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The 3 Noobs to end all Noobs

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widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
~*/Chapter 9 : The 2006 Christmas Event\*~

Seaman Lorris: Hello, a trip to Karamja costs 30gp
Noob3: Why in the world would we want to go there?
Lorris: Well I’ve heard there’s a RuneScape Christmas Event There
Noob1: Well that sounds logical enough
Noob2: He he... Seaman...
(Noob1 slaps Noob2)
Noob1: That’s a horrible joke... Don’t ever use it again!

**NOOBS TRAVEL TO KARAMJA**

Noob1: Hey do you guys notice the frequent occurring of holiday stile bells in the background?
Noob2: (Talking to Noob3) What did he say?
Noob3: (Talking to Noob2) Beats me
(Noob3 kicks Noob2)
Noob1: Hey who’s this guy over here?
Shanty Claws: ‘Raise the mainsail and hoist the anchor...’
Noob1: What an odd name? Does it remind you of something?
Noob3: Nope, nothing at all
Noob2: What are you doing here?
Shanty: Eh! Oh the names ‘Shanty’; ‘Shanty Claws’ to a landlubber like ye. And oi’ve some terrible news for ye deck-swabbin’ ears
Noob1: Hey we just met, don’t start with bad news and talk about quests and such
Noob2: But that’* what every other person we’ve talked to has done...
Noob1: Well I guess. What do want us to do for you then Shanty Claws?
Shanty: Me wasn’t to... uh, well I suppose ye could help
Noob3: Tell us the story
(Shanty goes on about the gublinch ‘childernapping the childerkins’)
Noob1: Childernapped the childerkins? That sounds terrible!
Noob2: Yeah if he said ‘kidnapped the children’ it would be much more sensible
Shanty: Thar ain’t the point...
Noob1: Go on then
Shanty: You’s be needin’ to ice them gublinch. Freeze ‘em good and proper, like. Then you’s gonna have to get ‘em into these ‘ere cages so’s we can ship ‘em off somewhere else!
Noob3: What’s in it for us?
Shanty: How’s ye fancy a festive hat with a fancy nose décor?
Noob2: Sounds Fancy!
Noob3: Lets go guys!
*Que Noobs Theme Music*

04-Jan-2007 10:38:02 - Last edited on 13-Jan-2007 11:52:09 by widjo

widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
**NOOBS GO TO THE KARAMJA VOLCANO**

Noob3: What’s with the snow?
Noob2: Hey lets make a ton of snowballs for no apparent reason and knowing they’ll melt after we leave the island!
Noob1: Sounds like a plan!
(Noobs make a ton of snowballs)
Noob1: Man… How did we make a ton of snowballs?
Noob2: We can’t carry them all...
Noob3: If we sold them for 3gp each! We’d be billionaires!
Noob1: Lets just take 100 each and go down this oddly positioned cave

**NOOBS GO INTO THE GUBLINCH’S CAVE**

Noob3: OMG WHO ARE THESE HORRIBLE CREATURES!?!
Noob1: Gublinchs
(Noob3 kicks a gublinch)
Noob3: It didn’t affect him!
(Noob2 pelts snowballs at the gublinch)
(The gublinch shatters into... uh... blocks of ice?)
Noob1: Wow! That was a terrible narration!
Noob3: Hey lets kill some more gublinch and take their remains
(Noobs kill a bunch of gublinchs and take their remains)

04-Jan-2007 10:38:43

widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
**NOOBS GO BACK TO SHANTY CLAWS**

Shanty: ‘Swab the deck and raise the top mast...’
Noob2: Stop those stupid ramblings!
Noob1: What do we do with these remains?
Shanty: Get them gublinch shards into them thar cages!
(Noobs put the remains into the cages)
Shanty: ‘...to exotic places with fair winds blowing in our faces...’ Aarghhh! Ye’s done a grand job, lads, and stuffed them evil gublinch in them cages. Now, this salty sea-wolf can offer ye something to make yer eyes light up like ye’s seen a treasure chest, brimful o’ the bootiest booty ye ever did see.
(Shanty Claws gives Noobs Reindeer Hats)
Noob2: Well this isn’t really that great
Noob3: Those 300 coins we got in Chapter 7 where better…
Noob1: So, tell us what will happen the gublinch now?
Byrodaman: Oh No I’m not wasting my time copying any more text!
(Some guy called Santa834 wearing a santa hat and zammy robes appears)
Santa834: Hohoho! Merry Christmas
Random Noob: OMG!!! ITS SANTA!!!
Santa834: Heres a gift
Random Noob: ZOMG!!! ZOM**!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!
(Random Noob Explodes)
Noob3: Eep...
Santa834: Hey Noobs! Here are some gifts!
(Santa834 gives Noob1 10000gp)
(Santa834 gives Noob2 Full Iron Armour)
(Santa834 gives Noob3 Spiked Boots)
Noob3: All right!!
Noob1: Thank you Santa impostor
Santa834: Uh... Merry Christmas!
Noob2: Ow... If only the real Santa was here
Byrodaman: Oh cheer up Noobs; here I have a present for you
(Byrodaman makes the Noobs RuneScape Members)
Noobs: Wow!! Awsome!!
Random Guy: HEY! YOU CANT BUY THEM MEMBERSHIP! THAT’S ILLEGAL!!!
(Byrodaman mutes the random guy)

Noob1: We hope that your holidays,
Noob2: And full of holiday cheer.
Noob3: We wish you a Merry Christmas,
Byrodaman: And a happy new year!

*******************************
***MERRY CHRISTMAS***
*******************************

PS: WE WANT SANTA JAGEX!! BRING HIM BACK!!

04-Jan-2007 10:39:52 - Last edited on 04-Jan-2007 10:40:48 by widjo

Zarfay

Zarfay

Posts: 1,084 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
lol aws story by i new thed be membs soon i could just feel it (and you told me lol) there wasnt enough kicking in this though lol (btw the seaman joke was mine!)

EDIT: first post of the chapter =P

04-Jan-2007 10:54:17 - Last edited on 04-Jan-2007 10:54:55 by Zarfay

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