RuneScape Forum Archive | |::Diary Of A Noob::| <>FULL<>

FriendshipUI

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Day NINETYTHREE –Second of 5-
So, I have been given a great responsibility, and all my suspicions about Saradomin has come to pass.
"Wait, how in the world could you have known that Saradomin was evil, and that by us putting him into our trust, inevitability causing our ultimate downfall?” Doodle asked.
“Simple my dear Watson! My suspicions were first peaked the first day. There was a lovely lvl 94 next to me, he was talking to an associate when I overheard a plot to overthrow the kings of Runescape with the help of Saradomin-“ I begun until interrupted.
“wait a minute.” Amy said, then grabbed the Diary and read the first entry, “says here he called you a ‘noob’ and you appeared back in Lumbridge. She said starring at me.
“Shup! Meh story! As I was saying, next while starring at the statue in varrock, I saw an inscription on the fountain, saying how ‘He will return with vengeance and spite those who opposed him.’ It is then that I promised to take him down!” I said, standing in a heroic pose.
“Riiiiight.” Amy replied.
Time to meet the new guide. Blue told us that he was the forger for the clan and could be found in the blacksmiths. Ah, what a nice manly profession! Doesn't get more anti-womenly then that, no sir! So we walked through the door to the sounds of hammer on steel. There was only one person in the room that we could see, and it was a women, about my age, covered in dirt, and dressed in rags. “Um pardon me miss, could we speak to the forger?” I asked while looking around the shop.
“What do you want?” she asked taking a break from beating the stuffing out of the piece of metal.
“Our mission is classified, we need to speak to the forger.” Oreo said.
“Well, your speaking with her.” She said. “Haha.” I laughed, *I don’t think a girl could-“ BANG, she struck her hammer down with such force it broke the metal piece in two, “-don’t kill me!”

21-Jan-2008 02:31:55 - Last edited on 17-Mar-2008 20:28:23 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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My name is Jaya, and I’ll be your guide today.” She said, “you can be the queen of the chickens for all I care just don’t hurt me, I am to important to die.” I said in a MANLY fetal position. Amy and Jaya sighed, “I’ll get my armor on, give me a minute and wait outside.” Jaya said.
So we wait outside, as instructed by the terminator lady. We got bored after about 10 seconds of waiting and told Yo*hi there was beer under the ground. He dug franticly, soon I found myself digging with him, thirsting for the beer. By the time she got out we had dug a moat around jaya** shop. A clean, beautiful girl walks out in shining steel armor, her hair flowing in the breeze. I turn to Yoshi and see he was slowly melting until he was nothing but a puddle.
“What’s wrong with him?” the now hotter Jaya asked. “well,” I begun,” I believe he was saying something along the lines of-“ and then I melt into a puddle as well. I meant to respond to her by saying "Well, he melts every time he meets a cute girl." But all that came out was "Eeeeeeheeeee..." Smooth.
“oh brother…” Amy said, shaking her head. After our bodies solidified again our now, incredibly hot guide--*Amy hits me*, it was worth it!—takes us on the road to white wolf mountain.
We had been on the road for hours. We walked in total silence with no comedic parts moments what-so-ever so it isn’t even worth mentioning. What? Why do you want to know about walking? OK OK you don’t have to yell!
Walking. . .
Walking . . .
Walking passed a singing lobster. . .
Walking. . .
Pauses to think about the lobster. . .
Goes back and eats the lobster. .
Thoroughly enjoyed said lobster, but sad we did*’t have
butter. . .
Stares at Jaya and melts. . .

