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For the hell of war

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Frod Hound

Frod Hound

Posts: 1,408 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
If you don't have time then don't write a story. When you write a story you need dedication.
And you should stop insulting everyone else's stories. I saw what you said on that last guys story.1) He wasn't copying you, it's a very common genre. If anything you're copying Rammal and his story Runescape: A World at War.
2)It was good.

17-Dec-2009 02:12:17

void pointer

void pointer

Posts: 384 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Can you find people who can relate to modern war with guns? Only people who have fought in wars. Also, this is ancient warfare with swords and shields and bows and magic, so don't make it seem like something it isn't.
It seems like the majority of this story is influenced by trendy Xbox 360 games, like Halo and Call of Duty. Also, why did you go with making a cheasy war story with little detail and cookie-cutter plot in a short amount of time rather then a great story with amazing plot and things you never expected.
If you haven't noticed, your fans haven't been posting lately. That is becuase your story leaves no lasting impression and there isn't much to talk about when you're finished with it. And you don't seem to have read your story over your self as there are many spelling errors and errors such as him saying he has a wife and an only son, then saying he has a wife and a daughter
Read your own story, and don't flatter yourself and say you don't have the time, becuase your story hardly takes any time to read over.

19-Dec-2009 20:08:20 - Last edited on 19-Dec-2009 20:10:30 by void pointer

Oss Spy
Jan Member 2022

Oss Spy

Posts: 3,099 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Those aren't spelling and grammar errors, in fact, if you would learn something, that is what's known as 'not lining up', and the reason my fans don't post is because IT'S NO LONGER UPDATED. You and everyone else seem to think I based my story off a video game. No, in fact, I based it off reality. The reality is that war is hell, and it so happens that war games mimic that (what a shock!) As far as the Halo thing goes, maybe you should look up the UNSC Marine Corps clan thread?
I based my story on a war that happened between the UNSC and the Covenant, you can check the war record if you don't belive me.
A short story isn't meant to last, it is meant to make an impression. A man's wife left him right after he experienced the horrors of war, and he commited suicide. How does that not have an effect? I modeled the end of that part after the suicide of my best friend, so you can gtfo if you have any issues with it. If you don't believe me, why don't you google 'suicides of Daren Reid'? I'm sure he will pop up somewhere, he died October 2007 at the age of 13.
If you think that a great leader being killed in war doesn't leave an impression, it's because you failed to think it through. A great warrior was killed; that shows that no one is untouchable and no man is bullet proof.
If you want to post something constructive fine, but don't insult my writing ability. You poked a lion in the eye and you won't get away without a reaction that you wont like.

20-Dec-2009 03:55:52 - Last edited on 20-Dec-2009 04:00:21 by Oss Spy

void pointer

void pointer

Posts: 384 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
A short story isn't meant to last, it is meant to make an impression. A man's wife left him right after he experienced the horrors of war, and he commited suicide. How does that not have an effect? I modeled the end of that part after the suicide of my best friend, so you can gtfo if you have any issues with it. If you don't believe me, why don't you google 'suicides of Daren Reid'? I'm sure he will pop up somewhere, he died October 2007 at the age of 13.
If you think that a great leader being killed in war doesn't leave an impression, it's because you failed to think it through. A great warrior was killed; that shows that no one is untouchable and no man is bullet proof.
You modeled the ending of the story after the suicide of you best friend? You are a wonderful friend. Then you go trumpeting about it on the internet. Also, looked it up and found nothing. This is the internet, where if you say something like that it sounds like you want sympathy. Just becuase it's "Modeled" after the suicide of your buddy doesn't make it a good ending.

20-Dec-2009 07:01:39

Frod Hound

Frod Hound

Posts: 1,408 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
She left her husband...
What the hell is that! I don't care how you will come-back to this, but wives don't leave their damn husbands unless they have a real reason! Their daughter needs a father... she has one. That would make it worse giving her a step-father! It's like saying that Blackburn is dead! Who would leave their husband because they're trying to liberate Gielinor. I terrible bland and un-creative way to end a story that got off to a good start but started going down-hill because he couldn't make a decent plot.
D-day:
What the hell?
Cigarette to the face:
Exactly, tell me when Jagex made a smoking update?

20-Dec-2009 15:14:47

void pointer

void pointer

Posts: 384 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Enemy soldier- I surrender! I surrender!
Blackburn- What? What?
Enemy soldier- I surrender!
Blackburn- What? I'm sorry I can't understand you.
I notched a bolt in the crossbow at my side.
Enemy soldier- I surrender! I surren-
I pulled the trigger on the crossbow and the bolt hit him right in his heart. Blood spurted out of his mouth as he was trying to get that last word out. His body crumpled and I walked away to find Macmillian.

22-Dec-2009 19:43:17

Oss Spy
Jan Member 2022

Oss Spy

Posts: 3,099 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
You modeled the ending of the story after the suicide of you best friend? You are a wonderful friend. Then you go trumpeting about it on the internet. Also, looked it up and found nothing. This is the internet, where if you say something like that it sounds like you want sympathy. Just becuase it's "Modeled" after the suicide of your buddy doesn't make it a good ending.
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Yes, I am a wonderful friend. You obviously didn't look hard enough. I never said it was a good ending, stop assuming things that I think.

What the hell is that! I don't care how you will come-back to this, but wives don't leave their damn husbands unless they have a real reason! Their daughter needs a father... she has one. That would make it worse giving her a step-father! It's like saying that Blackburn is dead! Who would leave their husband because they're trying to liberate Gielinor. I terrible bland and un-creative way to end a story that got off to a good start but started going down-hill because he couldn't make a decent plot.
D-day:
What the hell?
Cigarette to the face:
Exactly, tell me when Jagex made a smoking update?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Wanna bet on the wives leaving husbands thing? She felt justified in her reason for leaving, and you certainly can't tell me what she was thinking seeing as how you haven't written the story. D-day simply means the day of operation, the day something is carried out. And yes, hell is what D-day is. Do most stories based of Runescape follow every update? No, in fact, they do not. A theme of this story is the horror of war. If I lit a cigarette and rubbed it out on your cheek, it would hurt like hell. Wouldn't you agree?
As for the thing Mcmrs posted, if you kill somebody, why would you stick around when yo have business to take care of? I'm sorry that you like to desecrate dead bodies and that I didn't satisfy that need.

23-Dec-2009 04:50:34

Oss Spy
Jan Member 2022

Oss Spy

Posts: 3,099 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Killing the enemy is not murder. If a man killed your entire family and he made you watch, and if you had a chance to kill him, would you let him live? I think not. You obviously don't understand human emotion. Maybe you should learn something before you call people psychotic and insane?

24-Dec-2009 02:10:07

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14-Jan-2010 03:09:37

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