forums.rs

Forums

|| The Academy ||

Quick find code: 49-50-265-64193226

of 33
Azigarath

Azigarath

Posts: 9,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
As I have said, I got this done. Surprisingly, it took me, like, an hour to do. I hope it was done correctly and contributes to the forum in some way. It’s a rough draft, though.

– Character Name / Nicknames / Aliases: Magnus Magnusson
– Birth Date: 400? (Age 33)
– Place of Birth: Catherby
– Residence: Fight Arena
– Height: 6’3”
– Weight: 222 lbs.
– Clothing Styles: Dark brown cloth trousers and shirt.
– Skin Color: Pale.
– Hair Color: Dark brown.
– Hair Length: Medium, but thick and bushy.
– Eye Color: Black (due to aniridia).
– Handedness: Ambidextrous.
– Jewelry: None.
– Tattoos: None.
– General Appearance: Taller than most, Magnus has a rather long face, and his jawline makes his head look somewhat oval for the lower half. Accustomed to a rigid, violent life, this man is dirty, messy, smelly, and has a deformed eye due to repeat swelling of his right eyebrow from fighting, so it is half-closed and will be for a long time. He is developing cauliflower ears, his nose bridge is crooked, and his lips are cracked. Like his eyes, his cheekbones are somewhat pronounced from repeat swelling. The fingernails of this mutt are cracked and chewed, but clean, Magnus having a habit for using his canines to scrape dirt from beneath his fingernails, the skin suffering similarly. Overall he is strong and has a slim torso, is long-legged, has strong arms (particularly triceps) and legs, but has a soft belly. Like other Khazard troopers, he wears “black* Khazard armour, armour that was left unpolished and not grounded, consisting of a breastplate, backplate, gamboised cuisses, jackchains, barbote, morion, plackart, faulds, gussets, and spaulders. Beneath the armour, he wears an arming cap and an arming jacket. His weapon of choice is a two-handed godenak, but also carries a bar mace and misericorde as sidearms. He is also adequate in the use of crossbow, which fortunately does not require much skill. Experienced in fighting, but untrained.

18-Jan-2013 08:28:09 - Last edited on 18-Jan-2013 08:31:58 by Azigarath

Azigarath

Azigarath

Posts: 9,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
– Key Family / Relatives: Most of Magnus’ family are alive but dispersed. He has no children and is unable to find himself in a relationship with a woman, causing him to question himself.
– Relationship with Family: Although he cares about his family, especially his younger brother, he is prone to quick insults and arguments. Magnus has a love-hate relationship with his older brother and both parents.
– Key Friends: Very few would think of being friends with Magnus, and these few have been long gone, and he is unsure of their fate; he speculates that they fell in battle, were executed, or deserted.
– Relationship with Friends: Despite being untrustworthy and suspicious, he will defend his friends as long as they are able to fend for themselves.
– Key Enemies: Whoever Khazard’s coalition must fight, though Magnus has considered rebelling.
– Relationship with Enemies: Having little thought of personal safety of himself and others, he does not consider much for anyone not part of Khazard’s forces.
– Educational History: Growing up in a humble fishing village with split parents and a broken family, Magnus had little educational upbringing, and instead often got into conflict with local bullies, guards, thugs and thieves, and earned a controversial reputation.
– Work History: Ever since a young man, Magnus served as a bouncer and then a guard due to his height, and when he reached his mid-twenties, stumbled upon Khazard troopers running to the village to escape bandits. The Khazard troopers seemed to have deserted and ended up in another problem, so Magnus quickly assembled Catherby’s militia to help the Khazard troopers and fight-off the bandits. Eager to leave his home to escape memories, he followed the troopers to Khazard’s encampment, whilst the militia returned home.
– Skills: Magnus’ height and strength makes for his lack of professionalism; he is untalented, but brave.
– Phobias / Fears: Although almost fearless, Magnus suffers from thanatophobia.

18-Jan-2013 08:28:31

Azigarath

Azigarath

Posts: 9,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
– Bad Habits / Vices: He is a frequent nail-biter, lacks social skills, and suffers from insomnia.
– Quirks: Has a habit of being morbid and vulgar.
– Best Qualities: Strong and brave, like the knights of fairy-tales, but not quite a knight in shining armour.
– Worst Qualities: Shy and uncivilised.
– Key Childhood Experiences: When he was very young, not even ten years of age, he beat-up a bully much older than he was, whom never bullied him, yet Magnus hated him so much as to attack him, kicking and not punching, forcing him off his feet, dragging him towards himself, and continued kicking the bully until the bully’s mother threw Magnus off. Magnus watched the mother carry the bully away, mother and son tearful. Magnus did not know what to think of.
– Key Teenage Experiences: His first job was a bouncer, and during a very cold winter evening, a loser wanted to step into the bar, the cold having turned his face and ears red. Having developed a sixth sense upon who to let in and who to keep out, Magnus pushed the loser away. Angry, the loser slid a knife out and delivered death threats. Wanting to punch the bum, but aware that the extreme cold would simply cause his knuckles pain upon impact, instead, Magnus pressed his palm against the loser’s ear and lifted it, hearing it crack; the loser screeched and ran away whimpering.

