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Dreamweaver's Assorted Tales

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Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

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These days I spend a great deal of time among my friends in the Seer's village and I even hew some of the trees that grow around here myself. But I do so, knowing that my actions are in accordance with the will and whim of the spirits, and I pay regular homage to both the spirit trees and the Gnomes to give thanks for the wondrous lands in which we dwell. Occasionally, a tree spirit will come to protect its charge and at those times, I will back away respectfully, bow and hold my arms aloft in supplication. In such ways is the balance of nature maintained and all our lives enriched.
So the next time you set your axe against the trunk of a stately oak, a weeping willow or a mighty mahogany, perhaps you will do so with as much understanding and reverence as I.

~Dreamweaver~
Nov 2003

10-Aug-2007 04:06:56 - Last edited on 10-Jan-2008 18:23:59 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
.o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o.
<~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ THE STABLE BOY AND THE SHIELD ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~>
'o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o'

Through my own interviews with several notable citizens of Varrock, I, Reldo the librarian, am honoured to provide you with this intriguing and little-known tale of Varrock’s recent history.
My story begins in the year 141 of the Fifth Age, when King Roald was but a young ruler over a peaceful kingdom. His lands were fruitful, his people were happy, and the doors to his palace were open to all.
But not everyone was happy. Captain Rovin, the stern, demanding officer of the palace guard, had just caught a young stable boy diving into the horses' straw.
“Boy!* the Captain barked fiercely, “Stop yer playin’ an’ look lively!”
“Sorry sir, I tripped over the bucket and f…”
“Enough! I have an urgent task for yeh’. The King needs his shield cleaned but ‘Orvik the armourer is too busy to come to the palace ‘imself. You will take it to ‘im instead.”
“I have to ask the king for his shield?”
“Certainly not! It's upstairs in the arms room. First door on the left. Go quick; it’s gettin’ dark already. And ‘ave it back ‘ere by tomorrow mornin’!”
So, shaking straw from his hair, the scruffy lad scampered off to find the arms room. But which staircase did Captain Rovin mean? He climbed the steps from the kitchen, but there were doors everywhere. Was it right or left? He followed the drab passageway, disorientated. Then he noticed a dark door recessed into the wall ahead of him. Perhaps this was the place! He pushed it ajar on its squeaky hinges and peered into the gloom. The room was crammed full of dusty objects: swords, chests, statuettes and armour. And there in the corner was a large shield.
~continued~

10-Aug-2007 04:07:02 - Last edited on 30-Dec-2009 08:11:25 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The young boy snatched it up and immediately realized he had not accounted for its weight. He struggled to keep balanced, stumbled forwards, reeled sideways and fell over a helmet on the floor. With a sickening cracking sound and a huge puff of dust, the shield landed on one edge, crashed to the floor and lay still. In horror, the boy inspected the shield. It was cracked along its length, but was still in one piece. No one would know he had caused it. Lifting it gingerly up to his shoulder, he staggered out of the room.
Gregor, the evening guard, was patrolling the courtyard, as was his job. His job was not strictly to sit on the edge of one of the fountains and hum, but it was nearly nightfall, and there did not seem to be much threat of an invasion at that moment. But suddenly, a dark figure ran past him, bearing a fearsome shield! The guard toppled backwards into the fountain with alarm, a-spluttering and a-yelling. The commotion brought over some other guards, just in time to see the soggy Gregor clamber back onto dry land.
“Oh it was terrible! An assassin as dark as night, and armed to the teeth!” he squawked. “I swung, I ducked, I riposted! I nearly stopped him, but he escaped behind his big shield.”
“A big shield? We must call Captain Rovin at once!” the other guards cried.
Moments later, they were clustered into the northwest tower, talking to their officer while a sullen Gregor dripped slowly onto the rug. No sooner had their story been told than Rovin himself sprang down the stone steps, sprinted through the palace, up a different staircase and along a corridor before stopping short at a dusty door. The door was ajar! The captain peered nervously into the gloom, but his worst fears were realised. The Shield of Arrav had gone!
~continued~

10-Aug-2007 04:11:33 - Last edited on 10-Jan-2008 18:29:13 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Despite the late hour, Captain Rovin hastened to the royal chambers for an immediate consultation with the king.

“Yes, Yer Highness. Vanished. I checked the storeroom meself.”

“Oh dear, dear. Oh dear oh dear. This is terrible, Rovin. This is a disaster!” yelled King Roald frantically. “We must call the knights, we must alert the nobles; we must recover that shield!”

“At once, Yer Majesty. Yer knights will scour the lands ‘til it is found!”

