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Logan Shafts
Dec Member 2023

Logan Shafts

Posts: 3,211 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Speaking of next time, I have decided to start another contest.
Due to the fact that it took me so long to grade the last contest, this contest will be somewhat special.
The main purpose of it will be to write the smallest possible story. The shortest story won't necessarily win, but the brevity of the story will be a major part of the grading.
If people are interested, let me know, and I'll arrange it.

On another note, I want to announce that I will be starting to place Administrators and Editors on this thread.
Administrators will be people who I asked, and who agreed, to help with the thread in general. I will place rules for them earlier in the thread.
Editors will be people who have shown interest in the threads purpose, and who are capable writers.
If anybody has any questions regarding this, check out my post on page 2, post 3. Beyond that, ask away. =]

09-Sep-2010 02:16:59 - Last edited on 09-Sep-2010 02:35:53 by Logan Shafts

Logan Shafts
Dec Member 2023

Logan Shafts

Posts: 3,211 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Delnaz:
I don't have time to offer you a full review, but I did read your story and I enjoyed it.
While usually I think that starting off a story with the death of a character can retract from the effect of the death (mainly because the reader doesn't care whether some obscure character dies), I think that in this case it was handled well, and you used that to further build the main character.
Your description was nice, and at first glance I didn't see any major errors.
Altogether it was a nice story, and using dungeoneering as a base for the plot seemed like a neat way to build it.

09-Sep-2010 02:54:23

Areno3

Areno3

Posts: 12,906 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I understand (I've been so busy lately, I'm surprised I could actually get on!) completely. Thanks for your criticism though, although I await a full review that grades certain areas. :) Like I said before, I'm really busy myself due to football and such, so just take your time. You could do it in two weeks for all I care. :P

09-Sep-2010 03:01:36

Logan Shafts
Dec Member 2023

Logan Shafts

Posts: 3,211 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I'm just glad to have found time to grade the contest finally.
I'll try to get around to it, but no promises.
This is one reason I'm thinking of appointing some editors, who will be here to review stories occasionally, which would make this thread a little more effective I think.

09-Sep-2010 03:42:05

Legionnaire

Legionnaire

Posts: 20,901 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Thanks for the review Logan.I actually been spreaking english since I was 3.Lol. I did however take the time to edit my story,but yet I couldn't get rid of the typos lol and missing words.I might have to do like 5 proofreadings to get it all staighten out.I also found my old copy of Writer Inc and been reading it so I can get better at writing. I still have a long journey ahead me I guess to be a good writer.Althought, I blame the typos and me not critcally examining my story before posting it for my grammer usage.
I actually in my opinion am getting better at present,past, and future writing.Now all I have to do is get better at finding missing words and looking for the typos when I type it up.I like that idea about the admins and editors and the story competion who know you might even be surprise to see how much better my grammar is because I've been writing a lot more and proofreading a lot more.That's why I haven't been posting too many stories anymore been to busy making sure they are perfect ;) .
Any adivice on how I can get better at discription as thats another of my weaknesses of being a writer. Time4Rants RIP Never Forget! 2010-2013, In Memory of Old Timer: ""I'm a doctor, not a spiritual medium!" RIP ;(
Shy Lego 2010-2011 RIP
,
Lego x LD= Forbidden Love. Legita=Forbidden Love

09-Sep-2010 21:31:01 - Last edited on 09-Sep-2010 21:32:56 by Legionnaire

Legionnaire

Legionnaire

Posts: 20,901 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The Mirror
A medium height man is standing in a dark corridor, the only light is the flickering red flames of the fire. The man is looking directly at a rectangular mirror as though studying it for scientific purposes; the mirror just looks back at the man, as though returning his blank stare. The man walks towards the flickering fire, then looks back at the mirror.
“I don’t get it. The woman who sold this so-call magical mirror said it will show me what I seek the most” the man bellows, scratching his head. * I look into the mirror, but yet the mirror shows me, only me” the man said, walking towards the mirror.
He looks closely at the mirror; the mirror reflects the man, showing his raven-color hair, his dark brown eyes. The man turns around swiftly and walks over to an oak desk. He swiftly goes through the papers, as though looking for a specific one. He picks up a wrinkled paper and puts it on the desk, smoothing the wrinkles on the paper. He begins to read the note.
“Thou who is thy owner of thy mirror, shall see what thy seek the most”.
The man grabs the paper up from the oak desk and wrinkles it into a papery ball. The man walks towards the rectangular mirror and, then stops in front of the mirror. His eyes staring directly at the mirror and the mirror reflects his look back at him; the man touches his face with his right hand. The mirror does the same. He pulls his hand off his face and the mirror mimics him, then he crosses his arms, the mirror mimics it.
A smile crosses his face and so the mirror mimics; the man walks away from the mirror. He stares at the mirror once more. He unwrinkled the paper and looks down at the sentence and he chuckles. He writes a sentence below the one already on the paper.
"I seek what was once unknown to me, but now I know what I wanted to seek. Identity”. Time4Rants RIP Never Forget! 2010-2013, In Memory of Old Timer: ""I'm a doctor, not a spiritual medium!" RIP ;(
Shy Lego 2010-2011 RIP
,
Lego x LD= Forbidden Love. Legita=Forbidden Love

09-Sep-2010 22:11:44 - Last edited on 09-Sep-2010 22:15:16 by Legionnaire

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