“There used to be two trees at a time long ago, another at the south, however a careless adventurer had hacked one of them for firewood long ago. She could also see the trapdoor through the decrepit structure, that lead down into Edgeville'* dungeon. “
Allow for me to identify errors in this paragraph.
*Used to be”
Don’t use this phrase, as it is oftentimes incorrectly used. *Used to” is a phrase which is used to indicate a former practice. Being isn’t a practice, I’m afraid.
“at a time long ago”
This is prolixious and rather vague. Why is this phrase necessary at all? *used to” already shows that this was in the past.
“however”
This word is very often misused. As a caution, I will state that you should never begin a sentence with “however” unless it is being used as “in whatever way” or “to whatever extent”. When used as it is most commonly seen as “nevertheless”, you should never begin a sentence with it. Additionally, replacing this word with its definition in the above quoted paragraph doesn’t make sense;
“There used to be two trees at a time long ago, another at the south, nevertheless a careless adventurer…”
Lastly, the comma before “that” isn’t necessary. “That lead down into Edgeville** dungeon” doesn’t comply with any phrase requisite of a comma.
“courage to even set one foot into the grievous dungeon. “
Please trust me when I say that you should never split an infinitive unless absolutely necessary. Many authors and editors keep the practice of not ever allowing a person to ever split (
!) an infinitive. I say that it is alright as long as you’re willing to prove to me that it won’t work any other way.
In case you don’t know, an infinite is the basic verb form. To walk, to pray, to split, to set are all infinitives. Splitting it refers to placing anything between the “to” and the verb. A famous case is Star Trek’s “To boldly go”.
Allow for me to identify errors in this paragraph.
*Used to be”
Don’t use this phrase, as it is oftentimes incorrectly used. *Used to” is a phrase which is used to indicate a former practice. Being isn’t a practice, I’m afraid.
“at a time long ago”
This is prolixious and rather vague. Why is this phrase necessary at all? *used to” already shows that this was in the past.
“however”
This word is very often misused. As a caution, I will state that you should never begin a sentence with “however” unless it is being used as “in whatever way” or “to whatever extent”. When used as it is most commonly seen as “nevertheless”, you should never begin a sentence with it. Additionally, replacing this word with its definition in the above quoted paragraph doesn’t make sense;
“There used to be two trees at a time long ago, another at the south, nevertheless a careless adventurer…”
Lastly, the comma before “that” isn’t necessary. “That lead down into Edgeville** dungeon” doesn’t comply with any phrase requisite of a comma.
“courage to even set one foot into the grievous dungeon. “
Please trust me when I say that you should never split an infinitive unless absolutely necessary. Many authors and editors keep the practice of not ever allowing a person to ever split (
!) an infinitive. I say that it is alright as long as you’re willing to prove to me that it won’t work any other way.
In case you don’t know, an infinite is the basic verb form. To walk, to pray, to split, to set are all infinitives. Splitting it refers to placing anything between the “to” and the verb. A famous case is Star Trek’s “To boldly go”.
14-Mar-2009 02:16:38 - Last edited on 18-Dec-2009 21:20:15 by Yrolg