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The 3 Noobs to end all Noobs

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widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
~*/Chapter 13 : Gertrude’s Cat Quest\*~
Noob3: I WANT TACOS!!!
Shopkeeper: I told you, there aren’* any tacos in RuneScape...
Noob3: GIVE ME TACOS NOW!!!
Shopkeeper: Please don’t hurt me...
Noob3: GRAAGGHHH!!
Shopkeeper: Ah! Here! Heres a taco!
(Shopkeeper gives Noob3 a loaf of bread)
Noob3: Yay!!
(Noob3 runs off in delight)
Noob2: Did you get the taco?
Noob3: Yeah!
Noob1: That’s not a taco, that’s a loaf of bread...
Noob3: What’s a taco?
Noob1: Ok this is stupid, let’s just do a quest and give this chapter a plot
Noob2: Let’s slay another foul beast
Noob3: Evlarg wasn’t a foul beast!
Noob1: He wasn’t?
Noob3: He just wanted to be loved...
(Noob2 starts crying)
Gertrude: Oh! Where could she be?
Noob1: What’* that?
Noob2: That cry came from inside that house?
Noob3: Let’s go save that damsel in distress
Noob2: Hehe, damsel...
**NOOBS GO TO GERTRUDE**
Noob2: Hi
Gertrude: Hello, could you three possibly help me?
Noob1: With what?
Gertrude: Well my cat Fluffs has gone missing
Noob3: Don’t worry mam, we’ve slayed dragons before, I’m sure we can slay your cat.
Gertrude: What? No don’t kill her! I want you to find her and bring her back to me!
Noob3: Aww, that’s no fun
Noob1: So do you have any idea where she might be?
Gertrude: No, but my two sons may know... They are at the Varrock fountain
Noob2: Ok then let’s go
Noob3: Are you sure you don’* want us to slay it
Gertrude: NO! uh Yes... Don’t slay it!! Just find it!!

15-Jul-2007 02:14:56

widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
**NOOBS GO TO WILOUGH AND SHILOP**
Noob2: Wilough and Shilop? What in the world are they?
Wilough: That’s us
Shilop: Whadda ya want?
Noob1: Have you seen Gertrude’s Cat anywhere?
Shilop: Yah is like in our super secret hiding spot
Wilough: Yah an’ we ain’t gonna tell you were it is!
(Noob3 picks up Wilough and threatens him)
Noob3: If you don’t tell me I’m gonna give you such a beating
(Shilop kicks Noob3, It deals a 10 on him and Noob3 dies)
Noob2: Can you pretty please tell us?
Wilough: We’re not gonna tell you even for a million gold coins!
Noob1: I’ll give you 100gp?
Shilop: Deal!
(Noob1 gives Shilop 100gp)
Noob2: So where is this hiding spot?
Wilough: The Lumberyard
Shilop: Northeast of Varrock
(Noob3 comes back and blasts Wilough and Shilop with fire blasts, killing them both)
Noob3: That’ll teach em for not tell us their secret hiding spot!
Noob1: But they just told us!
Noob3: Oh, um... hehe...
Noob2: Let’s just go and slay Fluffs
Noob1: Don’t you mean rescue?
Noob2: Huh? Oh yeah sure...

15-Jul-2007 02:15:18

widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
**NOOBS GO TO THE LUMBERYARD**
Noob1: Here kitty kitty kitty!
Noob3: We won’t hurt you!
Noob2: (Armed with bronze sword) Yeah, that’s right we won’t
???: Meow...
Noob1: Ha! Its over there!
???: Meow...
Noob3: No there it is!
???: Meow...
Noob2: It’s coming from up that ladder!
(Noobs go up the ladder)
Noob1: Hey it’s Fluffs!
Fluffs: Hiss...
Noob3: Hehe, nice kitty...
Fluffs: Hiss...
Noob2: Don’t worry I’ll handle this!
(Noob2 approaches Fluffs, but before he can strike, Fluffs swipes him across the face)
(Noob2 leans back in pain)
Noob1: Maybe it’s thirsty, let’s get it some milk! And something to eat to calm it down.
Noob3: That wasn’t part of the deal, were catching it and that’* that
(Noob3 approaches Fluffs, but before he can grab her, Fluffs swipes him across the face)
(Noob3 leans back in pain)
(Fluffs gets extremely angry and approaches Noob1)
Fluffs: Grrrr....
Noob1: Hehe... now I’m sure we can work this out...
(Fluffs swipes Noob1 across the face)
(Noob1 is thrown back towards Noob2 and 3)
Noob2: Please, don’t hurt us...
(Fluffs pulls out a chainsaw)
Fluffs: Mahahahaha!

15-Jul-2007 02:15:52

widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
*Meanwhile - At the grand tree*
Random Guy: Hey gnome glider, take me to Varrock please
Gnome: You got it!
(The gnome glider flies above Varrock)
Gnome: Uh oh, something’s malfunctioning!
Random Guy: Help! We’re gonna crash!
(The gnome glider crashes, and from the blast, a Bucket of Milk and a sardine wrapped in Doogle Leaves fly from the crash and land right in front of Fluffs)
Fluffs: Meow?
Noob2: Eh?
(Fluffs happily drinks the milk and eats the sardine. It then seems to plea to the Noobs)
Noob3: What now?
Noob1: I think it wants it’s kitten
Noob2: What! How do you know that?
Noob1: Isn’t it obvious?
(As a result of a blast by a second gnome glider, a kitten comes flying through the window and lands in front of Fluffs)
(Fluffs becomes very happy and runs off back to Gertrude)
Noob2: Where’d he go now?
Noob1: Back to Gertrude
Noob3: And how do you know that
Noob1: Oh my god! Don’t you guys know anything?
**NOOBS RETURN TO GERTRUDE**
Gertrude: Thank you so much for finding Fluffs
Noob3: What’s our reward? Cash? Weaponry? Experience?
Noob2: An anti-feline shield?
Noob1: A kitten!
Gertrude: Yes a kitten! For all your hard work!
(Gertrude gives the Noobs a kitten)
Noob1: Aww isn’t it cute?
Noob2: What should we name it?
Noob3: Let’s call it Noobykins
Noob1: Ok
Noob2: Noobykins it is!
Noobykins: ME0wZ!
******************************
***QUEST COMPLETE***
******************************
L0L itZ dA UBE4 Katz PHr33 st4f pL0x!

15-Jul-2007 02:16:59

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