forums.rs

Forums

Dreamweaver's Assorted Tales

Quick find code: 49-50-691-49415905

of 78
[#RPODNYMC7]

[#RPODNYMC7]

Posts: 2,428 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Hello!This stor written by ( Dreamweaver ) has been chosen by boogy hag the owner and sole worker of The Best Tales Of Forums to join the ranks among other legendary storys and authors.We want to make sure your ok with having your story included in the thread so please decline or accept this invite.If you decline please mention why.Quick find code: 49-50-593-57163683

12-Jul-2008 02:19:32

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Thanks Boogy Hag! A mention elsewhere is always very much appreciated! I replied on your thread as requested.
And Brent, please do add in the thread title and quick-find code of your League. I'd be very interested to know where it is, and be very happy for others to be able to find it if they read your post here.
Dreamweaver

12-Jul-2008 05:46:51

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
.o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o.
<~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ TWENTY PACES ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~>
'o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o'

Denulth, the Burthorpe commander, was drinking in the Toad and Chicken when a shadow fell across the front of the inn.
He calmly ordered another Asgarnian, then slowly turned to look.
The double doors swung forcefully inwards and a monstrous shape appeared on the threshold. The doors swung back again just as sharply, catapulting the looming figure back into the street.
A few moments later, they creaked open slowly and a huge troll, stooping double, squeezed cautiously into the room.
"Gnar! What coward jus' kicked me out? All oi wanted wuzza drink."
Denulth stood, pushing his barstool back with a clichéd scrape.
"Your kind ain't welcome here, Mister Whatever-your-name-is."
"Troll-With-No-Name," responded the troll.
"Say what?"
"Troll-With-No-Name. Mam 'ad no food when I wuz born so I dint get named anyfin," explained Troll-With-No-Name carefully.
"Uh, right. Troll-with-no..."
"No, it's me name. Use capitals."
Denulth cursed angrily. "Troll-With-No-Bleeding-Name! Darn it, I've forgotten my lines now." He reached for his well-worn Western phrasebook.
"Ahh, here. I don't reckon there's enough room in this town for both of us. I'm..."
"Higher ceilings would 'elp. Me neck's killin' me," replied Troll-With-No-Name practically.

~continued~

24-Jul-2008 07:07:07 - Last edited on 24-Jul-2008 17:25:59 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Denulth screamed loudly.
"You're COMPLETELY ruining the mood and the author's running low on words. BE QUIET! Here's what we do! I say there ain't room for both of us, blah-blah-blah, you ask me who do I think I am? I tell you I'm the law. I should have a star-shaped badge but it's not been written into the object database yet. Then we step outside to duel."
Troll-With-No-Name blinked confusedly.
"We pull out our six-shooter 'fixed devices' and each load a single red-dyed toad. I just need to write your name on this one. Then we stand back to back, walk twenty paces, turn and fire. Whoever's left standing takes the yet-to-be-implemented star badge and runs the town. Capiche?"
In the interest of brevity, the reader must assume that those events did indeed transpire, so we'll skip to the part where Denulth and Troll-With-No-Name are striding apart, 'fixed devices' loaded and ready.
"Eighteen... Nineteen... Twenty!"
Denulth span around sharply, leveling his 'fixed device.' Pulling the trigger, he launched his amphibious assault with deadly aim.
Splatch! The toad landed harmlessly in the deserted street.
"Darn it," muttered Denulth. "I knew twenty troll paces were too many."

~Dreamweaver~
July 2008

24-Jul-2008 07:07:50 - Last edited on 24-Jul-2008 07:59:06 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
.o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o.
<~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ THE PERFECT CRIME ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~>
'o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o'

Detective Reldo was floundering. Farmer Fred's sheep were all dead.
No adventurer had been in the field recently and there was no sign of projectiles, shears or magic anywhere. Sheep weren't even supposed to be attackable, yet every last animal was lifeless.
"Count again," Reldo instructed Fred. "Once more."
"Wait, I'm missing one," Fred gasped. "Cripes, I don't see that weird one with webbed feet anywhere."
It was fishy, alright.

.o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o.
<~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ VERY WEAK STONE SOUP ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~>
'o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o'

That reminds me of the time the Wise Old Man visited Fred, asking for some lunch.
"Are you kidding?" snapped the farmer. "My sheep are dead. I can't feed moochers like you."
"Yes you can," replied the Wise Old Man. "Let's make stone soup. We just need hot water."
So Fred got some water boiling, then the Wise Old Man tossed in a rock.
"Excellent! Just add some potatoes, onions, carrots and mutton and we'll be set."
Fred stared, bewildered.
"How did you get 'Wise' in your name? That was the most unconvincing rendition of 'Stone Soup' I've ever heard!" he scolded, kicking the Wise Old Man off his property.

~Dreamweaver~
July, 2008

24-Jul-2008 07:08:35 - Last edited on 24-Jul-2008 08:00:45 by Dreamweaver

Quick find code: 49-50-691-49415905 Back to Top