RuneScape Forum Archive | |::Diary Of A Noob::| <>FULL<>

FriendshipUI

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DAY THRITYNINE -wrath of the desert animals-
Yoshi and I woke up today very refreshed! unforchunatly, we woke up refrshed in a lake full of crocidiles. Man that musta been some party last night. Hey! The wallet I stole is missing! "haha don't mess with the best kid" said the guard to the gate, coming out of no where. yoshi yelled out loud "AHH! THE VOICES HAVE RETURNED! i thought i got rid of them in therapy!" "to much info yo*hi" I said. "and besides, it's just that guard who I stole a wallet from without even breaking a sweat. Hey loser, how's it going?" the guard scowls. "Atleast im not dead, like you guys are!" yoshi and I pat outselves down, looking for signs of blood, cuts, deadly bruises to our vertebrae, ect. but we couldn't find anything to support the accusiation that we were dead. "we're not dead!" yells yo*hi. "oh sorry, musta skipped ahead of the story. don't worry, your death will come soon enough." and the guard walks away.
"w-what do you t-think he means by that?" studdered yo*hi. "I don't know, but what I want to know is how we're still alive when we're in a pit full of crocidiles.." that's when we noticed we were both being eaten. i know i know, it's probably something we should have noticed, but the noobness in our bodies kinda dulled out the pain and shear goryiness of the scene. I mean, yo*hi got he leg ripped off and thrown to the other side of the lake, and he didn't even flinch, that is until he noticed, then he passed out from screaming so much. he also overlooked the fact that he passed out in a lake. good thing i was there....to watch him as he drown! hahahaha! priceless!
After getting a few stitches and such, and a few bones re-attached, we were ready to go! we found this mining site in the northern part of the desert. only took us about an hour for us to get there! this desert isn't that big, huh? We stood at the entrance to the mining site.

21-Jan-2008 00:27:33 - Last edited on 22-Jan-2008 18:54:54 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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"look at all the scorpians..." yoshi said. "looks like fun!" and threw yoshi into the pit. from the yelps and yells of shear pain and terror, I could tell I was really missing out! so I jumped in! I found yoshi in a fetil postion, wimpering. "aw man yo*hi! you get all the fun!!" I yell. *hiss!* what was that! I turned around, and found 3 red-eyed scorpians advancing on me. I took out my sword and said "this is going to be fun!" one of the huge scorpians wrapped his tail around my sword, which broke free of my hands, and ate the sword whole. "o..k... that's impressive...I guess... but I guess this is a bad time to say I sprinkled some rat posion on the sword." The scorpian that ate the sword became wide-eyed and died. then the other scorpains became mad. I lunged! But sadly it was in the wrong direction and I ended up landing on some very oddly placed chewing gum. man that stuff was sticky! and to top that off, the spice girls music started playing from somewhere in the cave. IS THERE NO END TO THIS MADDENING CAVE! I cring. "the pain! turn it off!!!" the scorpians are almost upon me.
Im stuck in the chewing gum! How will I ever get out of this! In that exact moment a writer's convience occured! Yoshi instantly snapped out of the fetal postion and yelled "I'll save you!" and lunged for one of the scorpians. "don't be a hero yo*hi! that's my job!" I yelled. but it was to late! yo*hi's sword was already almsot upon the scorpian! It made contact! then something happend to the sword though.. It snapped in half! Yo*hi then looked at his sword, and returned to his fetal position. "why my sword!! WHY!?!?!" He yelled mournfully. Luckily the shard of yo*hi's sword went into the ceiling, and somehow turned off the spice girls music! all the traps are gone! "lets get out of here!" I said. yoshi was already out. he yelled back "you coming or what!?" We left that cursed place, never to return to the evilness of the spice girls.
p.s. the guard was fired for leaving his post

