RuneScape Forum Archive | |::Diary Of A Noob::| <>FULL<>

FriendshipUI

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DAY SEVEN -"noob!"-
Me and Yoshi are slowly becoming best friends, because I promised him a seat of power when I eventually rule runescape. Hey, I just said he can have the seat of power. The chair will still be the only thing powerful about him. dumb chair....you know, I was thinking of going with a natural oak furnished with gold rim plating, but not that I think about it more im leaning towards a classic roman
marble and granite throne... I already got the plans laid out for the patio, and don't even get me started on which color I want in the bathroom! Oh, sorry, got a little carried away. Ahem, back to my life. So, me and Yoshi are strategizing how we are going to take over. We decided to try to find people to help the cause.
"Hey you over there!" I yell to one person. "Join my leadership, and you will not be painfully, painfully tortured when I become king, and grand ruler of runescape! Do you accept?" he looked straight at me and called me a "noob" huh...what does noob mean? I know! It must be a German word meaning cool or powerful! He’s so nice!
"Thanks for showing your support! I will call you when it is time to bear arms!" I say with a grin.
"What a noob..." the guy says.
"Wow, thanks! I was going for that!" "How many soldiers do we have now Yoshi?" I ask with excitement.
Yoshi said "including the one that just called you a noob?" "Ya" I said.
"Well lets see, adding him to the roster....now we have....1..."
"excellent progress Yo*hi! Man im wiped, lets turn in for the day!"

21-Jan-2008 00:02:43 - Last edited on 05-May-2008 21:55:44 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY EIGHT -Non-combat skills? Who needs em!-
Well, today I started off like any other, I go into the town square and preach the ways of me! They all call me noob and tell me they will pay me if I stop! I am like "haha! This can work to my advantage!"
So I got over 500gp!!!! Omg I must be the richest person in runescape right now! But what should I buy with it...hmm. I decided to walk around this town which is called "Falador" when I see Yo*hi trying to hack down a tree, I said "Yo*hi, what are u doing?"
He said he was getting up his woodcutting skill, so I decided to buy a woodcutting axe with some of the money I got! No sooner then I swing on the 1st tree, the tree comes alive and kill Yo*hi!
"omg! You killed Yo*hi!" I shouldn’t have said that, it came for me next. I was running, screaming, crying, pleading, begging, erm...I mean I, fought valiantly until my foe lied next to me in a pool of sap and bark, but, unfortunately, the tree cut off one of my arms, and I fainted because of blood loss. OMG, I hate woodcutting! I will never do it again, so I decide to go mining with Yo*hi, we stayed for about an hour, nothing wrong is happening, I get twelve pieces of tin and twelve pieces of cooper, so now I can make bronze! Ohhh,ahhhh.
But this huge rock monster comes out of some ore and tore yo*hi's arms off, I learned from the last experience to keep my mouth shut! So I keep on mining, like nothing ever happened. I am ok for about five or ten minutes but then the ore I am mining starts to steam!
I said "how strange, maybe it will give me double ore production if I mine it!" so I get to mining it, and guess what! IT BLEW UP!!! I cant believe it come on!!!! Ok, my mouth is tired, since both my arms were
blown off I have to write with it, if I can stitch them back on then I’ll write a dairy entry tomorrow.

21-Jan-2008 00:08:41 - Last edited on 08-Oct-2010 17:39:51 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY NINE -creating a legacy-
today I wanted to see more of the sites, get to know runescape a little better. After all, if I plan to rule runescape, I’ll have to know my surroundings! I discovered a great big fountain in the center of "Varook". It was AWSOME! The gushing waters, the classic marble, the statue of someone clearly better then me, the bubbles that seems as if their coming from nowhe- hey wait a second....statue of some-one more important than me!? NO ONE IS MORE IMPORTANT THEN ME!! At least not yet.... I walk up to one of the many civilians, and asked my question.
"You there, civilian, tell me who that man is right now" the girl looked at me.
"rofl, you don't know who that is? It’s Saradomin NOOB!" with that she walked away.
Omg everyone must know who I am, because everyone calls me a noob! I guess that's my famous nickname. Hmm....I like the sound of it! But what does rofl mean? Hmm..... maybe Royal Offical Famous Legacy! Wow!!!! Im more famous then I even thought! And that’s saying something! Anyway, who is this so called "Saradomin"!? OH NO! He must be a leader of a resistance that wants to stop ME from getting to power! AHH! This so called "Saradomin" must be stopped!!!
"Mark my words Saradomin; a time will come when your statue crumbles, and my glorious statue is put in it's wake! It's only a matter of time! Muhahahahahahahahaaa!" And oh did the public back me up on this! They all were chanting
"noob! Noob! Noob!" so much that I felt like I was on top of the world! "Your legacy shall be mine!" Said I, referring to the statue.