21-Jan-2008 02:31:55 - Last edited on 05-Mar-2008 11:09:22 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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See? Boring stuff! We start to get tired of walking just as the mountain gets into view. Yoshi says, “About time!” and runs full steam ahead into the side of it, knocking him onto his back, in this position he lay staring at the sky, and he got a worried look on his face, “where did the mountain go?” he shot up and ran around in circles for a bit, giving us time to rest. About twenty minutes pass and he finally re-approaches us, “Don’t worry guys, I’ve found the mountain.” Yoshi says, you gotta love him.
The mountain looked steep, we were wondering how we could get over the colossal giant. Well, I’d have to start the climb sooner or later, so I grabbed well-placed mountain gear and began to climb. After what seemed like hours I finally got a break. I happened to stumble a rather large dirt embankment. So I took some time to rest, only then did I notice I was alone. I look down to the foot of the mountain (a whole 20 feet) but couldn’t find them.
It is then I start to hear voices, “No! the sickness! It has returned!” I cried out. Then I noticed the voices weren’t in my head, but my gang coming from a little path from behind me.
“Guys, how’d you get up here?” I asked, stunned. “There is a hiking trail through this mountain you know. . .”Jaya said. Yoshi said “Hiiiii Jaya. . .” while squeaking. I personally think Oreos father over reacted, I saw no clan in these mountains what-so-Oh wait there they are, RUN AWAY!” I said screaming. As we were running like girls, hmmm, Jaya*s a girl. . .No! Must think about surviving, I’ll just say one thing about the subject, I wish I could tell you Yoshi bravely sacrificed himself for the good of the group, but I just kicked him hard in the side of the knee, breaking his leg with an intense amount of gore. But don’t worry, he slowed them down so we could escape.

21-Jan-2008 02:31:56 - Last edited on 05-Mar-2008 11:22:06 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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As we ran for our lives, we happen to come upon a cliff. Almost a straight hundred foot freefall. How to test it. . .How to test it. . . Ah yes, and I chucked Yoshi over. WAIT a minute, something is wrong here, give me a sec. *reads what is earlier written in the diary* according to this strange book, I snapped his leg and let the ruthless clan get him! How odd, so I looked over the edge and I couldn’t find him! I was dumbfounded to say the least. As I stand peering over the said, a guy comes up behind me, “What you looking for noob?” he asked, “ well I just chucked a friend of mine-YO*HI!?” “yes your noobieness?” he asked. “but you! With the leg snapping! And the plunge! OW my brain hurts, nap time.” *thud* I hit the ground.
** **
I woke up in a daze. I did*’t feel snow anymore, but solid ground. I turned my head to see the others on the ground as well, but all awake. “Where are we-“ I began, “Shut up if you value your life.” Jaya said almost silently. So, I did what any man would do while talking to a lady, ignore them. So I got up, nothing happened. “see?” I said. Just then a brigade of guards rushed from all over with tiger-like reflexes. “State your business here strangers or your die before your body hits the ground.” One of them said. “Umm….Umm…Ummm…. I saw a singing lobster! Please don’t kill me!!!” I begged. “huhhhh…That is the Noob.” Jaya said while getting up. The guards looked around at each other, “yeah right, the Noob went missing over 50 years ago. Why would he just suddenly reappear?” a guard said. “no time for questions!” another guard responded, “we must take them to Neo.”

21-Jan-2008 02:31:56 - Last edited on 06-Mar-2008 20:12:52 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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With that the guards hand-cuffed us and trudged us to what we can presume could have been the palace. We were placed at the feet of a powerful looking person. “Who are you?” he asked.
I stood up and said, “I am the Noob of Runescape!” in a booming and overconfident voice. “I’ve heard that claim before. . .” Neo said while laughing. “But. . .But, I really am. . .” I said, a little disappointed.
Oreo steps up and explains the situation to him. “So! You want me to risk MY army to save first of 5? HA! What have they ever done for us??” Neo asked. “Not just you! If the clans don’t unite, Saradomin will come down into our kingdom and crush you!” Oreo said.
Neo takes this into consideration, “Even if I wanted to help, I couldn’t. the white wolf mountain separates us from 1 of 5’s main base, and a barbaric clan guards it harshly, I’d lose a lot of men going in there. . . I’ll strike a deal with you, if you get their permission to let us pass, I’ll give you the support of my army.” He ended with. “Sounds like a good deal, what do you suggest I do?” I asked. “Well, a priceless relic has been stolen from their people, and if we give it back to them, they would have to let us pass.* Neo said. *ok, sounds easy enough, what do we have to do? Slay a dragon, fight a troll maybe?” doodle asked. “No! you must enter. . . a gaming competition!” He said, “what was that?” Amy asked. “Yes indeed, the old town to the north of our position has offered that relic as the prize, not surprising, that town is build on thievery. The game you must play is. . . Checkers. . .Dun Dun Duuun.

