Forums

~` Falador `~
Savior: Are we there yet?
Joe: No.
Savior: Are we -
Joe: Stop! Not again.
Guard 1: Hey! What is your business here?
Mystery: I strongly suggest you let us through.
Savior: Yeah! Or I'll beat you with my stick!
Guard 2: You don't have a stick.
Savior: Touché.
Joe: Are you always a complete imbecile?
Mystery: Let us through or die.
Guard 1: I don’t think so.
Joe: Then die!
Savior: (Howls)
(Everyone stops)
Savior: What?
Guard 1: Wow...
Mystery: Slainko Ben*zer!
Guard 1 & 2: Argh! (They die)
Joe: Whoa... nice.
Mystery: Thank you.
Savior: ... Bah. A sheep catapult would’ve worked like that, too. >.>
Joe: Wow, only you would think of that.
Mystery: So true.
Joe: Lets head to the bank.
(They start walking when suddenly...)
High-level person: Hey!
Savior: Huh? Oh, not again.
Mystery: You know this person?
Joe: Savior has an "interesting" relationship with him.
Savior: In other words, I put a squirrel down his pants.
High-level person: And I’ll get you back now!
Savior: Just think of how nice I was!
High-level person: Huh?
Savior: I could’ve picked a squirrel that had rabies!
High-level person: Ahh! Darn your noob idiocy! (Dies)
Savior: Again?
Nooblet: Ahh! It’s you!
(Looks for a wall)
Nooblet: He'll kill us all!
(Nooblet picks up a shield and bashes it into his face, knocking him out)
Joe: Ow...
(Savior and the others use the bank and then head out)
Joe: Ahh... time to go to Varrock
Savior: Yay! We get to see Iceburg again!
Mystery: (To himself) These fools....
(Meanwhile)
Iceburg: Ugh. I have to get there. I'm almost to the chicken coop...
(Back with Savior)
Savior: Yay! We get to go to an absolutely filthy place of work! A mine!
Joe: Hey look! The test results arrived.
Savior: You weren’t supposed to take that!
(Somehow, Savior uses a spell and incinerates the papers in Joe's hands)
Joe: >.<

06-Jul-2008 20:15:34 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:20:00 by CaptChekaka

~` Falador Mines `~
Savior: So what's in the mine?
Mystery: Scorpions.
Savior: Oh! I can kill them!
Mystery: Probably not.
Savior: You saying I can't kill a bug? Don't make me go Santa on you.
Joe: Calm down, and he's probably right.
Savior: Thanks for the help.
Mystery: That doesn't matter, let's go already.
Joe: Everyone take some food.
Mystery: Keep mine, I won't need it.
Savior: (Mumbles)
Joe: Say something, Savior?
Savior: No.
Mystery: Can we go already?
Joe: Sure...
Savior: Down the steps!
(Savior slips down the steps and lands on something squishy)
Savior: Eww! What is this gunk?
Mystery: That would be the remains of a scorpion.
Joe: Nice.
Savior: (Gulp)
Mystery: Just don't die.
Joe: Go first Mystery.
Mystery: Okay. (Turns) Slainte Deselive!
(Mystery flies off, levitating)
Joe: Let's go.
(Joe runs into the hoard of scorpions)
Savior: Time for Santa's sleigh to come into play! Santa ho!
(Savior begins to transform into Santa Savior)
Santa Savior: Ho-Ho-Ho! Feel my icy fists!
(Santa Savior runs by Joe)
Joe: Lucky little...
(At the end of the mine)
Santa Savior: Yes! I made it!
(Savior transforms back)
Mystery: Just in time too...
Savior: Huh?
Joe: Wait for me!
Mystery: Slamiente Delsevi!
(The mine caves in, killing Joe)
Savior: Traitor!
Mystery: Fall before my power! Slamiente Del--- Ugh!
(An arrow went straight through Mystery)
Mystery: (Looks down at his chest) Darn. >.< (Dies)
Savior: Huh?
Joe: Think I'd leave you?
Savior: How did you...?
Joe: Let's just say that I can tame scorpions.
Savior: Anyway, to Varrock?
Joe: Yes, to Varrock.
(Meanwhile, in Varrock)
Iceburg: Hmm. They will come through Varrock so I'll wait.
(Meanwhile, in some random place I don't feel like looking up)
Mystery: Hahahaha! It is going as planned.