21-Jan-2008 00:08:42 - Last edited on 21-Oct-2008 20:24:33 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY TEN - A learning experience-
well, I was traveling around what is called the "wilderness" because a person said its a cool place to be. So, I have been walking around for hours, and haven’t seen a single person! But, I did stumble across this Old, abandoned alter, with lots and lots of bones near it. There, I learned that if I pick up a "bone", (please hold your vomit until after) and bury them, that I get something called prayer! I can use this prayer to defeat Saradomin! I am a genius!!
I know, I know, no thanks are necessary. I got my prayer all the way to lvl ten! I am invincible now! Once I get bored of being all powerful, I decide to explore more of this place. I went deeper and guess what I find! More bones! So, not wasting the moment I stock up on these "big bones" and i get my prayer to 12!! Kneel and bow before my might! I then decide that I wanted to go back to varrock and tell every1 that I their leader am safe, they will be so happy; they will be shouting "noob!" "Noob!" "Noob!" for days!! I can** wait!! So I hurried and went south to varrock. And I end up in a place that I have never been before! I think I overheard some1 talking and they said it was "ends ill" or something like that.....weird name! There was the crazy weird named "Zamora wizard", who ever that is! So I go some more souths and end up in a place called, barbeque village...mmm...baby back ribs. So I go into the town, and talk to one of the locals, he just swings his axe at me; I use my new found "prayer" ability to kill him! And died very slowly he did. So I guess I'll reach varrock tomorrow, I am tired...I wonder what Yoshi has been up too...

21-Jan-2008 00:08:42 - Last edited on 08-Oct-2010 17:42:42 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY TWELVE -drinking problems-
Today Yoshi and I decided to celebrate my recent status and combat lvl change. We started heading over to our favorite bar, The Blue Moon Inn.
"Don’t worry, this round of drinks are on me!" Yoshi yelled, followed by wo0ts of agreement from the people in the bar. Yaahh... and then things took a turn for the worst. See, after we've been drinking a little, with the booze dulling our senses, killing the rest of our brain cells, we found a book on the floor. Is was the Runescape World Records!
"well what do you know! it's opened to the page for the most beers drank in one continued stream without dying of alcohol poisoning! I'LL TAKE THAT CHALLENGE!" And take that challenge I did.
beer after beer, I just couldn't stop! I was like a machine! "chug! chug! chug! chug! chug!" my audience was chanting! It seemed to go on for ever. By this time, I was sooo drunk, that I coulda sworn that the audience turned into lobster......mmmm...lobster with butter..... yumm..... flying lobster with butter...... oh wait sorry getting off track!
I finally slam one of the glasses down so hard that... well nothing really happened of importance, but it di scratch the mug a little! I was too weak to pick up another glass. I colasped to the floor, only to be lifted back up but the audience. "YOU DID IT!" Yelled Yoshi. " ei didshhh?" I mumbled. "yes u did!" lets take a look at the count.
old world record: 35 beers
new world record: (mine) 678 beers.
WOOT!
OoOoOoOooo by the power naturally invested in me.... I don't feel that good....

21-Jan-2008 00:08:43 - Last edited on 08-Oct-2010 17:49:07 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY THIRTEEN -claiming whats mine-
It's time to get down to bussness and brass tax here folks. I am way experienced enough in the ways of life to take over Runescape over now. but how to start? I have to start small and work my way up... I know! Varrock! Varrock is the biggest city in Runescape! if I find some way to take over Varrock, the other cities will soon follow! then once I own all, runescape shall be mine! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
but how to start?
OMG!! i just had a great idea! I'll write a petition, one to make ME the king! im going to need like a bazillion names though, so i better get started!