21-Jan-2008 02:31:57 - Last edited on 05-Mar-2008 11:26:20 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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I got this cool training montage by Jaya, she was prepping me for the comp. man, “she is really amazing, isn’t she Yoshi?” I asked, “come on Noob, you have Amy, let me have her!!!” Yoshi pleaded, “Whose Amy?” I asked. Amy of course was insulted, slapped me, and stormed off. *wow, this sure is a weird town if random women come up to you and slap you.” I said.
Me, Yo*hi, and Jaya signed up. Oreo and Doodle ran off to get whats her name. The tournament was intense. Round one, Yoshi lost, “how could I lose? I am so good at Halo!” he said. “and that is why you lost Yo*hi.” Jaya said. Of course I owned some choob but! I was owning, and so was Jaya. . . Ok, I lost too, which is weird because I had to face Yo*hi. . . how this outcome came to pass? I don’t even know. But Jaya really knew what she was doing! Killing combatants as soon as they stepped up to the board, metaphorically and literally. In no time flat she won and received the relic, which looked to be a blood-red diamond as big as my fist!
We caught up with Oreo, Doodle, and Amy ( hey I remembered her name!) and we continued south to return to the 2 of 5 clan’s stronghold. “Wow Jaya you were amazing.” I said.
"Pfft. I coulda done that." Amy pouted, crossed her arms amd looked away.
“Here’s your diamond, now will you help us?” asked Doodle. Neo looks at it and then looks at us.* Expect us within the week, and with that he launched us through the roof on another one of those catapult things, hopefully towards Camelot.

21-Jan-2008 02:37:48 - Last edited on 05-Mar-2008 20:16:28 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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Day NINETYFOUR –Third of 5-
I woke up this morning before everyone else. My belly woke me up because it was hungry, and I’m not one to deny the persuasion of the belly. Using my ninja-like cooking / fire-making abilities, I was successful at failing to make a fire. I woke Doodle up and he casted a fire spell on the log and it quickly burst into flames. I made a make-shift spittle and put it over the fire. It was then that Jaya and uh… Oh what’s her name… GUH it’s on the tip of my tongue…AMY! There it is: Jaya and Amy. As I was saying, they walked out of the girly tent. Amy yawned, while Jaya walked over to me. I saw Amy give her a look behind her back.

Several thoughts raced through my mind at the same time: Does my hair look OK? Does my breath smell bad? Do I have BO? And now I’m just beginning to question WHY THERE WAS A SINGING LOBSTER!? All excellent questions, but I handled the situation suavely. I relaxed up shoulders, and stood up and took a step towards Jaya as she grew nearer. When Jaya reached me, I decided to start the conversation.
“Y-you hungry?” I asked. Jaya looked down and then came back up smiling. It took all my willpower for my legs not to turn into Jelly.
Jaya nodded slightly and said, “A bit, but call me back when you are cooking something other than yourself.” She winked at me and walked away over to Doodle to help him carry firewood.
After getting over the residual melting effect after she winked at me, I got to thinking on what she said. *I don’t get it… Cookie myself… I just don’t…-“ I looked down. I was standing in the fire. My head snapped up.
“Ooooooh, I get it! She said it because I am standing in fire! She was comparing me to food that gets cooked! That’s like a metaphor. Woo-wee, going to have to remember that one…” I proclaimed then stopped suddenly. Then I REALLY noticed that I was burning alive.

21-Jan-2008 02:37:49 - Last edited on 17-Mar-2008 20:52:26 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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“Ah! Ow ouch ouch ouch ouch hot hot hot!!!” I screamed and jumped out of the fire. I couldn’t help but notice most of my skin had melted away. Hmm, that is peculiar. Luckily, Oreo always kept a anti-fire potion with him. Who knew it healed fire effects?

We left later that day and marched to a hidden location so that Doodle could teleport us without anyone seeing. “But Noob,” Said Doodle, “I could just teleport us here. I mean, everyone teleports, no one is going to find it odd.”
“No!” I waived. “We do this MUH way!” So we spent about an hour walking to a hidden patch of land. It was only then did I consider it safe to teleport. Doodle teleported us a bit south of what was once Releka , which is where the Third of 5 resides.
“The guards will kill us on sight,” said Jaya, “This is a tribe of inhumane barbarians and bloodthirsty savages. Our only hope is to sneak in and try to surprise the leader and asking for an audience. Hopefully, the leader will not have us killed.”
A girl whose name is just on the edge of my memory stood up and said, “We’ll have to wait until they finish a guard shift. Then, as they switch, we can sneak past them.
I stood up and said, “Good thinking...Uh…Uh…Susan?”
“AMY!* She roared.
“Alright, alright, sheesh.” I rebutted. I’m pretty sure it’s Susan.
We finally reached the territorial line. On the line was watch towers set up every 2 miles or so. The tower was tall, and you would have to climb a big ladder to climb to the top. We had to wait for 3 long hours in the bushes, waiting for the guardss' shift to end. Finally, one of the guards yawned, said something inaudible to him friend, and beckoned him to the ladder. Jaya quickly looked around at us and whispered what we would do.