21-Jan-2008 00:27:34 - Last edited on 22-Jan-2008 18:55:51 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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Day FORTY - The decision -
After that dangerous ordeal, we decided to head South back to the town. But, we chose another path to get home. Along the way, we pasted by a place that people could fight without getting hurt!!!
"Omg!" Yoshi said, "we have to go!"
"Sure!" I said. We walked up to the guard that...erm...guarded the fence...see i figured it out all by myself! The guard was talking to himself saying "i should have gone to college." And ” oh dear god strike me down, i hate my life."
"oohh....its you again.." said the guard, peering up from his frozen basket of loneliness.
"oh ya! Your the guard we got fired!" Yoshi said. acting proud.
"Let us in!" i said. He opened the gate.
"Wow...that was incredibly easy...what service!" said yo*hi. Yoshi walked up to it, the guard slams it in his face. "The irony!" yelled yo*hi.
"MEMBERS ONLY!!" The guard growled.
"What is "members"?" i asked.
"I'll never tell!" said the guard.
*R. Kelly "Traped in the closet!" theme plays*
So I pull out my gun! "i'm gonna count to three, then i'm gonna put this cap in your head! He pulls out a gun and points it at yoshi, i point my gun at him. Yoshi pulls a gun, and points it at me.
"yo*hi!!" i screamed.
"oh yeah sorry, got caught up in the moment." he points his gun at the guard. Then we remember guns hasn't been invented yet, and they turn to dust.
*End of music*
We arived in town, Pondering what this "members" is.
"maybe its a type of shoe?" yoshi said.
"or maybe its a flavor of pudding..?" i responded.
hmm..So we continue South untill we reach a big wall of rock. We follow this rock untill we get to this
"pass". "what does it do?" i asked.
"it lets you into the Southern Part of the desert." a guard said.
"i'll take one!" i said.
"MEMBERS ONLY!!" the guard responded.
"of course!" said yo*hi. "Ok, i am getting sick of this! WHAT IS MEMBERS!?" yoshi asked.

21-Jan-2008 00:27:34 - Last edited on 22-Jan-2008 18:58:39 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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"well, members is a special offer where you pay Lord Saradomin 5k per month." a guard said.
our jaws droped. See! i knew saradomin was behind this!
"he must be planing a conspiracy to plot our downfall if he's massing a "members" army." yo*hi said, looking worried.
"BY THE GODS!(by which i mean me) we must do something! pack your bags yo*hi!" i said
"why noob?" he asked.
"BECAUSE! We're become members!"

~*~END OF SEASON ONE~*~

21-Jan-2008 00:27:34 - Last edited on 21-Jan-2008 00:50:52 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY FOURTYONE - A New beginning -
"Pack your bags Yo*hi! we're becoming members!!" AND NOTHING HAPPENED!!i was expecting the earth to rumble, the sky to light up with lights, and smoke EVERYWHERE! but...nothing happened.
"MAN! whata rip!" i yelled.
"cut backs in the writing staff." said a guard.
"uhhh..."i said.
So, we get to lumbridge and go to the 3rd floor where this "jagex mod" is making people members.
"Hello noble squire, i wish to become a member!" i said.
"Ok, you must agree to pay the king 5k a month." he said.
"Ok!" i said, not telling him that i would be paying it to me!! muhahaha!
He did some of this werid magic where you see this alternitive relection of yourself while staring into a pond. But then it went "The Grudge" on me and grabed me and brought me into the pond. When i came back to from "the dead, yoshi and i were at the enterance to the fighting place in the desert, the guard was there! muhaha fun time!
"HA! WE ARE MEMBERS!" yoshi yelled.
"welcome to the dual arena, enjoy your stay." he said through clinched teeth.
"how kind of you!" yoshi said.
The guard comitted sucide soon after we left.
We were shocked to see how many saradominists were there!!!
"By the gods!!!" i said, of course speaking about myself, "He is massing an army! we must stop him!" i said.
We owned some of the saras, but, even a noob knows when he must back off! i mean i could take at least a million or 2, but there were alot, they feared our hits of 5s and 6s! but this mage teloported us away before we could own them more! curses! i will figure out where i am out later, yoshi passed out during transport(ah good ol' yoshi eh?) which was werid because he wasnt drunk for the 1st time in his life! maybe his body didnt like the no beer in his blood effect.. well i am gonna hit the hay *grabs a shovel* that hay has had it to good to long!

