RuneScape Forum Archive | Fall From Grace

Jul

2020

Serene End

Posts: 5,834 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

"Are you sure you want to risk it?" she callously returned. Audley's eyes then shifted away, looking down at the ground. Lucia stood up onto her feet, her eyes peeling off of him. She knew that he had submitted, not wanting to see what would become of him. The queen then turned to the knights pinning Audley down. "Pick him up and escort him out of the city."

"Yes, my lady," the knights respectfully acknowledged, pulling Audley to his feet. The two knights then just pushed him forward, forcefully he must walk. But his eyes continued to sharply fall upon Lucia, who stared back at him with such cold eyes. One of the Loyal Knights did as Gallows did to Shinon, throwing Audley over their shoulders and jumping the moat.

Lucia closed her eyes, feeling the strange air sit idly still in her chest. She could hear everything going on this city... From the women screaming, to mothers and fathers begged for the Loyal Knights to spare their families, to the children crying, to the crackling of flames consuming homes.

She was at the point of no return now, she didn't have the luxury of stopping. Her left hand reached up to her face, caressing her cheek. She could still feel it, the devilish smile that seemed elated by the violence. Gallows took a step towards her, appearing genuinely concerned. "My queen," he politely named. "Is everything well?"

She shook her head, her hand falling down to her side. "Yes, general, all is well," she responded. "Thank you for your concern." Gallows took her word for it, keeping himself in peace. Drakon charged for the gap, leaping over the moat. Lucia then let go her solace, turning her gaze upwards. The moon was as pale as death, its view fixed to them.

She seemed lost, her assurances to Gallows a façade. Balor picked up on it, stepping over to her. As he walked to her, he put his blade away in a sheath to his left hip. "Sister," Balor called. "Are you all right?"
The end

is only

the beginning...

15-Apr-2014 19:41:16

Jul

2020

Serene End

Posts: 5,834 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

She shook her head. "Yes, brother," she confirmed.

Over to the left side of the courtyard, Shinon stood. His arms were crossed, his black gaze upon the siblings. "Finally realizing just how much of a monster you are?" the angry archer asked suddenly in the midst of Balor's concern.

Gallows' eyes turned to Shinon, his eyes appeared stern and questionable. Balor immediately greeted the archer with fury, rancor suddenly enveloping him. His sapphire blue eyes mercilessly stabbed a dozen times into Shinon, slamming his foot down in a step. "You—!" Balor angrily shouted.

"—Balor," Lucia then named to calm her brother down, stretching her left arm in front of him.

He then turned to her, seeing her stewed in thought. He let go of his rage as soon as his eyes touched down upon her, but still he simmered. "Sister..." he mumbled.

"I know that look when I see it," Lucia went on, her pale blue eyes meeting Shinon's black irises. That look in his eyes now was reminiscent to the one he gave her during the battle, her mind remembering it. "You don't just hate me because I'm a god, do you?"

"Ha!" the archer then laughed. "That's a stupid question."

"Tell me, then," she continued. "Why?"

"Forgotten already, have you?" Shinon asked. "My sister was murdered, and her blood is on your hands."

Lucia froze, pausing for a moment. She then remembered his sister last being with them at Lumbridge, during the attack. But afterwards, she was left to be seen. That was where she must've died, and somehow Lucia does not recall. "I believe you're wrong," Lucia conveyed to the red-headed archer. "I don't recall killing her."

"Really?" Shinon then questioned, stepping forward. "You think I just... what, made it up? I saw you do it, back at Lumbridge. You stabbed her, then you just stood there and stared as I held her body in my arms."
The end

is only

the beginning...

15-Apr-2014 19:41:42 - Last edited on 17-Apr-2014 01:32:56 by Serene End

Jul

2020

Serene End

Posts: 5,834 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

She honestly tried as hard as she could to remember that day in perfect detail, the rain that hit her face, the gray sky over their heads. As she walked down the alley of memories, she found herself hitting a dead-end. Her memory blacked out right in the middle of it, and the next thing she recalled was waking up in her room at Governanti. Lucia shook her head. "I don't remember doing such a thing," she stated.

"Oh, I'm not surprised," the archer returned. "You're probably too busy counting your pocket change to think about a puny little human's life."

"That's not it at all," the queen asserted. "The last thing I remember of the attack upon Lumbridge was trying to get you to not kill Raphael."

"Tch," impatiently spoke Shinon, turning his face away from her. "Well, if you do or don't, it don't matter to me. All that matters now is seeing you dead... and I will make damn sure it happens."