Captain Rovin called an immediate meeting with the knights who, thankfully, seemed to already be hot on the trail of the mysterious thief.

“I have heard of artful plotting coming from Al Kharid!” stated one. “I will hurry to the desert oasis for a few days to discover what I may.”

“My aged parents in Falador keep their eyes open for me,” offered a second. “I will visit them to see what I might learn.”

“I should take some time to fish near the barbarian village,” suggested a third. “I can listen to what the locals have heard.”

With the knights already leaving, and the palace quiet once again, the captain could do no more. So he returned to his tower for some fitful sleep.

~continued~

10-Aug-2007 04:11:41 - Last edited on 10-Aug-2007 05:11:57 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The following morning, the young stable lad returned to the palace, carrying the now cleaned and polished shield on his back. Immediately, a cry went up from the guards!

“The boy has the shield!” they yelled!

Word spread around the palace like wildfire. A hero had already successfully returned with the shield! Captain Rovin ran to meet King Roald, who asked him which brave knight had so quickly succeeded in his quest.

“I do not know,” answered the captain, “but we shall soon see. Here ‘e comes now.”

Cheering crowds herded the bewildered stable boy into the royal chambers, where he came face to face with the captain and the king.

“Well!” gasped Captain Rovin, “that is... surprisin’!”

“Thank you, captain.” replied the king, “I was just about to ask you for his name.”

And so it was that the lowly stable boy became the celebrated Sir Prysin, and the fabled Shield of Arrav was returned. From that day on, it was proudly exhibited in the city’s museum -- at least until it was stolen again two years later. But that, of course, is another story.

-- Reldo, librarian of Varrock


~Dreamweaver~
February, 2007

10-Aug-2007 04:11:45 - Last edited on 10-Aug-2007 05:13:19 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
.o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o.
<~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ WINO THE RHINO ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~>
'o~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~o'

Wino the Rhino was crashing through the undergrowth of deepest, darkest Karamja.
Of course she was crashing. Rhinos are not too skilled at tiptoeing, even under the most favorable circumstances, and Wino was not under those sorts of circumstances at all. The problem with Wino was that she adored — nay, she was completely addicted to — the fermented berries of the bingle-bingle bushes that grew on the eastern side of the forest. They made her skip. They made her prance. They made her cross-eyed. But most of all, they made her confident enough to bat eyelashes at Gruffle, the most magnificent bull her side of the Willawongo river.
She had never actually spoken to Gruffle, but she gazed at him a lot, and she was sure that he had seen her and was almost ready to come and say hello. So every few days, Wino would make the long trek from her home near the sandy banks of the river to feast upon the soft ripe berries of the bingle-bingle bushes, and stagger back, horns every which-way, to lean seductively (if wonkily) against a tree, gazing into Gruffle’s territory, waiting for him to finally notice her.
~continued~

10-Aug-2007 04:11:49 - Last edited on 09-Feb-2012 05:03:12 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

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Wino was an attractive beast, and deep down she knew it. Her belly hung with a curvaceous low bulge from her haunches, her calves were thick and wrinkled, and the folds of skin across her back and sides drew the admiring eye across massive flanks to her shapely elephantine thighs. Her neck, though stubby, sloped just slightly up to her weighty head, sporting eyes as beady as black marbles, ears that could twist independently like leaves in a monsoon, and horns that curved upwards gracefully, with only a hint of scraggly wear at their tips. But she was particularly proud of her lips. They were wide and fleshy. The upper one overshadowed the lower by an impressive margin, and she was sure that Gruffle couldn’t get them out of his mind when she curled them seductively at him from behind the liana vines.
But unfortunately Wino had another problem, in the shape of Rarl. Rarl was an ugly, smelly rhinoceros who seemed to have a particularly close relationship with most of the dung-flies in the forest. Every time Wino went to eat bingle-bingle berries, Rarl would be there, leering hungrily at her, making suggestive snarling grunts while she was trying to eat. It was very off-putting. Worst of all, he had been edging closer and closer each time she had visited recently, and she was getting decidedly nervous. But she knew of no other place in the entire forest to find the bingle-bingles, so what choice did she have?
Today started off no differently than many previous days as she made her way east to the bingle-bingle bushes. But when she got there, Rarl was already waiting. He was not just waiting; he was panting. The air was filled with noxious vapours from his nose and the sound of his throaty wheezing even drowned out his thick cloud of flies. Today he was not going to leave her alone.
~continued~