I walked up to the first person I saw. "Hi there friend! Would you like to sign a petition to make me the king?"
"no" he said.
"great! i'll sign your name then!" I cheered.
WOW! that was easy! that should be more then enough names to get me to be the king! watch out current king, theres a new sheriff....king... sheriff-king in.....town..... man that sounded better in my head.
Anyway, so now that I have enough names (an impressive one name). The king will have to bow to my wishes! All I have to do now is send this in and wait for a reply. OK how should I start this letter? oh, right. here it goes.
"Dear King of Varrock,
I would like to inform you that you reign as king will soon be coming to a close, because I, noob, will take your thrown because of the peoples' will! inclosed, is a List of names for the petition for me to become the king! I know, it's an impressive number, and if will suffice! HAND YOUR THROWN OVER NOW OR I'LL TAKE IT BY FORCE! As we speak, my massive army is moving across the lands to claim what is mine! It is just a bad run of luck that both my soldiers had to logg out. Oh well, no matter, I will still become king! you'll see!"

21-Jan-2008 00:08:44 - Last edited on 14-Oct-2010 05:10:31 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY FOURTEEN -Saradomin-
hmm...Saradomin...MY NEMESIS! you shall find your downfall soon enough! I heard from a very reliable source (Yoshi), that I could learn more about this "Saradomin" at the Varrock library. Muhahahahaha! Learning about my enemy is the first step to defeating him! Knowing I have a very short attention span, I just bought the history of Saradomin on tape. What is tape you ask? Oh, it is a magic device for another tale. Anyway. I learned quite the interesting stuff about Saradomin.
I learned his main nemesis is a person called "Zamorak"...hmm....I like this Zamorak already! also learned that Saradomin is a god! HMPH! he's not a god! I AM THE ONLY GOD!! Fear me!!! And what if he is a god? The bigger they are the harder they fall!
Gods hit me on the head with a mallets! oh sorry, that's the weed talking.....garden weeds folks, get ur mind out of the gutter! *slices the heads off the magical talking garden weeds*
anyway, I had to find a way to beat this Saradomin. He will be my downfall.... Maybe this Zamorak fellow can help me. YES! THE MOST DEADLY ALLIANCE IN RUNESCAPE! Zamorak and THE Noob! Has a ring to it, eh? Even the people reading this will become famous, because it will be the first thing I ever wrote! Ya you guys will be able to say, "yah, I knew THE Noob when he was just starting out." and boom! You'll become instantly rich and famous! That's how great im going to be!
I CAN'T WAIT!

21-Jan-2008 00:08:44 - Last edited on 14-Oct-2010 05:15:55 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY FIFTEEN -zamorak wine-
I heard from a very reliable source (random guy in Fally park) that there was a secret Zamorak temple! Omg! This is finally the chance to get to meet Zamorak! I'm so giddy! In fact, I should trust them completly and NOT ask any questions about my safety, medical needs, or any other useful information!
They can be trusted like that. Zamorak is my number one.... Oh what do the kids say these days?..... "homie"?
So with my iron sword shining brightly against all the blood that was around the temple. hmm.... wonder why all that's there? Oh well, i better be polite and not ask any questions. I mean, what can they do? They're monks! peacefull, fun-loving, fight-to-the-death style monks! I was sooo excited that I ran all the way there! I was so tired when i got there, and breathing so hard. I opened the doors to the secret alter. "hel *pant pant* lo... *pant* I have come *pant* to discuss *pant pant* the downfall of *pant pant* Saradomin, i wish to-"
it is then I spoted the lovliest jug of wine atop the alter! "Oh thank god! I was getting so thirsty!" I said aloud. The monks looked at me questionably when I said that, then they looked at the jug of wine. Then me. Then the jug of wine. then me, then the jug of wine. Then me. Then jack the ripper. Then me again. Then they got this EVIL grin. "Go ahead, take it!" one of them said. Man these people are nice! I picked it up and took a huge gulp.
"man! that really hit the-" it was then I felt a bowstaff get whipped across my right knee. "Ow! What did ya do that for!? Honestly! Is that anyway to treat guests!? You should be ashamed of yourselves!" I then closed my eyes and turned my back to them, knowing that they are deeply ashamed.
"Now that that's settled, now we can discuss-" I opened my eyes and....OMG! I'm back in Lumbridge!!! How'd I get here!!! OhIi know! That surly was all a dream, I must've fell asleep in the Lumbridge courtyard! It seems so obvious now! Stupid me!