21-Jan-2008 00:27:34 - Last edited on 21-Jan-2008 00:51:10 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY FORTYTWO -trouble in flax feilds-
When I awoke from the wizard's spell (er....I wasn't sleeping... I was resting my eyes), I tried to find out where I was! I mean, I've never been here before! That's shocking! Curse saradomin! I know he's behind this somehow! He musta sent one of his mages here so I could stop OWNING his followers at the dual arena. bah! Ok! so he's mananged to get me away from there, but you can't keep a king down! Atleast not with something that's not extremely heavy!... like maybe a giant spork. you know! a spork! the things they have a taco bell, with the- I love those things! Anywayz, I got bored of searching for a sign to tell us where we were, so I just used my map! "why didn't you just do that in the first place?" asked yo*hi. "to kill time and make this diary entry longer!" I snapped back. "oh." He said. "according to this map, we're in a place called.... 'cam loot'... huh that's a funny name!" "we better not rob the bank, they must have good security!" yoshi inquired.
Being in a new placed perked both of our curiosity. Actually I wanted to go fishing. wouldn't have that been an exciting day!? you guys woulda liked that! Anyway, yo*hi's enthousiasm made me and him go south. as we were walking, we heard a scream! "lets go check it out!" yoshi said. "ya, they might have money on them!" I yelled, worried. we found out that this enclosed feild, called the "flax feilds", were totally on fire! with ppl still inside! we had to do something! Luckily, there was a bee hive place right next to it (ooc: lol I'm not making this part up. )(bic Yoshi followed me to the bee hives, and we collected all the honey and threw it on the fire! which ended up making matters worse, cuz now the feild was on fire, AND the people couldn't move from the stickiness! ya we just gave up and watched them died... can you say "photo oppritunity"? and me without my camara! they were saradominsts, I don't know why I considered helping them in the first place!

21-Jan-2008 00:27:35 - Last edited on 22-Jan-2008 19:03:30 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY FOURTYTHREE - wish I was fishing -
We didnt get hardly anything from the flax feild victems. One guy droped a bronze longsword, been there done that! But, it was worth it just to hear them scream, man i was crying.......From my gut hurting from laughing to much!!! Hearing them say, "Oh dear god, please just kill me!" and "SAVE ME!" and of course the classic, "AHHH!!! The Pain!!!" man that made my day.
To calm ourselves down we did....yup, you guessed it! fishing! *throws rod in....*
*soft music playing*
Not a nibble, so i bring it back in and throw it back out... ooooohhhh...so peacful! i mean, it would have been peacful exept we were using the choped off heads of the flax victems for bait! the fish were all over it! And what was more funny, is that we made their children watch!!! HAHAHAHAHA! But the truth of the matter is, we just wanted to see how they would react to that kind of personal loss. Man, seeing them committ sucide like that, after crying like babies, what a way to go eh?
We started walking just reminisin on past memorys! "So, yo*hi, what did you want to be when you grew up?" i asked.
"Well! i wanted to sing! But..dad went into "i have no son, i have no son".....mom....mom just stood there..." he said.
I just stared at him wide eyed. "That wasnt in the script!" i said.
"Yeah i know, i had to tell somebody!! i am sorry!" he said.
"Dont worry *posts video of yoshi on internet* your secret is safe with me!" i said.
"Thanks noob! i knew i could count on you!" he said.
"Yo*hi....you were abused as a child werent you?" i stated.
"what gave it away?" he asked.
"well...your a drunk and the town idiot." i replied.
With that comment, we headed north! to...erm....a place norther then here!

