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Azure Sunday

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11 – Calpern(c)ia

DARKNESS FELL

Darkness fell,
Down a well,
Hit his head,
Now he dead.
-The Great Scribe - Tompayne2
As Lil Zezima closed the door and locked it from the outside he heard the first screams from Lumbridge's courtyard. ****, they were here already! It seemed only moments since Magex24'* appearance. His fingers fumbled the key as he imagined what could happen if he were still here in a few minutes. The crazed elitists running through the halls would not recognize him as an ally. He took a breath. Patience. They weren't in the castle yet.
Taking out a bottle of red dye, he dipped his fingers into the jar and quickly scrawled NON-IMPORTANT PERSON ROOM on the door. There, that should keep the elitists out.
Cheezit92:Why am i in here again?
HIs voice sounded faint through the door.
Lil Zezima:Ur room is being cleaned at the moment.
Lil Zezima:U'll have to stay in here for an hour or two.
Cheezit92

k
Lil Zezima:Also, don't be alarmed by screams.
Lil Zezima:The maid likes to scream while she works.
Cheezit92:We should get rid of her
Lil Zezima:Well, she's the best we have. Brb
It would have to do. He set off down the hall at a trot. Hopefully it would be a while until Cheezit92 realized he was locked in. Passing Cheezit92's room, he decided to look in just to make sure everything was all right. Instantly Hairy Porter's high-pitched voice screeched through the air.
Hairy Porter:This is so much privilege!
Lil Zezima:Yes
Hairy Porter:I just learning how to act like Cheezit92
Hairy Porter:I cant believe I won.
Lil Zezima nodded. Just an hour ago young Hairy Porter had won "a lottery" and had been rewarded with the chance to be in Cheezit92's position for a day. In other words Lil Zezima had picked him to be Che(c)ezit92 because Hairy Porterlooked like Cheezit92, had the IQ of a body rune, and also had been getting on Lil Zezima's nerves lately.
Lil Zezima:Then act like Cheezit
Hairy Porter:How?

27-May-2006 17:46:15

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Lil Zezima:Um...go to the window with ur bow
Hairy Porter:Really? I can touch the bow?
He stared at the wood bow in awe.
Lil Zezima:Yes
Hairy Porter:Wow, it's like my dreams.
Lil Zezima:I bet in ur dreams u didn't die.
Hairy Porter:?
Lil Zezima:Uh...I said ur dreams didn't lie.
Hairy Porter

, ty
Lil Zezima decided it was time to leave. He headed to the door.
Hairy Porter:Wave at me
Lil Zezima turned around to see Hairy Porter use the wave emote.
Hairy Porter: Since i'm leader I want everyone to wave. Bye bye
Lil Zezima waved.
Lil Zezima:C ya too...
...freak, he added as he closed the door behind him.
Alright, Cheezit92 was taken care of. He had his faults but he didn't deserve to die. Lil Zezima was going to save his life. He owed Cheezit92 that much for trusting in him. Now for the second part of his plans which would surely name him traitor.
On his way down the the cells he was suddenly pushed violently from behind causing him to sprawl onto the floor. He twisted around immediately on impact, dagger in hand, expecting to see Magex24 or some other elitist face, but it was Zesty Meadow.
Zesty Meadow:Sry, I didn't see you
Zesty Meadow had increased his combat lvl significantly over the last few days. He was now a 23 and was boasting that soon he would try to battle two skeletons at the same time. He offered a hand to Lil Zezima, who took it, and yanked him to his feet.
Zesty Meadow:There's a fight in the courtyard
Zesty Meadow:Come with me
Lil Zezima:I'm sry, I can't
Zesty Meadow:?
Lil Zezima:I have more important things to do
Zesty Meadow:What could be more important than...
Lil Zezima:I have to protect Cheezit92
Zesty Meadow:Alright, c ya then
He headed off down the corridor but stopped when
Lil Zezima:Wait!
Lil Zezima:I have something to give u
Trade screens were quickly brought up and the key to Cheezit92's room switched hands.
Lil Zezima:Keep it. You'll know what its for soon