06-Jul-2008 20:16:00 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:20:12 by CaptChekaka

~` Monastery Visit `~
Savior: Oh man, I am really tired...
Joe: Yeah, me too...
Savior: You have a map?
Joe: Yeah I do.
Savior: Well, check it.
Joe: Okay... entertain yourself while I find it.
Savior: Okay...
Savior: "Just a small town girl! Living in a lonely world! She took the midnight train going a-ny-where..."
Joe: Okay, that's enough...
Savior: I should be a singer...
(They hear an explosion)
Joe: Huh?
(Suddenly they are surrounded by seven mages)
Mage 1: Release Savior to us! Or die!
Joe: Never!
Savior: Yeah! What do you want with me?
Mage 2: This is none of your concern.
Joe: You still will have to get through us!
Savior: Never! Go my ferrets! Go!
Mage 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7: Ahh! Ferrets!
Savior: Run Joe!
Joe: Ahh!
(They run until they find a clearing filled with trees and animals)
Joe: Where did you get ferrets?
Savior: Nowhere...
Joe:
Savior: Okay! I sold my bow and I was able to buy a ferret. So, I found it to be a good idea to do it to all of our bows and buy a lot of ferrets!
Joe: My bow. >.<
Savior: Sorry.
(A monk walks up)
Monk: Hello.
Savior: Who are you?
Monk: I am a monk from the nearby monastery.
Joe: Oh, hello.
Monk: Would you like to come and rest with us?
Joe: Thank you. We would like that.
Savior: This will give us a chance to train a little bit as well.
Joe: Maybe...
Savior: Yay!
Monk: Come and rest with us.
Savior: We will, gracias.

06-Jul-2008 20:16:01 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:20:25 by CaptChekaka

~` Barbarian Village `~
Savior: Ahh! I feel good!
Joe: Yeah... that was a nice rest.
Monk: Will you two be leaving us now?
Joe: Yes, thank you for the hospitality.
Savior: Yeah…
Joe: Well... We hope that-
Savior: Look, cabbage!
Joe: Let's go, Savior.
Savior: Aww... okay...
Joe: Thanks again.
Monk: Come back sometime.
Joe: We will.
Savior: To Varrock!
Joe: First we will stop in the Barbarian village to stock up on supplies...
Savior: Aww…
Joe: This is going to be a long walk...
Savior: No it won’t!
Joe: Huh?
Savior: Santa ho!
(Savior puts on Santa hat)
Joe: How will that help?
Savior: Watch.
Joe: Okay.
Savior: Santa Sleigh Speed!
Joe: Wow... this is not going to be cool.
(Savior grabs Joe and pulls him along at incredible speeds)
Savior: Whee!
Joe: Ahh!
(They suddenly arrive in Barbarian village)
Joe: Ugh... I feel sleigh sick.
Barbarian 1: You are not welcome here!
Savior: Why?
Barbarian 2:
Savior: Huh?
Joe: What are they staring at?
Barbarian 1: It is the great Santa!
(All Barbarians bow)
Savior: They think I’m Santa! This is great!
Joe: Why do i have the feeling of impending doom?
Nooblet: He is not Santa!
Barbarian 1: What?
Nooblet: He is a fake!
Barbarians: What?
Joe: We should run...
Barbarians: Get them!
Joe: Run?
Savior: Yeah.
Joe and Savior: Ahh!
Barbarians: Charge!
Joe: Ahh!
(Joe and Savior run out of the village and get away)
(Meanwhile)
Iceburg: Where are they?
(Meanwhile)
Mystery: Hahahaha! They will all die!

