Let's get to the story! Ralph, being our woeful protagonist, lived in Falador. He probably still does. But that's enough about him.
Urgh, Fnarg (sorry, Fnurg) and Jim lived on that peninsula a little south and a bit to the right of Falador. No really, it is to the right. Remember we're facing south. The peninsula has a name too, but that's not important here. As you know with this story, I am holding very clearly and precisely to the relevant information only, so stop worrying about what the peninsula itself is called. And I know there are more than three hobgoblins that live there, but only three are relevant to this tale, so I'd like to please ask you to stop distracting me with meaningless tangents.
Talking of meaningless tangents, did you know that “insipid” comes from in- (meaning 'not') and -sapid (meaning 'tasty and agreeable')? Guys, a word of caution here: next time you're out looking for a hot date and you engage a tasty and agreeable chick in conversation, don't call her sapid. It hasn't worked for me even once.
There is a central tenet of the peninsular Shneegratt'akthurr tribe (in case you were wondering, shneegratt- means “the doing thereof” and -akthurr means “deeds which are daring”, hence “the doing thereof deeds which are daring”, hence derring-do) to which all Apricorns hold an unshaking and unwavering allegiance.
“Thou shalt...”
(Tenets, commandments and whatnot always start with “thou shalt”)
“Thou shalt never leave the peninsula, even though we don't care what it's called”
The reason for this is very simple of course. If you're forever gadding off about the place how can you expect any self-respecting author to affix the label “peninsular” to your tribe? It would break down the entire structure of this literary work. So I'll keep my hobgoblins safe and sound on that peninsula thank you very much. And we've forgotten about Ralph already.
The end.
Oh, did you ever look up 'celatinate'?
~Dreamweaver~
Apr, 2011
11-May-2011 03:41:46
- Last edited on
11-May-2011 03:57:57
by
Dreamweaver
