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How do friendships form?

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Awesome041

Awesome041

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At Gemzorawr's comment:

While I do not believe it is necessarily true that friendship (or any relationship for that matter) needs equality and reciprocity to exist, in my opinion it does seem harder to maintain friendships with people or entities in which the relationship is more one-sided or lop-sided.

I can see how relationships could develop more of a give and take.

The degree of friendship and the degree of give and take can also be a big part of the relationship or friendship. Parts could be equal, yet both parties (assuming a two-sided relationship, but could be extended to complex relationships with many individual acting units) could give a lot or very little.

01-Dec-2014 01:35:18

Lefty Lucy

Lefty Lucy

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Coolinkgrl said :
ChampionVrek said :
We don't have friends.

That's why we play Runescape.

Truth hurts.

But the friends I have made, it starts with someone having the courage, friendliness, or balls to talk to someone first. And I guess from there, if you talk enough, I think a friendship forms. Sadly, I'm not very good at this so I have very few friends. But it's nice if friendships form, the friends I have made are true blue, as corny as that sounds. And when I say "friends" I mean like 2 people. Yes, I know

I am the same, Coolinkgrl. It's not that I am not good at talking to people. I could talk one on one with someone about things I think are interesting or important all day. Put me at a party or in a room full of people and expect me to small talk with them and I would rather stick needles in my eyes.

I am an introvert and I don't like small talk or social politics or B.S. I have many acquaintances but only a couple of people I really count as friends who I can really talk to and who are always there for me and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's just how I am. But way every once in a while I find someone who is as weird as I am and everything just clicks. You don't have to feel bad about not having lots of friends. Just keep being you and the true friendships will happen.
This is me trying.

01-Dec-2014 04:42:02 - Last edited on 01-Dec-2014 04:54:20 by Lefty Lucy

Awesome041

Awesome041

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Speaking is just all around problematic. At least with writing or typing you see what is on the page before you send or read it! (And don't have as many regrets about saying the wrong thing, offending someone, etc.)

Obviously, speaking allows one to be heard. This is particularly problematic where sound resonators and amplifiers can pick up one's voice. (Synthetic voice impersonation will probably become a major issue when voice-recognition-based security measures are in place, apart from the issue of having what you say recorded to be used against you later.)

I can see the point about feeling bad about friends; it seems many like to brag about their friends and if one is really mean, put others down because of it. It is crazy to think of who really is a friend or not. Unfortunately, even those with big friend lists may be hoping or relying on the assumption that many are actually their friends when in fact they are not or only to a lesser degree.

What if one has no "you"?

Small talk is funny sometimes though. It can be a nice way to actually start a meaningful conversation.

As for politics, there can be some really worthwhile discussions, but it can be problematic, particularly if others strongly disagree.

As for B.S., yes, drama is something to be avoided, and other extreme forms too.

Righty Tighty.

How did you come up with that name, Lefty Lucy?

01-Dec-2014 06:34:59

Philphish

Philphish

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ugh duh ez

just casually tell someone else something embarrassing/personal about yourself, laugh about it, ask them something, and b00m you have instantly made things more straightforward & open. Friendship can follow easily

awkward personal anecdotes are #1 way to go. Not even joking

10-Dec-2014 06:03:36 - Last edited on 10-Dec-2014 06:04:38 by Philphish

Averia Light

Averia Light

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By having a blank space baby
And writing the other person's name

#Catchysongsyouhearonthewaytoworkdamnyoutaylorswift And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

10-Dec-2014 10:25:44 - Last edited on 10-Dec-2014 10:26:15 by Averia Light

Averia Light

Averia Light

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Philphish said :
ugh duh ez

just casually tell someone else something embarrassing/personal about yourself, laugh about it, ask them something, and b00m you have instantly made things more straightforward & open. Friendship can follow easily

awkward personal anecdotes are #1 way to go. Not even joking

Not gonna lie, when people do this I am put off.

I guess it works for guys, but for girls it's like ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm okay then weirdo. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

10-Dec-2014 10:27:19

Philphish

Philphish

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we might be thinking on different levels in terms of how awkward/personal it is, idk. plus awkward wasn't quite the right word

like one person i'm still really good friends with, I can remember meeting them cuz we were in the same class and I brought up how they always had amazing questions while I was struggling to process any of the basics. So basically was calling myself dumb,

i don't mean saying stuff like "UGH MY EX IS SUCH A b****........hah......have you ever been dumped?"

11-Dec-2014 00:02:27

Deryk

Deryk

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The idea that someone needs tens of relationships in order to be fulfilled socially is a bit thoughtless I think. I think friend is good. I don't see why having multiple gives magnitude. I would think having too many friends would only prove that you have none.

Trust and sacrifice seems to be the only real factors; both of these are characteristic of a moral or virtuous person, immoral people are not trustworthy and selfish therefore they could not be friends. In this I discriminate friendship from acquaintanceship. I consider what most people to be as best friends to be merely acquaintances, and friends equal to lovers spare only ****** interactions.

I'm aware of no one that really, truly, doesn't want a friend as I have defined them. However one doesn't just meet say "Hi" can become friends over night. Generally a friend is someone who you can be true to in all cases, most people hide behind masks and so long as you wear such a thing any relationship is a lie.

Ultimately it is thus; (I remember a quote saying something along the lines of) the best way to find a friend is to be one. What do you think a friend should be like? Act like that and you'll find people who will accept you. Meeting people is so simple, become a friend you'd like to have, then ask yourself who wouldn't want you as a friend? Everyone is looking for a friend they're so sparse. Be a friend to all you meet, someone who's worthy of being your friend will see how you are and accept you as you are so long as you're true and willing to sacrifice for them as they would for you. 'Portables' - Portable Locations Friend's Chat - Link to Thread
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Forum Help (Here more for me than you. :P )

11-Dec-2014 01:34:59

Awesome041

Awesome041

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I agree Deryk that trust and sacrifice are very important and real factors in friendship.

Unfortunately, once trust is severely broken; it seems impossible to ever fully trust anyone again!

Your point about sacrifice is a nice reminder because sacrifice is often and easily overlooked.

The lack of sacrifice can damage or completely ruin a friendship very swiftly.

One instance I find that still brings up feelings of anger to this day.

Someone I once thought was at least decent (despite our major differences) really made me question a lot of who they were simply because of a statement something along the lines of you shouldn't be as concerned or involved in this family member's life, and that maybe they should be able to have their own little "private" conversation.

What could be so important that someone has to interrupt with a thought like that? Sure I get that people have problems sometimes, but something about it struck a nerve like pin pricking, like a finger plucking a string and hearing/feeling is resonate to very core of one's being, and believe you me did that chord sing!

(Looking back it is very odd logic also; if it cannot be said to that person's face, why say that there is something you want to say but you can't say it in front of the person you don't want to know? If something can be said, why not say it? Was it really necessary to do all that?)

Sure, maybe it is nice to some people to go out and do things, go places, see different people, etc., but the idea that this was best for the other person was way off.

When you start doing things that have permanent consequences, like marring you body, hurting your own health because you have overreached, etc., then it becomes my issue.

Why?

16-Dec-2014 10:06:05

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