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The 3 Noobs to end all Noobs

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widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Hi everybody and welcome to my Noob story

This is a remake of a Noob story I have previosly made, but it was eaten by the 51st Page Monster... Luckily I saved the first 5 chapters of it... so now I'm here to post it.

Charactors

Noob1: He's The Smartest.
Noob2: He's The Dumbest.
Noob3: He's The Strangest.

I hope you like it as much as I do! ^_^

14-Nov-2006 07:04:18 - Last edited on 09-Aug-2007 04:55:23 by widjo

widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
~*/Table of Contents\*~
Chapter 1 - Page 1
Chapter 2 - Page 1
Chapter 3 - Page 2
Chapter 4 - Page 2
Chapter 5 - Page 3
Chapter 6 - Page 3
Chapter 7 - Page 6
Chapter 8 - Page 8
Chapter 9 - Page 16
Chapter 10 - Page 19
Chapter 11 - Page 23
Chapter 12 - Page 48
Chapter 13 - Page 72
Chapter 14 - Page 73

14-Nov-2006 07:04:30 - Last edited on 08-Sep-2007 08:41:13 by widjo

widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
~*/Chapter 1 : Tutorial Island\*~

**NOOBS START IN TUTORIAL ISLAND**

Noob1: Hi
Noob2: Hi
Noob3: Hi
Noob2: Hi
Guide: Welcome to the world of Runescape
Noob3: OMG another world!!!
Guide: Please go through the door to continue
Noob3: Help!!! Alien!!!
(Noob3 hides behind Noob1)
Noob1: He’s just an NPC
Noob3: Help!!! NPC!!!
(Noob3 continues to hide behind Noob1)
Guide: Just go through, I have people to guide
Noob3: Don’t listen to him!
(Noob3 kicks Guide)
Guide: Ouch, I’ll use my plasma ray-gun!
(Noob3 screams and runs out the door, walks back in, and screams and runs out the door again)
(Noob1 & 2 walk out door)

**NOOBS GO TO SURVIVAL GUIDE**

Guide: I’ll teach you how to survive in Runescape
Noob2: How do we breathe?
Guide: Uh, you automatically breathe
Noob2: Uh, OH!
Guide: Cut down a tree with this axe and light the logs with this tinderbox
Noob3: What if we dont want to?
Guide: Well you wont get very far then
Noob3: You can’t tell US what to do, who’s with me!
(Noob1 & 2 finish and leave for the next area)
Noob3: Hey wait for me!

**NOOBS GO TO THE COOKING GUIDE**

Guide: I’ll teach you how to cook
Noobs: ...
Guide: HA! You call that... Huh? Why didn’t you say...?
Noob3: TERRORIST!!!
Noob1: Kill Him!
Guide: Here take this and make some bread!
(Noob2 eats flour)
Noob2: Choke... can’t... breathe...
Noob1: You can’t not breathe in Runescape, you can’t breathe!
Noob2: Duh thats what I meant
(Noob2 drinks water)
Noob2: Choke... can’t... breathe...
Noob1: Let’s hope you don’t poop out Bread
(Noob2 poops out bread)
Noob3: OMG I gotta try that!
Guide: Now I’ve seen everything, OK get out now!

14-Nov-2006 07:04:57 - Last edited on 14-Nov-2006 23:42:42 by widjo

widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
**NOOBS GO TO QUEST GUIDE**

Noob2: Let’s... never... run... again...
Noob1: Noob!
Noob2: Nerd!
Noob3: Alien!
Guide: I’m here to tell you about quests, Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah BLAH!
Noob2: Help! It’s Horrible!
Noob1: Make it Stop!
(Noob3 kicks Guide)
Guide: Ouch!
Noob2: Stop Talking Jellyfish!
Noob1: Noob2, its Gibberish
Guide: Just know that you can ask the Lumbridge Guide to help you with quests
Noob2: (hands over ears) LALALALA!!!! LALALA!!!!
Guide: Just go down the stupid hole!
Noob3: I’m not stupid

