RuneScape Forum Archive | |::Diary Of A Noob::| <>FULL<>

FriendshipUI

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DAY THIRTYTHREE -swabbing the deck-
it's offical! me and yoshi are pirates! im so giddy that if you look up the world "giddy" in the dictonary you'll find.... well you won't find anything of significant value there, but it's still a pretty cool word, right? RIGHT!? Anyway, yoshi and Iwere "cabin boys", impressive right? Ya, you wish you could be cabin boy. and guess what? the next rank after cabin buy is "slavé" (pronounced "slaw-va) "sounds fancy, doesn't it?" I inquire at yo*hi. "I belive it's pronounced 'slave'" yoshi says. "oh yo*hi.....don't you know anything? pirates are fancy. slavé is like a german word that means 'high class' duh!" "what ever you say...." says yo*hi, unconvinced.
"arrrr!" yells the captain. "cabin boys, front and center!!!" yoshi interupts. "sry captain sir, but it is techniquely impossible to be at the front at the ship while being at it's center; furthermore-" "silence!!!" the captain yells. we shut up. "good, not listen up! I need you to to give this deck a good swab; the blood stains are leaving stains on the pretty flower-logo on the main pink sail." said the captain. "oh and make sure no blood gets on my butterfly collection!!!" wait a second...... flowery-logos.... butterfly collection.... the sudden relization that the captian's wearing a blouse..... AWSOME!!! the ultimate sign of manliness!!! "yes sir!" we both yelled. "then get to work!" the captain said and walked away.
me and yoshi headed over to the supply closet. we opened it and I can'ted belive what we saw! the best i can describe the feeling is riding a train made of eraser shavings through pure titanium, and then a giant magical talking button granting you 3 wishes on the other side......ya....
anyway so I got the broom and started cleaning up. The constantly pukeing pirates provided some challenge in cleaning up the floor. every time i cleaned it, a new mess appeared! I was dead tired after that dayz work! off to bed for me!

21-Jan-2008 00:21:06 - Last edited on 22-Jan-2008 01:19:41 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY THIRTYFOUR -the return of....-
The captain said that we would set sail at dawn (which was werid because runescape doesnt have time of days), and said to get a good nights rest. once we got up the captain came to us and this other priate named bob. he brought us in his quarters and went into a long boring speech about how being a pirate is risky, if u get caught ur on ur own, we are outa jelly, untill some1 goes 2 the store, that we must follow orders without question...blah blah blah..wait! did he say jelly!!!
ok well i woke up at the part where he is saying "you guys dont have 2 worry about dieing, if you do, you will appear back in your quarters."
"Really!?" i said. With that i threw bob over-board. "hey! why didnt he reappear!?"
"who cares! hes not even a main character!" said yo*hi
"ok....its only you and yoshi who have that power."said the captain.
"why is that?" i asked.
"ask the writing staff!" replied the captain.
with that we left, and started on our daily jobs. today, we had to go into the animal pen and clean the animals. but..... when we got in the room, the coffee-table of death was there...just....staring at us...like a...like a.....well like a coffee-table!so i lunged for it while freezing in mid air, and doing one of those matrix 180 degrees camera angle stunts. unfortunatly, the coffee-table won because my head hit on of the corners, and i bled to death....while yoshi was eating popcorn..
we go back to the room, but it had vanished.
One day we will get you! i swear it!!

21-Jan-2008 00:21:06 - Last edited on 21-Jan-2008 00:39:26 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY THIRTYFIVE -taming the seas-
Man, yesterday was alittle pointless, no? What a pointless interlude! But sure was entertaining. Anyway, today is our first offical day at sea. Yesterday didn't count on account of.....well........ "the perminent sleep of a non-main character".....ya.....OH WELL! Our current pirate mission is to intercept a weapons barge. They're totally defenseless!!! (can't you just taste the irony? a weapons ship being defenseless?). I've been training everyday to get strong, being basically imortal for the time being we can literally kill eachother! It took us only half a day for me to get to lvl 35!!!! yo*hi's lvl 33...hehehe.... I owned him! he's such a.....hmmm.... what do you call rude and obnoixious person?..... OH YA! choobs! Man, that almost sounds like noob, good thing their not the same!
we saw the barge on the horizon, 1 hour before expected! They must have changed course due to the wirlpools in the area. makes our job eaiser!!! "what do you want us to do cap'n?" I ask, enthusastically. the captain looked me up and down, then right clicked on me to see my combat lvl (It was most uncomfertable) and said "guard the ship" and with that, the captain left. When the captain was gone, I turned to yoshi and yelled "we have to guard the ship!!! that's so.....soooo.... yo*hi, give me a word to describe it!" yo*hi got out his reading glasses, and his dictonary, and looked through it. "how about 'vile'?" "that'll do! this is so vile!!! we deserve better!" "ya!" yoshi yells. "it's time to add a noob's touch to ol' captain's plans.... here's what we're gunna do..."
*3 hours later*
"ready yoshi?" "ready!" he yelled. "ok, remember the plan...one...TWO....THR- oh look they already took over the boat." it was true. the pirates have already captured all the crew and tied them quite nicly to a pole. "hmm... maybe planning the plan took more time then we though?" yoshi said. I said "nonsense! perfect timing!" Not really, I was dying inside.