"Then I will make sure that your little brother doesn't see the light of day," Balor's voice then popped out of nowhere, responding to Shinon's words. Balor then took a step forward, his eyes dreadful upon the archer like a foreboding warning. "You threaten her anymore and I will kill the boy myself."

Shinon's eyes glared over at Balor, his hand clenched tightly onto his sword. Shinon pointed his index finger at the king, his resentful expression spew a rain of venom upon Balor. "You swore that you wouldn't hurt him," the archer mentioned.

"I lied," the king frankly answered, laughing lightly. "Now, I advise to you that you check your priorities, human. What do you value most: your brother or your sister?"

Shinon seethed, angered by Balor's actions. The grip upon the handle of his sword tapered off, quickly getting himself away from the three. Gallows stepped over to Shinon, getting right up next to him. "Don't worry," he mumbled to Shinon's ear. "I will make sure that Rolf doesn't get harmed."
The end

is only

the beginning...

15-Apr-2014 19:42:04 - Last edited on 17-Apr-2014 01:32:28 by Serene End

Jul

2020

Serene End

Posts: 5,834 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

The red-headed archer then spun his head over to Gallows. "I don't get you," he stated. "We're just lowly humans... Why would you stick your neck out like that?"

"Human or not, he's still just a boy," returned Gallows. Shinon sighed, knowing that trusting his little brother's life to this... god, was the only thing he could do. He desired with everything in his being to be able to shield little Rolf from all this evil, but such a simple thing was too far out of his grasp. He anxiously handed his brother's safety to Gallows, only hoping he somehow manages to hold off the king.

Gallows lifted Shinon up over his shoulders, dashing for the moat. His body sprung into the air, flying above the spike death trap below. He landed perfectly safe on the other side, leaving the king and queen to themselves. Lucia's left hand reached up, tightly clenching onto the hole in her chest. Her hand plugged up the hole, a pain she couldn't get used to.

She took a step forward, basking in the light of the dark half of the day. She had made her decision, she had become the primal enemy of those she once thought of as family. She heard the world fall into the lap of chaos all around her, the smoke bellowing into the sky. All she did was stare, stare and watch as the world divided.

This was it, the epitaph upon her old persona's tombstone. She couldn't turn back the hands of time, she couldn't dig and somehow bring back what cannot be. Her past was dead, lost and buried behind her. Her brother took notice her getting lost, but knew that there was nothing he could do. This was her fight, and hers alone.
The end

is only

the beginning...

15-Apr-2014 19:42:47

Jul

2020

Serene End

Posts: 5,834 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

There was no looking back, walking into the jaws of an endless abyss. She was at the beginning of a new path, her goal on the horizon. The path before her was the path of carnage, of blood. Dauntless, she walked onward, stepping forward to an uncertain end.

The End of Chapter 18,
Next Chapter:
Chapter 19: The Third

Thank you for reading, I appreciate it. ^_^

That... was a lot longer than I expected... O_o

~Serene End
The end

is only

the beginning...

15-Apr-2014 19:43:25

Jun

2008

Seph

Posts: 2,257 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Serene End said :
"Praise the sun!" the guard exclaimed..
The sun is a wondrous body. Like a magnificent father! If only I could be so.. grossly incandescent .

- Seph,
the World Guardian
"How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real?" -Jaden Smith

18-Apr-2014 03:36:52

Azigarath

Posts: 9,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Well, only took me four sittings to get through the chapter.

Considering the amount of description on that dress of hers, I think you like dresses.

*the onyx-headed princess”
I really liked those examples. It stands out, so simply, yet flawless.

“I hereby declare Lucia Gaiane Barn as Queen of the Imperial Kingdom of Governanti!" he solemnly pronounced, placing the crown gently on top of her head.”
...Uh, after I read that, the next thing that popped in my head was her getting slapped upside the head so hard the crown falls off and her hairs poofs. I felt guilty for chuckling to myself.

“The vivid rods of color were like spotlights, hitting the princess and the king with a warm feeling, but also with a reminder of the eyes that watched them.”
Maybe you thought I’d remark about this. No, but as I read that sentence, a spider appeared between my face and the screen, dangling at the end of a single strand of thread. I put my hand over the web and tossed it away to safety. I then noticed I already read this post, and had to re-find where I was reading earlier.

Adamas repeats many times. So, what’s adamas, again?

It’d be better if Lucia became a dictator, not a subject. Bleh! I hope she either becomes so or gets rid of her pesky bro.

“starting from when Lord Asmodeus supposedly had an affair and had a son by another woman.”
lol, when I had Asmodeus as my own character in one of my stories, he did that same thing, too.

