RuneScape Forum Archive | Shafts of Imagination

Dec

2023

Logan Shafts

Posts: 3,211 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Thanks Elite. Can I quote that? Rofl.

07-Apr-2010 17:40:26

Elitemage14

Posts: 12,429 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Of course.

07-Apr-2010 18:18:27

Dec

2023

Logan Shafts

Posts: 3,211 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Here is my newest story. And alas, I have run out of room in reserved posts. =p

Warning: To any younger or more delicate viewers, this story is quite graphic. Turn away now if you deem yourself unfit, or are just not in the mood for descriptions of torturous nature.

-=[The Future]=-

No! Not my knee.

My mind attempted desperately to numb it, to ignore the world around me. But the shearing force of pain easily pierced the too-weak defenses of my consciousness and cascaded throughout my body.

I refused to scream. My eyes were shut tightly -- they were useless either way. My face contorted of its own accord, denying me control.

A sickening snap filled the air, loud enough to be heard over my heavy gasps for air - not to mention the loud grinding made by my tormentors tools.

I felt my flesh being peeled away, nerve endings yelled at my mind, trying to find their partners.

My lips were dry. A piece of wet flesh touched them.
"Eat." I heard, followed by some chuckling.

I would not. The concept of it boggled what was left of my tattered psyche. The wrongness, the twisted insanity.

Escape was futile. Thoughts of it were wastes of time.

All four of my senses screamed at me. Why had I gotten myself into this? Why did I leave?
I considered briefly the bad choices which had led to this, but found no conclusion.

My mother had left that morning to buy a new hovercraft - she had finally saved up the money.

I had let her down. I wouldn't be there when she returned, to share in her joy.
She had always been protective. I would have said earlier that she was overly caring. But now I know, because of my blindness, why she had told me so many times that I could never venture outside.

Why I could never feel the warmth of the sun on my skin, or the grass between my toes. I could never listen to the songs of birds, as she had described them in her best attempts to calm me as a child.

I couldn't, because I was fake to them. I wasn’t a real person.

07-Apr-2010 20:49:35 - Last edited on 17-Sep-2010 19:10:26 by Logan Shafts

Dec

2023

Logan Shafts

Posts: 3,211 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

I didn't exist, or at least they ignored my existence.
But the moment I had ventured from my mother’s protective lair, I became real to them.

I had experienced the sun, the grass, and the birds - to the best of my ability. But those were fleeting memories now...

Another snap filled the air as another of my limbs was separated. The pain was so complete now that I couldn't tell which one. Still I wouldn't scream.

"This will do nicely." I heard.

"Surprisingly muscular. I wonder why apathy didn't set in - maybe this one was particularly active. That much better for the real child, I'm sure he'll be grateful." My thoughts reeled.

What right had they to choose for me, if I wanted to live or not? What right had they to assume that my body was just parts, to be used on less-damaged specimens? To be sold, for a richer boy to use, simply because he could 'contribute to society'.

Hatred welled up in the depths of my soul. For them, and for our ancestors, for the people who had let the world plummet into such a self-righteous tyranny. 'Government aid' they called it…A lie.

Now I am real, a real person.

Now I am real, a real victim.

07-Apr-2010 20:49:43 - Last edited on 17-Sep-2010 19:10:47 by Logan Shafts

TurtleMasta5

Posts: 6,041 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

I just read “To Douse the Sun”. Truly, it was amazing. It combined the great voice and description I saw in "Surprise" and "The Sun Smells Too Loud", but where they were 1 and 2 dimensional respectively, this had a so much more complex theme to it. It felt full and three dimensional. It left me thinking even after I read it once, while there wasn't much more to think about after reading the others.

One question I still have is on this quote.

"We cherish the warmth. I say, let us thank the cold. We cherish life. Likewise, I encourage you to understand death, even if you can't bring yourself to thank it."

The woman was clearly quite grieved early in the story, as proven by the quote “Tears slid down her cheeks, like thousands of delicate drops of glass, shimmering as they reflected the light of the sun, only to plunge headlong into the darkness of the soil beneath her.” Wouldn’t it be kind of a stretch to believe that a person that had minutes previous lost someone extremely important to her be preaching a message of accepting our great tradgedies as well as our great joys? Please explain.

Ps. I really enjoyed the connection to the beginning when the tree thought
“I would offer shade from anger. I would give shelter from fury.”
Connecting back to
“I knew how she felt.
Anger was the sunlight, and fury the rain, both trying to nurture the seeds of hatred in her soul.”

Very Well Written. I Look forward to reading more!

-Turtlemasta

07-Apr-2010 21:37:28

Dec

2023

Logan Shafts

Posts: 3,211 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Turtlemasta:

I wrote it that way intentionally. Remember, these are not her own words. She is speaking the words of the man she loved, the dead man.

So instead of letting anger and hatred take her over, she lives the way he would've wanted her to. She forgives, and accepts his death. My point throughout the story was that people do nobody good by acting in vengeance.

Thats why he refers to the weather cycle. Do the trees attack the winter which kills them, or the flowers mock the sun that wilts them?

No. They exist in a finite manner, the way mankind does. They can't any more fix the death of their friends by attempting to get revenge than we can.

So in life, we can choose either to continue a cycle of life by forgiving and moving on (without forgetting our loved ones), or a cycle of death by letting revenge seed itself in our souls.

She chose life. That's the story. =p

07-Apr-2010 21:47:18