21-Jan-2008 00:21:07 - Last edited on 22-Jan-2008 01:29:30 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY THRITYSIX -take the money and run!-
Ah! Doesn’t being rich just make you feel good? I mean, when we sell all those steel long swords and battle axes, will be set for life! Me and yo*hi got so excited that Yo*hi started juggling swords, while drinking a keg, and while trying to get a couple of girl's phones #'s (only to be reminded that phones haven't been invented yet). Well it all went wrong from there. He dropped the keg, slipped on the beer, one sword went into one of the girl's leg, and the other sword went into yo*hi's eye. Guts everywhere! Man I laughed my head off! Then, as an added bonus, as yoshi was screaming in agony, he slipped on the beer again, falling forward, and impaling himself on the sword! I nearly passed out I was laughing my guts out! Yoshi appeared about 5 seconds later, coming out of his stateroom, and we both looked at the girl. ya.... she...she wasn't going to get better. But who cares? Like you’re ever going to see her again! pfft! So we just pushed her off the docks and made it look like an "accident" if you get my drift.
Anyway, the big payday was about to come out, so me and yoshi headed to the 2nd floor of the bar in port...ahhh...port shame is it? Ok we'll call it that! 2nd floor of the bar in port shame (there's a secret 2nd floor of it (o god I don't think I was suppose to tell you that (Why do I keep talking? (WATS with all these parenthesis???))). Anyway, once we were there, we took our seats (see? I told you pirates were organized. We were even given this nifty little pamphlets). Once all the crew had seat down, the captain came up on the make-shift stage. With a rather large treasure chest. Wo0tness! This was going to be good. "Well done, loyal crew! What a great haul! Now regarding this bountiful booty...” we were all on the edge of our seats, waiting for him to say it. "You’re not getting any of it! harharhar!" with that he jumped out the window, and landed in a bed of hay, and laughed one final time before he ran

21-Jan-2008 00:21:07 - Last edited on 22-Jan-2008 01:32:54 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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What a shocking twist! Were you expecting that! The crew was all stunned. One of them finally stood up and yelled "I think we've been tricked!" man, he's a genius! Musta gone to Harvard to come out with that accusation. As he stood up though, he set off a trap! Arrows came flying out of the wall, at least a hundred arrows, killing all the crew! Luckily, dying would end the series, so yoshi and I found a way to stay alive. We barricaded ourselves behind collapsing bodies, still bleeding (man this story has gone from "ha-ha" funny to "oh my god that’s disgusting" funny... huh?). Don't worry! No one dies on this day! They just get hurt reeeeally bad! They’ll suffer a bit, but that'll wear off in a few days.
Oh ya! We have to get the captain! Me and yoshi jump out the window after him, only realizing afterwards that it wasn't the same window the captain jumped out of. Suddenly we found ourselves looking down at alteast a 100 ft cliff. Man I know this is going to turn out good! As we began to fall, we saw a convenitly placed sign say "WARNING! No swimming! Water contains crocodiles, alligators, Piranhas, pointy rocks, acid, and an old guy named jeb." oh no, this is going to be worse then I thought! Anytime there is an old man named jeb, you know there's trouble! There’s a little factoid for ya to keep! Just then, yoshi whipped a Para gilder out of his backpack! Wow! Yet another shocking twists! "Hold on to me!" yells yo*hi. "Sry man, I don't swing that way" I yell back. yoshi growls and grabs me, opens up his Para gilder, and a sudden burst of air carries us up, past the water and on to the beach. We are still quite high above the ground.
We start looking around for the captain. "There he is!" I yell "what’* that island's name?" Yoshi yells back. "'karenjama' I believe! Land now!" yoshi puts the Para gilder into a dive, and we head straight to the ground! At the last minute, yoshi pulls up, pushes me off, and flies away, im only about 10 ft from the ground when I

