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~` Lumbridge (Again) `~
(Everyone has landed but Savior, and Joe sits up, brushing off the dirt from his pants)
Joe: Well, that worked. >.<
(Suddenly, Savior crashes into a nearby adventurer)
High-level person: Gah! What are you doing?
Savior: It's you!
High-level person: Ugh, not you
Iceburg: You two know each other?
Savior: Mhmm.
High-level person: I'm going to kill you, noob!
(Suddenly, a voice calls from a distance)
Gnome 4: You forgot this!
(As High-level person begins to advance upon Savior, a shovel bashes into his skull)
High-level person: Rawr? (Falls down)
Joe: ...
Stupid Mage: Beth! (Runs and grabs shovel, stroking it)
Iceburg:
(Everyone is staring at Stupid Mage)
Stupid Mage: Don't doubt our love! (As he turns to run, he crashes into another adventurer)
???: Hello!
High-level person: (Babbles incoherently)
Joe: A-ny-way, who are you?
???: Well, my name is-
Savior: It's you, Spiderman! I knew you'd come back to me! (Hugs)
???: Actually, I am...
Savior: Wait, are you that lowlife Batman? Or the edgy Superman?
???: No.
Savior: Don't tell me. You're Wonder-woman!
???: No!
Savior: Are you Joe?
Joe: How can he be me when I am clearly me and he is clearly him?
???: My name is Scott, guys.
Savior: Well, why didn't you just say that?
Scott: I was busy being mentally assaulted...
Iceburg: Uhh, what's up?
Scott: Nothing big, but here's my friend coming along. Mind if he joins up with us?
Joe: Sure, why not? I mean, we already have an imbecile, Iceburg, a shovel-loving buffoon, you, and me.
Scott: Great! Here he is!
???: Hey.
Joe: Your name would be...?
???: The name is Sparker.
Savior: Eh, you're boring. I thought you'd be a superhero.
Stupid Mage: (In the corner) Oh, Beth...
Sparker: ...
Iceburg: Oh, that's Stupid Mage. He has a shovel fetish.
Sparker: I see.
Savior: Anyway, it's time to go! Vaminos!

06-Jul-2008 20:32:16 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:28:55 by CaptChekaka

~` Al-Kharid `~
Joe: (Looking to the east) Well, Lumbridge is lame and we haven't gone this way yet!
Savior: What if it's a trap? (Looks around suspiciously)
(Joe slaps Savior)
Savior: =.=' (Cries)
Stupid Mage: What's over there anyway?
Iceburg: Al-Kharid, the city in the desert.
Stupid Mage: Then let's go!
(Moments later, they arrive at the gates of Al-Kharid)
Guard 1: Ten Gold, please.
Savior: For what?
Guard 2: To pass through the gates into Al-Kharid, of course.
Savior:
Guard 1: Twenty gold!
Joe: Oh, fantastic...
Savior: Forty!
Guard 1: Sixty!
Savior: Ten! Final offer!
Guard 1: Eighty! Wait...
Savior: Oh, fine. Five hundred thousand gold.
Guard 2: I see.
Joe: He doesn't understand the concept of 'haggling'.
Guard 1: Mhmm.
Savior: This is ridiculous! I'm not paying!
(Several clanking noises are heard and then Savior sees Joe and the others on the other side)
Joe: Adios, Savior!
Savior: How did you outsmart those geniuses?
Stupid Mage: We paid...
Savior: I never thought of that!
Iceburg: You sir, are an idiot.
Savior:
Joe: Either find a way over, find ten gold, or stay there and die.
Savior: How much does this 'dying' cost?
Joe: >.< Just find a way over.
Savior: Fine!
(Savior heads down to the southern edge of the gate)
Stupid Mage: Is he going to try and jump?
Savior: Of course! I was voted most athletic in high school!
Joe: Most athletic? (Looks at Iceburg)
(Savior attempts to jump the gate, and he does so. However, while he is going over the top, a loud noise is heard. Savior was able to make it over the gate; but, as he landed, he tripped and crashes into a rock, dramatically)
Savior: I told you... (Falls over)
Iceburg: (Sighs) Your pants got stuck on the railing.
Savior: Oh, that was the breeze!
Joe: Put your pants on... >.<
(Savior stands up and puts his pants on, reluctantly)
Savior: The breeze... It is gone.

