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Thank you! I was starting to think it was starting to not be funny Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

24-Mar-2013 01:57:23

Part 5

At the Anikarius
Ardithitine: you have all done well! You have learned all that I have to teach! Understand now that the life we lead is a dark one, and that you will be changed by your kills. You will feel regret, you will feel lost, but understand that such sacrifices are never to be taken lightly. In the old days, there was a celebration for such events. I intend to give you all the same thing I was given.
Mister Clark: Does that mean-
Ardithitine: yes all that you see is for you, the food, the drinks, the drugs, heck even my sister is a gift, she likes being ravaged by drooling men who are dumb as hell.
Ardithitines *ister: I do??
Ardithitine: Shut up, *****! DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK?!! NO SO SHUT THE **** UP! anyway, enjoy to your hearts content!
* confetti goes off. and Mister Clark and Herman run away from it*
Mister Clark and Herman at the same time: what the pinch was that?!!
Anikarius graduate: confetti! oh and look the full moon is out
Herman: *goes into the moon light*
Herman: please be a Dragon Please be a dragon please be a dragon * turns into a dragon*
Herman: YAY! *sees that he cant fly, tries his dragon breath but he has no flame breath and tries chewing some meat but he has no teeth*
Herman: DAMN YOU BANDOS!
Bandos in disguise: LOL I love doing that, Saradomin dosnt call me Bandos the Mad for nothing!
2 hours later
* everyone but Mister Clark and Ardithitine are asleep
Arithitine: it has been an honor to teach you!
Mister Clark: why end the relationship? why not help us instead?
Ardithitine: why should I help?
Mister Clark: I have a client who might have need of your services, he'll pay you for your services!
Ardithitine: You mean... a contract? I'm Overwhealmed, No one has offered me one in 5 years.
Mister Clark: look around you this place is falling apart!
Ardithitine: Your riight, the Anikarius is my child, in a way! I accept your offer! now tell me where to go!
end of part 5 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

24-Mar-2013 02:36:25 - Last edited on 04-Apr-2013 01:52:21 by Pink 4 Twink

Part 6
* at Falidor*
*Jad , Pincho and friends are dancing*
Pincho: So many humans to piiiiiiiiiiinch * wanders off to go pinch someone but Pinchy sees him*
Pinchy: Jad, Pincho is about to pinch someone!
Jad: *gasp* NO!!!!! *runs for Pinch* STOP, PINCHO! NO PINCHING!
Pincho: Me must pinch someone, or me die!
Pinchy: Stop making stuff up Pincho! You won't die! it's not the end of the world!
*While the gang is trying to convince Pincho to not pinch the human, Pinchanetto sees a smexy hermit crab lady*
*Pinchanetto walks up to her* Hey-a smexy! want to you know.......
Female hermit crab: Get lost, loser!
Pinchanetto: Heheheheh.... The feisty type-a.... You would make a fine prize!
Female hermit crab: you're drunk!
Pinchanetto: I promise you, I am quite the hit with the * gets knocked out by Pinchy*
*Pinchy drags Pinchanetto's unconscious body* *Pinchanetto wakes up*
Pinchanetto: Call me...
Female hermit crab: *Facepalm*
Pinchanetto: What's-a the big-a idea, Pinchy? me was flirting with this chicka?
Pinchy: No you were repulsing her, that's not how you get a lady! Plus you pinched off her Boyfriend
Female hermit crab's boyfriend: :I GRRRRRRRR!
*back to Pincho*
Jad: don't you dare, Pincho...!
Pincho: MUST PINCH!
*Jad picks up Pincho and puts him in hermit crab sized handcuffs*
Pincho: Dammit!
Jad: it's for your safety! if you Pinch anyone here, we will be thrown out of the city
???: That's right, And it will be impossible to get into Lumbridge without my help
Pincho: Who are you?
Jad: Pincho, This is Mud1, he is my closest friend.
Mud1: My brother Mud916 has closed the city gates on all sides, getting in is impossible for a hermit crab, But here is what he has forgotten, I have the spare key. We will talk more about this tomorrow.
Pincho: But...
???: Calm down, Pincho!
Pincho: Who are you?
???: Emo Muslim, Mud916's counterpart.
Pincho: is is that a suicide bomber belt?
Emo Muslim: yep
Pincho: *Gulp*
End of part 6 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

