Well then, I’m late again. Hope I’m not annoying or anything, maybe since I’m the only one posting, my username becomes irritating.
Page 60, post 4, third clause, second sentence has a censored issue. In case the weird quote thingy glitch is there, you can copy the entire post, click edit, repost the whole thing again, and then fix the *s.
Page 61, post 2, second clause, there's another censoring issue. I suppose “tilted” would work.
Page 61, post 3, last paragraph
“who wielded a crossbow in each hand”
Um, how’d she reload them? I guess she’d drop one after shooting.
Page 62, post 6, third clause from the bottom,
“You, a lonel undead, set against a world of relatively lesser beings that you have to protect from what amounts to genetically defunct werewolves.”
lonel = lonely ?
“...and the same old dying torches that just seemed to never go out despite their obvious age.”
Speaking of torches, the average torch burns for about twenty minutes.
Page 65, post 2, last sentence of sixth clause,
“Not broken, falling apart, of withdrawn, but just plain gone.”
of should be or
Just thought I’d mention those so that’s it’s a little easier for you down the road. Nothing else to say, this time I decided not to bother with anything more than minimal feedback, I don’t think it’s that important.
Hounds are returning, yay (I guess).
That’s all for now, well done on your work, I can only wait and guess what is to come.
24-Oct-2013 03:38:58
- Last edited on
24-Oct-2013 03:39:20
by
Azigarath