RuneScape Forum Archive

Iagonito

Posts: 1,718 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Awesome story Kitty, really well written

But there is something of this tale that caught my attention, it feels as something similar like this happened to you before... maybe I am wrong? How knows

Iagonito, spanier4ever

16-Feb-2011 18:17:41

[#62GMK9U80]

Posts: 888 Gold Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Great story, only bad part is I want to see more

Please make it longer! For the sake of sheer story-writing goodness!

However, the fact that you have used so little words makes it ever more interesting.

Your good friend,

~Waricck Dragonbane, Lord of the North

16-Feb-2011 19:01:53 - Last edited on 16-Feb-2011 19:02:18 by [#62GMK9U80]

Sep

2009

Saul

Posts: 4,720 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Two thumbs up.

Nice story, Kitty :v

20-Feb-2011 20:25:44 - Last edited on 20-Feb-2011 20:30:14 by Saul

Murade

Posts: 2,425 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

That blew my mind to the Himalayas. Awesome short story, Kitty! It was a tad hard imagining things at the beginning, but after I read to the end the images started flowing into my mind like rapids.

25-Feb-2011 16:38:50

Piggy Nyan

Posts: 371 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

and then Zamorak was all like
"Did you see that guys? I totally killed that guy!"
"Just wait till Azz hears about this, I'll laugh in his face."

06-Mar-2011 11:22:54

[#KTGDNKTPA]

Posts: 839 Gold Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Well Kittyphantom, due to unforeseen circumstances (see thread) I've only managed to review the piece now.
What can I say: When I opened this thread I expected to be hit by a wall of text. Instead, it was short, unexpectedly short. I don't think I can really go deeply into mechanics because we've seen to little of the actual, broader story.

These were words of sheer emotion, flecks of compassion obscuring the bigger picture. I liked it. The only thing that could spring to my mind in terms of critique is that I found you overused the 'She said/He said' too much. It could bring a bit more diversity into your story. For instance, instead of abusing 'say' you could go for whispers, shouts, exclamations, grumbles and so forth. Sometimes, it is not even needed to add anything like that if it's obvious who is doing the talking.

Apart from that, it was a touching little piece, and looking at the comments I think it did its job pretty well. I cannot really relate to the 'plot', as far as we can call it such, because I've never experienced the God Wars but my lack of knowledge doesn't diminish your writing's quality I think. (Or maybe it did and it truly was a masterpiece that I failed to appreciate enough

)

That's really as much as I can review of such a short story. With the emphasis on short.

~ Mippow

06-Mar-2011 19:39:49 - Last edited on 06-Mar-2011 19:40:14 by [#KTGDNKTPA]