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Conan:By the looks of this room he did.
Cheezit92 pushed on the door to see what was happening only to find it locked. A second push didn't help. He glanced suspiciously over his shoulder at Duke Horacio, but it seemed all he knew how to do was pace the room. Who had locked the door? He pounded a fist against the door and guessed by the sudden silence that he had caught the attention of the people outside, but then a second later he heard them retreating down the corridor.
Conan on't be daft Duck, just look at whats written on the door...
...and then they were too far off to hear.
Cheezit92 sat down by the door and almost cried. By Zamorak, he was having some weird mood swings lately. What was happening out there? Did his people need him? And how many shields could he get out of Duke Horacio?
Once more filled with purpose he strode to the duke only to see that many of the shields on the bed had disappeared.
Cheezit92 id you take them?
Duke Horacio didn't respond.
Cheezit92:Answer me
Still nothing. Cheezit92 sighed.
Cheezit92:I seek a shield that...
By the time his rescuers came 70 shields once again littered the bed and he had discovered he could make the pile no higher, the shields just kept disappearing.
Shplurge23:Wow. So mssy.
Ratherdashng:Is he dead?
Cheezit92 rushed to the door and pounded on it.
Cheezit92:Is who dead? OPEN THIS DOOR!
He heard hurried feet patter towards him on the other side of the door.
Ratherdashng:Who is it?
Shplurge23:Just a non-important person, can't u read?
Cheezit92:I'm Cheezit92. Who's dead?
He felt someone pound on the door from the outside.
Ratherdashng:It's locked
Shplurge23:Is it really Cheezit92?
Cheezit92:Who else would it be? Find Lil Zezima plz.
Ratherdashng:K, I'll try.
Feet ran off.
It was two hours before the door was opened and it required a dwarf cannon to blow it off its hinges in the end (no noobs were strong enough to break through with axes). Cheezit92 had never been more relieved.

27-May-2006 17:49:29

During the last hour in the room he had had the peculiar feeling that Duke Horacio had been coming onto him. He felt the duke's eyes resting on him when he turned his back, but whenever Cheezit92 whirled towards the duke he was staring in the opposite direction. Besides, there had to be some reason the duke was giving him so many shields. It gave him the creeps.
Cheezit92 was ordered against a wall and soon after the door exploded inwards with a shower of splinters, the cannonball also disfiguring the nice bed on its way through, ripping a gaping holl in it. Ratherdashng was the first through.
Ratherdashng:Are you alright my lord?
Cheezit92 jumped to his feet and ran to the door all the while feeling the duke's eyes on his back.
A cheer erupted from the noobs outside. He had had no idea how big a crowd this debacle had drawn. perhaps five score noobs were coming forward, trying to pat him on the back. He pushed his way through coldly. He had been filled in on what had happened recently by Shplurge23 through the door. Already he could hear the whispers spreading behind his back - Where had the general been when his people needed him most?
Why, he had managed to lock himself in a bedroom.
Turning towards his room, he was stopped by Ratherdashng.
Ratherdashng:You dont want to go in there my lord
And the man was right, he didn't.
Cheezit92:Inform everyone we're having a meeting in front of Lumbridge
Cheezit92:We're going to get revenge
Ratherdashng mumbled something beneath his breath and was about to run off, but Cheezit92 grabbed his sleeve.
Cheezit92:And jail Duke Horacio, I don't want him roaming Lumbridge's halls
Ratherdashng one
Ratherdashng rather dashingly dashed off and Cheezit92 walked down to Lumbridge's entrance. His head was buzzing again.

