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Darkest Secrets—Story Contest
Quick find code: 49-50-523-63770340
---------- One Hot Stud ---------
Judge A: The grammar of the piece is slightly flawed here and there, but it was nothing major. I found the piece slightly confusing, which made my enjoyment of it somewhat hindered. I did appreciate your efforts to give me a glimpse into Mr. Sandusky's mind, as they make him a fuller character. As I was reading, I kept trying to find some sort of symbolism in the final parts of the story, possibly because of symbolism the poem gives. Unfortunately, I could not find any, which is what mostly left me confused. In the future, try to keep your structure constant (through paragraphs, etc.) so a symbolic pattern will be clear. Nevertheless, the story kept me entertained, and I enjoyed it. (2.7/5)
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Judge B: There were elements of this story I loved, others I couldn't quite understand. The complexity lies in the computer coding bit at the beginning, as even after having read the story it still confuses me, and I am left questioning its inclusion whilst knowing that it is significant in some way, which is a difficult position for a reader to be in.
I liked the poem and how the narrator relates everyday life to it, as if he has some principles by which he avows to live by, all of which are embedded in that poem. The description is similarly effective and creates an imaginative and realistic perspective of his thoughts and feelings.
The actual secret itself is only implied, and even then it's still difficult to comprehend quite what it is. I would have liked to have seen a strong relevance in this entry to the theme, as the reader is not really left in much of a different position to that which they began in.
Still, this was an entertaining read and an imaginative approach to the specifications.
(3.7/5)
Judge A: The grammar of the piece is slightly flawed here and there, but it was nothing major. I found the piece slightly confusing, which made my enjoyment of it somewhat hindered. I did appreciate your efforts to give me a glimpse into Mr. Sandusky's mind, as they make him a fuller character. As I was reading, I kept trying to find some sort of symbolism in the final parts of the story, possibly because of symbolism the poem gives. Unfortunately, I could not find any, which is what mostly left me confused. In the future, try to keep your structure constant (through paragraphs, etc.) so a symbolic pattern will be clear. Nevertheless, the story kept me entertained, and I enjoyed it. (2.7/5)
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Judge B: There were elements of this story I loved, others I couldn't quite understand. The complexity lies in the computer coding bit at the beginning, as even after having read the story it still confuses me, and I am left questioning its inclusion whilst knowing that it is significant in some way, which is a difficult position for a reader to be in.
I liked the poem and how the narrator relates everyday life to it, as if he has some principles by which he avows to live by, all of which are embedded in that poem. The description is similarly effective and creates an imaginative and realistic perspective of his thoughts and feelings.
The actual secret itself is only implied, and even then it's still difficult to comprehend quite what it is. I would have liked to have seen a strong relevance in this entry to the theme, as the reader is not really left in much of a different position to that which they began in.
Still, this was an entertaining read and an imaginative approach to the specifications.
(3.7/5)
05-Aug-2012 23:17:04
Why the hell did I do that?
Here's the leader-board anyway if you were wondering where you've come:
Yrolg = 13.2
Chuk = 12
Cyun = 11.9
Aeraie = 11.8
Azi = 11.5
Snyder = 11.3
Worf = 11
Eno = 11
One Hot Stud = 10.1
Heretic = 7.6
Sol = 7.4
Here's the leader-board anyway if you were wondering where you've come:
Yrolg = 13.2
Chuk = 12
Cyun = 11.9
Aeraie = 11.8
Azi = 11.5
Snyder = 11.3
Worf = 11
Eno = 11
One Hot Stud = 10.1
Heretic = 7.6
Sol = 7.4
05-Aug-2012 23:46:00 - Last edited on 05-Aug-2012 23:47:17 by Cyun
Great competition!
Congratulations to both Yrolg and Chuk. You guys deserve it! (Now get to work on my review Yrolg, hahaha
)
It's great to know that there's such a deep pool of writing talent on this board.
Congratulations to both Yrolg and Chuk. You guys deserve it! (Now get to work on my review Yrolg, hahaha
)
It's great to know that there's such a deep pool of writing talent on this board.
06-Aug-2012 00:56:27
Congratulations Yrolg.
06-Aug-2012 04:36:31
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