27-May-2006 17:46:47

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

It would be safe in Zest Meadow's hands, he was a general even elitists would have trouble reckoning with. Zesty Meadow muttered a ty and bounded off to his room to don his armor, or maybe store the key there. Lil Zezima, however, ran down the stairs to the main floor at breakneck speed. He wanted to get to Mr. Happy before the elitists did. Upon reaching the ground level of the castle he was confronted by a crowd of noob guards that plugged up the hallway before him. He heard the screams and crunches of battle coming from the kitchen to his right and decided it was best not to linger here.
Lil Zezima:Make way for 2nd in command!
The noobs parted as much as possible, and watched with hopeful expressions as he squeezed between them. He heard muffled voices coming from behind him and turned to see Zesty Meadow following him through the passageway he had opened. The stairs to the cellars and cells were in his sight now and he pushed ahead frantically only to backpedal just as frantically when Calpern(c)ia, a monstrous elitist woman perhaps 7 feet tall and half as wide, burst into the crowd of noobs before him weilding a dragon sword (the halls were too narrow to allow for a longer weapon).
Once more he collided with Zesty Meadow coming the opposite direction and once more he found himself falling to the floor. He kept his balance though, just barely. Zamorak!, but falling to the ground here would mean a certain death, trampled by the feet of all the surrounding noobs.
Zesty Meadow:What do you think you're doing?
He was being pushed ahead again, to where Calpern(c)ia had forsaken her sword and was now crushing noobs against walls with her hands. His mind seemed to go blank with terror as he came closer to Calpern(c)ia. And then her gaze fell on him. There was murder in those bulbous eyes that reminded him so much of the eyes of a squid. Not knowing what else to do, he executed perfectly the clap and the spin, the signal many elitist groups used to greet each other.

27-May-2006 17:47:09 - Last edited on 27-May-2006 17:47:29 by Azure Sunday

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Calpern(c)ia's eyes suddenly held doubt and there was a gasp from Zesty Meadow behind him, but none of that mattered now. He dove past Calpern(c)ia, a tricky feat considering how much of the hallway she took up, and, miraculously, made it to the other side. He glanced furtively over his shoulder as he ran for the stairs.
Calpern(c)ia had turned to stare after him, a wondering expression in her eyes. Then he turned back and concentrated solely on the steps, not hearing the thump as Zesty Meadow's axe lodged itself in the back of Calpern(c)ia's head, but definitely feeling the vibrations as her body hit the ground. All of Lumbridge must have felt those!

27-May-2006 17:47:49

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

12 – Flight

THE YOYO MAN

The yoyo man he came to town,
And built a wall of bricks,
Which he around the people wound,
As they witnessed his tricks.

He swallowed fire,
People tried,
And each one burnt his tongue,
He played the lyre,
People cried,
And from the trees they hung.

And when he finally chose to die,
That town that once had thrived,
They lept from high out through the sky,
And not a one survived.

The yoyo man he packed his bags,
He took off up the road,
To climb back down amongst the crags,
Into his dark abode.

The sounds of battle had long since faded to a distant murmur by the time Lil Zezima neared the TORTOOR room. No opposition had met him on this lower floor and, apart from the occasionaly scuffling from within the cells he passed, there were no signs of life here either. All the jailors must have joined in the fighting upstairs.That was good, otherwise someone might wonder why he was dragging a scarecrow through the Lumbridge cellars.
Upon reaching Mr. Happy'* cell he was surprised to hear voices beyond the door. He pressed his ear against the doorcrack and was able to make out "There's no such thing as note trees" in a weak voice that might have been Mr. Happy'*. A different voice, nasal and high-pitched asked "but why did someone have yew notes then?" Someone cried for a little bit and then a song drifted out through the door, eerily muffled by the wood-
"Twisting, burning,
Screaming, turning,
They all fall..."
Suddenly the song became unintelligible once more as Lil Zezima straightened at the snap of footsteps. Their sharp taps echoed down the corridor still a ways off he thought but in these corridors you could never tell for certain.
Lil Zezima rappedd on the Torture room door and the music within stopped abruptly. Silence followed.
Lil Zezima:Hello?
No answer.
Lil Zezima:Hellooo?
No answer, but someone was shuffling around in there and he heard whispering.
Lil Zezima:Eyegouge27?