06-Jul-2008 20:16:56 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:25:22 by CaptChekaka

~` Varrock `~
Savior: Oh my gosh, so tired...
Joe: Get over it.
Savior: Man, now I know why Santa is fat... I hate walking.
Joe: That is... so stupid.
Savior: Oh well...
Joe: Oh my gosh! Look, Savior!
Savior: Huh?
Joe: It’s Varrock!
Savior: Yay! We get to see Iceburg!
Joe: Let’s go!
(They run and get to the Varrock entrance)
Guard 1: ...
Joe: Let us enter.
Guard 2: None may pass...
Savior: What?
Guard 1: Leave...
Joe: Hmm. Something is wrong with these people...
Guard 1: Leave now...
Savior: Make us!
Guard 1: That can be done...
Joe: Try it!
Guard 2: Let's fight...
???: Fire Bolt!
Guard 1 & 2: Ahh!
(Both of the guards die)
Joe: Huh?
Iceburg: Hey guys!
Savior: Yay! Iceburg!
Joe: What really happened in Port Sarim?
Iceburg: Mystery attacked me... and…
Savior: Did the ferrets die too?
Iceburg: Well - wait... what?
Savior: Nothing... continue
Iceburg: Okay.
Joe: Please just tell us.
Iceburg: Mystery is here, he has attacked everyone and they all are under a spell.
Savior: Oh, that's bad...
Joe: So the guards?
Iceburg: Yep, everyone.
Joe: Oh my gosh...
Savior: Did he get the ferrets?
Iceburg: What is with you and ferrets?
Savior: Nothing
Joe: Wow....
Iceburg: So... how did you guys get rid of Mystery?
Mystery: Who says they did?
(Mystery appears out of nowhere)
Iceburg: Huh?
Joe: Mystery!
Mystery: Hahahaha!
Savior: Ahh!
Mystery: My plan is soon to be complete...
Savior: What? Ferrets attack him!
(Mystery runs)
Joe: Get him!
Iceburg: Yeah! Get him!
(Mystery jumps down the sewer drain)
Savior: Eww…
Joe: We have to follow him...
Iceburg: Yeah, let's go
(Iceburg jumps down)
Joe: Let's go, Savior.
Savior: But my ferrets don't dry well...
Joe: Get over it...
Savior: What?
(Joe pulls Savior down with him)
Savior: Ahh! Traitor!

06-Jul-2008 20:16:57 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:20:52 by CaptChekaka

~` Varrock Sewers `~
Savior: Ahh!
Joe: Shut up, Savior. We're not falling anymore.
Savior: I know that!
Iceburg: Then what are you yelling about?
Savior: My ferrets got into my pants during the fall!
Joe:
Iceburg: What the?
Savior: Ahh! (Starts to jump wildly)
Joe: Get rid of them!
Iceburg: Hurry!
Savior: Ferrets equal nice. Ferrets in pants equal bad!
Joe: Moron.
Iceburg: ...
(Ten ferrets come out of Saviors pants and drown in the water)
Savior: No!
Joe: Three questions...
Savior: What are they?
Joe: 1 - Why are you yelling?
Savior: My ferrets done gone and died.
Joe: 2 - Why are you carrying ferrets?
Savior: Because!
Joe: 3 - How did you get ten ferrets in your pants!
Iceburg: I don’t think I want to know.
Savior: It's quite simple actually, all I did was-
Mystery: Hahahaha!
Savior: Huh?
Iceburg: (To himself) Thank you Saradomin...
Joe: We will get you, Mystery!
Mystery: Sure you will!
Savior: Santa ho!
(Savior puts on Santa hat)
Savior: Elf attack!
(Novelty toys shoot out at Mystery)
Mystery: That won't work!
(Mystery avoids easily)
Savior: That was a trick!
Mystery: Huh?
Savior: Zombie ferrets attack!
Zombie Ferrets: Banzai!
Mystery: Ahh! My allergies!
(Mystery runs away)
Joe:
Iceburg: Okay. Let's follow him!
Savior: Yeah!
(They chase Mystery deeper)
Savior: No!
Joe: ...
(They see the ten zombie ferret pieces on the ground)
Savior: This means war...
Iceburg: I'm not standing next to Savior anymore.
Savior: For ferrets!
(Savior runs to the area where Mystery ran)
Joe: Oh, well.
(They follow)
Zombie Ferret Heads: Banzai... (They die)

06-Jul-2008 20:20:15 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:21:06 by CaptChekaka