21-Jan-2008 00:21:08 - Last edited on 21-Jan-2008 00:45:48 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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Fell, but it still hurt! Luckily I landed on the captain, which cushioned my fall. "You got guts, I’ll give you that, but you're still not getting any part of my treasure!" The captain yelled. "We’ll see about that!" as a drew my sword. "A fight to the death it is then!" the captain said while drawing his sword. You know "pirates of the Caribbean?" picture a scene from there, and don't forget the theme music! Much better! The captain lunged at me, yelling "arr!" (What else?). I brought my sword up just in time and block it, sparks flying off the swords. He pulled back; He then did a few short, fast jabs with his sword, not trying to do any real damage, just testing me. Of course, I heroically blocked all of them.
I then swiftly thrust my sword in a down-wards spiral, looking to trip him. He did a circular parry (swing), and blocked it. He grinned. "I expected better of you, noob. The kings hold you in such high esteem." I growl menacingly, and take my sword away, and with brute force, using both hands, I bring the sword down, aiming for his head. He blocked it, but with great effort. I could tell that I was wearing him down. I lunged back, then forward with a stab. He predicted this easily, and sideward blocked it, then, in a circular motion, knocked the sword from my hand! "Hey no far! I can't lose! Im the main character!" I yell at the captain. "We’ll see whose the main character when your guts are spattered all over the beach!" He says, mockingly, with his sword at my Throat. "Goodbye, noob" and brings his sword back to stab. Then, in an amazing writers moment, I use "the force" to bring my sword back to my hand, from all the way across the beach! Then I stab it into the captain's unprotected belly. With his sword still raised, the captain looks down at his wound "that isn't fair" he says weakly. "I told you once, and I’ll tell you again, Im the main character!" and thrust the sword out of his belly. He collapses.

21-Jan-2008 00:21:09 - Last edited on 21-Jan-2008 00:46:06 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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And the most amazing thing happened! When the captain fully died, He started to glow! As if my day hasn't been weird enough! then suddenly, The king black dragon came birsting out of the body! OMG is there not end to this day's twists!? "you have foiled my plan!" The kbd yelled loudly. but his mouth didn't move! as if He knew what i was thinking, he said "Dummy head! dragons can't talk! Im talking to you telepathically!" oh...which means he can here what Im thinking right now! uh oh. "what were you doing in a sea captain's body" I said in my mind. "You fool? isn't it obvious?!" I pause. "no, not really" I reply. "I was going to take over runescape! then, not only would I be the king of dragons, but the king of all! Muhahahahahaha!" "that's terible! How could you think of doing such a thing! especially sense I'm planning to rule it!" "then once again, a battle to the death will decide it!" The kbd yelled. "fine! But I have a one piece of advice for you." I said, smugly. "oh really? and what would that be?" the KBD inquired. "better duck! yoshi now!" I yell aloud. the KBD looks confused, and doesn't turn into see yoshi coming at him full steem with the sharp tip of the para glider.
Yoshi jumps off at the last second, when the para glider's front metal point peirces the rib cage of the KBD. The KBD roars in agony, and dies. me and yoshi are both panting very hard. "thx yo*hi, I woulda died if it wasn't for you." "no problem" he says, still panting. we both look at eachother. I start to laugh. he starts to laugh. "I wanna go to bed" I say. yoshi nods. And we both start out journey back to our rooms in the blue moon inn.

