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Seph
Jun Member 2008

Seph

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Alas, poor Ricky! So close to getting K0ed...


In fact...That gives me a suggestion idea!


Try adding a few characters that are only briefly mentioned/involved in the story a few times! That was you could easily throw in some comic relief in a fight!

OOORRRR!!!

You could just list an unimportant guy once, just so you can talk about how we got ripped to pieces from behind by Ba'al's d claws. :D

OOOORRRR!!!


Genius can quit whining. >.>


OOORRR!!!!


Random dude: OMG A RANDOM!?


Soule: No, it's-

Random dude: AWMG, IT'S A RANDOM IN DENIEL!!!!

Soule: >.<


the random dude's name was Genius Dog....tisk.


~Insane Soule "How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real?" -Jaden Smith

16-Oct-2009 02:33:20

Serene End
Jul Member 2020

Serene End

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This won't be the last we see of little Ricky. I can assure you that much! ^_^ (Ricky will not suffer the ultimate pj via Ba'al 's fancy, spiffy claws.)

And I do pursue Writing as my career! It's pretty much the best I can do, so why not? And I'd probably change my last name for a pen name. But not so much my first one. I love my first name. ^_^ (if writing doesn't go well, then I'll be a voice actress :D )

As for your story, Tranfork. I'll read it once I have free time. Which will most likely be tomorrow. So, yeah. There ya go. ^^

Have a good night (or day) everyone, :)

…,.»·•º°°º•·«.,…,.•*´¨¨†hë ènd îš ønlÿ †hè ßègïnnïng,…,„.«•*¨`*•.,..
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16-Oct-2009 03:12:06

Random Kate
Sep Member 2013

Random Kate

Posts: 1,133 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Genius, people would have known it was you even if you changed it and even if Wig didn't say it. I even knew. Oh, and like I said before, he dodged the bullet. Godmodding, remember?

Ok, I do feel sorry for Ricky, but I don't think that'll be the last of his troubles.

16-Oct-2009 03:17:23 - Last edited on 16-Oct-2009 03:17:46 by Random Kate

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Jul Member 2020

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I just want to let everyone know that Living Crime is probably going to be different than anything I've written before. So, just wanted to let you all know. :P

…,.»·•º°°º•·«.,…,.•*´¨¨†hë ènd îš ønlÿ †hè ßègïnnïng,…,„.«•*¨`*•.,..
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17-Oct-2009 00:23:27

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Jul Member 2020

Serene End

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Sorry about there not being a chapter up. Haven't really been a typing mood lately, and I have been a little down. But I'll try to get my head in the game tomorrow! Hopefully, everyone understands yet another of my excuses. >_>

Thanks for your understanding,
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20-Oct-2009 00:45:56

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Chapter 8: Vigorous

Marcello, the young Assassin Hunter, was in his room. He was wrapped in the sheets of his bed, bearing the fact that it's almost bone chilling outside and inside. His eyes wandered, gazed at the pouring rain. He thought of the frigid cold outside, but nightmares clouded his mind.

Tainted memories of scouring flames and the strong scent of blood. Seeing embers fill the sky, hearing screams from all angles of his hearing. In his head played a memory of terror. Terrible memories of a small silver haired boy frantically searching for his family.

"Father! Mother! Brother!" he shouted off the top of his lungs. He hasted through the burnt down memories of his village. All crushed, all ruined. When he arrives to his house, it was smothered by flames and smoke. His eyes could not believe what he was seeing. Tear fell down his young face.

Until he heard his name being yelled by a voice he knew by heart. He looks back and saw a boy who looked exactly like him. "Marcello!!" the boy repeated. The words the other boy was shouting was like a blur to young Marcello. He inhaled the smoke and the smell of blood. A smell that will be permanently etched into his memory.

"Brother!" Marcello yelled. He frantically hasted over to young Ba'al. But he trips over something sticking out from the ground.

His brother giggled. "You idiot," he laughed, "watch where you're going."

Marcello sits up and looks at what he tripping over. It looked like an arm sticking out from the mud. He wipes the dirt away to reveal what it was. When he sees it, his breath is taken out of his small body in a loud gasp. He glanced upon the body's face and covered his mouth in disbelief as tear poured out of his little eyes.
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20-Oct-2009 23:44:21

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Young Ba'al was curious about what his brother was making a big fuss about. He walked over without care. "What is it, Marcello?" he asked. The other brother looked at what Marcello tripped over, and his eyes widened. The body was of their mother, her skin was as white as winter.

Marcello shook his mother violently, trying to wake her up. His mother's skin was cold to the touch. "Mom! Mom!! Mom!!!" he repeated loudly. No matter what Marcello did, his mother's eyes would not open. Marcello's brother knew what had happened to her, but his brother had no understanding of what death was.

Fearful Ba'al could not watch this any longer. "Stop!" he yelled, pulling Marcello away from their mother's body.

Marcello's hands were covered in blood, he glanced up at Ba'al. "B-brother..." he muttered softly.

"There's nothing we can do, Marcello. Mom's gone."

"Gone?"

"..She isn't alive anymore.."

"What do you mean...?"

Young Ba'al shook his head. "We're not going to see her, hear her, and talk to her anymore."

"W-w-why?" The fear gleamed in Ba'al 's eyes. He embraces young Marcello. The feeling of warmth by his brother was peaceful, nice. Marcello felt safe with his brother's skin wrapped around him. After a minute Ba'al lets go of Marcello and stood firm on his feet. "C'mon. We've got to find Dad." stated Ba'al.

"O-okay.." replied Marcello. They hasted away from where they were, but Ba'al looked back at his mother's body. He lets out a sigh and continues.

Marcello recalled this day, everyday. Like a song playing over and over in his head, he remembered this day. The smoke, the blood, the moment he looked upon his mother's dead face, to the feeling of his brother's warm embrace. All of it he remembered like it was yesterday.
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20-Oct-2009 23:48:39

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