk39, Chu Master5, Lazy Bob, Neville, Chaserm1, Axel, Dragon Knight, and Eggypants 2 on Pauls's team.
(Mod Poppy turns to the sky)
Mod Poppy: Andrew, are you ready?!
Andrew: Ready, Poppy!
Mod Poppy: Paul, are you ready?!
Paul: Ready, Poppy!
Mod Poppy: Let the Armies of Gielinor Match of the Century begin!!!
(Mod Poppy teleports away)
Later...
(Groovy Gal62 and Pink Punk39 are fighting) "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

17-May-2009 22:08:51

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Pink Punk39: Hey Groovy! I won't kill you if you give me a kiss.
Groovy Gal62: No way, Pink!
Pink Punk39: Then you leave me no-!
(Groovy Gal62 uses magic and kills Pink Punk39)
Pink Punk39: ...choice.
(PInk Punk39 dies)
Andrew: Ha! First victory, Paul!
Paul: Don't count your chickens yet, Andrew...
Later...
(Chu Master5 and Monkey164 are fighting)
Monkey164: Prepare to die, Chu!
Chu Master5: Hey, look! A Banana!
(Chu Master5 throws a banana)
Monkey164: MINE!!!
(Monkey164 rushes toward the banana and Chu Master5 sets up his cannon)
Monkey164: Aw man...
(Chu Master5 uses his Dwarf Multi-Cannon and kills Monkey164)
Later...
(Bonan and Chaserm1 are fighting)
Chaserm1: Sorry, Master Bonan, but I must kill you.
(Chaserm1 is about to finish off Bonan but is defeated by Thorblade4)
Chaserm1: Curses!
(Chaserm1 dies and Bonan looks at Thorblade4)
Thorblade4: I believe the word you're looking for is, "Thank You".
(Bonan attacks Thorblade4)
Thorblade4: Bono, you moron! Why are you attacking me?!
Bonan: You cheated Bonan out of kill!!!
Thorblade4: You were about to die!!!
Bonan: Die thief!!!
(Thorblade4 dies)
Thorblade4: Stupid noob...
Later...
Paul: Prepare to be defeated, Andrew! I finally have all the requirements to summon it!
Andrew: No, you can't mean-!
Paul: Yes! I can summon the King Black Dragon!!!
Andrew: NO!!!
(Paul summons the King Black Dragon)
Puss: Holy Snikklefritz!!!
Snikklefritz: Yes?
(Puss and Snikklefritzs are killed by the King Black Dragon)
Later...
(The King Black Dragon advances on Bonan)
Paul: Now you are doomed, Andrew! Mwuhahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Andrew: No!!!
Bonan: Time to yodel!
(Bonan yodels, which is so horrible I can't describe it, causes a rock slide and kills the King Black Dragon)
Paul: NO!!!
Mod Poppy: Andrew Gower is the winner!
Paul: No fair! I demand a recount!!!
Thorblade4's House...
Thorblade4: Congrats Bonan. "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

17-May-2009 22:09:10

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Bono: Uh, Thorblade4? I'm Bono.
Thorblade4: Oh, sorry. My mistake.
Dark Empire HQ...
D4rk L0rd: How well those infernal adventurers get along. But one of them works for me and will betray those adventurers!
Mustkill126: And who is it, D4rk L0rd?
Yoshi Xd: Yes, who?
D4rk L0rd: Why spoil the surprise? The traitor will reveal themselves soon...
Next Chapter: Chapter 89: Reunion with Blue "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

17-May-2009 22:09:34

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