07-Jun-2013 22:54:23 - Last edited on 07-Jun-2013 22:56:10 by Pink 4 Twink

Part 7
*in Mud1's secret hideout*
Jad: So you are telling us that, Mud916's killed all the civilians so we could be easier to spot?
Mud1: Aye, and he has also locked the gates on all sides.
Pincho: So what is the plan?
Mud1: you are not going to like this Pincho.
Pincho: Try me!
Mud1: Emo Muslim is going to smuggle you guys in via coat pocket.
Pincho: *starts hyperventilating* Motherpincher...!
Jad and what about me? will I go in with them?
Emo Muslim: not directly, While I can sneak hermit crabs in, I cant sneak in a huge Guthix Damn troll! Fortunately, there is a tunnel system that connects Port Sarim to a house under Lumbridge. You can use that, Jad.
Mud1: Also be very aware of the fact that you have a traitor in your midst. Keep your eye out for anything... suspicious.
Pincho: is there anything else?
Mud1: Nope, Everything's been explained! Good luck! Have a nice day! Send me a postcard IF you make it out!
*5 hours later*
Pincho: I cant help but feel that Mud1 just told us to skroo ourselves...
Jad: Oh don't worry about that, he's always like that! He's a terrible friend, but still a friend.
Pincho: And he sent a flippin Arab Piece of pinch to accompany us! we're doomed!
Jad: well well well, looks like we have a racist in our midst!
Pincho: It's the truth, Clothing things in sweet words wont hide its_ OOOH SHELL
*goes and checks out the shell*
Pincho: *sniff* Something smells wrong! Timer starts beeping on shell
Pincho: Dammit it's a bomb! *Runs as fast as he can and miraculously gets out of the blast zone*
Pincho: Who puts a bomb on a perfectly innocent shell? It could have had family!
Jad: There is only one person vile enough to do that... GAAAAAATES!!!
*Gates is hiding in a bush*
Gates: Dammit nearly got that one! *Jad sees Gates and picks him up*
Gates: *Speaks in a Scottish accent* Cripes, Mate how the heck did you find me?
Jad: *Cracks knuckles and knocks Gates out*
End of part 7 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

10-Jun-2013 04:35:16 - Last edited on 10-Jun-2013 04:39:17 by Pink 4 Twink

Part 8
*Gates wakes up*
Gates: Where am I?
Jad: In Draynor Village. Tell me, something, Gates, my old friend, why hunt hermit crabs?
Gates: Not answering that question... Old friend!
*Pincho picks up a can of grape soda out of Gates' backpack*
Pincho: Look at this, Jad, Grape soda! Me has an idea!
Jad: What is it?
*Pincho opens the soda can and starts dumping the grape soda*
Pincho: SPEAK BEFORE I DUMP OUT ALL OF YOUR PRECIOUS GRAPE SODA!
Gates: NO NOT MY GRAPE SODA! IT IS WHAT KEEPS MY BLACK SELF ALIVE
Pincho: OH and what is this? *picks up welfare check*
Welfare check: check for Mister. Gates. This grants him 1000gp
*Pincho Starts tearing the welfare check*
Gates: NO THAT IS WHAT KEEPS ME ALIVE! *Starts crying* I will do anything for you!
Jad: Tell us who put you up to this, Please.
Gates: Mud916 hired me to hunt hermit crabs down and present their corpses to Mr. Cook.
Pincho: You... MURDERED THEM?! THATS HORRIBLE!
*Pincho walks away*
Jad: Were you targeting Pincho?
Gates: Yes, though, he is my most clever adversary. I hated the idea of hunting this crab!
Pincho: Thank you for saying that!
Jad: Who gave away our position?
Gates:Someone you know, Jad. You too Pincho, Someone you both know really well!
8 hours later
*At Pinchy*
Pinchy: Are we all set, Emo Muslim?
Emo Muslim: Aye, Pincho is here, we can begin.
*Pinchy, Pinchanya, Pinchanetto, Shelly, and Pincho get inside Emo Muslim's coat pocket*
Pincho: Pinchanetto?
Pinchanetto: Yeah?
Pincho: uh... never mind!
Pinchanetto: Pincho... Be careful out there-a!
Pincho: You too.....
Pincho:...
Pinchanetto: ...
5 minutes later
Emo Muslim: We are here, *unlocks the gate and takes Pincho and friends inside the house* *Lets them all go* Wait for Jad then begin...
End of Part 8 and the Chapter Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

