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The Black Pentagram

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chrombor
Jun Member 2017

chrombor

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Great story, but I think that if you keep going the way you are with the series you will never finish it. Also, throughout this series it seems as if it's always " Oh search for this and use/destroy it." It feels like a videogame with a lot of fetch-quests. Also, the characters seem almost emotionless. At times they feel like walking muscle, swinging swords or casting super powerful spells. And there is Aquaregis, this super powerful age who seems to be talented in absoulutely everything. And you seem to introduce more characters than you can handle, some which mysteriously appear and help the group before disapearing. Please repost The Monolith and without the Alex-is-a-girl plot twist.

29-Nov-2009 06:00:29

Dantalian

Dantalian

Posts: 3,434 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Very well, I will do as you ask. The Monolith will be re-posted, but expect there to be a large number of changes. If your still interested, simply search for it, I'll have it up before Monday night, and will aim to update it twice weekly, once by Monday night, and once by Thursday night.

EDIT: It's up now "He appears in the Form of a Man with many Countenances; and he hath a Book in his right hand. His Office is to teach all Arts and Sciences unto any; and to declare the Secret Counsel of any one."

14-Dec-2009 03:58:25 - Last edited on 14-Dec-2009 04:45:09 by Dantalian

Dantalian

Dantalian

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CHAPTER 6 -- MEPHOS' SEAL

In the depths of the wilderness, a flash of light appeared, and deposited a single youth with silver white hair, one blue eye and one red eye.

"The wilderness?" he gasped, "My portal didn't lead here..." He paused a moment and shook his head. "It's too deep," he said, "I can't teleport here."

"Which is exactly what I wanted."

The boy gasped as he heard the new voice; he recognized it instantly. Turning to the side, he confirmed his fears: what appeared to be a lone man in a grey, worn cloak stood before him. Yet, unlike a man, his eyes glowed like hot coals.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" said the man, letting his cloak fall and revealing his skeletal features, "What should I call you though? You went by Coren when with that elf, Rhyn Brona before that, and under me, you were called Aquaregis. I will say, I am impressed with you, apprentice. Using ritual magic traps to try and stop our little group, and if not for the Ruby Witch, you would have succeeded. Yet, even with her there, you managed to escape unharmed. Had I not noticed your little teleportal and redirected it here, you would likely be sitting at your tower drinking tea and plotting your next move. Too bad, huh? Instead you will be slain by my hand."

"Sliske," replied the boy, "Somehow, I knew this day would come... I knew that eventually we would fight, and I have been preparing..."

"Hah!" said the mahjarret, "You think to go up against your old teacher?!"

"I'm much improved," replied the mage, "You won't find me so easy to defeat."

"Truly," said Sliske, "You show remarkable aptitude for magic... but, it's still too early, you cannot match me. I have fought my own kind, the mahjarret, and emerged victorious, a mere child like you will be nothing to me." "He appears in the Form of a Man with many Countenances; and he hath a Book in his right hand. His Office is to teach all Arts and Sciences unto any; and to declare the Secret Counsel of any one."

22-Jan-2010 08:35:59

Dantalian

Dantalian

Posts: 3,434 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
"We shall see," replied Aquaregis, "Prepare yourself!"

Sliske cast aside his cloak, and the ground between the two mages erupted in an explosion, a result of two powerful auras clashing with one another.

When the explosion subsided, Sliske stood tall, magic crackling from his body. "I'll start this, apprentice!" he shouted, "Ancient Tower, defiance to the gods, arise in this land!"

With that, a lone spire broke through the ground and rose to the heavens. A spiral staircase wound up the tower, and magma cascaded down its sides. The tower itself stretched far above the murky clouds of the wilderness and was covered in millions of windows, inside each of which was a large fire illuminating a wicked looking ballista manned by spectral soldiers.

"Die!" shouted Sliske, "Tower, fire!"

All at once the millions of ballistae let loose their ammunition; it appeared as if the clouds of the wilderness had opened up and now rained deadly bolts made of dragonite

As the bolts closed in on Aquaregis, he shouted, "Gates of the Eternal Void, show forth your passage!"

