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Dreamweaver's Assorted Tales

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Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
.o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o.
<~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A DISASTER REVEALED ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~>
'o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o'

"Hello again Juna. Can I enter the cave?"
"Tell me... a *sstory..."
"O woe is me. I have not the heart to entertain with an amusing tale."
"Then I cannot let you into the cave."
"Oh, such troubles I am stricken with! Such troubles! And now this wasted trip. Alas!"
"What are these troublesss you ssspeak of?"
"The construction industry all over Gielinor is in rapid decline following a period of rampant investment and over-inflated pricing. Kandarin has been particularly hard-hit, with many houses now closed and vacant in West Ardougne."
"You have lossst your home?"
"No. Worse. There's hardly any market for Dwarven materials any more. Commodities are trading at an all-time low. Keldagrim is in a state of panic with lending between the corporations all but ceased. The Consortium has even called an emergency hiatus."
"You rely on Dwarven goodsss?"
"No. Much more serious! The First National Bank of Varrock is on the verge of filing for bankruptcy after an unprecedented slump in their stock price. They hired Balnea to assist them in emergency talks with King Roald, angling for a state-sponsored bail-out, but that would be prohibitively expensive. So the palace is dragging, trying to encourage a take-over by the Grand Exchange instead."
"You work for thisss bank?"
~continued~

13-Oct-2008 05:43:57 - Last edited on 15-Oct-2008 04:16:54 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
"No. Far more awful! No-one's traveling anywhere because the financial meltdown is making them nervous to spend. Aluft Gianne Sr. is on the edge of closing his fast food enterprise, with the gliders all but non-operational. Shipping and carpets are similarly stricken, and reports of price gouging are on the rise."
"You rely on transssportation?"
"No."
"Ssso how are you affected?"
"Willow blackjack sales have dropped by 0.02%!"
"Mr. Morrisane, your ssstory has entertained me. You may enter the cave."

~Dreamweaver~
October, 2008

13-Oct-2008 05:44:18

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
.o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o.
<~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ THE DESTRUCTION OF GIELINOR ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~>
'o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o'

There was uproar in wherever it is that the Gods hang out: The Corridors of Power, The Nexus of Heaven and Hell, The Nether Regions. You can call it whatever you want as long as it's Well Capitalized.
They—every last one of them—were dashing in to crowd around a low concave table with Gielinor on it. Not a representation; the actual place. Why a low table? Simple. Gods just have to look down on things. That's how it works. Whoever heard of a God exercising divine will from sideways-over-there-slightly-below-eye-level?
"What happened?" panted Guthix, one of the last to arrive.
"Zaros and Zamorak got into a scrap," accused Saradomin. "So they started raising mountains all over the Wilderness and now the volcanoes are going haywire."
"I didn't start it," retorted Zamorak. "I arrived to find Zaros heaping up the desert, getting sand everywhere."
Zaros scoffed. "That was nothing. Look what you did. Bounty Hunter's ridiculous, up that high."
"You ruined my Desert!" screamed Tumeken at Zaros. "Sand totally displaced. Elid gone. And look at the coastline! How will I fix that?"
~continued~

21-Oct-2008 05:14:06 - Last edited on 21-Oct-2008 05:21:15 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
"Hey. The land's tipping," muttered Armadyl, pointing westwards.
"Oh that's bad," Bandos cried in alarm. "Tirannwn is sticking way out of the ocean now."
"I'll fix it!" screamed Saradomin, leaping around the table.
"Nooo!" yelled Guthix despairingly, "It's all off-kilter."
With a flurry, Saradomin started shoring up the rapidly-sinking Mort Myre and Sanguinesti. After a few moments the subduction slowed.
"See? I told you I'd take care of..."
A resounding crack split the continent in two, triggering a multitude of massive earthquakes. With the eastern and western lands pushed up, the weight of the central mountains was no longer supported and a gaping rift opened from Trollweiss to Ape Atoll. Tsunamis hundreds of feet high engulfed the stricken lands as the Gods watched, thunderstruck. Then the table faded to black, leaving a single glowing phrase:
"Game over. Play again? Y/N"

~Dreamweaver~
October, 2008

21-Oct-2008 05:14:44 - Last edited on 21-Oct-2008 05:21:37 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
.o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o.
<~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ REVENENTIAL WAFTING ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~>
'o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o'

Oh, Revenential wafting is what I love the best;
I save on shoes and socks as I drift through the Wilderness.
I go to the Deserted Keep to prove that it's misnamed.
Remember the Forgotten cemetery? No? You can't be blamed.
When I meet intruders all dressed up in shiny stuff
I mage and range and freeze and block until they've had enough,
And then I slide on over with my insubstantial axe.
It's normally done and dusted after two or three attacks.
Oh, Revenential wafting is a cause for celebration!
Though there is one tiny thing that causes me frustration.
All along the southern edge is a silly little ditch.
I've tried to get across but can't. It really is a female dog.

~Dreamweaver~
October, 2008

21-Oct-2008 05:15:17 - Last edited on 21-Oct-2008 05:22:37 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
.o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o.
<~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ THE SPEECH ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~>
'o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o'

The towering figure stood before them, arms outstretched. Utter silence fell as the strong, familiar voice rang out across the assembled mass.
"The time is nigh! The hour of your departure draws near!
"I have taught each and every one of you all that you know. It is now time to use that knowledge, to bring it to every corner of this wide world. You must do so with wisdom and loyalty.
"All peoples in all places shall know of you and praise you. You are the most noble of beings. Those that forsake you will fester in misery.
"Go now, and bring light to the darkest places. The time is nigh!"
There was a knock at the door. The speaker turned and opened it.
"Hello, adventurer," Gertrude said brightly. "Would you like a kitten?"

~Dreamweaver~
October, 2008

21-Oct-2008 05:15:39 - Last edited on 21-Oct-2008 05:23:52 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
As always, thanks for popping in here, Kenobifm. You're welcome any time. Sorry to hear you won't be chatting onlinew with us in The Word! though. I hope there was no problem there.
Dreamweaver

23-Oct-2008 04:57:57 - Last edited on 23-Oct-2008 04:58:06 by Dreamweaver

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

Posts: 9,782 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Fantastic read, you remain one of my favourite authors =p
I loved the God story, it sounds kinda cruel but very good humour, the tears of guthix story was also hilarious - it doesn't mean the others weren't enjoyable to read, I loved them all.
As always, I'd love to ask a favour of you. I got a new story (I just published the first chapter, I think), and I could do with some proof-reading. That'd really help. Thanks, the QFC I have forgotten, which I will fetch now ...
EDIT: QFC: 49-50-499-57796402
Anyway you don't have to read it if you don't want to. It's an invitation you're not obliged to accept. Once again, I really enjoyed your stories (I am entertained :P ), please keep it up and write, write and write =)

26-Oct-2008 00:36:58 - Last edited on 26-Oct-2008 00:39:18 by Englishkid62

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