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Logan Shafts
Dec Member 2023

Logan Shafts

Posts: 3,211 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Alright. I will try to go over my thread and identify the problems you outlined, respective to each story. Then I will finish editing some of the stories I have been working on and will rearrange the thread so that each similar story is separated by a few dissimilar ones. After that, I will probably apply for a second review (or perhaps a reconsideration of the current). =p
“I find this self-contradicting. I think that your first statement is correct and your second is incorrect.”
How is it self-contradicting? All I was saying is that when I want to write a story on a whim or as a joke, it need not be ‘deep’. I certainly don’t want all my stories to be shallow (and definitely not inarticulate), but some of them were written only for the purpose of humor and thus don’t really need to be re-worked.
"If you wanted to pick a particular story, I would be more than willing to help you rewrite it to incorporate a greater sense of empathy. "
I pick "The Riddler Fox", because I had great expectations for that story (and its un-posted counterparts) which I feel were never fulfilled. Please ignore the 'poetry' in it for now, as I don't really aspire to be a poet, and since you are certain to find it abhorrent. =p
And in regards to sentence structure, do you mean to say that the third example is a good one, and the first two are bad? Or do you think that all are good, but must be used interchangeably in order to diversify a given story? For instance, would you say that it is sometimes good to use simplistic sentences to convey simplistic thoughts, and in turn to use more complex sentences to communicate more intricate concepts?

05-Nov-2010 19:55:49 - Last edited on 07-Nov-2010 00:26:41 by Logan Shafts

Logan Shafts
Dec Member 2023

Logan Shafts

Posts: 3,211 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Ah, but it seems that the server time says it is November 7th now.
Guess my time is up. I will attempt to mend the problems you mentioned on my thread, and will apply for a second review when I think that I've fixed them to the best of my ability.
Thanks for your help, once again. ^^

07-Nov-2010 00:43:35

Yrolg

Yrolg

Posts: 25,296 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
"I agree, but in regards to some things, I am perfectly alright with them staying absent. My stories don't necessarily have to contain those elements. In fact, to my knowledge there is no template for what a story must contain, aside from the basics which define 'story'"
This is your original quote. I find this self-contradicting because you say there are zero requisites for a story to be considered a story and then you say that there is a basic definition.
Who is to determine what falls within the "basics which define 'story'"? I don't know of any entity with authority enough to preside over such an important facet of literature, and that's what I was focusing on. In my opinion, depth and literary tools are parts of these basics. I see, however, that in your opinion they aren't.

With regards to sentence structure, no format for a sentence is good nor bad. They can simply be over- and under-used. All three of my examples would be appropriate in different situations, but to amalgamate them would be appropriate in far more situations. My point in displaying all three was to illustrate that different styles and formats can have different effects. The first would be great if a small child were telling what had happened but would be redundant and annoying if used as the basis for a novel's style. By creating a salgamundi of these styles (and styles you create on your own) you will establish a good foundation upon which you can build with other devices.
I'll begin to rework "The Riddler Fox". As this is a task I have already promised you and I have taken four days from your last response (something that was both unforeseen and unwarranted) I will continue my assistance. Let us say that two days after I post "The Riddler Fox"'s update (or, perhaps better phrased, my version of it) this session will have ended. This seems more fair.

09-Nov-2010 03:29:42 - Last edited on 17-Nov-2010 23:19:01 by Yrolg

Logan Shafts
Dec Member 2023

Logan Shafts

Posts: 3,211 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Actually, I said there is no requirements for a story to be a story 'aside from' (excluding) the basics which define a story. Therefore it is not self-contradictory, though I concede (mostly due to my overly malleable self-confidence) that it was said in a rather confusing manner.
As for who defines what the basics are, I don't believe any one person did.
But you would probably agree that "congressman blink light romulan foot bag" isn't a story. Thus, because some things are not stories, there must be some things which define what things are, otherwise there would be no accurate representation of a story with which to compare to any other thing in order to determine whether either is or is not a story.
As far as sentence structure is concerned, you said pretty much what I expected. I was just checking to be sure.
Also, I apologize for my absence of late; I've had a lot of extra work to do, not to mention social events (two of my older sisters had babies recently).
Now I'm busy laughing at my attempt at using a semicolon in regular conversation...=p
Once again, thank you for investing your time here.
-Logan

14-Nov-2010 07:50:56 - Last edited on 14-Nov-2010 07:57:58 by Logan Shafts

Yrolg

Yrolg

Posts: 25,296 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I actually came across a comic from The Oatmeal about semicolons. You might check it out if you're still confused, as it just rephrased a lot of what I had said originally.
It's fully understandable that you're busy. Finals are this week at my university so I have limited free time as well.

17-Nov-2010 23:26:43

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