~` A Plot Discovered `~
Joe: Ugh, how fast is Savior?
Iceburg: I don’t know, let's stop...
(They stop and start to rest)
Savior: Hi!
Joe: What the hell? How did you get behind us?
Savior: Uhh... big spiders plus big webs equal really sticky stuff.
Iceburg:
Joe: Never mind...
Savior: So where's Mystery?
Joe: I don’t know...
Mystery: Hahahaha!
Savior: Huh?
(Mystery swings in and knocks Savior down)
Savior: Ahh!
Joe: Savior!
Iceburg: No!
Mystery: Hahahaha
Savior: No, he got it...
Joe: Got what?
Savior: Closer.
Iceburg: What did he get Savior?
Savior: He got - He got -
Joe: Yeah?
Savior: Actually, I don't know.
Joe:
Iceburg: Idiot.
Mystery: I'll give you a hint!
Savior: Oh! Is it a ferret?
Mystery: No.
Savior: Is it purple?
Mystery: No.
Savior: Is it big?
Mystery: Shut up and I'll tell you!
Savior: Okay.
Mystery: I got your Santa!
Savior: Well, that's not very good, is it?
Joe: What do you want with the Santa?
Iceburg: Yeah!
Mystery: This is no ordinary Santa...
Joe: Huh?
Mystery: This Santa can control everything!
Joe:
Iceburg: How did Savior get that?
Mystery: I don’t know. Last time we heard, the evil chicken had it.
Savior: You mean the big fluffy one?
Mystery:
Savior: I got it from him.
Mystery: Never mind.
Mystery: With this Santa I shall bring back the strongest person to ever live!
Joe: No!
Iceburg: What?
Savior: Yeah!
(They stare at Savior)
Savior: I just wanted to be different.
Mystery: The Altar of Chaos should work for the ritual!
Savior: Yeah! Altar of Chaos!
(They stare again)
Joe: Just don't talk.
Mystery: We shall not meet again!
(Mystery leaves in a flash)
Iceburg: We have to stop them!
Joe: But who is ‘them’?
Iceburg: It doesn't matter! To the chaos!
Savior: Yeah! Ferrets ho!
Joe: You're obsessed.

06-Jul-2008 20:20:16 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:21:18 by CaptChekaka

~` Chaos Altar `~
Savior: How much farther?
Joe: Not far.
Iceburg: Yeah. We'll get you back the Santa.
Savior: Yeah!
Nooblet: Hey!
Joe: Him again?
Iceburg: Who is this guy?
Nooblet: Have you done anything bad recently?
Savior: I killed some wizards at wizard tower, why?
Nooblet: I knew it!
Savior: ...?
Iceburg:
Joe: Oh, no you don't!
(Shoots Nooblet with an arrow)
Nooblet: Ugh! (dies)
High-level person: Hey it's you!
Savior: Huh?
High-level person: Prepare to die!
Iceburg: Not quite.
High-level person: Huh?
Iceburg: Fire Strike!
High-level person: Gah! (Dies)
Savior: Yay!
Joe: Finally.
Iceburg: Cool.
Savior: Huh? Look up there!
Joe: What?
Iceburg: Is it a bird?
Joe: Is it some kind of flying metallic object that hasn’t been invented yet?
Savior: Is it a ferret?
Iceburg: It's Mystery! And he's handing the Santa to someone.
Mystery: Here, Master, the Santa.
???: Thank you.
Mystery: Did I do well?
???: Yes, but I have no use for you now.
Mystery: What?
???: Goodbye.
Mystery: No! I haven’t had my allergy shots yet!
???: Salamorika Novido!
(Mystery turns to dust)
Savior: Hey!
???: Huh?
Joe: Stop! Give back that Santa!
Iceburg: Yeah!
???: You don't understand...
Savior: I understand you are evil!
???: No, I am Varoki.
Joe:
Iceburg: Heh... Your name is terrible.
Varoki: Nuh uh!
Joe: ...
Savior: Hahahaha!
Varoki: Once I resurrect the great one, you all will die!
Joe: Who is the great one?
Varoki: He is - Mr. X.
Savior: ...
Joe: What?
Savior: Mr X is a stupid name, too!
Varoki: Hahahaha! Salimonki, todos, salienko...
(A portal opens)
Joe: No.
Last Ferret: Banzai!
(Last Ferret knocks Varoki into the portal)
Varoki: Argh!
(The portal closes)
Savior: Ferret! No!
Joe: I'm sorry Savior.
Voice: I will be back!
Savior: (Looks at the ground) Hey, look! The Santa!