06-Jul-2008 20:37:51 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:29:07 by CaptChekaka

~` Al-Kharid Palace `~
Savior: Ahh! (Starts jumping up and down screaming wildly)
Joe: What's wrong now?
Savior: The sand! It burns!
Stupid Mage: You have no shoes?
???: Hey!
Joe: Oh, look. It's that guy.
Scott: You left us!
Iceburg: Oh, sorry about that.
Savior: Heh, it's been known to happen.
Sparker: You just leave people?
Stupid Mage: It happens. (Shrugs)
Scott:
???: Hey, you over there!
Joe: Hmm? Who's that?
???: I'm just looking for some friends to travel with. Mind if I come along?
Savior: Sure! What's your name?
???: The name is Foxes, but call me Fox.
Iceburg: Sounds good to me.
Joe: Anyway, I'm Joe. The others are Savior, Iceburg, Sparker, Scott, and Stupid Mage.
Fox: Cool. Anyway, what're we going to do?
Savior: Big palace! (Runs towards the Al-Kharid palace)
Joe: Seems like we're heading to the palace.
Fox: Sounds good.
???: Ha! You think that scum like you is allowed inside of my glorious abode?
Savior: Oh, come on. Please let me in!
???: I, Prince Ali, will not allow thee!
Savior: Wow, you're stuck up.
Prince Ali: What did you say?
(Meanwhile, five feet away...)
Sparker: Great, what's going to happen?
Joe: Let's go. >.<
(They go behind Savior, crossing their arms)
Savior: Ha! See? You can't even think of a comeback!
Prince Ali: That's it! Insult battle!
(Everyone makes a circle around the two)
Savior: Fine! You're so fat, when you go outside to meet some friends - there's an eclipse!
Stupid Mage: Aww snap!
Prince Ali: You're so stupid that you brought a knife to a gun fight!
Stupid Mage: Oh, no he didn't! (Snaps wildly in front of his face)
Savior: You're momma is so hairy, the only language she speaks is Wookie! (Growls)
Stupid Mage: Can you say owned? (Continues to snap wildly)
Prince Ali: You're so stupid, that... that...
Savior: Ha! Victory!
Prince Ali: No! (Runs inside, crying)
Savior: Yes!

06-Jul-2008 20:37:52 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:29:23 by CaptChekaka

~` Desert Wandering `~
Joe: I have to admit, you did a good job back there, Savior.
Savior: Huh? Back where? (Confused look)
Iceburg: Back where you had the terrifying insult battle with Prince Ali.
Savior: I battled?
Iceburg: Yeah... when we were at the palace.
Savior: Nope. Doesn't ring a bell.
Sparker: >.<
Stupid Mage: (Sigh)
(After a long and dangerous fifteen minutes, they arrive at the desert border)
Border Guard: Pass please.
Savior: Okay.
(He tries to go through, but the guard blocks him)
Border Guard: Pass please.
Savior: Okay...?
(He tries to go through, but the guard blocks him)
Border Guard: Pass please.
Savior: (Starts to tear up) Let me through!
Border Guard: ...
Savior: Finally!
Border Guard: Pass please.
Savior: No! (Starts to cry)
Joe: >.< Go around, maybe?
Savior: Oh.
(He goes around the guard)
Border Guard: No! I have been defeated! (Melts)
Iceburg: Erm... Okay?
Fox: Anyway! Let's split up into teams. Here, you three read this note.
(Fox hands Joe a note)
Joe: Hmm... "Note: The teams will be as follows. Fox, Sparker, Stupid Mage, and Scott will be Team One, and the other three will be Team Two."
Savior: What! I don't want to be Team Two!
Sparker: Too late! We're Team One. We called it.
Iceburg: ...
Savior: Fine! You guys can be crummy Team One. We'll be Team A.
(Team One leaves, leaving team A all alone)
Joe: >.< Great.
(They wander around the desert hopelessly for hours, until finally...)
Savior: I need water... (Starts to exaggerate his gasping)
Joe: Didn't you bring some?
Savior: Bring what?
Iceburg: Ugh.
Savior: Seriously! What?