21-Jan-2008 00:27:32 - Last edited on 21-Jan-2008 00:46:22 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY THIRTYSEVEN- my worst enemy –

Me and yoshi limp away from the battle, looking all heroic and all. Of course we were not injured, it just looks like we were through a lot if we looked it because, you know, the ladies love a guy that has seen hard battle! I even got a sword from the king of falador! It was mithril!!!!!!!!!!!! Oooommmmggg!!! Yeah, I no, ur just jealous. Yo*hi got one too, but while running skiping happily, he triped and got impaled in the eye with it, and I wish I could say he died quickly, but that would be far from the truth. It was funny to watch him squirm! Me and the king of falador just stood there laughing at him. So he loses his sword (I sold it once he died, back 2 the king of falador!!)
Now, today is a new day, and we were deciding what to do.
“Lets check out the desert.” I said, “we have never been there, I bet they have never even heard of us!.”
“don’t speak like that noob!” yoshi said, “ ur scaring me!”
“sorry, I wont say it again.” I said
so we begin the long walk. About 2 or 3 hours into it. We walk near this guy, who looks werid…he….looks like hes made of wood.. the guy follows us for a few miles. We constantly look over our shoulders. So we start to flee like cowards!!...erm *cough*.. I mean, we heroicly strutted away from the near battle. But, he follows. So I get out my sword, turn 2 him, and pull out my sword.
“who are you!?” I asked. He just looked at me, and brought out his sword.
“I am here to kill you!!!” the wooden man said.
With that he lunged for me, yoshi fainted of the shock, fat lot of good that did me!
CLING CLING! Goes our swords, I can tell they are being pushed to their breaking points. He swipes, I dodge and perry. He does an upper cut with his sword, I block, and recover with slash. The battle rages on for what feels like hours, takes so long, yoshi has enough time to come back 2 c(c)oniousness. He did a mighty slash, which broke his sword in 2.

21-Jan-2008 00:27:32 - Last edited on 21-Jan-2008 00:48:18 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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"haha! You are defenseless!” I said.
Bbbbbseerrrr, he pulls out a light saber.
"You have got to be kidding me!!” I said
he slashed through my sword. So I pick up a conveniently placed light saber on the ground.
Bbbbbseerrrr! It goes as I turn it on, I do a few twists and turns with it (for the ladies)
“your overconfidence is your weakness!” I said
“your faith in your friends is yours!” he said
“wow, that was weird…” said yo*hi.

The most awesome lightsaber battle happens! But.. i’ll spare you the gory details! Wait. U want to hear them? Ok. In about 5 seconds he dodges, parries, dodges again, while I stay on the offensive. I cut one of his arms off! But no blood comes out, he cuts off one of my legs (who needs it, it was just holding me back.) there was a pause in the battle…
“who are you!?” I asked
“noob! I am your father!!!” he said.
“no your not! My father lives in Ohio!” I said
“fine…I am not, but I am……” he said, but did*’t get a chance 2 finish, before he transforms into the coffee-table of death!!!
“its you!!! Prepare to die!” I said
but before I can do anything, he teleports out.

CURSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

21-Jan-2008 00:27:33 - Last edited on 22-Jan-2008 01:49:56 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY THIRTYEIGHT - The Desert -
Man, the last few days were kinda pointless, so, we made a pit stop in lumbridge before going to the desert. Forgetting that this king hates us, we ask for a place where we can crash. Luckly, he was in a good mood so he gave us a shed in the swamps.
"well, that was nice of him!" yoshi said.
"Yeah! cant wait till we get in the desert!" i said. So, we spent about 5 hours resting (which would be "night" but runescape doesn't have time) ,so in the "morning", we get 2 this gate, where a gate at it says, "10gp to pass."
"TEN GP!!, do you know who your speaking to!?" i asked
"erm...a noob?" he asked.
"yes! thats right and dont you forget it!" i said.
"I'll let you pass if you give me 10gp." he said.
"kids these days! no respect! always listening to their "rap music" and wearing their pants below their buts! When i am declared king, that will all change!
"Fine! take the gp, but when i become king! you are so fired!" i said.
I figured out a few things when i got there. one-ITS HOT!! and another is that people arnt really nice, alot of theives.
"hey noob can i have some money?" yoshi asked.
"sure here u go." i said
"hey where did u get that?" he asked.
"i am a cleptomaniac, i stole it from the guards."
"hey my wallets missing!" said a guard.
we went to the palace to speak with the king. We never spoke with him. his advisor said that we could see the king asap. I desided to get up my combat. I got it to lvl 53!! FEAR ME! yo*hi is the same lvl, but i still own him. I think i will either stay here or go back 2 varrock tomarrow, I'm tired, yo*hi is blacked out drunk, i am gonna....*thud* **zz.*****zz

21-Jan-2008 00:27:33 - Last edited on 21-Jan-2008 00:48:57 by FriendshipUI

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