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Megycal
said
:
FiFi LaFeles said :
I used to think that too, when I was a youngster
It seemed so very far away and all I could see were the years and years stretching out ahead of me while I worked like a donkey to keep the wheels on the wagon.
But, here I am, and in two months time I'll be getting my State Pension. Awsumsauce.
Always assuming Covid don't get me first.
I've got a bit over a year to wait for my state pension but I've been getting my work related pension since I was 60 ( I worked in the NHS for about 14 years ). Its not a lot but it all helps.
I gave up work when I had our eldest because after childcare and travel costs we'd have had very little extra income. We live over 100 miles away from family so there were no grandparents or other relatives to help with looking after a little'un. Turned out to be the best choice because oh boy! did he need a lot of attention! As a baby he had 3 month colic and turned me into a sleep deprived "zombie".
As a toddler he wasn't naughty but needed a
lot
of stimulating play.
Then a few years later, just before eldest started school, along came son # 2. He was a bit easier but he was often poorly and I'd even sleep on the floor beside his cot to keep an eye on him. He joined in with almost everything we did with his older brother. Once he started school he was still ill fairly often, nothing serious but enough for him to need time off. The children certainly kept me busy.
I never returned to my old job ( I'd have had to refresh my skills and reregister ) but when my husband became self employed I became his part time clerical assistant. I still look after his work records and he says he can't ever retire because he needs to keep me in craft materials. Lol.
Haha there is a reason why I am a one and done parent and that is colic. Plus mine was up every 45 minutes day and night for 3 straight months with 0 support. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known
FiFi LaFeles said :
I used to think that too, when I was a youngster
It seemed so very far away and all I could see were the years and years stretching out ahead of me while I worked like a donkey to keep the wheels on the wagon.
But, here I am, and in two months time I'll be getting my State Pension. Awsumsauce.
Always assuming Covid don't get me first.
I've got a bit over a year to wait for my state pension but I've been getting my work related pension since I was 60 ( I worked in the NHS for about 14 years ). Its not a lot but it all helps.
I gave up work when I had our eldest because after childcare and travel costs we'd have had very little extra income. We live over 100 miles away from family so there were no grandparents or other relatives to help with looking after a little'un. Turned out to be the best choice because oh boy! did he need a lot of attention! As a baby he had 3 month colic and turned me into a sleep deprived "zombie".
As a toddler he wasn't naughty but needed a
lot
of stimulating play.
Then a few years later, just before eldest started school, along came son # 2. He was a bit easier but he was often poorly and I'd even sleep on the floor beside his cot to keep an eye on him. He joined in with almost everything we did with his older brother. Once he started school he was still ill fairly often, nothing serious but enough for him to need time off. The children certainly kept me busy.
I never returned to my old job ( I'd have had to refresh my skills and reregister ) but when my husband became self employed I became his part time clerical assistant. I still look after his work records and he says he can't ever retire because he needs to keep me in craft materials. Lol.
Haha there is a reason why I am a one and done parent and that is colic. Plus mine was up every 45 minutes day and night for 3 straight months with 0 support. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known
18-Jan-2021 14:55:11
Brigantia
said
:
FiFi LaFeles said :
You probably will and you'll be glad you did
No.
It is a smart choice to not have kids imho. I definitely had a childfree mindset right up until 26 then I gave it a year where we would try and of we had a kid, cool, and if we didn't, that is cool as well. There were a lot of reasons for this which ranged from both of us finally having a stable career to societal pressure to marital guilt etc... etc...
But I lost my fast track career (I worked in multibillion/multitrillion dollar companies with upward mobility) and now I am in a local multimillion company with not a lot of upward mobility - but it is 5 minutes away and I am in the middle of negotiating part time because mine is approaching school age and about 90% of parenting falls on me due to my husband's demanding career.
Unfortunately, we just still live in a society where most the parenting falls squarely on females and I am no exception. There was and is a huge societal shift away from it and there are definitely pockets where it is more even, but the pandemic really highlighted this as women left the workplace in massive numbers for childcare purposes. I was also almost one of those females.
So I totally get the childfree lifestyle. Chances are ypu are going to take a hit in a major area of your life on top of the additional responsibility and huge life change. I actually wish more people would talk about this. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known
FiFi LaFeles said :
You probably will and you'll be glad you did
No.
It is a smart choice to not have kids imho. I definitely had a childfree mindset right up until 26 then I gave it a year where we would try and of we had a kid, cool, and if we didn't, that is cool as well. There were a lot of reasons for this which ranged from both of us finally having a stable career to societal pressure to marital guilt etc... etc...
But I lost my fast track career (I worked in multibillion/multitrillion dollar companies with upward mobility) and now I am in a local multimillion company with not a lot of upward mobility - but it is 5 minutes away and I am in the middle of negotiating part time because mine is approaching school age and about 90% of parenting falls on me due to my husband's demanding career.
Unfortunately, we just still live in a society where most the parenting falls squarely on females and I am no exception. There was and is a huge societal shift away from it and there are definitely pockets where it is more even, but the pandemic really highlighted this as women left the workplace in massive numbers for childcare purposes. I was also almost one of those females.
So I totally get the childfree lifestyle. Chances are ypu are going to take a hit in a major area of your life on top of the additional responsibility and huge life change. I actually wish more people would talk about this. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known
18-Jan-2021 15:05:43 - Last edited on 18-Jan-2021 15:06:35 by Averia Light
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