06-Jul-2008 20:37:53 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:29:57 by CaptChekaka

~` Bandits `~
Savior: Please tell me what you were talking about?
Iceburg: Ugh.. I think he has heatstroke.
Joe: I wouldn't discard that theory.
Iceburg: Yeah. (Pauses and looks up) Hey! Look up there!
Savior: Huh?
(They see a few people on a cliff above them)
Savior: Maybe they have water!
Joe: Now you remember?
Savior: Remember what?
Iceburg: >.> Never mind that for now.
Joe: What's going on up there...?
???: You are to be killed!
Scott: (Gasp)
Iceburg: It's Scott, Sparker, and Stupid Mage!
Joe: But where's Fox?
???: You let me into your little "group", and now you all will die!
Savior: Hey, look. Fox has them all tied up on a pole. (To himself) Yay! Team A is victorious!
Joe: What? We have to save them!
Fox: Go, my bandits. Get me a torch.
Bandits: Yes, sir! Right away.
Fox: Mwuhahahaha!
???: Not so fast!
Fox: What the...?
(Fox turns and is punched in the face by a mysterious fellow)
Bandits: What? No! Boss!
???: (To Team One) Don't worry, I'll save you guys.
(He unties them)
Fox: (Spits out blood) Kill him!
Stupid Mage: Who - Who are you?
???: The name's Monowolf. (Smirks)
Bandits: You will perish!
Monowolf: Not today!
(Monowolf draws his Rune Longsword and his Rune Kite Shield)
Bandits: For our Lord!
(Monowolf swings his shield around, knocking away one of the bandits. Then, his sword twists elegantly in his hand, striking another bandit and decapitating him)
Fox: Bah. I'll kill you then. (Stands)
Monowolf: Now you die.
Fox: Not today! (He jumps and, luckily, presses a button)
(A large cannon rises out of the ground)
Monowolf: >.< Darn. (The cannon goes off, and Monowolf is killed instantly)
Fox: Now for the rest... (Turns)
Savior: Hey look! (Points randomly)
Fox: Huh?
Joe: Quick! Run while he's distracted!
Fox: What the...?
(The cannon goes off, again, and Savior's group is sent flying)
Fox: Curses.

06-Jul-2008 20:37:54 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:30:09 by CaptChekaka

~` Return to Varrock `~
Savior: Ahh!
Joe: >.> Not this again...
Scott: Anyway, thanks for saving us.
Iceburg: It wasn't us; it was that psychotic Monowolf guy that basically decimated all of our enemies.
Sparker: Oh. So, where is he?
Joe: I have no idea. A better question is: where are we?
Iceburg: I believe we're slightly east of Varrock.
Stupid Mage: I think we should head into town and stock up supplies.
Joe: Oddly enough, that's a good idea.
(Suddenly, High-level person appears in a flash in front of them)
High-level person: I knew I'd find you!
Savior: Oh, wow. Here I am, with only a magical Santa with limitless abilities by my side to defend myself against such a formidable foe.
(Savior puts on the Santa hat and transforms into Santa Savior)
Santa Savior: Ho-Ho-Ho! (Blasts a funnel of toys at High-level person)
High-level person:
(A huge explosion occurs and High-level person is killed instantly)
Joe: Oh, yeah. I remember that. Why haven't you worn your Santa hat for such a long while?
Savior: One - I had a gnome hat before.
Iceburg: Okay?
Savior: Two - We were in a desert.
Joe: What difference does that make?!
Savior: Hello! Santa lives at the North Pole! Duh!
Stupid Mage: ...
Savior: Three - The most important reason of all...
Joe: Hmm?
Savior: I forgot about it.
Joe: >.> (Sigh)
Sparker: Well, that's kind of funny...
(Everyone but Savior stares at him)
Sparker: What?
Joe: Let's just head to Varrock.
Savior: What? Why? Last time we were there, my ferrets died!
Joe: We'll have a memorial service then.
(A few hours, broken bones, unfinished sandwiches, and sprained pancreases later...)
Joe: And so, we remember the ferrets that belonged to Savior and gave up their lives for us so long ago.
Scott: What the?
Sparker: Just smile and go along with it.
Iceburg: Erm... they were good?
Savior: That means so much! (Sobs)

06-Jul-2008 20:37:55 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:30:21 by CaptChekaka