27-May-2006 17:49:49

14 – Madness

"I see you"
-Zamorak
(Scariest quote yet I think)

Cheezit92:What do you mean Duke Horacio's gone?
Ratherdashng:He escaped
Cheezit92:But he was well-guarded!
Ratherdashng:Apparently he bribed the guards with anti-dragon shields
Cheezit92 idn't I order you to take all of those from him?
Ratherdashng:He gave us 10,000 and then we gave up
Cheezit92 **n
This whole week hadn't gone well. At the meeting he had heard of the demise of Zesty Meadow, and only a few days ago Lil Zezima's body had been found. Obviously he had been chasing the retreating elitists up into the Wildy. A foolhardy thing to do, yet valiant nonetheless. The populace was already making stories about him.
Two of his best people, gone just like that.
The meeting had been hectic. Enraged noobs shouting "Kill the elitists!" and "Down with Zezima." He had hardly been able to talk at all. At least it had evoked the wrath of the noobs. The lack of security in non-Wildy territory worked both ways, and people with lvl 50 and up were being slaughtered in droves, overrun by blood-thirsty noobs and with no place to hide. All of the elitists seemed to have retreated into the Wildy to the Mage Fortress except for those in Ardougne, their last non-Wildy stronghold.
Ratherdashng: There is also news of Mr. Happy from Eyegouge27.
Cheezit92:Has he revealed anything?
Ratherdashng:Nope.
Ratherdashng:She says he hasn't talked ever since the massacre.
Ratherdashng:She also reports his skin has dried considerably...
Cheezit92:Have we been giving him enough to drink?
Ratherdashng:Yes, but it just seems to seep out the back of his head
Ratherdashng:He doesn't eat either
Ratherdashng ersonally, I think he's outlived his usefulness
Cheezit92:Let's end his miserable life then
Ratherdashng:I'll take care of it
That was one good thing that had come of the meeting. Ratherdashng was now Cheezit92's second in command and advisor.

27-May-2006 17:50:05

27-May-2006 17:50:16

15 – A Visit From Texan85

A scarecrow lies in Lumbridge cells,
Its brain deep in the Wildy dwells,
With crackling flame and noxious fume,
Both the fire will consume.

Zezima tried not to flinch as the worn form of a man was thrown at his feet. His plain clothes smelled of sulphur and sweat.
Zezima:What is this?
Muad Dhib:We don't know my lord.
Voldemort:We found him near Edgeville. He says he was captured by the noobs.
Zezima:Really...I didn't know they had captured anybody.
Zezima:They only seem to kill.
Voldemort:We questioned some people. No one knows him.
Muad Dhib:He appears to be mad.
Voldemort:He was cutting trees with a knife when we found him.
Zezima:Intriguing. Have you interrogated him?
Voldemort:He doesn't respond.
Muad Dhib:He says he is joining our side.
Zezima:Mr. Happy.
(c)Mr. Happy:?
Zezima:You were with the noobs?
Mr. Happy:They are killing Sam
Zezima:Who is Sam?
Mr. Happy:I can feel him burning!
Zezima:?
Muad Dhib:He talks of this Sam alot. Apparently a companion of his.
(c)Mr. Happy:Stop! Please!
Tears were leaking down his face. Zezima addressed Mr. Happy again.
Zezima id the noobs tell you anything?
Mr. Happy:They taught me
Zezima:Taught you what?
Mr. Happy f the ruins and the trees and the fletching knife
Mr. Happy f the frozen man and his army
Zezima:The frozen man?
Mr. Happy:He lives in a dungeon and there is more than one of him
Zezima:Whose side is he on?
Mr. Happy:All these questions...plz! Stop!
Zezima (in a soothing voice):How did you escape these noobs?
Mr. Happy: Lil Zezima told me to go that was all.
(c)Mr. Happy:I don't need to answer.
Zezima:Lil Zezima?
Muad Dhib:Used to be Ch(c)eezit92's second in command.
(c)Mr. Happy:He deserved it...Oh Sam!
Zezim*:Is Mr. Happy a spy?
Voldemort:I don't believe so.
Zezima:Well I want him out of this castle anyway. We'll take no chances.
Muad Dhib:Shall we dispose of him?
Zezima o what you like.