06-Jul-2008 20:20:17 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:21:31 by CaptChekaka

~` Separation `~
Savior: Ferrets! No!
Joe: It'll be okay, Savior.
Iceburg: Yeah, at least you still have the Santa.
Savior: Yeah, you're right.
Joe: Wow, you really cared.
Iceburg: So, what now?
Savior: I'm up for anything as long as it doesn't involve me sacrificing any more ferrets.
Iceburg: ...
Joe: So, I guess this is it?
Iceburg: Yeah. I guess so.
Savior: Well, goodbye!
Iceburg: Nah! I'm going to stay!
Joe: Me too!
Savior: XD
Voice: (Only Savior can hear) You will die...
Savior: Huh?
Joe: We should go our separate ways now.
Iceburg: Until next time!
Savior: Remember this phrase!
Joe: Huh?
Iceburg: What is it?
Savior: May the ferrets be with you!
Iceburg:
Voice: I will be back!
Narrator: The three 'noobs' set off into the sunset; however, it was not very peaceful. Savior tripped over rocks several times and each time he landed on his head. This was a very scary experience. (Heh. Not really.)
Commentator: What a great story... That's what you're thinking. 'Why is it already over?' you ask yourself. Well, guess what? It isn't. Not by a long shot.
Savior: Hey! Are you spoiling the surprise?
Commentator: Why, err, No! Not at all!
Savior: Then why are you saying all this?
Commentator: I am doing no such thing!
Savior: Liar!
Commentator: Err... Time to do something else that will make this incident go away!
Savior: Oh, I guess that makes sense.
Commentator: Here! Take this shield and sword and hit stuff!
(Hands Savior an imaginary shield and sword)
Savior: Cooool.

06-Jul-2008 20:20:18 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:21:43 by CaptChekaka

~` Varrock (Again) `~
Merchant 1: Selling fine silk! Thirty gold each! Silk!
Savior: Oh! I can use this to cover my ferrets at night!
Merchant 1: That's not really what it's for.
Savior: Huh?
Merchant 1: (To himself) I’ll scam this Savior.
Savior: Do you know of anything I can wrap my ferret in?
Merchant 1: You want the one-of-a-kind ferret blanket!
Savior: Oh! I’ll trade you this Santa for it!
Merchant 1: Yes!
???: No!
(Someone tackles Savior before he can make the purchase)
Savior: Ow.
???: Just as dumb as ever I see.
Savior: Hey! Joe!
Joe: (To Merchant 1) Get out of here you scammer.
Merchant 1: ...
Joe: You were going to sell your Santa weren’t you?
Savior: Maybe....
Joe:
Savior: It was for the ferret!
Joe: Oh my gosh...
???: Argh!
Joe: Huh?
Savior: I remember him!
Pirate 4: Argh! Ye scurvy scallywags!
Savior: Watch this Joe.
Joe: Okay...
Savior: Ferret! Go!
Pirate 4: Ahh! Ow! Blimey! Get it off!
(Pirate 4 dies from rabies)
Savior: Yay! Ferret!
Joe: Wow...
???: Hey guys!
Joe: Hey look! It's Iceburg!
Savior: Iceburg!!
Iceburg: Hello!
Savior: So, what’s up?
Iceburg: Not much... I’m kind of bored...
Joe: Hey look! A mage!
Stupid Mage: 'ello!
Joe: Hi, want to join with us?
Stupid Mage: Sure... I *am* the best mage ever...
Iceburg: …
Stupid Mage: I am! Watch me do a teleport on all four of us!
Joe: Wait!
Savior: Don’t forget me ferret!
Stupid Mage: Aliwazi kaxumani!
(Teleports them all to a random place)
Joe: Ahh!
Savior: Whee!
Iceburg: Ahh!
Stupid Mage: See? I told you!
(They land on something squishy)
Savior: Eww!
Joe: Good job...
Iceburg: How did we get to the cooking guild?
Stupid Mage: Uhh, secret spell! Yeah!
Savior: (Notices that the ferret is missing) Ferret? Ferret? No! Ferret!

06-Jul-2008 20:20:19 - Last edited on 06-Jul-2008 22:21:59 by CaptChekaka