~` Demon Summoning `~
Savior: Well, that was fun.
Joe: You cried for two hours straight. >.>
Savior: I know.
Iceburg: ...
Scott: Anyway, we need to go a buy some food. I say we send Savior.
Savior: Okay!
(Savior runs up, pushes over Scott, takes the money for the food, and runs off)
Sparker: ...
Scott: What?
Joe: That has to be the *stupidest* thing anyone has *ever* done.
Iceburg: I concur.
Stupid Mage: I don't even know what's happening...
Joe: >.<
(Meanwhile, five minutes away at the Varrock Square... Oh, and we mean that time in relevance to distance, not actual time, which would suggest that this event is taking place five minutes in the future.)
Savior: Buying a large amount of food!
Merchant 1: Want to buy some cooked rat?
Savior: Naw, too ratty.
Merchant 2: Want to buy some lobster?
Savior: No, least time I ate that I was called fat.
Merchant 3: Want to buy a small gerbil?
Savior: Tempting, but no.
Scammer: Want to buy some rare seeds?
Savior: How rare can they be if they fall off of any old tree?
Scammer: These are special.
Savior: Like my mommy says I am?
Scammer: Erm... no.
Savior: Then what kind of special is it?
Scammer: These seeds grow if you chant words around them.
Savior: Ooh. What're the words?
Scammer: Money first.
Savior: Okay!
(Savior hands over all the money for four small seeds)
Scammer: Okay, here are the words: I-a is-a stupid-a noob-a. Got it?
Savior: Yes, I understand.
Scammer: Good, now repeat.
Savior: I-a is-a stupid-a noob-a!
Scammer: Good.
(Savior returns to Joe and proceeds to tell him about the seeds)
Joe: What?!
Savior: Here, watch.
(Savior plants the seeds and chants the magic words, and an explosion immediately follows)
Iceburg: It worked?
Demon: Roar!
Savior: I'm going to call you 'Fluffy'!
Demon: Roar?
Savior: Fluffy!
(Savior gives the Demon, Fluffy, a hug)

06-Jul-2008 20:37:56 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:30:38 by CaptChekaka

~` Abduction `~
(Hours after the summoning of 'Fluffy', the Demon.)
Savior: (Holding a picture of Fluffy) Aww... he was so fluffy, too.
Joe: Where'd you get a picture?
Savior: I've had this for years... (Sobs)
Iceburg: You just met it!
Savior: Don't call Fluffy an it! He was a living thing!
(Suddenly, a massive explosion occurs and the ground is split.)
???: Savior! I have come for thee!
Savior: Yay! I'm popular!
(The person pulls Savior down into the crack and it seals)
Joe: >.> Did that just happen?
Iceburg: Eh. Well, I guess we should wait for him.
(Scott walks up, but he is a lizard, which is odd.)
Scott: Can Stupid Mage turn me back into a person now?
Sparker: No! You're going to stay a lizard until you learn the lesson!
Scott: There's a lesson?!
(Meanwhile, with Savior and the stranger underground.)
???: Hahahaha! Prepare to die!
Savior: (Ignoring him) Nice house.
???: You like it? I've been thinking of painting the -- Hey!
Savior: What?
???: That's not going to work!
Savior: Huh?
???: I will have my revenge!
Savior: One question.
???: Yes?
Savior: Who are you?
???: I am the one you defeated!
Savior: I've crushed a lot of people -- emotionally most of the time...
???: That's not the point!
Savior: But, you said...
???: Forget what I said!
Savior: Okay.
???: Now, as I was saying...
Savior: Where am I? How did I get down here?
???: Okay, look. When I said that, I didn't mean --
Savior: Who are you?
???: >.> (Slaps his face with his hand) Never mind.
(Meanwhile, back with Joe)
Scott: I don't want to be a lizard!
Stupid Mage: Fine! Alikab!
Scott: Yay!
(Another explosion occurs...)
???: Take him back! Please!
Iceburg: Striker?
Striker: Yes. I was going to kill Savior, but he's an idiot!
Joe: True.
Striker: Gah!
(Striker runs off, leaving Savior behind)
Savior: ... Who was that guy?