10-Aug-2007 04:11:56 - Last edited on 09-Feb-2012 05:12:12 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Wino ate hurriedly, snuffling up as much from the ground as she did from the bushes themselves because, even though the twigs scraped annoyingly against her gums and she had to spit out a few beetles, it made for much faster eating. But all the time, Rarl stared at her, inching slowly forwards, horns and ears all pointing right at her.
After just a few minutes, Wino’s belly was nearly full of bingle-bingle juice and the effect was starting to relax her. But suddenly Rarl made his move! Almost without warning he broke into a run right at her, clearly intending to not let her escape the grove. She turned, and — more by luck than judgment — narrowly missed an aged banana palm that Rarl crashed soundly into. Yellow fruits and a couple of indignant spider monkeys rained down from above as Wino continued her headlong dash into the jungle to escape from her fierce would-be suitor.
Not sure whether Rarl was still trailing her, but not daring to slow down and look, the rest of her return sprint through the trees displaced a colony of baboons and a medium-sized anthill, and she was nearing the Willawongo before even the local wildebeests had finished their evening bathe. But as soon as she rounded the final bend (and there had been a lot of bends), her jaw dropped.
Gruffle was standing in HER territory, right next to the liana vines, waiting for her! She back-stepped hurriedly, and ducked down behind a prickle-shrub. Unfortunately, the space was already occupied by a porcupine, who — after discovering that reversing into a rhino was about as effective as pushing quills into solid rock — fled with a piercing shriek. Wino’s cunning hiding place was not improved by the fact that her back end stuck out beyond the bush by several feet, though, to her credit, her eyes were hidden, which stopped her from being able to see Gruffle staring at her.
~continued~

10-Aug-2007 04:12:00 - Last edited on 09-Feb-2012 05:18:38 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
After a few minutes of silence (the porcupine had found a log to hide in on the other side of the clearing), Wino cautiously lifted her head, and found herself staring right into Gruffle’s frowning grey eyes. Sighing in a throaty kind of way, she stood up as sheepishly as a rhino can and faced him.
He looked disapproving. She breathed at him, curling her lips as seductively as she could, vaguely aware that a puff of fermented bingle-berry wafted over to Gruffle, who wrinkled his nose. Oh no! Did he actually disapprove of the bingle-bingles? Perhaps he hadn’t tried them himself. Surely he would appreciate the taste, the smoothness, the occasional insect, and the foggy happy feeling that came about afterwards. He’d like that, right? He actually winced. Oh how shameful! How she wished she had not eaten from those bingle-bingle bushes now!
But wait, there was something else in Gruffle’s eyes that she had not noticed previously. Of course, she’d never seen him this close before. His thick, powerful legs held up a frame of impressive magnitude. The impenetrable grey skin folded across his bulky frame, so healthy and fat that scarcely a muscle rippled beneath its surface. An adorable line of coarse tufted hair sprouted along his back from tail to nape. His neck was huge but his head was huger, bearing impressively long horns and a mouth wider than a giant millipede was long. But that brought her back to his eyes.
Despite his disapproving demeanor, Wino was sure that his eyes held some affection for her. She had not been mistaken when she thought that Gruffle had been gazing back as she hid among the liana vines. Her heart gave a flutter, and Wino had a big heart. Her knees buckled, and she had stocky knees. But there was no doubt about it: Gruffle liked her!
~continued~

10-Aug-2007 04:12:05 - Last edited on 09-Feb-2012 05:22:57 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
But wait. There was something else in his eyes. A sense of concern, an undisclosed worry as if he was almost asking for her help. He was nervous; agitated to such a point that she couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed it before. Gruffle seemed to realize that she knew, and was no longer making any secrets about glancing over towards some dark undergrowth a short distance away.
Wino squinted carefully into the gloomy brush. There was nothing there aside from the dense plants and four dark stumps. Or was there? Yes! There was another rhinoceros in there, and it knew it had been seen. All of a sudden it came crashing out of the bushes towards Gruffle and her. It was a raging cow, blatantly furious at Gruffle for even dreaming of associating with another female ungulate. Gruffle shuddered, clearly wanting nothing more than to be a very long way from this particular individual.
But at that moment there was another disturbance behind Wino and the scary bulk of Rarl smashed through a stand of mangroves, spilling roots and tree frogs into the river. With a triumphant squeal he spied Wino and made towards her, eyes blazing.
Wino and Gruffle found themselves backing away together, pressed close against each other, trapped on the river bank, backing closer and closer down the muddy slope towards the water. The fearsome female approached from the left while the stinking Rarl approached from the right. Just when Wino was on the verge of panic and was seriously contemplating diving in with the crocodiles, Rarl and the female saw each other and immediately skidded to dramatic halts, spraying sand into the air.
~continued~

10-Aug-2007 04:12:10 - Last edited on 09-Feb-2012 05:28:55 by Dreamweaver

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