To start out, this has to be one of the best stories I've ever seen written - Anywhere. If it wasn't 2 am, I would have read it all again.
25/25 - The content inside your story. I don't grade on leangth.
25/25 - How detailed your story is.
25/25 - If your story flows.
20/25 - Grammar usage
The content was 100% original, I seem to be the only one who read your first post about how your title was somewhat unfitting now.
Your story couldn't have been more detailed if you described the look on every single person's face down to the last wrinkle.
I noticed that your story flowes easily, and can probably be understood by about anyone. Most of RuneScape and the people reading this, are probably 10 years old and below, so no one can write anything too complex.
As for grammar, your word choice was awe inspiring. You did do some errors though. Check your periods, and hitting the Enter key every once in a while, like everyone said (post 3) would really help you out I think.
Overall, a solid A+
16-Jun-2007 08:13:27