10-Jun-2013 22:49:46 - Last edited on 10-Jun-2013 22:56:07 by Pink 4 Twink

Chapter 12: Of Crabs and Men
*On a boat*
Nasir: Hoist the sails, Facebooko, we are coming in hot!
*Facebooko cuts the closes the sail*
Nasir: Were here in Lumbridge, Facebooko, No messing up, please!
Facebooko: Yes sir!
Nasir: Now It's time to see our guests *goes below decks* how are you Herman Ardithitine and Mister Clark?
Herman: Fine, here
Ardithitine: Thanks for volunteering to take us off the island!
Nasir: I had some business to attend to On Osgalethe
*Ardithitine gives Nasir 80,000 Gp*
Mister Clark: Me no feel so good! *Barfs on Nasir*
Nasir: Oh Guthix Dammit, This was a new shirt to!I bought it off a beggar!
Facebooko: No you slashed his head off with your cutlass!
Nasir: That what buying clothing is, Facebooko!
Any way, we're here!
*Herman, Mister Clark, Ardithitine, Facebooko, Herman, and Nasir disembark from their ship
Nasir: Such a lovely city!
Herman: Ardithitine, Mud916 is this way, *leads Ardithitine into the castle and up the stairs* *Sees Mud916 drinking whiskey and tequila*
Ardithitine: Nice to see you again, Mud916!
Mud916: Master?
Ardithitine: Yep, I need to do some repairs to the Anikarius, and I hear there is a contract for Pincho! I'd like a contract.
Mud916: you, and the other 87 million people here, the line goes as far back as Taverly and Burthorpe! I can't turn you down, you're my master, I'd appreciate you meeting with our spy, tonight.
Ardithitine: That would be great!
*Nasir comes up the stairs*
Mud916: Prince Nasir! it's a pleasure!
Nasir: Mud916, nice to see you again, the man who sponsored the rebellion in my kingdom in the first place. Look I want no trouble, In fact, I need a favor!
Mud916: We can talk about restoring your family to the throne of Mjoll later. Would you go with Ardithitine to meet with our spy?
Nasir: of course!
End of part 1 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

06-Jul-2013 00:56:31

Part 2

*Jad is in the cave*
Jad: *thinking to himself* Oh sweet mother of trollburgers! it is very dark! *grabs a torch
*hears a Vampire hermit crab in the distance*
Vampire hermit crab: *Talking to high command* Are you sure?
Vampire hermit crab high command: You are to begin immediately
Vampire Hermit crab: Flooding the tunnels to get the Barrier Fragment will kill the Dwarves in the area, This is madness, We have An alliance with the dwarves!
*Jad sneaks up on the vampire hermit crab*
Jad: Which way to the house under the tunnel!
Vampire hermit crab: You've been bitten, yet you are ne vampire, you must be the one, only those of vampire blood, but are not themselves vampires may open the door,
Jad: you need help opening it, And what is exactly a Barrier Fragment?
Vampire Hermit crab: yes, and It is a very valuable artifact, we can't let the Feud between the Zombie Hermit crabs and the Vampire Hermit Crabs to get out into human cities, It will seal off the FoD until the war is over!
Jad: I'm Jad!
Vampire Hermit Crab: I'm Pinchtor. Tell you what, You help me get the Fragment, And I will lead you to the house.Deal?
Jad: deal!
Pinchtor: Ok, you need to cut off a body limb and place it on the altar!
Jad: * sigh* *cuts off a hand and places it on the altar*
Pinchtor: Squeeze out the blood onto the altar.
Jad: grabs his former hand and squeezes the blood out with his second hand
Jad: there!
Pinchtor: Ok, I will do the Incantation, Uga Uga Hermidonyo uga uga congerero uga hermit uga donio uga uga congerero, hermit uga crab uga hermit hermit Pinch!
*Door implodes*
*Pinchtor enters the doorway*
Pinchtor: It's not here! *Pinchtor sees a terminal- *logs in* Sees mud916 teleport inside the same doorway that was destroyed and he takes it*
Pinchtor: Dammit!
Jad: What about my hand?
Pinchtor: here take this hook, Cauterize the wound and place it on
*Jad does that*
Pinchtor: I will take you to the house, just as promised
end of part two Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