27-May-2006 17:50:25

Zezima o what you like.
(c)Mr. Happy:15 ashes have sparked a fire not even you can control
Mr. Happy:These walls are red with flame
But Zezima was trying to concentrate on the world map. He didn't hear or care about what Mr. Happy was saying. Zezima didn't promote mad men joining his ranks. Concentrate.
He was safe here in the mage arena - no noobs had as yet found their way past the lvl 46 Wildy. How safe were his people in Ardougne though? Or the other bases closer to the noob lines? Noobs still far outnumbered elitists even with elitists now training o**noobs or killing them for sport. So many new opportunities had opened up with this new bug.
Perhaps he would go see Harkonan900's hunting grounds. A day off on Karamja hunting noobs through the virgin jungle might ease his mind. Half of the elitists that made the journey down there never returned, but those that did said it was worth the risk. What weapon would he choose?
He snapped his mind back to work. There was a war to fight and although he had known his next target for days, he hadn't decided how to reach it. Quickly he private messaged Voldemort.
Zezima:Get in here again.
Voldemort:?
Zezima:I need some advice.
Texan85:Is anyone here from Texas?
Voldemort:I'll be right there.
Zezima:No.
Voldemort:?
What? Zezima spun around, expecting to see someone in the room. No one was there. There had been someone though, he had heard him.
Voldemort:No?
Zezima:Nvm.
Zezima sat back down again. He must have imagined it, there could have been no one else. No Texan. He settled his thoughts back on his plans.

27-May-2006 17:50:34

16 – A Discovery

(About Cheezit92)
As elitist laws he did refute,
And war seemed on the verge,
He had the good luck to recruit,
A valiant thaumaturge.

Doolittle32:I can't feel a pulse
Doolittle32 raised his head and bent his neck to meet Ratherdashng's eyes. He was dressed all in white, with a white ring of hair on his head.
Doolittle32:I think I’ve discovered the problem tho
What had the noobs done to Mr. Happy? Ratherdashng wondered. His buttony eyes stared off into the distance as though all life had left them. Furthermore, (c)Mr. Happy had not moved an inch over the past days, not even while the rats gnawed off part of one of his legs. There were too many rats in Lumbridge.
Doolittle32:It's not my line of work tho
Ratherdashng lz tell me
Doolittle32:He's turning into a ghost
Ratherdashng:?
He didn't think he'd heard correctly. A ghost? Doolittle32 continued talking however and Ratherdashng decided he should listen.
Doolittle32:It happens to many as they become elitist.
Doolittle32:Surely you've seen the see-through elitists?
Ratherdashng did remember something of the sort.
Returning to Varrock east bank after an unfruitful day of work in Varrock center (in other words waiting for someone to die there and drop gold or items) he had seen the spectre. Clad in filmy robes and transparent enough to see Varrock's wooden shacks through its body, it had come running down the road of Varrock.
He had glimpsed it a few seconds and then it was gone, rushing westwards to greet the sunset. If he had known it was a ghost...he didn't think he would have reacted differently. There were alot of weird things in this world.
Ratherdashng:Yes, I saw one
Doolittle32:Splendid. They don't become ghosts all at once I believe
Doolittle32:It happens over time
Ratherdashng:And Mr. Happy is in the middle stages
Doolittle32:I guess so
Doolittle32:Water drains thru him. He doesn't eat. No heart beat
Doolittle32:It makes sense

27-May-2006 17:50:59

Ratherdashng:I can still feel his body tho
Doolittle32:Ah, the body is the last to go
Ratherdashng:We should get him out of here quickly
Ratherdashng r else he'll just float out of his cell!
Doolittle32:I would advise so
Two hours later Ratherdashng was back in the cell. Others were already readying the Lumbridge courtyard, and he was to bring the prisoner up. Tentatively he laid a hand on Mr. Happy's arm. It was prickly and fibrous. What would he have done if his hand had passed right through?
Ratherdashng:I'm sry, but ur day to die has come.
Ratherdashng:Any last words?
No response. He sighed. This was why he didn't want to become an elitist, so many dangers you didn't know about awaited you.
Wedging both hands beneath Mr. Happy'* body he prepared to lift him, but surprisingly little strength was necessary. Saradomin!, the man was as light as if he were made of straw. He smelled as if he were made of straw too. Oh well, Ratherdashng guessed it was better than most people smelled after a long confinement without access to a bath.
Boos and jeers erupted as he emerged carrying Mr. Happy from Lumbridge castle. All of Lumbridge had turned out to witness the elitist's death. People in frivolous prince outfits stood shoulder to shoulder with those clothed in bleak and ragged attire, all producing an incomprehensible flood of sound as Mr. Happy was brought to a pile of logs in the courtyard with a pole protruding from its center and tied to it.
Cheezit92 alone stood apart from the crowd on a hastily erected podium.
Cheezit92:Quiet, plz
It took a few minutes but eventually a hush descended upon the gathering.
Cheezit92:Alright, ty
Cheezit92:We are gathered here today to witness the execution
Cheezit92 f Mr. Happy for heinous crimes against the rebels
Cheezit92:Apparently he was turning into a ghost
Gasps echoed from the crowd.
Cheezit92:We have hired Fathermooney to exorcise the spirit before the burning
Cheezit92:Fathermooney