27-May-2006 17:47:58

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

No answer. He decided to enter. Putting the scarecrow to one side of the door he pushed it open and stepped into the room.
Lil Zezima:I'm sorry to interrupt
He stopped. A glance into the room had shown only a disheveled Mr. Happy huddled in a corner of the room staring at him with a slight grin on his face. His eyes locked on Lil Zezima's.
Lil Zezima:Hi?
Mr. Happy grinned at him.
Lil Zezima:Who was in here with you?
Lil Zezima checked behind the door and peered about the room as though someone might materialize from the walls.
(c)Mr. Happy:He's gone
Lil Zezima:He?
Mr. Happy:Cheezit92
Lil Zezima:?
Mr. Happy:Ur with Cheezit92
Lil Zezima:No, I'm helping u. No one is in here with you?
Mr. Happy:What do you want. There's nothing I can tell you.
Lil Zezima:I'm here to help. I heard someone in here with you
Mr. Happy:You mean Sam?
Lil Zezima:Sam?
Mr. Happy

, he's gone
Mr. Happy:He left through the window
Lil Zezima peered around the room but saw nothing but stark stone walls. He returned his gaze to Mr. Happy to find him chewing on his own pantleg. All of his clothes looked somewhat stringy and ragged now that he looked closer.
Lil Zezima:What are you doing?
Mr. Happy continued chewing. The scarecrow suddenly reentered Lil Zezima's thoughts and he rushed to the door to find it where he had left it. The footsteps were gone however, if the person had seen the scarecrow they hadn't stopped to investigate. Dragging it into the cell drew Mr. Happy'* attention once more.
(c)Mr. Happy:Who is that?
Lil Zezima:It's a scarecrow...
(c)Mr. Happy:He looks unhealthy
Lil Zezima

k, stand up we're getting u out of here.
Lil Zezima pulled Mr. Happy to his feet and, seeing he couldn't stand steadily, led him to the door and told him to lean against it as he arranged the scarecrow. By the time he was done he thought the scarecrow looked quite like a person huddling against the cell's wall. Would the noobs actually fall for it though?

27-May-2006 17:48:09

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Perhaps he overestimated their stupidity. He left it there anyway. It might fool them for a day or so and by then he'd be long gone.
(c)Mr. Happy:He looks like Sam
Mr. Happy was staring at the scarecrow. Lil Zezima sighed. Although it seemed little physical harm had been inflicted upon Mr. Happy, the noobs had done something to his brain. Perhaps getting him out of the cell would help remedy that.
Letting Mr. Happy rest his weight on his shoulders, Lil Zezima led him out the door with only small difficulties, but when he tried to close the door behind them Mr. Happy lunged for the door, sticking his arm out to stop it from closing and came milliseconds shy of crunching his fingers in the door.
(c)Mr. Happy:Your leaving Sam in there?!
His eyes turned wildly on Lil Zezima who backed away. He guessed Mr. Happy was talking about the scarecrow.
(c)Mr. Happy:You're just going to let him die like that?!!
Lil Zezima:We have to and he wont die
Lil Zezima:Calm down and i'll tell you why
He tentatively touched Mr. Happy'* hand with his own and when Mr. Happy didn't react he grabbed hold of it and led the former prisoner away from his cell and towards freedom.
For half a minute or so Mr. Happy glared sullenly ahead but then he seemed to forget about Sam and soon he was singing again.
(c)Mr. Happy:That town that once had thrived
Mr. Happy:They lept from high out through the sky
Mr. Happy was able to stumble along without support by now, but at this line he suddenly stopped.
(c)Mr. Happy

o you hear it?
Lil Zezima:?, we really need to move
Mr. Happy:It's in there
With a furious jerk Mr. Happy twisted out of Lil Zezima's grip, lurched a few steps down the hall and swerved into one of the rooms lining the corridor. Lil Zezima swore and took chase, marking out of the corner of his eye that the door to this room bore the title TORTOORER ROOM before bursting into it. (c)Mr. Happy was standing in the room holding a knife, a disturbingly plain one.

