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Shafts of Imagination

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Logan Shafts
Dec Member 2023

Logan Shafts

Posts: 3,211 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Well thank you. Please note that the version which is posted here has been carefully refined, and is not the one I sent in, lol (though I wish it had been, perhaps it would've scored better).

iChuk pointed out a lot of things which helped the story progress more smoothly, so some credit is due to him as well. ^^

19-Oct-2010 16:20:29

Yrolg

Yrolg

Posts: 25,296 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Logan Shafts,

Hello. The following is my review for your anthology "Shafts of Imagination". Please remember that if there are any questions, comments, or particulars that you would like to address, you need only post them on either this thread or on my reviewing institution's thread within the next week.

31-Oct-2010 18:07:22

Yrolg

Yrolg

Posts: 25,296 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
This is your rubric:

Literary Tools: 100/150
--Description: 25/40
--Voice: 15/25
--Symbolism: 20/25
--Depth: 15/20
--Analysis: 15/20
--Word Choice: 10/20


Structure: 72/120
--Format: 20/40
--Grammar: 20/30
--Usage: 10/20
--Sentence Configuration: 8/15
--Basics: 14/15

Plot: 60/100
--Development: 20/40
--Intricacy: 22/30
--Consistency: 8/15
--Originality: 10/15

Other: 54/90
--Impact: 15/20
--Flow: 10/20
--Conclusion: 12/15
--Theme: 5/15
--Empathetic Ties: 7/10
--Title Relevance: 5/10

Layout: 32/80
--Introduction: 18/30
--Overall Appearance: 8/20
--Title Page: 6/15
--Chapter Configuration: 0/15


Total: 318/540, 58.9%

31-Oct-2010 18:08:48

Yrolg

Yrolg

Posts: 25,296 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The following is my rubric followed by my analysis of the differences:

Literary Tools: 90/150
--Description: 27/40
--Voice: 16/25
--Symbolism: 18/25
--Depth: 5/20
--Analysis: 13/20
--Word Choice: 11/20


Structure: 71/120
--Format: 16/40
--Grammar: 24/30
--Usage: 16/20
--Sentence Configuration: 4/15
--Basics: 11/15

Plot: 69/100
--Development: 31/40
--Intricacy: 16/30
--Consistency: 14/15
--Originality: 8/15

Other: 41/90
--Impact: 7/20
--Flow: 13/20
--Conclusion: 6/15
--Theme: 9/15
--Empathetic Ties: 2/10
--Title Relevance: 4/10

Layout: 47/80
--Introduction: 18/30
--Overall Appearance: 14/20
--Title Page: 5/15
--Chapter Configuration: 10/15


Total: 318/540 58.9%

31-Oct-2010 18:18:02

Yrolg

Yrolg

Posts: 25,296 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Scores are similar on both rubrics, which is good. Please remember that in empirical terms, my score is inflated by roughly 10 points because of "Chapter Configuration". The only acute difference between our rubrics is in the "Other" category. This is because your titles were often irrelevant or not as effective as they could have been, and little impact was made. Your conclusions were also eerily similar to one another. This is not good, because "Other" is generally the easiest category to score moderately in, but unfortunately you scored the lowest (relatively) in it. In fact, before my re-adjudication phase (to check to for bias), you had a score of only 29 points in it. This should be your major point of focus, in addition to consistencies in dialogue and character personalities.

Note: Poetry was not included in this rubric, but, if it had been, the only major portions affected would have been "Format", "Symbolism", and "Flow", and none would have been affected for the better.

31-Oct-2010 18:21:57 - Last edited on 31-Oct-2010 18:25:56 by Yrolg

Yrolg

Yrolg

Posts: 25,296 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The following is the actual review.

"Shafts of Imagination" is the compendium of literature for Logan Shafts. Written as a sort of anthology, it is a thread focused entirely on housing the multifarious short stories this author has written. Ranging from contest submissions to pieces written out of sheer enjoyment from the art, this omnibus showcases all of Logan Shafts — the good and the bad. Indeed, I struggle to find appropriate terms to classify this anthology or to define its contents because the thread itself offers no such views.

Introduced with a piece in line with the rest of the thread, Shafts of Imagination's first post is riddled with tense confusion, elementary style, and, in what will appear to the reader after a gander at any three stories housed in the thread, cliché endings. The most strikingly talented portion of this thread is not housed in the literature itself but rather in the fact that Logan Shafts was able to deliver with such unfaltering consistency a format of story that he turned it single-handedly from an original quip into an overused farce.

The entire thread is elementary, and not by means of solely literary prowess. The stories are matched impeccably with each other: novice styles are matched with amateur diction and an elementary plot to make a story that even R.L Stine readers would find too simple. Giving credit where it is do, I cannot say that the author went half-hearted into any story in this compilation. Every piece, down to the tittles of the i, is matched with an overly simplistic style. Unfortunately, the pieces are so well executed in the fundamentals that they are unbecoming and occasionally tacky to an otherwise advanced reader. To be sure, to a child newly discovered in the enjoyment of literature, these pieces offer bountiful solace. For a reviewer expecting the advancements of publishable literature, however, it was disappointing.

31-Oct-2010 18:22:39 - Last edited on 31-Oct-2010 22:00:41 by Yrolg

Yrolg

Yrolg

Posts: 25,296 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
This is not to say that every piece is riddled with the detrimental basics of the majority. Those pieces, however, that do demonstrate some semblance of literary advancement are befouled by such an assault of other errors that it might be preferable to not read them altogether. Indeed, if the literature of Shafts of Imagination were to be a food, indubitably it would be award-winning Swiss cheese: an otherwise strong flavor is presented with so many holes and inconsistencies that it still leaves you unfulfilled. In particular, two holes reign supreme: consistency and originality. Otherwise acceptable pieces are marred by lack of consistency in dialogue and characterization and lack of ingenuity in sentence formats.

A prime example of this is the improperly-titled "Synergy". What might have been an acceptable — and indeed originally plotted — story was marred by the "or something" at the end of a pretentious fox's otherwise intellectual mental monologues, "yummy" in an otherwise foreboding discussion, or disinterestingly repetitive sentences. And perhaps this latter is caused by the author's confusion about grammatical punctuation. Though he underemployed the semicolon in the first page of the thread, of the three times he actually uses it, one is incorrect. Thus sequestered with only the comma and full stop, it is no wonder that commas abound where they're better absent and periods are placed arbitrarily and with no regard for the rules of English.

All of these errors culminate into an assault against the reader; they only further exacerbate the already overbearing problem omnipresent in the collection: disregard for the audience. Excessive passive description, indefensibly past-paced action, and overtly unimpactful endings all serve to leave the reader craving. Despite having workable — if overused — plots, every story leaves the reader with no impact, having already imprudently disregarded every opportunity for its employment.

31-Oct-2010 18:22:58 - Last edited on 31-Oct-2010 22:03:08 by Yrolg

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