21-Jan-2008 00:39:37 - Last edited on 22-Jan-2008 19:05:51 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY FORTYFOUR -down to business-
latly i've noticed that me and yoshi have been wasting alot of time. I relized this somewhere between the endless hours of sleeping, and killing people. I thought to myself that we had to stop fooling around, and come up with a plan. But first things first.... *drinks a keg* "yaaaaa! *hic* tha' hit ta spt! *hic* got ta *hic* haf me thinkin juice-" *thud*. I woke in a daze, wondering why and how I wrote the last few sentences while I was drunk. I mean, what drunk person writes down their words as they say them, spelling errors and all? Come to think of it, I wonder how I wrote alot fo the things I wrote. Like the first time I met yoshi... remember? He was sinking in quickksand, and how did I manage to save him (well... he survived...) AND write it all down in my diary at the same time! Like a live narration. well I do have to keep my life up to date; These pages will be the only record of my life BEFORE I became the greatest ruler of runescape. Think about how much these pages will be worth... Dare I say... 20K!?!?!! HAHAHA! No1 will be able to buy it!
Sorry for getting off-track.. Lets just get back to the story! I woke up in a daze, relizing I've been out for a few hours. I found yo*hi, huddled in a corner, looking extremly paranoid. "where have you been?" I asked. "I DON'T KNOW!!!" Said yo*hi, panicked. "I was just fishing! then suddenly, like it came out of thin air, An evil cat came! Before I could scream the cat teleported me!!!" yoshi said. I scoffed, then chuckled. "It's true! at his island he forced me to fish cooked fish, then uncook them in the fire!!!" yoshi bursted into tears. "calm down, you must have been dreaming" I said, reasurring. "*sniff* really?" said yoshi hopefully. "Of course.... talking cat...HAHAHA!"

me and yo*hi got down to business. We decided on the plan of reconisence. First, we'd find out where saradomin, and/or his head monks and followers were. Then, we'd somehow get in there and get

21-Jan-2008 00:39:37 - Last edited on 21-Jan-2008 00:53:22 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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info on their what they were up to. once we had enough information "from the inside" and Then after we have enough, we should find a weakness, and end the evil members once and for all. We call this "Operation 'INSIDE-OUT'" because that's exactly how we're going to destroy the members, and cripple the so-called-great saradomin! Then all of runescape will bow to the noob!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA

21-Jan-2008 00:39:38 - Last edited on 21-Jan-2008 00:53:48 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY FORTYFIVE -Gathering recon-

Our first mission as...spies (*giggles*), is to find out where the major incampment of elete saradominst troops are to support the ephilical cause of suave hidronamics!!! "er... in english plz noob?" asked yo*hi. "*sigh* we take saradomin and the members down using there own knoledge against them." "sounds good to me!" said yo*hi. "but how do we do that." "well..." I said. "that's the problem. having no contacts, we will just have to wait until a oppritunity arises, until then we just sit and wai- hey look over there! an oppritunity!" we both looked at a sign. It read. "super secret saradomin meeting! sign up for it now!!!" "wow took it long enough! I was about to sit down! " said yo*hi.
we walk into this bar with the supposed "sign up sheet" It was crowded in there! all members! blah! members make me sick! I mean, who would willingly be a member! you!? hahahaha! I'm joking of course, I know my readers wouldn't be stupid enough to become members! I whispered to yo*hi "Yo*hi, we have to blend in completly, make sure they never know that we're not one of them, Once we get the information we need, we're out!" It was then I relized That I was speaking into a microphone, which was kind of odd because I don't remember them inventing one for a few hundred years. I always get mircrophones and yoshi mixed up! "curses They heard me! well, maybe they weren't listening, I mean, Saradomin's followers aren't good listeners right?" I said to yo*hi. But it was then I also relized that, that to was said into the microphone. by this time everyone in the bar was staring at me. "ummm... april fools?" then they all giggled, laughed, nodded there heads. the fools! it's not april! muhhahahahaha!
anyway we signed up on the sheet, and we were given the secret place and time! sry I can't tell you guys, can't risk you guys ever going to the meeting at juliet's house. ahhh ahhh ahh ehhh I mean...er ..... LOOK A MONKEY! *runs*

21-Jan-2008 00:39:38 - Last edited on 22-Jan-2008 19:10:21 by FriendshipUI

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