**NOOBS GO TO MINING GUIDE**

Guide: Hey there Noobs! What are your names?
Noob1: Noob1
Noob2: Noob2
Noob3: Alien!
Guide: Go and prospect those rocks
Noob1: This one contains Copper
Noob3: This one contains Tin
Noob2: This one contains Fire
Noob1: Uh that’s a furnace!
Noob2: Shut up Hypocrite!
Guide: Now take this pick and mine for the ores
Noob2: Sounds hard...
Guide: It’s actually pretty easy
Noob3: Am I Pretty?
Guide: Uh, No
Noob3: Waaaaaaaaaaa!!!
Guide: Now put the ores in the furnace to make a bronze bar
Noob1: We’re not experienced enough to do that!
(Noob1 makes bronze bar)
Noob1: That was easy!
Noob3: Yay! Mars Bar!
(Noob3 eats Bronze Bar)
(Noob3 poops out Tin and Copper Ore)
Guide: Uh, O...K... Now use this hammer to make a bronze dagger
Noob2: I’m allergic to hammers.
Noob1: Ha, my sharp dagger will slice you into many pieces!
Noob3: Help! (Hides in furnace)
Noob1: Uh, Noob3...
Noob3: What? What I do?
Noob1: Uh, Nothing, Nothing

14-Nov-2006 07:05:22

widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
**NOOBS GO TO COMBAT GUIDE**

Guide: Take these swords and shields and kill the rats
Noob2: (sword and shield equipped) Ha I’m as strong as Hercules!
(Noobs enter cage)
Noob1: Die Evil Rat
(Noob1 kills rat)
Noob3: BLOOD!! Hehehauhhe heuheu, HA!
(Noob3 drops his weapon, eats a rat dropping, exits the cage, runs around tutorial island in a drunken rage, then enters the cage and pretends nothing happened)
(Noobs leave cage)
Guide: Now use these bows and arrows to kill a rat
Noob2: Again
Noob3: Blood?
Noob1: Uh let’s just go now

**NOOBS GO TO MAGIC GUIDE**

Guide: I will teach you how to use magic
Noob3: Are you a wizard?
Guide: Yes I am
Noob3: Really?
Guide: Yes!
Noob3: How do you know?
Guide: (ignoring Noob3) Magic can be used as a form of combat...
(Noob3 kicks guide)
Guide: Ouch! Just take these runes and cast wind strike on the chickens!
Noob2: I like chicken
Guide: Great, just kill them!
Noob2: Poor innocent chickens?
Guide: Yer...
(Noob2 casts wind strike on guide)
Noob3: Evil!
(Noob3 kicks Guide)
Guide: I can’t stand this!!!
(Guide teleports Noobs to Lumbridge Castle)

*****************************************
***TUTORIAL ISLAND FINISHED***
*****************************************

14-Nov-2006 07:05:44 - Last edited on 16-Jan-2007 06:55:21 by widjo

widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
~*/Chapter 2 : The Cooks Assistant Quest\*~

*Note* This story was made before the quest ‘Recipe for Disaster’ came out*

Noob2: Help where am I?
Some Guy: Lumbridge
Noob3: I’m not a Bridge
(Noob3 kicks Some Guy)
Some Guy: Ouch, Hey!
Noob1: Stop kicking everyone!
(Noob3 kicks Everyone)
Everyone: Hey that hurt!
Noob1: Sorry about him!
Everyone: Hey Noobs have some money
(Everyone gives Noob1 200gp)
Noob1: Thanks Everyone!
(Everyone teleports away)
Noob2: Let’s do a quest!
Noob3: What did the quest guide say?
Noob1: I think he said Blah Blah Blah Blah!
Noob2: Well let’s go then!
(Noobs Go to the Lumbridge Guide)
Guide: Hello little people
Noob1: What quest should we do?
Guide: I hear the Lumbridge Cook needs help!
Noob3: I’m not a bridge!!
(Noob3 kicks Guide)

