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RS Story Contest #4 - Survivor

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Borna Coric

Borna Coric

Posts: 3,785 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Persistent as always, Aeraie. You'll now have your chance. :)

As he not posted for many weeks, Dieidiot0 has been removed as a member of the Authors; this now means that a new round will be held to induct the seventh member of this group. This shall run parallel with the coming voting and writing round, and will be judged just before the final vote.

Information will be up sometime later today.

03-Aug-2011 07:38:46

Tabris V
Oct Member 2010

Tabris V

Posts: 7,587 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Seasons are passing
A blossom has sprouted from
The tree I cut down


Excerpts from the Journal of Louis St. Germain

May 19th

It finally happened, my dear. The head of the north-eastern gargoyle has fallen. It happened in a heavy rain last week, even though I had tried to warn them. I suspect they think I’m simply a crazy old man, obsessing over a trivial thing like a single statue on the side of a church. Maybe I am. It’s been so long since I saw you last, and I can’t forget the night we spent on that roof. I figure that’s why I took the room on this street, despite the otherwise poor location. It was too dark back then for me to tell where we were, and the street had changed a bit, but I think I still remembered before I pieced it together that this was the street in my mind.

***

May 28th

I suppose I’ll have to move on again, soon. I’ve been in this city for forty years. I’ve tried to keep moving every so often, I but I’m starting to think that the city is starting to see me for who I am. Perhaps even this country is beginning to disagree with me, and I may have to look for a new continent other than this one that I have spent these last couple centuries in.

***

July 3rd

Saw a girl that looked like you as I was making arrangements to have my things transported to a new location in R------. Couldn’t finish. Will deal with it later.

***

July 15th

Saw her again. I wanted to talk to her, but I suspected that embarrassing impropriety might arise if I approached her with her governess, no less.

***

August 13th

I finished the unpacking in my new rooms near the outskirts. I regret leaving my memories of you, my dear, but I did not believe that I could manage to stay in that location much longer. I suspect that I may have stayed far too long already.

03-Aug-2011 07:52:10

Tabris V
Oct Member 2010

Tabris V

Posts: 7,587 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
***

September 2nd

Saw her for the third time, this by complete accident. She looks so much like you, my dear. I miss you so terribly, seeing her in the prime of life. It is almost as if she is you reincarnate.

***

September 14th

I had to answer a few questions today which made me a tad uncomfortable. Granted, they have no idea what they might be investigating, but would wager that any inspection is not a good thing. Right now, they might suspect some sort of fraud or identity crimes, and both could make things inconvenient.

***

October 7th

I spoke to her for the first time, my dear. It took some careful following, but I managed a short conversation with her, and my heart can do nothing but ache at your beauty in her.

***

November 1st

All Saints’ Day today. I have always thought of you on both today and yesterday, though your grave may be worn away by time and the memory of how like a saint you were removed by the spectre of death. Perhaps, though, this is not forever.

***

November 26th

I have moved for the third time. It took only a few days before the authorities began to probe this area once more. I think I may have to leave quite abruptly once my aims are accomplished. Oh, my dear, I have missed you so very much.

***

December 20th

R------ and you, my dear. Now, I can begin my life again, just as you have.

03-Aug-2011 07:52:32

Borna Coric

Borna Coric

Posts: 3,785 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Xanthian93: I like the opening quote of your story, but I think the reduced time you had reflects on some of the lines. The way you link dialogue back to the haiku is really ingenious, however, and pulls everything together a lot more comprehensively. I don’t like the way you finished your entry (the final sentence), though. I would have preferred a reference to the silence that ensued after her death, or something similar. Apart from that, this is a well written story that has a great impact, and integrates the haiku creatively and innovatively. Well done.

Archive: Unfortunately, the length again makes your entry very shallow and does not allow any development towards the characters or plot. I am sorry that your time was not in great abundance, but you could have built on your initial haiku really well had you written in greater depth. I don’t have much else to say than that. It’s a shame that you did*’t get to reflect your writing talent.

Nyyrikki V: So the haiku is a metaphor for the story? I think you need to expand your diary entries a bit more, or cut down on some to accommodate for others, so that your entry has more depth. Some of them just seem as if they’re there for the sake of it, and don’t actually contribute to the plot. Putting that aside, I like the development of your story. You capture an immortal’s life as I’d imagine it, repetitive and monotonous. I like the gargoyle entry at the top, as it captures the idea that not much happens to him. There are a few grammatical errors in there, most likely due to the fact that you left it to the last hour or so to write (obviously, Leb). The style of writing doesn’t really allow for a consistent pace to develop, so I can’t touch on that, but your tone is really nicely done as well. Overall, you develop a nice story. Good job.

03-Aug-2011 09:04:58

Borna Coric

Borna Coric

Posts: 3,785 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I now have to somehow pick a winner from you three. As far the top two goes, it is definitely between Xanthian93 and Nyyrikki V. However, it’s very hard to judge two entries that both follow very different styles and ambitions. As such, I have to revert back to the main challenge set out, which is the haiku and the development of it throughout the story.

I really like the imagery that is immediately set out in Xanthian’s entry, and he develops it really well into a high-impact entry. On the other hand, Nyyrikki works in a metaphor through the haiku, even though it doesn’t set out an immediate plot or imagery.

I am in a dilemma.

I’ve read through the entries a few more times, and am awarding the win to Xanthian93. I felt that his haiku was slightly more developed and builds into a more comprehensive story, even though Nyyrikki integrates some fantastic techniques.

Congratulations! As the winner of this round, you automatically proceed to the final as a member of the Top 3. You also take through another contestant with you. This person is:

Sir Lamentar

Again, congratulations! You will sit alongside each other at the final elimination, and have great chances of winning the contest, as decided by the Authors.

Archive and Nyyrikki V are now up for elimination, only one proceeding to the final. Well done to the both of you, Pat in particular, for your entries.

03-Aug-2011 09:05:09

Borna Coric

Borna Coric

Posts: 3,785 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
It turns out that I can go ahead and announce the Final Three now, as no vote can alter the outcome. I shall announce this without the whole big elimination post, as it isn't necessary for this. The voting situation was as follows:

Xanthian93: If wins, takes through Sir Lamentar. Vote off Archive as first preference, then Nyyrikki V as second.
Archive: If wins, takes through Nyyrikki V. Vote off Sir Lamentar as first preference, then Xanthian93 as second.
Nyyrikki V: If wins, takes through Archive. Vote off Sir Lamentar as first preference, then Xanthian93 as second.
Sir Lamentar: Not given.

Because of the situation in this round where the two up for elimination would cancel each other's votes out, it falls down to the two with immunity. In this case, it is Xanthian93 and Sir Lamentar. Xan votes Archive as an immediate first preference, and even if Lamen chooses to vote for Nyyrikki V, the placings in this round would mean that Nyyr is safe. As such, the Final Three consists of:

- Sir Lamentar
- Xanthian93
- Nyyrikki V

Congratulations to all of you. You have survived six rounds of murder, and now stand as the three in the running to win the contest.

The eleventh person voted out of Survivor: RuneScape Stories Forums is... Archive. Bad luck on not making the final, but you become the final member of the Authors to decide the winner of the contest. Your entries have been great to read as the rounds have ticked over, and I look forward to reading more of your content.

03-Aug-2011 09:20:46 - Last edited on 03-Aug-2011 09:25:18 by Borna Coric

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