“One of the archers, a man with long brown hair and a goatee, gripped his teeth in frustration. "Bah," he said. "To think I'd get stuck with the night shift again..."”

An archer at night? How would he even see anything if the night is black?
Oh, I guess they could see glowing eyes.

“This sent blood barreling down his neck, his hand hold fast upon his throat.”
Well, there’d be very little blood due to the air flow.

28-Apr-2014 02:23:39 - Last edited on 28-Apr-2014 02:36:59 by Azigarath

Azigarath

Posts: 9,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

The knights assault the city.
“What kind of creature you must be in order to survive something like that, the image was horrific.”
Well, I don’t want to sound like an ass, but I think, when I criticized you earlier about combat realism, that I may have induced some kind of quick mortality.

Here’s a brief account from General Orfeur Cavenagh, 1879:
“A British officer, armed with a long regulation spit (a sabre), ran his sword through a Goorkha (Ghurka). Notwithstanding his agony, the wounded man literally forced his way up to the weapon’s hilt, until he could close with his adversary, cutting him down with his kookri (a kukri) and falling dead beside him.”

And, one by Lieutenant A. M. Lang, Bengal Engineers
“Captain Best (of the 1st Punjab Cavalry) ran a sowar through, who writhed up the blade and slashed Best’s neck nearly through!”

Major H. G. Hart
Captain Moorhead (of the 26th Foot) was engaged in single combat with a Tartar soldier (Ningpo, 1841); and his sword having stuck fast in the Tartar’s body, he was twice cut down.*

Captain Henry Havelock (13th Light Infantry), 1840
Captain Kershaw, of the 13th, happened in the melee to approach (a brigadier wrestling with an Afghan on the ground) . . . Kershaw passed his drawn sabre through the body of the Afghan, but still the desperado (the Afghan) continued to struggle with frantic violence. . . . Still retaining the weapon of his enemy in his left hand, he dealt him, with his right, a cut from his own sabre, which cleft his skull from the crown to the eyebrows. The Afghan shouted “Oh, God!” (probably not in English)

As shown, people continued fighting on even after getting a sword clean through the torso, and there are also accounts of men being shot by muskets who still managed to rush forth and bayonet up to several enemies.

28-Apr-2014 02:24:02

Azigarath

Posts: 9,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Like, I did not mean to suggest people had to die all the time quickly when I criticized in the past or anything, I guess I should have said that long ago. Just a heads up in case you wanted characters to endure extreme punishment, and that it was historic and works in fantasy, too.

I think armor should play a better role, it seems unable to protect knights from cuts and piercing spikes.

And by the end of the chapter, there’s a lot of carnage. I did not expect the queen’s change to that extent coming, it was a major change in atmosphere. This chapter had flawless, poetic descriptions throughout, so well done on that.

That’s all for now, then.

28-Apr-2014 02:24:10

Jul

2020

Serene End

Posts: 5,834 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

As I've said, the chapter turned out a lot longer than anticipated. Anyway...

"Considering the amount of description on that dress of hers, I think you like dresses."

No, not really... I dislike 'em. I dislike wearing 'em, especially. I found my description of her attire to be relatively short, being that I could have made it longer. Oh well...

"Adamas repeats many times. So, what’s adamas, again?"

It was introduced in Chapter 4, when Telvern said: ""It's the crystal-like material," Telvern informed Raphael. "It is apparently a sacred material that only the gods know how to make.""

Adamas is essentially a very strong and durable material that has the appearance of crystal, it's used for the king's armour, his sword, the queen's armour (but for obvious reasons, Lucia finds no use in wearing armour,) and her blade. Not to mention that it's used throughout the majority of the Imperial Kingdom, encasing its city and its castles.

It's considered "sacred," so really only those of the royal bloodline would have access to it. I probably haven't emphasized enough on its overall role and appearance, so forgive me for that.

"Well, I don’t want to sound like an ass, but I think, when I criticized you earlier about combat realism, that I may have induced some kind of quick mortality."

No, you did not impart that. That was of my doing, since obviously I wrote it. My mind set is, many of these people fighting Balor, Lucia, etc. aren't exactly prepared for this. Not many of the soldiers actually have tasted real, intense combat. And being that it's only been a few months since their freedom, I seriously doubt that that's enough time. You yourself said that of older days, knights are trained from birth, correct? With years and years of experience under their belt, compared to a few with years and the majority with but months, I somehow doubt that they'd last.
The end

is only

the beginning...

28-Apr-2014 18:09:57

Forums

Fall From Grace