18-Jan-2013 08:28:57

Azigarath

Azigarath

Posts: 9,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
– Key Adult Experiences: After he had joined Khazard’s coalition, there was a brief hostility between Khazard and Yanille. After provocation on both sides, a skirmish occurred. After the fighting, which lasted less than half an hour, both sides retreated and there was no clear winner. One of Magnus’ friends had his groin torn open, the wound deep and ending up to the belly. As he ran away with the comrades, his large intestines dropped and hung over his knees, and he tripped on them, falling down and having disembowelled himself; he rolled onto his back and wondered what to do, feeling his stomach become lighter and his strength sapping away. The soldiers of Yanille had a change of thought and began a pursuit, and Magnus’ friend, unable to do anything, asked to be killed rather than face the fate of becoming a prisoner of war and possible torture. As the other troopers ran away, Magnus drove his dagger into his friend’s forehead, and then stomped on the pommel to ensure he was dead. Unable to withdraw the dagger, Magnus retreated with the others. He wondered why and how he could kill a friend upon request without thinking.
– Relationship Background: His only real relationship are with other Khazard troopers. He is predictably a stolid, empty guy, though his emotion is subject to change after unpleasant situations.
– Favorites: Seeing another sunset, or another sunrise.
– Goals: Magnus wishes to support himself and his family via booty acquired during warfare, and wants to bring his family back together if he is able to.
– Morality / Ethics: Somewhat limited.
– Style of Speech: Generally vague, shy and passive, but can easily become angry with sudden outbursts that lead to further conflict as mentioned earlier.

18-Jan-2013 08:29:09

Zmaster07

Zmaster07

Posts: 416 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I think the reason this thread isn't popular because this isa hard demand to make every week. Characters are supposed to be relatable, not people who are braver than us on a regular basis. They are supposed to be relatable, or to have people be able to understand why they do their actions. Just my thoughts.

18-Jan-2013 16:12:25

Xereva

Xereva

Posts: 7,589 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
When I say larger than life, I don't mean braver than us on a regular basis. When I say they 'do what we cannot, say what we will not,' think about it this way: do you speak like a character in a novel? Do you act like one? Is every word or action composed with intent?

Make no mistake, I think it's very important for characters to be relatable. Without that, a reader has nothing to grab on to as they move through the story, and are left adrift in what can be (in fantasy and sci-fi) a world entirely alien to our own. But where I think we differ is that I don't believe readers have to understand why the character acts as he or she does. I certainly think that consistent characters are a virtue, especially when they 'break character' and do something entirely outside of what readers believe they are capable of. But to relate every action in a character's life back to their past is an amateur mistake, and something that can cripple a novel.

That's why I like the idea of 'people, not characters.' When you act in your everyday life, you don't generally reflect on everything that led you to make that choice. Even when you make big decisions, the emotions and immediate consequences are more significant in what you ultimately do than your background. That's not to say your background doesn't play into it, but it's far more subtle than 'I had this kind of a past, therefore I make this choice.' People are more subtle than most characters, more reserved, more complicated. So when I envision a character for my story, instead of putting them together from archetypes and clichés I draw from traits of people I know or have seen throughout my life.

As for this thread not being 'popular'—

To be honest, I didn't expect even one person to commit in the first week, let alone two. This is more than I hoped for. And you're right, it's a hard demand to make every week. That's the goddamn point. I'm not going to come in every week and tell everyone to write what they had for breakfast.

18-Jan-2013 20:12:06

Xereva

Xereva

Posts: 7,589 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Okay Azi, here's your comment list. Might take a few posts, so bear with me. I've laid it out in order by section, with comments underneath centered either on the section entire or specific points. I also included a 'Final Thoughts' section at the end.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clothing Styles

- Clothing says a lot about a person, and while such a simple answer is adequate, I would dedicate more words to fleshing out the kinds of clothes that he wears, not necessarily focusing on only one outfit.

Eye Color

- I was under the impression that aniridia was associated with quite serious vision defects. Is his condition inherited or due to injury?

Jewelry

- It's entirely possible that he wouldn't wear anything, but consider adding something small just to make things more interesting.

Tattoos

- He seems like the kind of person who might have a tattoo or three, though small. Even these details can do a lot to present an impression to a reader. Also: you inspired me to add a Scars / Injuries section to my standard template.

General Appearance

- You do a great job describing his physical appearance, but one of the things that I find really helps with my characters is to describe their bearing. Imagine yourself as a private investigator who has been tailing him for weeks, months, years. What kinds of movements does he make? What expressions cross his face? How does he carry himself? I really like the detail of 'using his canines to scrape dirt;' I can picture that well and it would be a lovely short description in the middle of a story.

18-Jan-2013 22:29:47

Quick find code: 49-50-265-64193226 Back to Top