"oozing thickly across the floor."
~Consider adding adjectives to the floor, which would enrich the image.
**
I have a hierarchy of description. I don't want people to think about the floor. It's unimportant. I want people to fixate on the blood. Forget about the rest of the surroundings; it's the only important bit as far as that sentence in concerned.
---
Of course I know about the hierarchy of description, and no, I didn't mean adding paragraphs and paragraphs describing the floor, I was only suggesting one word adjectives before the 'floor'. So instead of that maybe "Ozzing thickly across the some-thing floor." Not really sure that horror writers care about how the story sounds and stuff but maybe it's worth experimenting
P.S. Since I am now being severely put off from applying/posting on TIGA, I'll mention it here that I'd recommend you to put the posting priveleges with the rules 'no spamming', instead of putting it where the 'tips and guidelines' for writing an example shorts are. Maybe that would make more sense and people can see it in the rules right away. The other thing about being original is OK where it is though.
~Consider adding adjectives to the floor, which would enrich the image.
**
I have a hierarchy of description. I don't want people to think about the floor. It's unimportant. I want people to fixate on the blood. Forget about the rest of the surroundings; it's the only important bit as far as that sentence in concerned.
---
Of course I know about the hierarchy of description, and no, I didn't mean adding paragraphs and paragraphs describing the floor, I was only suggesting one word adjectives before the 'floor'. So instead of that maybe "Ozzing thickly across the some-thing floor." Not really sure that horror writers care about how the story sounds and stuff but maybe it's worth experimenting
P.S. Since I am now being severely put off from applying/posting on TIGA, I'll mention it here that I'd recommend you to put the posting priveleges with the rules 'no spamming', instead of putting it where the 'tips and guidelines' for writing an example shorts are. Maybe that would make more sense and people can see it in the rules right away. The other thing about being original is OK where it is though.
04-Dec-2008 09:50:47 - Last edited on 04-Dec-2008 09:51:21 by Englishkid62