06-Jul-2008 20:37:57 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:30:53 by CaptChekaka

~` A Viscous Alliance `~
Iceburg: Well, Striker has just made himself even more pathetic than before...
Joe: Mhmm.
Savior: Well...
(Suddenly, the Varrockian wall, which they were standing by, explodes and Stupid Mage is hit by a red ball of magic that followed)
Stupid Mage: (Crashes into a tree) Ugh...
Striker: Ha! You thought I wouldn’t return?
Scott: Striker!
Striker: Yes, it is I! Now, we will finally kill you all!
Iceburg: What do you mean ‘we’?
Striker: Mwuhahahaha! We decided that, alone, we are weak, but, together, we are almost invincible!
Foxes: Yes, and now we will take that Santa.
Savior: Never!
Mystery: (Jumps over the remaining parts of the wall and fires a ball of magic at Savior) You don’t have a choice!
Savior: No! Not my free will! (Falls into the fetal position and, somehow, rolls out of the way)
Mystery: ... I hate you. >.<
Stupid Mage: Fly, Beth, fly! (Throws a shovel at Foxes, which lands just short of his left foot)
Foxes: ... (Picks up the shovel and breaks it in half with his bare hands)
Stupid Mage: Beth! Magnifica Incantum!
(Suddenly, a giant tunnel of fire erupts from Stupid Mage’s hands, swirling towards Foxes at an incredible speed)
Foxes: Gah! How did he...?
(Foxes is hit by the massive column, and he is sent flying into the nearby wall)
Striker: No! Foxes! (Draws his large sword) Now... (Points at Stupid Mage) you die!
Stupid Mage:
Scott: Not today! (Swings his large, blue-tinted sword at Striker, who is forced to block it)
Striker: Fine! You go first!
(Striker and Scott begin to battle)
Joe: Come on, Iceburg, let’s go help ‘em!
(Suddenly, Varoki appears in a column of smog)
Varoki: Not so fast! (He draws two scimitars and wildly swings at Joe and Iceburg, and they begin to fight)
Mystery: (Looks at Savior) I guess we’re to fight, then.
Savior: But... I’m a pacifist!
Mystery: >.< Idiot. Let’s go!

06-Jul-2008 20:37:58 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:31:06 by CaptChekaka

~` The Battle Continues `~
Mystery: Valiote!
Savior: Gah! (He rolls to one side and slides the Santa Hat on)
Mystery: Not today! Heliopha! (The spell sends a wild spray of rock shards hurdling towards Savior)
Savior: No! Help!
Stupid Mage: Tyloniet! (A shield covers Savior)
Mystery: >.<
Savior: I’m alive!
Mystery: Not for long! Valiote!
(Meanwhile, a few yards away)
Striker: Aha! (Sends his sword crashing down onto Scott’s left arm)
Scott: Gah!
Striker: Now... time to die.
Sparker: No! (Jumps in front of the blade and is struck in the chest)
Striker: Huh?
(Sparker falls to the ground motionless, and Striker is distracted by his courage and/or stupidity)
Scott: No! Sparker! (He quickly casts a spell) Magnifica Incantum!
(Striker is hit with a giant column of fire and sent flying into the Varrockian wall)
Scott: No... Sparker.
Sparker: (Spits out blood) Heh... that kind of hurt...
(Meanwhile...)
Varoki: Those pathetic fools! (Brings down his sword hard and knocks Joe’s weapon away) Aha!
Joe: >.< Ahh shoot.
Iceburg: Hell no! (Blocks Varoki’s second attack with his sword)
Varoki: You forgot about the other one! (Swings at Iceburg’s open arm)
Iceburg: (Gasps)
Joe: (Punches the distracted Varoki in the face and knocks him to the ground) Take that!
Varoki: (Looks up and sees the silver tint of Iceburg’s sword in front of his face) I guess you win this time. (Vanishes in a column of smoke)
Mystery: (Still fighting Savior, who is on the ground) First...
Savior: Novelty Toy Barrage! (A large amount of toys fly from Savior's hands and smash into Mystery, sending him plummeting to the ground)
Mystery: (Spits) Touché. (Vanishes in the same fashion as Varoki)
Striker and Foxes: (Just standing up) Umm... We’re going to go now. (They run off)
Sparker: Ugh. Thanks for healing me, Stupid Mage.
Stupid Mage: No problem... (Sniff) Beth!
Savior: Well, we win!

06-Jul-2008 20:37:59 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:31:19 by CaptChekaka