21-Jan-2008 02:37:49 - Last edited on 17-Mar-2008 20:57:29 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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*Ok, it will take them about 30 seconds to get to the ladder, and a minute to climb down the ladder, and about 2 minutes for the guards replacing them to climb up after that. That gives us about a 2-3 minute window of opportunity in which the line will not be guarded. See that building right there? We will run behind that. It is just out of sight of the guards and will allow us to sneak in unnoticed. OK, they are beginning to climb down; go NOW!” She said.
We ran through the dark as fast as we could, when suddenly Yo*hi tripped n an oddly-placed flock of geese. Huh, wonder how we missed that. We all stopped running and looked back at Yo*hi, who was gripping his ankle. “Go on without me!” He mouthed. Little did he know, we had already restarted running.
“Nooooob!” came Yo*hi’s whine from the darkness, “I was only kidding!”
We retreated back to Yo*hi, when we were caught in a circle of light. I have never seen such a bright light before, and one so focused. “Spotlight!” Jaya said, “They know we’re here! C’mon, we have to go!” Jaya helped Yoshi up and turned around to be face-to-face with a guard. We turned the other way to see a squad coming at us from the north. Jaya looked like she was going to fight until we all looking up to see a barrage of archers aiming at us.
A tough looking guard that I’m guessing was the guard leader stepped forth towards us. *What will it be?” He asked, “Surrender with shame, or fight and die with honor?” Pfft! I already knew the answer to that! A few minutes later, we were in chains and getting dragged to a jail cell, probably to be tortured for information and then killed. Lovely! Just how I wanted to spend my afternoon. As we were marching along, a slight realization came over me: The barbarians stink at metal work! The chains I was wearing kept falling off my wrist and onto the ground! Geez, they need to be more careful, or someone could escape! Amy noticed this and nudged me.

21-Jan-2008 02:37:49 - Last edited on 17-Mar-2008 21:00:11 by FriendshipUI

FriendshipUI

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“Hey! You can get out of your chains! Slip out and run…to…uh…” She mumbled.
“To that building over there.” Jaya finished. “That is the building that is the most likely location that the leader of the Third of 5 is in.”
I nodded to Jaya. “Good idea.” I heard Amy mutter something like “It was my plan” or whatever, but it doesn’t matter! I leaned towards Yoshi and whispered in his ear.
“Yo*hi, make a distraction so they won’t notice when I escape,” I said. Yoshi looked baffled.
“How?” He asked back.
“I dunno!” I whispered, “Tell a joke!”
Yoshi nodded and ran ahead of the guards, making them stop and begin to draw their weapons. “Hey guards! How many dumb, smelly barbarians does it take to light up a candle!? 1000! 1 to light up the candle, and 999 to stand around being stupid and getting drunk!” Yoshi burst out laughing. “GET IT!?”
I was gone around the corner before I saw what happened to Yo***. It was sure nice knowing him, wasn’t it? Anyway, I walked up to a big entrance to a giant hut, and peered in. It was like a primitive throne room and feast hall, with barbarians and savages stuffing their faces and a guy I’m guessing to be the leader on a throne made of bones. Did*’t look to comfy.
It was then I realized I was totally unprepared. What? Would I just walk in? Well, that being my first idea, I guess I better do it. I took a deep breath and walked through the arch. At first, most people were too busy eating and drinking to notice me, and the few that did were to wasted to warn the others. Heeeey! My plan just might work after all!
I carefully maneuvered around some drunken savages, and tried to stay out of view of the sober ones. Then I felt an odd sensation building up inside me. It started in my throat, and moved down to my lungs. I felt my lungs suddenly contract. “Uh-oh…” I thought, “Please, not now!” But it was too late.
“Achooo!” I sneezed loudly. Silence filled the hall.

21-Jan-2008 02:37:50 - Last edited on 26-Apr-2008 20:11:06 by FriendshipUI

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