21-Jan-2008 00:08:46 - Last edited on 14-Oct-2010 05:22:27 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY SIXTEEN - The king of lumbridge -
Once I figured it wasn’t a dream (seeing a huge lump on the top of my head) i thought, "omg! that must be Saradomin disciples that knocked me out and carried me to Lumbridge!!" I was so mad!!! I wanted to release some of the rage I had in me by killing something cute and/or cuddly.. luckily, a well-placed chicken appeared, and conveniently was located at my feet!
"Ah ha!" I roared. Swinging my sword, and ending the chickens life.
"Omg!! he killed the royal chicken!" Someone said
"get the king right now!" shouted another.
"Finally some respect around here! I get to see the king and tell him i claim Lumbridge."
Some guards carried me away, off to the finest room they had, they called it the "prison". I noticed Yoshi was in a few doors down. I could barely hold my exitement in!!!
a few hours later, I finally got to see the king.
"Finally! I thought you forgot about me! ok, back to buisness, I, Noob of Runescape, say out loud so all can hear, claim Lumbridge as the first city of my kingdom! Will u cooperate, or will I have to storm your castle with force?!"
the king........just stared at me.....like I was insane or something. Did I come on too strong?
*the king whispered to a guard*
"he’s not even worth the time it takes to kill someone, just throw him out." he said
"Yes sire." replied the guard.
As the guards started to throw me out, I said
"wait! I will not leave until my demands are met!
The king then said, "absolutely NOT!."
"Well...can i at least have Yoshi back?"
"Fine just get out of here!!" the king shouted.
and with that, he threw me and Yoshi out....

21-Jan-2008 00:08:46 - Last edited on 14-Oct-2010 05:30:23 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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DAY SEVENTEEN -upgrading tactics-
Thanks to the hospitality of the Lumbridge king, and his lavish estate, I have become more popular than ever (hard as that is to believe). To celebrate my new-found freedom, I decided to do something daring. Something dangerous. something so unexpectly insane, that it will probably be expected! That’s how unexpected it is! It's great isn't it! Oh, I haven't told you yet.
Anyway...what i am going to do....the impossible....im...going...to....kill...a...COW! I know I know, hold you gasps of horror and shock. I think I'm more than ready. I can do this.....I can do this!!! I CAN DO THIS!! *a body of a lvl 3 piles besides me, face torn to pieces* AHHH! I CAN'T DO THIS!
Before I had time to run away like a little girl.. UUUHHH I MEAN HEROICALLY BRUSH ASIDE BATTLE, Yoshi stepped in my path. "Where do u think your going? YOU'RE GOING IN THERE AND KILLING THAT COW!"
"But don't you see Yoshi!? It's suicide!" "Get it together man! you're THE noob! you're not afraid of anything! now get in there and don't come out unless you have a steak for my dinner! im hungry." I gulped. "you're right Yoshi!" I faced the cows. "FOR THE KINGDOM OF THE NOOB!" I yelled my fierce battle cry, and lunged at a cow.
I scraped the cow's forehead with my iron sword, the cow yelped in pain. While he was dumbfounded, I lunged on his back and grab him around the horns! The cow moos with rage! the type of moo that will send a shiver down your spine. He tried to shake me loose, and I got knocked off and flew through the air! I hit the ground...HARD. The cow's almost upon me, LOOKS LIKE THIS IS THE END OF MY DIARY! *sniff* BUT!!!! At the last second the cow trips over a conveniently placed coffee table, and gets impaled by my sword that was knocked away! the cow strungled in agony for a few seconds. Then it went silent. GOOD! IT'S SLEEPING! Now I can run!
Yoshi was waiting outside. "Did you win?" "Of course i did!" I said with a smug voice. "it was just a cow."

21-Jan-2008 00:08:46 - Last edited on 14-Oct-2010 05:41:56 by FriendshipUI

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