**NOOBS GO TO COOK**

Cook: It’s horrible!
Noob1: What’s horrible?
Noob2: (pointing to Noob3) is he horrible?
Cook: I need the ingredients to make a cake for the Duke for some party!
Noob3: I like parties!
Cook: That’s great...
Noob1: What do we need?
Cook: A pot of flour, a bucket of milk, and an egg.
Noob2: Sounds hard.
Cook: Hurry up, please!
(Noobs exit castle)
Noob2: Well what now?
Noob1: Let’s Split Up! I’ll get the flour!
Noob2: I’ll get the milk
Noob3: I’ll get the Pot and Bucket
Noob1: We’ve already got them!
Noob3: Oh, I’ll get the egg then

**NOOB1 GETS THE FLOUR**

Noob1: Let’s see, flour is made of grain, grain goes through the windmill, makes flour, easy!
(Noob1 asks Some Guy for directions)
Some Guy: Go away you stupid Noob!

5 HOURS LATER

Noob1: Can you help me?
Some Guy62: Sure take this stupid map
(Some Guy62 gives Noob1 a Newcomer Map)
Noob1: Thanks, you’re the nicest person I’ve met all day!
Some Guy62: <Censor> Off
(Some Guy62 Walks away)
Noob1: I’m in Port Sarim?
(Noob1 walks into food shop)
Noob1: Hey do you know where I can get some flour?
Wydin: 10g
Noob1: WHAT!?! Meh, Ok
(Noob1: Buys Pot of Flour)
Noob1: Back to Lumbri

14-Nov-2006 22:17:19 - Last edited on 26-Jan-2007 07:26:58 by widjo

widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
**NOOB2 GETS THE MILK**

Noob2: Excuse me Mr Man, where can I get some milk?
Mr Man: Use a bucket on a dairy ***
Noob2: Where’s the dairy cow?
Mr Man: Follow Me
(Mr Man takes Noob2 to wilderness and kills him)
Noob2: Waaaaaaaaa!! I died!
(Noob2 finds bucket on ground)
Noob2: Yay!

4 HOURS LATER

Noob2: Yay I found the dairy cow!
(Noob2 goes to milk the cow)
Dairy Cow: Moo moo MOO! *Stop ********
Cow: Moo moo MOO MOO moo ... Moo! *Stay away from my wife*
(Noob2 Finishes milking the Dairy Cow, the other cow then rams right into Noob2 leaving him with 1 health)
Noob2: Eh What!
Cow: Moo MOO moo ... MOO! *Cows, Attack!*
Noob2: (Shivering) Eh meh lemo kit* beler meaah!
(10 Cows charge toward Noob2)
Noob2: ARGGGH!!!!!
(Noob2 Runs and runs and runs until he reaches Lumbridge Castle, the cows kill him, he appears right where he died, gets killed again, and continues until 1 hour later when they get tired and go home)
Noob2: Hey I spilt my milk, Waaaaaaaaa!!!!!
Some Guy: Stop crying over spilt milk!
(Some Guy gives Noob2 a bucket of milk)
Noob2: Yay!

**NOOB3 GETS THE EGG**

Noob3: Hello Mr Man I need an egg
Mr Man: Yer go to the chicken yard west of the cow yard
Noob3: Where’s the cow yard?
Mr Man: East of the chicken yard
Noob3: Cool Thanks
Mr Man: No problem

1 HOUR LATER

Noob3: Yay I found the chicken yard, now I must kill chickens until they drop an egg
(Noob3 kills chickens (by kicking them) for 4 Hours without them dropping any eggs, and then realizing he’s standing next to one. He then kicks the egg, the egg smashes, so he picks up the other egg on the ground)
Noob3: Yay! Now back to Lumbridge!
Dude: Lumbridge?
Noob3: I’m Not A BRIDGE!
(Noob3 kicks Dude)

14-Nov-2006 22:18:38

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