06-Jul-2013 01:29:06

Part 3

*In the house with the Hermit crabs*
Pincho: Laying low is next to impossible with all these humans to Piiiiiiiiinch!
Pinchanetto: I know, It is-a taking-a Jad so long-a to get here! Look I have an errand to run, No one here knows me and I can use the battle outside as a distraction, so me-a will-a see-a you-a soon-a *leaves door quietly*
Pincho: *waits for a couple of minutes* finally! time to see what Pinchanetto is hiding
*Checks Pinchanetto's suitcase* * finds a note* *reads note*
Pincho: Oh sht.... Pinchanetto.... Shelly! Pinchy!
Pinchy: Yeah?
Shelly: you called?
Pincho: read this!
Pinchy: Pinchanetto, tu bastardo.... (you *******)
*Shelly reads*
Shelly: we need to find him, quick!
Pincho: and what, Kill him? he's my mentor!
*Back to Pinchanetto*
Pinchanetto: everything is all set, Ardithitine. strike in the morning.
Ardithitine: where are the hermit crabs?
Pinchanetto: in the ruined house with the dungeon to the three headed dragon.
Nasir: lets case the joint, Ardithitine.
*Pinchanetto walks away far enough to not be heard* Please forgive-a me, Pincho...
*The next day*
*Back at the house*
Pincho: we need to leave, we are doomed if we stay here!
Pinchy: what about the quest?
Pincho: skroo the quest! we are doomed if we stay here!!
*Pincho hears a knock on the door* *Pincho slowly opens it* guards rush in and take *Pincho and his friends to Mister Cook meanwhile Pinchanetto is watching from a distance*
Pinchanetto: What have I done??
end of part 3 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

26-Jul-2013 23:46:53

Part 4

*Jad appears at the house*
Jad: where is everyone?
*Jad searches for something to find his friends*
*Jad fids a note*
Note: Jad, if you received this message, then you have to find us. The guards are almost through the door, we cannot get out. Some of them have big scary stabby stuff in their hands. me scared, Pincho
Jad: dammit, is anyone here
???: Jad is that you?
Jad: Pinchanya?
Pinchanya: me watched them take my friends into the castle. me hid under the staircase. Pinchanetto has betrayed us.
*Jad flashes back*
*8 months earlier*
Pinchanetto: So how is-a your dad?
Jad: great, and you said you are a dad yourself?
Pinchanetto: yes, let me show-a you! *leads Jad to Pinchanetto's hut
*hut is emptied*
Pinchanetto: Oh no, they've been crabnapped!
*2 months later*
Jad, have you found anything about your family?
Pinchanetto, They are in Lumbridge apparently. they are pets for the Duke.
*4 months later*
chief troll: And so, I have called this emergency meeting, One of us must go into the Forest of Doom and figure out what the ruckus is.
Jad: I will go.
Chief troll: you are already off to kill mud916.
Jad: I can do this. I need no permission, I can handle both tasks.
Chief troll: go ahead then.
*Goes to check on Pinchanetto*
Jad, you ready, Pincanetto?
Pinchanetto: as ready as I will ever be. I must save my family!
*Jad gets an idea*
Jad: Pinchanetto is being used, we have to find him.
Pinchanya: used how?
Jad: that is what we are going to find out... so here is the plan.......
end of part 4 Just your friendly neighborhood gay boy!

16-Aug-2013 02:58:27