RuneScape Forum Archive | Shafts of Imagination

Dec

2023

Logan Shafts

Posts: 3,211 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Thanks! ^^

And here is my first new entry in a long time - it's just a playful idea I had a moment ago and decided to jot down. It also ties into a story I've been working on for some time, though I'm not very optimistic about finishing that one.

“Dancing on steel toes”

---

“I don’t mean mimic my movement, I mean dance!” yelled the young redheaded woman, her eyes full of passion.

I began to flail my limbs about wildly, but after looking only briefly into the mirror that lined the whole eastern wall of the room I stopped and frowned, at least as much as my metallic skin would allow me to frown.

Gabrielle sighed, setting her hands on her hips. “I know you can do this, sparks.”

My name is Naissance, a clever pun thought up by my creator Don Willton, but Gabrielle always called me sparks, due to an embarrassing incident regarding the early attempts at building a system for the excretion of waste into my torso. Ever since, bathrooms have been my least favorite place.
“I want to, I really do, but perhaps it isn’t possible for artificial intelligence to cope with the concept of artful movement. You might as well ask me to paint an original picture or compose a symphony.”

She looked up at me curiously. “I thought you could do both?”

“Ah, a common misconception which has been spread by the media in an attempt to help the general public bond with me. The hope is that eventually congress with authorize the ITN to create near-copies of me to be sold for retail use. But I digress: I cannot do either. In truth all I can do is compile samples of different portions of artwork or music which have been presented to me previously. It is a fine distinction, and Don argues that humans do the same thing on a slightly less obvious level.”

(C)

30-May-2011 00:43:29

Dec

2023

Logan Shafts

Posts: 3,211 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

She nodded “Yes, we do. We learn from our experiences and compile them together and call it ‘original’ – something I think is perfectly fair, and I think you can do it to. You just need to learn to make it less obvious which parts are copies. It wouldn’t hurt to reduce your accuracy a little. A little accidental blot where it doesn’t belong can make it a lot less obvious that one part is a copy.”

Considering it for a moment, I began to bring up memories of different dance scenes I had witnessed. Suddenly, I found myself spinning about with my arms outstretched, my stomach sucked in and my heels off the floor. A good performance, I thought, except that my steel toes quickly dug their way into the wooden floor as I spun, and before long both my feet were sticking through the floorboards into the basement.

Gabrielle chuckled mercilessly at my expense. I would have blushed, but I had no blood.

“Perhaps I need real feet…”

---

That's it. Hope you all enjoy it. ^^

30-May-2011 00:44:15

Yrolg

Posts: 25,296 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

That was much better, on a grammatical and literary scale, than what I reviewed! Your improvements are very welcomed, and very well-earned, I think, after trudging through that review.

The style was different, but in a very good way. Its light-hearted feel but forward-looking end were very enjoyable.

02-Jul-2011 14:57:42

Dec

2023

Logan Shafts

Posts: 3,211 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Thanks Yrolg, it's nice to hear that from you. ^^

I have been trying to broaden my reading habits in the hopes of increasing my vocabulary. I hope it also inspires me to a more diverse writing style.

I have a lot more stories underway, most of them probably won't be posted until after October though (because that's when I'll be headed back to the states and will have more freetime).

04-Jul-2011 12:03:18

Aug

2003

Dreamweaver

Forum Moderator Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

"Dancing on Steel Toes" is excellent! I love the light-hearted feel to it, despite the obvious frustration felt by the metal dancer. It's even a weird and interesting juxtaposition that its thought process is so very logical yet human at the same time, thinning the line between AI and 'humanism' still further.

I really enjoyed it! Thought-provoking yet fanciful at the same time. Bravo!

Dreamweaver

12-Jul-2011 04:50:48 - Last edited on 12-Jul-2011 04:50:56 by Dreamweaver

Dec

2023

Logan Shafts

Posts: 3,211 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Haha, thanks Dream. I'm really close to finishing another short I've been working on for a while now. It's just long enough that I am considering making a new thread for it, though. If I get any time, I will hopefully post it sometime this weekend. =]

Still waiting on Nildi 2, btw. =p

14-Jul-2011 22:04:44

Dec

2023

Logan Shafts

Posts: 3,211 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

So you all know: I have thoroughly reworked the story which was called "waking" on page 2. I felt that the end of it was thoroughly lacking and have added 4 new posts of content to fix it (and change it a lot).

It is now called "Desiring Vice". I considered calling it "Ultimatum" instead. If any of you have an opinion on which is better or have a better name you'd like to volunteer please tell me. =]

Check it out if you like and feel free to let me know what you think. =]

15-Jul-2011 17:03:24 - Last edited on 19-Jul-2011 07:29:02 by Logan Shafts

Bolshevikova

Posts: 1,216 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

I just read 'To Douse The Sun', I really dig that concept and I dig that abstract poeticism in stories - reminds me of old Victorian poetry, you know, especially with concerns for mortality, and the concept is very similar to the school of thought at that time questioning mortality, which was a nod to Buddhists 'Impermanence' - which is exciting me at the minute (my Rogues of Ardougne is written based on those principles).

You might find it interesting, actually - there was a man who was very keen on the 'embrace death' thing, and he thought being around corpses a lot was a good way to like, appreciate life better, and he had his garden and house filled with preserved corpses, as ornaments, like. Hahaha. Which is a bit far for me, like, hahahaha.

Uh... I haven't read the rest of your stories yet but the poetic angle you're taking on that one, you might enjoy the works of Fredrico Garcia Lorca. The way you approach sentence structure reminds me of some of his works - he was a spanish poet part of the Generation of '21, really good.

My only problem with the story was, uh... Well, it seemed to step out of palette sometimes to catch scientific elements - like when she's talking about how we breathe better in the cold, or whatever. It steps out of theme a bit. But, I like it, yeah. Cool!

25-Sep-2011 16:38:20

Yam42

Posts: 1,134 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

It's a shame this thread hasn't got any attention in over a year.

I read "Cycle", "In the Grasp of God", "Toil", and "The Riddler Fox". I have to say, I loved all of them. I thought "In the Grasp of God" and "Toil" were very cleverly done. You certainly have a way with depicting the mundane in such a creative light! "Cycle" and "The Riddler Fox" both felt fable-esque when I read them, but they seemed modern as well. To me, it was an odd, yet enjoyable, combination.

Very, very well done!

EDIT: Also, kudos to you for the thread's title. It's very clever.

01-Aug-2012 15:34:40 - Last edited on 01-Aug-2012 15:37:06 by Yam42

The Level

Posts: 8,999 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Bump.

14-Apr-2014 16:08:37

Forums

Shafts of Imagination