27-May-2006 17:48:24

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Lil Zezima retreated a step, wondering if he should run.
(c)Mr. Happy

o you know what this is for?
Lil Zezima:Fletching?
He didn't know what else to say.
(c)Mr. Happy:Nope, cutting trees in mysterious ruins
And with a flash the knife disappeared into Mr. Happy'* clothes somewhere. He stood in the room looking as innocent as he ever had.
Lil Zezima held out a shaking hand, all the while eyeing Mr. Happy'* clothes for a bulge or a glint of metal. Nothing. Just pretend the knife isn't there, he decided. Don't think about it. He'll need a weapon anyway for self-protection.
Lil Zezima:We must leave.
He sighed gratefully as Mr. Happy grasped his hand and followed him out of the room.
Lil Zezima:Be quiet now, we're nearing people
He could hear voices but not many shouts. Was the elitist sneak attack over?
As they ran up the steps and into the corridors of Lumbridge's ground floor, which were littered with bodies, he felt relief wash over him. They were almost out, and Mr. Happy was actually being silent!
He equipped the bow he always had in his inventory as they entered Lumbridge courtyard but no elitists were anywhere in sight. A large group was milling about one corner of the courtyard though, and the stink of death permeated the air. They ran until just southeast of Varrock then slowed to a walk again.(c)Mr. Happy began speaking -
(c)Mr. Happy:The moon is out
Lil Zezima:Yes...
(c)Mr. Happy:And all of her eyes
Mr. Happy:They have seen terrible things tonight
Lil Zezima:We're almost in the wildy. There we part
Mr. Happy

ark sky, dark blood, dark cells
Lil Zezima:The elitists will accept u but not me
Mr. Happy

ark measures
They reached the wildy and Lil Zezima turned Mr. Happy towards him, grabbing his shoulders.
Lil Zezima:I will be an outcast until I'm high enough to join u
Mr. Happy:So much death...
Lil Zezima:Yes, and much more before the end of this war I dont doubt
Lil Zezima cut off as a sudden pain blossomed in his chest.

27-May-2006 17:48:40

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

He tried to draw a breath but couldn't.
(c)Mr. Happy:That's for leaving Sam to die on his own
LIl Zezima fell to the ground clutching at his chest. What was happening? His hand hit an object and another jolt of pain roared through him. The world spun.
(g)Mr. Happy:Ur as bad as Cheezit
And then Mr. Happy was walking away, singing a new song to the night and leaving Lil Zezima to live the last moments of his life with a fletching knife protruding from between his ribs. He made a point of picking up Lil Zezima's bow on his way into the Wildy and then he began to run - dodging trees, hopping roots, feeling the wind in his hair. He was free!
He stopped, out of energy, in lvl 20 Wildy and on instinct climbed a nearby gnarled tree. He spent two hours there, imagining how Cheezit92 would chase him into the Wildy and get sniped by his arrow. Jumping down, energized once more, he sprinted ever-northwards, not even realizing he was laughing.

27-May-2006 17:48:51

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

13 – Duke Horacio

A duck with luck,
A lucky ducky,
Swam in my pond this morning...
And I ate it for lunch.

-The Great Scribe-Tompayne2

It took a long time for Cheezit92 to realize the door to his room was locked. The truth of it was this room was more comfortable than his own, having a soft king-sized bed pushed up against one wall. Cheezit92 sat on its red satin covering and it sank beneath his weight. They must have used the best goosedown in Lumbridge!
The only disquieting thing was that there was another man in the room. Apparently his name was Duke Horacio, but if he was a duke he was a very quiet one. Striding constantly about the room, he appeared deep in thought. Eventually Cheezit92 let him be, and soon forgot about him as he lay back on the mattress. Two hours of sleep on a soft bed, not much could beat that.
Cheezit92 got no sleep however. Within minutes of Lil Zezima's departure the maid started up. As far as he could tell she was screaming downstairs for the time being. The sound still carried into Cheezit92's room though. He wondered when she was going to come upstairs and do his room, he hoped it was soon.
Throughout the next hour he preoccupied himself with Duke Horacio. The man was more interesting than he had previously thought!
Cheezit92:I seek a shield that will protect me from dragon breath
He waited, thinking this time the duke would do nothing, but he handed him another anti-dragon shield! Cheezit92 added it to the stack of them on his bed, then asked the man again. As he added yet another shield he wondered how stupid this man was. Didn't he know he had already given Cheezit92 21 shields? Apparently not.
By the time Cheezit92 heard voices outside his room, the bed was filled with more than 70 shields and he had determined the duke's supply was inexhaustible. How much would all of these sell for? He couldn't wait to find out.
Conan:You sure he's dead?
Ducktape:We'll just have to trust Voldemort did his job correctly.

27-May-2006 17:49:08

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