Instantly, a massive gate upon which were carved figures of grotesque monsters, and mutilated bodies appeared before Aquaregis and opened, both revealing a blood red interior that seemed endless, and releasing terrified screams into the air. The gate seemed to devour the falling bolts, then soundly shut and disappeared.

"Sliske!" called Aquaregis, "You forgot! The fate of that tower you summoned; built to war against the divine, it was destroyed in righteous anger.

Now, Ancient Tower, show your fate; the punishment of sin and the splitting of the single language!"

As Aquaregis said this, the tower was struck by a massive bolt of lighting and the entire of its mass fell toward Sliske. "He appears in the Form of a Man with many Countenances; and he hath a Book in his right hand. His Office is to teach all Arts and Sciences unto any; and to declare the Secret Counsel of any one."

22-Jan-2010 08:38:30

Dantalian

Dantalian

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"As if that would work!" laughed Sliske, "Arise, flames of Hell! Consume that which means to strike me!"

As the mahjarret spoke these words, the falling tower burst into black flames, and was reduced to ash.

"Now, come forth, epitome of greed!" shouted Sliske, "The one who coveted gold enough to slay his own father!"

The ground gave way and a dwarf, covered in soot and blood emerged. The dwarf took one look at Aquaregis, then, with a huff, transformed himself into a black dragon with glowing eyes.

"So you summon Fafnir to this battle?!" exclaimed Aquaregis, "As I would expect of you, teacher, truly impressive, but you cannot truly hope to win with this, can you?

Arise great hero, slain in his sleep by the jealous ones!"

A shining knight appeared before Aquaregis, who proceeded to say, "And now, return to thy master, from the tree thou rest in!"

A massive sword made of wrought iron appeared before the knight; so large was it that it could cleave a knight and rider in two. With this sword in hand, the knight charged forth at the dragon, and with a single stroke, severed its head.

"To think you would be able to do something like this," gasped Sliske, "No matter, though...

Appear before me vengeful mother of the Grendel!"

A murky lake appeared in the wilderness, from which a monstrous creature with grey, warty skin, teeth the size of daggers, and razor sharp claws emerged.

"Now see true power, apprentice!" shouted Sliske, "This beast cannot be killed by any mortal weapons, not even Gram! You have lost!"

"Have I?" asked Aquaregis, "We shall see...

Fall from the heavens, hammer of thunder!" "He appears in the Form of a Man with many Countenances; and he hath a Book in his right hand. His Office is to teach all Arts and Sciences unto any; and to declare the Secret Counsel of any one."

22-Jan-2010 08:42:51

Dantalian

Dantalian

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With a flash of lighting, a single hammer made of shining gold appeared on the land, and the knight, casting aside his sword, took it up.

"And of course, for one wielding a god's weapon, a worthy steed shall be provided," said Aquaregis, "Come forth, eight legged horse of Asgard!"

A sound filled the wilderness; as if a windstorm had begun to tear across the land. As the sound grew louder, a streak appeared on the horizon and rushed toward the knight. Once it reached the knight it stopped, revealing itself to be a beautiful white horse sporting eight legs.

"It can't be!" exclaimed Sliske.

"And yet it is," said Aquaregis, "Let's see how your monster stands up to my hero, wielding a god's weapon, and riding a god's steed! Now go!"

The horse took off, it speed so great that it was barely visible, even as a streak. At this speed it rushed toward the monster Sliske had summoned, and within moments, the knight had brought the hammer down on the monster's head. The force of the godly hammer, combined with the speed of a godly horse was so great that the monster was instantly reduced to a pile of goo. Having dealt with the monster, the knight now turned to Sliske and charged.

"A godly weapon and steed," said Sliske, "The only thing that can best those, is an actual god, in that case: Master of the sea, lord of thunder and warriors, grace us mortals with thy presence!"

As Sliske shouted this, a man clothed in gold armor appeared, and drew a long single-sided sword. Both the sword and armor crackled with electricity, and it appeared as if lightning stood behind the man's helm. Lowering his blade, the man waited patiently for the knight to approach, then within a mere instant, slashed forward with his blade.