27-May-2006 17:51:11

Cheezit92 relinquished the podium as Fathermooney stepped up. Mooney was a completely bald yet well-muscled man, but what caught the eye most was the glittering amulet of ghostspeak that rested around Fathermooney's neck.
Fathermooney:I will first try to speak to it, and, if that fails
Fathermooney:I might have to resort to different means
Fathermooney lz stand back while I work
Striding to Mr. Happy, he seized the mans shoulders.
Fathermooney:What is your name?
If there was any reply it was inaudible to the crowd.
Fathermooney:Can you hear me?
Fathermooney:Say anything...
For five minutes Fathermooney questioned yet Mr. Happy remained silent.
Fathermooney:Alright, I am going to chase the spirit out then
Sweat stained his brow.
Fathermooney:Stand back...
White wind erupted from Mooney and struck Mr. Happy. Nothing happened. Mechanically Father Mooney ran through every spell he knew (he had lvl 25 magic), but nothing seemed to stir Mr. Happy.
Fathermooney:Um...thats all I could do. We'll hope the spirit is gone
Cheezit92:Alright. Discollama2!
Discollama2 pushed his way through the crowd, upon reaching the stack of logs he kneeled down and lit it with his tinderbox. Sputtering flames gave way to full-fledged fire as logs were consumed by the heat.
Ratherdashng retreated, stepping up beside Cheezit92 on the podium. He looked at Cheezit92 to see him staring intently at the growing fire, the blaze reflected in his eyes. Cheezit92 was muttering under his breath but Ratherdashng couldn't catch the words. There was no fear in those eyes, instead a lust filled them, burning like the fire.
Ratherdashng turned away. He himself was somewhat frightened. For as long as he could remember he had had a phobia of ghosts. What would happen when the blaze touched Mr. Happy? Would a spirit erupt from him, shrieking off into the night?

27-May-2006 17:51:24

In the end, it was about half so bad as Ratherdashng had thought. A spark touched Mr. Happy and suddenly his body was livid with fire. His face blackened and he appeared to shrivel in on himself.
It was over in seconds. Buckets of water were brought in to douse the fire, turning it into a mire of sodden ashes.
The only inhuman thing had been the silence of Mr. Happy, Ratherdashng reflected. I'm sure all human beings burn up like that, but most would die screaming.
Cheezit92 regained the podium and the crowd began to chant. Ratherdashng joined in: "Cheezit! Cheezit! Cheezit!" from thousands of mouths.
Cheezit92:Quiet down plz
But the crowd overrode him. Cries rising up into the dark sky, gaining ever more momentum.
Cheezit92:I want to talk about war.
Silence descended almost immediately.
Cheezit92:After much thought I have decided we must
Cheezit92:Capture all of the non-Wildy
Cheezit92 n the morrow our march to Ardougne begins!
A cheer erupted from the masses.
Cheezit92:You have seen the atrocities of the elitists!
Crowd:Yes!
Cheezit92:Elitists must be brought down!
Crowd:Yes!!
Cheezit92:You will die for this cause!
Crowd:Yes!!!
Cheezit92:You will each give 50gp to me!!
Crowd:Yes!!!!
Suddenly angry cries erupted from the crowd. What was the 50gp for? Cheezit92 had tricked them! But they died down as Cheezit92 once again raised his voice.
Cheezit92:We need the money for battle expenses
Cheezit92:Frugle23 will be collecting it
Cheezit92:Now, this meeting is over.
Cheers erupted once again as the noobs broke apart and began preparing for the impending battle.

27-May-2006 17:52:33