The godly hammer the knight had been holding flew past the god and Sliske, striking a mountain in the distance and forming a massive crater where it had hit. Meanwhile, the knight and horse both lay dead, severed in half. "He appears in the Form of a Man with many Countenances; and he hath a Book in his right hand. His Office is to teach all Arts and Sciences unto any; and to declare the Secret Counsel of any one."

22-Jan-2010 08:46:45

Dantalian

Dantalian

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"There, can you match a god?!" demanded Sliske.

"Perhaps," said Aquaregis, "Appear before me, ancient enemy of this god!"

With that, a massive snake appeared before Aquaregis... or perhaps it would be better to call that creature a hydra, for it bore eight heads, each large enough to swallow a castle whole. The hydra grinned wickedly at the god, as venom dripped from its fangs.

"The last time these two fought, that god won," commented Aquaregis, "But of course, my beast was tricked into getting drunk first, can your god win in a fair fight, Sliske?"

"Perhaps not," Sliske admitted, "But these will do! Arise, keepers of sin, the Seven Nails which support Pandaemonium!"

As he said this, seven large objects appeared before Sliske. One could call them nails, but they were unlike any nails seen in human construction; each was over a foot long, and bore a statuette of a demon at its top.

"Now go!" shouted Sliske.

The nails rocketed off, too fast to be seen. A little later a loud boom could be heard echoing throughout the Wilderness. Although the mages did not know it, that boom was the result of the sound barrier being broken by those seven nails, said to be the strongest things that could be summoned from Hell other than the Void King himself.

In mere instants, they made it to the hydra Aquaregis had summoned, and penetrated deep into its flesh. Unfortunately, for Sliske, the hydra had somehow seen the paths of the Seven Nails, and blocked them with its massive tail, in doing so, protecting its vitals. Furthermore, the Seven Nails, once they stab into anything cannot be removed from that thing until it is dead. In other words, the Seven Nails had been used up to cause only a minor injury. Within moments after their attack, the hydra tore apart the god Sliske had summoned and turned to the mahjarret.

Sliske gasped and stepped back, without his strongest summons there was no way he could match the hydra. "He appears in the Form of a Man with many Countenances; and he hath a Book in his right hand. His Office is to teach all Arts and Sciences unto any; and to declare the Secret Counsel of any one."

22-Jan-2010 08:52:25

Dantalian

Dantalian

Posts: 3,434 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
"It seems you lose," said Aquaregis, "Any last words, Sliske?"

Suddenly, unexpectedly, Sliske smiled. "You think I would lose so easily after living as long as I have?" he asked. "No, you have lost!"

"Have you lost your mind?" asked Aquaregis, "You have no defenses, and my hydra will destroy you at my command!"

"Maybe," said Sliske, "But how can you give a command while those things are protruding from your chest?"

"What things?" asked Aquaregis, but to his horror, when he looked down, he found that the tips of the Seven Nails were clearly visible, pointing the entire way through his chest. "H-how?" he gasped, falling to the ground. As Aquaregis hit the ground, his hydra vanished in a cloud of dust.

"How?" repeated Sliske, walking over to his dying apprentice, "You remember when I ordered the Seven Nails to attack, right? Well, their target was you all along. Once they were moving too fast to see, I created seven normal nails with identical forms to the Seven Nails of Pandaemonium, and stuck them into your hydra. You saw my replicas and believed them to be the real thing, thus your attention was diverted and the Seven Nails impaled your heart without you noticing. They also dulled the pain until I was certain I had won.

Ah, such defiant eyes, you would resist me to the end, wouldn't you? It really is too bad, with your natural ability in magic, you probably would have won if this fight had occurred a decade later, but now..."

Trailing off, Sliske put his heavy boot on Aquaregis' head.

"This is the proper way for an ingrate like you to die," said Sliske, "Under my foot, squashed like the insect you are!" As he finished, Sliske pushed down hard with his boot, and Aquaregis' head was smashed, sending a mix of blood, brain, and skull pieces onto the Wilderness ground. Seeing his apprentice thus destroyed, Sliske began to laugh maniacally. "In the end!" he shouted, "This is all you could amount to, huh?" "He appears in the Form of a Man with many Countenances; and he hath a Book in his right hand. His Office is to teach all Arts and Sciences unto any; and to declare the Secret Counsel of any one."

22-Jan-2010 08:55:53

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